By Rob Flood

One of the most lasting melodies written in all of music is the theme to the end of Ludwig van Beethoven’s 9th symphony. We are most familiar with the English words set to the melody:

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!

This is a melody that has lasted two centuries. In the context of the opus of all mankind, this melody stands out as memorable, singable, and reverent. We can marvel at such beauty and be glad for such genius. But we must not lose sight of one very important and relevant fact: it was written by a deaf man.

The theme recognized by much of the western world was never heard by its composer.

Now, I don’t want to elevate Beethoven to an unhelpful place but I do want to learn something from him. Amidst his many quirks and eccentricities, along with his many sinful patterns, there was a clarity about his purpose in life. He was confident that God made him to compose. He endured a father that discouraged his original compositions. He endured a life of ridicule for his personality and insecurities. And then, most ironically, he endured increasing deafness for most of his life until it overtook him.

Any one such trial could throw a person off his game…distract him from his purpose. But the combination of all of these, and more, still did not shut down the composer inside of the heart of Beethoven.

We, like Beethoven, have been given a purpose. We are called to serve the King. We are called to adore the God of glory…the Lord of love. Not just with our flowering hearts, but with our surrendered lives.

Some of us face trials right out of the gate. Others of us face them while we’re serving. And still others face the trial of their responsibility seemingly outgrowing their ability. We are quick to fall into discouragement…quick to be distracted from what God has called us to. We are quick to pull back, protect ourselves, and pull out of the fight. When we do this, when we stop serving because serving is costly or too hard, we forget the character and power of the God we serve.

Is anything too hard for our God? God used a deaf man to write a timeless symphony. Is anything too hard for our God? The very power of sin and death were overcome with the sinless sacrifice of the Son of God. We’ve been freed and purchased and adopted and sanctified. Is anything too hard for our God? The resounding answer from all of redemptive history is, “No!”

Are there ways you’ve been serving that have worn you down? Are there areas where you feel unneeded or underappreciated? Do you feel called to serve in an area of weakness? We must remember God:

Thou art giving and forgiving, ever blessing, ever blessed,
Wellspring of the joy of living, ocean depth of happy rest!
Thou our Father, Christ our Brother, all who live in love are Thine;
Teach us how to love each other, lift us to the joy divine.

If God can use a deaf man to write a timeless symphony, he can use you to serve in weakness.

By Rob Flood

Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. (Philippians 1:25-26)

Paul has arrived at the conclusion that, for him, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If he lives, he continues to bear fruit in the mission Christ has set before him. If he dies, he rests from his labors in the eternal rest of his King and his Savior.

He becomes convinced that he will remain living and not die to be with the Lord just yet. But he remains, not out of resignation, but with distinct purpose. His life, lived in the fullness of the gospel, will be lived for the purpose of others. It will be lived for their progress in the faith and their joy in the faith. His words, actions, and affections will be sown into the Philippians for their progress and joy.

We have been joined with others in life. Some of us through natural birth, some through new birth, some through marriage and some through the birth of our own children. And, as Christ tarries, we know we will continue with all of these people in our lives.

As we labor daily for the health of our marriages, what will give definition to our efforts? As we learn new boundaries of our weaknesses and limitations in our parenting, will we allow God himself to define our purpose as parents?

When we live for the progress of others, we strive for their godliness and growth. We want what is best for them in the Lord and we want it for them. We do not pursue this so that our marriage or home is better, but so that they would know the true person and character of God more fully. But if we do this absent a goal for their joy, we run the risk of embittering them toward God. We risk setting up our love as an achievement goal rather than something that we freely offer. Wanting the progress of our spouse or our children is insufficient.

When we live for the joy of others, we strive for them to experience the gladness of God in their lives. We want them happy. We want them to enjoy the life they live. Again, not just because their happiness leads to our own, but because our love desires their joy for them. But if we do this absent a goal for their progress in the Lord, we run the risk of living lives defined by whether those in our lives are happy with us. We risk seeking their joy at the expense of their godliness.

Paul’s understanding of a life purchased by Christ led him to one conclusion: if Christ tarries, my life will be purposed for the progress and joy of others. Either one or the other might be a simple endeavor. But to accomplish both…that is a task of divine proportions.

