It had been a grueling morning at the doctor’s office. I took the 3 kids in for Lily’s 6 month well-baby check up…just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill appointment, complete with a very long wait (especially for 2 active little boys). I was doing all I could to keep my boys under control, including feeding them large amounts of animal crackers even though lunch was half an hour away. Despite my efforts though, by the time we were checking out they were totally checked out …completely running wild in the waiting room as I paid our co-pay and set-up the next appointment. They were running laps in the small waiting area and yelling and laughing VERY LOUDLY…and the worst part was they were completely disregarding me and any commands I gave them. In that moment, I had no control over my children and I was totally embarrassed. I finally managed to catch Ryle mid-stride and keep hold of his arm long enough to direct him to the door and then I scooped Ben up and had to carry him out screaming and crying while also carrying Lily in her car seat. All in all it was not a pretty scene and I’m sure the polite women at the front desk who were giving me sympathy smiles were glad to see us leave!

Looking back I can laugh about it now, but on the car ride home I was experiencing anger, embarrassment, discouragement, and exhaustion. When I got in I had the boys spend some time up in their room so that I could call a friend and get some help…I knew I was far too angry to be able to discipline them appropriately and lovingly. After I repented of my own sin I was able to correct the boys and talk to them about their disobedience. However, I was still locating the problem in them and wanting them to see how serious it was that they didn’t obey mommy. In short I was still viewing them as bigger sinners than myself.

It wasn’t until further conversation with Jared that I was able to see that the main issue God wanted to call my attention to wasn’t the seriousness of Ryle and Ben’s disobedience, but rather what was revealed about my own heart. In those moments at the doctor’s office there was a lot going on in my heart…anger toward my children, pride that was craving the approval of a room full of strangers, and an inordinate desire for well-behaved children.

Ryle and Ben may have been more visibly rebellious, yet when I look at my own heart I’m aware that my own sin and rebellion is no less flagrant…just a little more hidden to the onlookers in the waiting room. And seeing my own sin causes me to flee to the cross where I can find forgiveness and be cleansed from all unrighteousness. And then I’m positioned to come alongside my boys as a fellow sinner and remind them of the good news of the gospel…that Christ died to save sinners like them and sinners like me.

One of the ways I have recently been trying to “expand my horizons” is by reading books that I would not normally be drawn to. Into this category falls history biographies and so I recently finished up David McCullough’s book John Adams. While I enjoyed learning more about John Adams and the key role he played in forming our nation, what I enjoyed most about the book was learning more about his wife Abigail.

She was truly a remarkable woman whose life was characterized by sacrifice, industry, and service to her family. She made huge sacrifices by releasing her husband to serve the country months and sometimes years at a time. In his absence this meant that she was fully responsible to run their New England farm on her own as well as care for their young family. Though it was difficult (to say the least) at times, she did it with joy because she saw the unique call on her husband’s life. McCullough writes,

“She would have him no other way than he was; she believed fervently in what he was doing, encouraged him in the role, and wished no other for him; she wanted him to be where he was doing his utmost for the country. And still she desperately wanted him with her.”

I love that picture…she desperately wanted to be with her husband, yet she recognized the call on his life to influence the world around him. And so she released him to do this work because she cared more about the good of others than her own personal comfort. That’s what I want to be like!

Her son John Quincy (later to be our sixth president himself) honored her well when he wrote after her death,

“My mother…was a minister of blessing to all human beings within her sphere of action…She had no feelings but of kindness and beneficence. Yet her mind was as firm as her temper was mild and gentle. She…has been to me more than a mother. She has been a spirit from above watching over me for good, and contributing by my mere consciousness of her existence, to the comfort of my life…Never have I known another human being, the perpetual object of whose life, was so unremittingly to do good.”

Isn’t it good that in God’s providence there are remarkable women like Abigail Adams who stood with and behind our Founding Fathers!

One of the more unique things about my life experience is that I have had the opportunity to live with four different families over the years. This has afforded me the wonderful opportunity to view four different women “up close and personal” and I have learned valuable lessons from each one…

Of course the first woman is my own mother. I am grateful for the many ways my own mom has been an example to me, but one of the things I love the most about my mom is her ability to laugh at herself…she probably does this better than anyone I know. I have so many great memories of all of us being in stitches and laughing together, all because my mom didn’t take herself too seriously and had learned to laugh at herself. When my own quirks come out or I do something embarrassing I want this same ability to enjoy the moment and simply laugh at myself.

The Haughery’s were the second family I lived with, during my last year and a half of college. I think I could fill a book with what I learned from Cynthia during that time. Simply put, she is one of my heroes! But if I had to pick just one way I want to be like her, it would be her unwavering, bedrock faith in God. I have watched Cynthia walk through the deep waters of suffering and I have never heard a complaint, only a resolve to trust God. When trials come my way in life, I want to walk through them with a “Cynthia-like” faith in God and his goodness.

Family number three is actually a family from here at Covenant Fellowship. During that last year of college I did some hospital rotations in this area for a few weeks and Jeff and Martha Clark were kind enough to let me (a complete stranger at the time) stay with them. What I saw in Martha during that short time was a woman who thoroughly enjoyed her children and her role as a wife and mother. To be around Martha was to experience her joy!

The last family I lived with was during the year that Jared attended the Pastor’s College down in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Somehow we ended up getting to live with the best host family ever…the Linn’s. What amazed me about Marianne was that we were the fifth family to live with them (and they have had two more since then!). Talk about learning to be flexible and embrace change! Every year Marianne had an entirely new family (with all their quirks and habits) to get used to and yet she did it so graciously…in a short time she made her home feel like our home. I want to be like Marianne in the way I embrace hospitality – and change.

I thank God for each of these four women. I love that I have had the chance to glean from each one during different seasons of my life…their impact has been bigger than they realize.

Perhaps God may give you the chance to host a family or single lady your home in the future. I promise there is eternal impact as you demonstrate what it means to be a godly woman, wife, mother, sister and friend to a woman welcomed into your home.