When we continue with our children or our spouse for their progress and joy in the faith, we bring adjustment without anger. We bring concern without judgment. We bring levity and relatability without compromise. We fan the flame of the one without smothering the other. The call is not optional…we receive it if Christ, in his wisdom, tarries and leaves us remaining on earth.

While not optional, the call is humbling. It is far beyond us. So we must pray. We must repent when we breech the balance. We should fall on our faces in gratitude when we achieve the balance.

God graciously gives us this filter through which we may evaluate our motives and methods. Knowing that our lives are to be lived for others’ progress and joy in the faith gives us a wonderful tool. The result: those in our lives will have “ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus.”

By Rob Flood

The earth rotates: the sun rises, the moon rises, the sun rises again.  The earth revolves: the leaves turn, the snow falls, the flowers bloom, the sun shines, the leaves turn again.  This routine repeats until the return of Christ, when the glory of the Son alone will be our light.

As the earth revolves, that time of year approaches once again.  August ends, September begins, the leaves turn, and children return to school.  New materials await learning, new challenges await conquering, and new trials await fresh faith.  Faith not just for the children but for the parents as well.

As we consider these new materials, new challenges, and new trials, it might help us all to remember a few things:

1. The Big Picture: Each challenge and trial requires us to get involved in the details.  This is obvious.  However, if we allow the details to outline the sole definition, we will shoot after the wrong goals as we seek to resolve or tackle the problem.  Every challenge and trial occurs within the context of something larger: your relationship with your child.  When our faith only has the little picture in view, then our faith is only as strong as the current success of our circumstances.  When we keep the bigger picture in view, then our approach and our tone is informed by something bigger than the current circumstances.  As parents of school-aged children, we must keep the big picture in view.
   
   
2. Our Big God:  Whether you are teaching your child or helping with homework for tomorrow’s class, school challenges can bring us to the end of ourselves.  As parents, we sometimes focus on the things we’d love to change about our children.  We desire good for them and want their desire to be the same for us.  However, those areas of change are often beyond what we can manufacture or even influence.  That realm belongs to God alone.  As we work with our children throughout the school year, we must remember to keep God in view.  Not just his jurisdiction, but his posture toward us as parents and toward our children.  And keep in mind that our big God is normally about the big picture.
   
   
3. What God Can Do with Small Faith: We don’t need to muster up the faith for the entire school year.  We don’t need to be smart enough to anticipate every trial or challenge that will come this year.  We have strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow because of our faithful God.  We must protect ourselves from trusting in our children or in ourselves for a successful school year.  We need a Godward faith.  We need a faith that acknowledges our need for God.  We need a faith that acknowledges our need for faith.  With small faith, God can move mountains.  With our small faith, surely God can provide a successful school year.

When we remember these few things, the school year isn’t primarily filled with fear or trial.  It is primarily filled with opportunities for the strength, faithfulness, and glory of God to shine forth through us and around us.  Realizing that our big God is with us in the process of our children’s education should give all of us faith for a new school year.

By Rob Flood

A recent article came out in LifeScience referencing a study done on human personalities and whether they change over time or not.  The article is titled, “Personality Set for Life by 1st Grade, Study Suggests.” 

The article says flatly:

Our personalities stay pretty much the same throughout our lives, from our early childhood years to after we're over the hill, according to a new study.

The results show personality traits observed in children as young as first graders are a strong predictor of adult behavior.

So, join me on a little journey back to when you were 6 or 7 years old.  What were you like?  What things interested you?  How did you interact with others?  What was your perception of people?  … of work?  …of your teacher? 

Now, join me back in the present.  What are you like?  What things interest you?  How do you interact with others?  What is your perception of people?  …of work?  …of those in authority over you?

Now, consider the following statements from the article and see if you agree:

"We remain recognizably the same person," said study author Christopher Nave, a doctoral candidate at the University of California, Riverside. "This speaks to the importance of understanding personality because it does follow us wherever we go across time and contexts."

If you agree and see continuity between then and now, then praise God.

• He is the one who knit you together in your mother’s womb and made you in a fearful and wonderful way.
• Even the parts of your personality that you wish had changed, but haven't, serve as platforms for praise.  They keep you close to God and regularly aware of your dependence upon grace...not personality growth.
• God uses the personality He's given you for your good, the good of others, and His glory.

If you disagree and see discontinuity between then and now, then praise God.

• He is the one who orchestrated events to occur that have shaped you into the man or woman that you are now.
• You likely are seeing the impact of the gospel in your life.  Earth shattering truth like the foregiveness of sins and peace with God will change a person...even a personality.
• God uses the personality He's given you for your good, the good of others, and His glory.

The bottom line: God is still God.  I’m glad there are folks that study this stuff and write their findings.  I’m glad because, in all honest work that observes mankind, we can always detect ways to fall on our faces and worship God. 

Your personality…love it or hate it…is a creation from our God intended for his purposes.  Whether it is to draw you close or use you mightily, it is a tool in the hand of our good and gracious Creator…who knew what He was doing when He formed you.

By Rob Flood

Have you ever noticed that God doesn’t talk about fear without talking about himself. It’s really an incredible trend to notice. Consider just a few examples:

• Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

• Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

• Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

• When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.” (Revelation 1:17-18)

Whenever God’s people fear, we are not told to buck it up. We are told to look to God. The fears we have for the future of our children, for the condition of our marriage, for whether we’ll ever get married in the first place, all are answered in one place alone…a good look at God.

Our temptation is to read topical books or get accountability to overcome our fear. These are good things, as far as they go, and ought to be part of our lives. However, they will all fail due to lack of power. We can always talk ourselves out of peace when we look at our problems. There is always something the books didn’t cover, or something we always struggle applying.

However, a good look at God…at the cross and work of Jesus Christ…will never fail us due to lack of power. There we see perfect power merged with perfect sovereignty merged with perfect love. It is the reason that John says: 

                There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)

When we are rightly understanding our God and his love and power leveraged on our behalf, fear must flee. It cannot survive in love like that.

The fears we have for our marriage, for our children, for our lives, are all very real. There is nothing trivial about them. We simply must accept, and then rejoice over, the reality of God’s love for us; the reality and power that comes in his presence with us. When we fear, we would be wise to do what the Scriptures illustrate for us time and again: Look to God. He is with us. He will help us. He was dead and is now alive forevermore.

By Rob Flood

As a church, we can often look to those who lead and teach us and see the fruit of their ministry. We are grateful for those leaders and we are thankful to God for the fruit we enjoy in our lives. What may be less obvious but no less real is the fruit that exists in the leaders’ lives because of the ministry of those in the church. Simply put, the lives of the members of the church are stronger because of their leaders…and the lives of the leaders are stronger because of the members of the church.

This is our story at Covenant Fellowship Church. And, as a church, we had a recent display of the fruit of our church’s ministry in the lives of one of their leaders: Dave Harvey.

As you may know, Dave has recently written a book called Rescuing Ambition. In addition to expounding upon the Scriptures, Dave has included many stories of many people from our church. These examples exist because of the faith and fruit that has resulted from members of this church living out the gospel in real life.

Well, on July 28th, Dave was the featured guest on Desiring God Live: a two-hour interview broadcast through www.desiringgod.com . If you saw it, you know that God was honored and the Covenant Fellowship Church was well represented. If you missed it, you can watch it below.

Thank God for fruit in the mission…both in the members and in the leaders. Truly, what do we have that we have not received? We are thankful to God for his faithfulness. May he use this interview, this book, but primarily the witness of this church for his glory in the mission. 

By Rob Flood

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just ask questions about what to do with our children, get the answers, and have everything work wonderfully?  Wouldn’t that make a great blog?  Well, it might make a popular blog, but not a great one.  A great parenting blog in the Christian world does not contain answers on what to do with your children.  It contains thoughts on how to think of your children.  It contains insights on how to understand and believe God for your children. 

This focus, how to think of your children and how to believe God for your children, is an important focus when it comes to entertainment choices.  While some things are clearly off limits and wrong, most forms of entertainment that draw our children are not as clear cut.  Coming to conclusions on these subjects is less like a fact-finding mission and more like unearthing an artifact.  It is not quick and to the point.  It is more like careful work, dusting and preserving what we’re after.

In a recent blog, C.J. Mahaney wrote on children’s use of video games.  I believe you will find it helpful as you seek to unearth and dust off the very personalized, nuanced path of parenting for each of your children.  Here is that blog. (click here.)

Also, let me recommend reading or rereading Chapter 6 from the Worldliness book.  In it, Jeff Purswell helps us see the world with biblical eyes: not as entirely good nor entirely wicked.  He challenges us with statements such as:

A biblical worldview sees every moment of life lived under the sovereign grace of God and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Scripture’s story is emphatic: God’s rule extends to all of creation and therefore to all of our lives.  As Abraham Kuyper famously put it, “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: Mine!” (p. 156)

This is a helpful approach to thinking about the world…those things that fall in the gray.  While there is no “one size fits all,” the principle of Christ’s lordship…therefore his ownership…is unwavering.

May God guide you as you discover his will for your family as it relates to video games…and the million other areas where we, as parents, must walk by faith.

By Rob Flood

Summer is almost over. Do you remember June 1st? You know, the day you had a boatload of helpful plans for the summer. This summer was going to be when those books got read, those neighbors got reached, those household jobs got done. Well, let me break the news to you gently: THE END IS NEAR!!!!!

August is just around the corner and the summer is in its waning moments. If this reality floods your heart with panic and guilt, then your summer has been as productive as my summer. I don’t know what happened this year, but I want the police to find the thief who stole July out of our summer calendars.

Take heart, fellow mourners. There is time yet to be redeemed. If you thought this summer was the perfect time to have your neighbors over to build relationally with them, there is still time. If you had your heart set on finally attending a Second Saturday, you’ll be glad to know that August has one…it’s on the first Saturday.

Or, maybe you wanted to read through the New Testament this summer. If you open your Bibles, I assure you the thief who stole July has left your Bible in tact…it’s in there still. If this was the summer you were going to learn more about the fathers of the Reformation, their deeds have not changed just because the month does.

There’s still time.

We live lives that orient around the summer, with all new ambitions scheduled to begin the fall. Yet, the call of mission…of treasuring, proclaiming, and growing in the gospel of Jesus Christ…is a 12 month call. If you had high hopes for June, July, and August…you can still fulfill those goals for August, September, and October. While the end of summer is near, we need not panic. Ours is not a summer calling. We are not called to present our summers as living sacrifices, but our lives. And, if your life is like mine, it’s lived all 12 months of the year.

As much as we’d all have preferred to have July back, we must remember that God’s mercy and grace are new every morning…not just on summer days. Take heart…but still take action.

By Rob Flood

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.

God’s goodness is an identifiable truth fixed forever in the heavens.  It is best displayed on the cross of Jesus Christ.  There, a holy God poured his wrath upon the Innocent…and poured his love upon the guilty.  In that single act, God’s goodness is always pointed toward the redeemed.

This truth has comforted souls for thousands of years.  Yet, in my life, all I need is to stub my toe and I can question the goodness of God.  My roof leaks.  …is God still there?!  The car breaks down.  …does he love me still?  It’s kind of silly, really, but my circumstances so often cause my soul to reflexively question God’s goodness in loving me well.

So, when we come to verses like Hebrews 12:6, we are faced with what seems like a very uncomfortable paradox.  “The Lord disciplines the one he loves.”  That means that God is actively loving me when I’m not feeling particularly loved.  It means that my circumstances will lie to me about God’s goodness and God’s love.  It means I’ll have to trust in what God says rather than what I think.  It means that faith will have to guide me rather than sight.

In trials, God is loving us like a Father.  He is loving us for greater purposes than our comfort.  In trials, we take comfort not in our comfort but in the One who is causing our discomfort.  We are told that:

…for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:29)

When we feel the discomfort of trials…particularly extended discomfort…we can question if God knows what he’s up to.  Which is why I’m so glad for the next two verses:

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:29-30)

God is up to something bigger than I’m aware of.  He’s up to a work that is aimed at my glorification…not my “today.” 

Keith and Kristyn Getty capture this difficult, faith-demanding, yet glorious truth in one of their hymns.  It is called, “When Trials Come.”  The video is below…followed by the lyrics.

May God relieve your burden in his perfect time.  And, until then, may he embolden your faith and hope in the Sovereign One who controls every pang of difficulty.  He’s up to something bigger than we see.  And he’s causing it to work together for our good.

When Trials Come

When trials come no longer fear
For in the pain our God draws near
To fire a faith worth more than gold
And there His faithfulness is told
And there His faithfulness is told

Within the night I know Your peace
The breath of God brings strength to me
And new each morning mercy flows
As treasures of the darkness grow
As treasures of the darkness grow

I turn to Wisdom not my own
For every battle You have known
My confidence will rest in You
Your love endures Your ways are good
Your love endures Your ways are good

When I am weary with the cost
I see the triumph of the cross
So in it’s shadow I shall run
Till You completes the work begun
Till You completes the work begun

One day all things will be made new
I’ll see the hope You called me to
And in your kingdom paved with gold
I’ll praise your faithfulness of old
I’ll praise your faithfulness of old

Keith & Kristyn Getty
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music

 

By Rob Flood

I remember awaiting the arrival of our first child. I had plans for the type of dad I would be, the type of child he would be, and what our relationship would look like. I had faith for it…I had confidence in it. …then he was born!

On night number two, he cried all night. I mean, all night. In less than 48 hours, my plan was out the window. I was not filled with faith and joy but with panic and fear. How do I stop this persecution?!? As he grew, and as the number of our children grew, my plan went further and further out the window, down the street and around the corner. For the record, it never made its way back.

The plan I drew up was a bit utopian: wonderfully compliant children who desired to love God, honor dad, and avoid sin. Now, to their credit, they do seem to love God, they do desire to honor dad, and they do desire to avoid sin. But they are flawed at it. And so is their dad. My plan didn’t include weakness in my parenting. And, as time goes on, I discover more and more of that overlooked ingredient.

So, what are dads like me supposed to do? How about moms who, like me, are weak? We still have the glorious responsibility of raising children to love and fear God. We still have the duty to engage their hearts, even if ours keep interfering. What are we supposed to do?

William P. Farley helps us here in his book Gospel-Powered Parenting. Rather than equip us with steps and techniques, he turns our attention to the only salve for weak parents: the gospel.

When we turn to the gospel, it transforms our weaknesses. “My grace is sufficient for you,” Jesus told Paul, “for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2Cor. 12:9). God has inserted his treasure (the gospel of the glory of God in the face of Christ), the light that converts our children, “in jars of clay.” We are those clay pots! He has done this “to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (2 Cor. 4:7). What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection. (p. 219)

The application is wondrously simple.

1. We embrace the reality that we are clay pots. We don’t fight it. We don’t deny it. We don’t hide it. We wear t-shirts with arrows pointing up, saying: This guy is a clay pot!  We tell our friends that we are clay pots and we help they see that they are, too.

2. We thank God for his power. Our children are not condemned to “clay pot” parenting. They are confined to “clay pot” parents, but not “clay pot” parenting. God, in his surpassing power, will pour immeasurable treasure into their lives through these clay pots they call parents. That ought to make us thankful, indeed.

3. We act in faith. Yes, we are weak. Yes, we have cracks in us. But we have a God committed to using weak vessels to display his great power, love, and mercy.

Join me as I join Farley in shouting with joy: What wonderful news!

By Jared Mellinger 

Last week, we had a brief introduction to Jace Hudson. Here is the second part to our Q&A.

What books or authors have had the biggest influence on your life, and how have you benefited from them? 

A favorite author of mine is John Piper (big surprise!). A few favorites are Desiring God, Don’t Waste Your Life, and When I Don’t Desire God. I’ve already talked about Piper, so I probably don’t need to go into these books, except to say that these three works have probably been the ones of Piper’s that I’ve turned back to the most to renew my mind and inspire me.

Other than Piper books, one of my favorite books is John Stott’s commentary on Romans (The Message of Romans, in “The Bible Speaks Today” series). God used this book at a very strategic point in my discipleship. I was in college and had only been saved for a year or so. There was some pretty serious sin in my life that I was trying to grapple with, but my grasp of the gospel was pretty shallow. I could hear God calling me to love him and follow him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, but I was really feeling the pull of this world and felt enticed by it. God, however, wasn’t about to let me go. He sent Mr. Stott into my life to call me to attention and to “school” me in the gospel. I particularly remember studying through Romans 1-3 where I came to feel the weight of my sin but also the releasing freedom of Christ’s righteousness.

What are you currently reading?

The Christian Ministry, Charles Bridges
Church Planting for Dummies, Mike McKinley
Death by Love, Mark Driscoll
Heaven on Earth: The Rise and Fall of Socialism, Joshua Muravchik
* I just finished Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together (Ron Hall, Denver Moore, and Lynn Vincent) which was a very interesting and engaging read.

What are 2 or 3 of your favorite quotes?

I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. - Paul (Acts 20:24)

Only one life, twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last. - Anonymous

According to my judgment the most important point to be attended to is this: above all things see to it that your souls are happy in the Lord. Other things may press upon you, the Lord's work may even have urgent claims upon your attention, but I deliberately repeat, it is of supreme and paramount importance that you should seek above all things to have your souls truly happy in God Himself! Day by day seek to make this the most important business of your life. - George Muller
 
What are 2 or 3 of the most important things you learned at the Pastors College?

Probably the most important thing I learned at the PC had to do with biblical fellowship. Pride had slipped into the way in which I was approaching meeting other believers, but it was very sneaky in the way it slipped in. I was coming into meetings with the mindset “I’m here to serve,” which isn’t bad in itself. However, serving others became a means of neglecting self-disclosure. It was a smokescreen. I was so preoccupied with wanting to help other people that I wasn’t thinking about how I too needed help. Through the care of my friends, God helped me to see my arrogance. And though I shouldn’t neglect serving others, I ought to come into fellowship also assuming my need of help from them.

Another important lesson I learned at the PC had to do with how I handle God’s Word, especially its interpretation. One thing I remember Jeff Purswell always hammering away at was something called “authorial intent.” The idea behind it is the closer we can understand the original author’s original intent, the truer our interpretation of the passage will be. Or, another way to say it, is the closer we get to the intention of the little “a” author (e.g. Paul), the closer we’ll get to the intention of the big “A” Author (God). The profundity of this principle is not so much in the saying of it, but in the doing of it. This is where the hard work of Scripture study comes in. So Jeff had us practicing at this week after week, with passage after passage, in class after class.

Jace, thank you for taking the time to answer these questions.
We thank God for you and your family, and we are thrilled to have you with us here at Covenant Fellowship!

By Rob Flood

 

When we are the center of someone else’s fun, it can cause us to hearken back to junior high school or our freshmen year of high school.  We are trained to dislike when others laugh at us.  But what if the “mockers” genuinely love us?  What if the fun they have with us is because of how much they love us?

 

We have to face it…there are funny things about us.  We are quirky.  And we are quirky in varying ways.  One of the healthiest things we can do is develop the skill of laughing at ourselves.  To deny that we are quirky and have eccentricities that others find funny is really to deny what is plainly obvious to everyone else.

 

Just think about those people around you.  If given the opportunity, you could celebrate their quirkiness with much laughter.  If they all have quirks, then you do, too.

 

In many ways, CJ Mahaney models what a life lived for God ought to look like.  And this area is one of his finest.  When those who love him celebrate his quirkiness, no one laughs harder at CJ than CJ.  At a recent Resolved conference, Jonathan Rourke did an extended and outstanding impression of CJ.  If you know CJ at all, you know that this guy is good.

 

While you are enjoying the impression, be sure to note who is laughing the hardest in the video.  Let’s follow in his example. (Thanks for the Girl Talk blog for bringing this to our attention.)

  

By Rob Flood

It was hopeless.  Surrounded by heavy darkness, no shred of light to be found.  The picture was bleak.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked…(Ephesians 2:1-2a)

Our trespasses and sins cause death.  The abundance of our sins, the depth of our trespasses, don’t just block out the light; they create death.  But are we truly that bad?  Surely, there must be some good in us…some good in our efforts.

…following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience…(Ephesians 2b)

Following the prince of the power of the air? When did I do that?  Is it possible that all the while that I wanted to do good, I was merely following the evil one?  Could it be that the darkness and death of my sin so blinded me that what I thought was right was really all wrong?

Hopelessness evolves into judgment.  Death into outer darkness.  But at least that’s as bad as it gets.

...among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. (Ephesians 2:3)

No…it’s worse.  It’s not just death.  It’s not just darkness.  It’s not just judgment.  It is wrath.  Wrath from a holy God directed at me…a child of wrath.  My trespasses and sins are so numerous, the wrath stored up for me must be immeasurable.  The thought of it causes me to fear.  Not fear death…that part is settled.  But fear how awful it must be to die under the wrath of God.

Every effort I make to escape the inevitable digs me deeper into this pit.  I claw for a handhold.  I scramble for a foothold.  There are none.  I am trapped without hope for escape and without hope for rescue.  Is there really no way out of this? 

But God…(Ephesians 2:4a)

“BUT” God?  What could that mean?  …”BUT” God.  Surely, as a child of wrath, it should say, “AND” God!  And God judged.  And God was angry.  And God, being full of rage, cast down judgment on the wicked sinner.  But it doesn’t say “AND”…it says “BUT.”  What could this mean?

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us…(Ephesians 4)

This holy God who has stored up wrath is rich in mercy?  Wait…he loves us with a great love?  Could he have forgotten my many trespasses and sins?

…even when we were dead in our trespasses…(Ephesians 2:5a)

No…he remembers.  He must remember because that is the stage for his mercy.  Only a God who is rich in mercy, who remembers all my sins, could love me with a great love. 

Hope begins to enter my heart.  I see a glimmer of light from far overhead.  In an vain attempt, I search for a handhold.  I step for a foothold.  There are none to be had.  Is this all a joke?  Some form of divine sarcasm.  Am I being tormented with hope only to receive his wrath anyway?  I allowed myself to think that God was merciful enough to provide a way to climb out of this pit.  There is still no way out!

…made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:5b-7)

Wait…I feel something.  It’s not a handhold or a foothold.  No.  I feel someone lifting me.  The light is getting brighter.  I’m getting out of here.  God is not providing an escape route…he’s providing a rescue.  I’m not climbing out of this myself…I’m being delivered.

I see.  I get it!  God is making me alive in Christ.  He is saving my by grace.  He is raising me up with him and he is seating me in the heavenly places.  He has completely spent his wrath for my many sins.  But where?  Where did it all go?  Oh my…he poured it out on Christ.  What did he do?  I’m the one who sinned!  He didn’t do anything.

He took it for me.  He took it to rescue me.  He had to do it.  It had to be him.  My efforts only worsened my condition.  His work delivers me out of it.  This is incredible.  Incredible love!  Incredible mercy!  Incredible.  Just incredible!

May we never forget that the heart of the mission is rescue.  We’ve been rescued.  We share the deliverer with others. He rescues them. 

By grace we have been saved!

By Rob Flood

As creatures, we don’t get to determine the moments we face…just how we face them.  And so often, how we face them is not a decision we make in the moment but a response to how we’ve sown into our lives ahead of those moments.  These “divine appointments” become a stage for the training ground we’ve been on.

As men, we are called to face each moment that comes as godly men.  Some of us will be called to heroism: bravery in warfare, saving others from violence.  Some of us will be called to godliness in our manhood in far less spectacular ways: offering our umbrella during a storm or a coat in the cold weather.  Remember, we don’t get to determine the moments we face…just how we face them.

One member of our church, Adam Sacks, was presented with one of those moments recently in the airport.  While waiting on standby with many other passengers, he discovered a mother with two young children also waiting on standby.  It was quite late in the evening, yet her day began on the west coast at 6 a.m.  Needless to say, she was fatigued and those poor kids were wiped out.  Adam took some action.  The following is from an account written by his wife, Bethany:

After pleading her case with gate agents and pilots, Adam got the fuel of the Holy Spirit and thwarted the boarding process.  He boldly asked for the attention of every passenger in the area waiting to board.  He said with reckless abandon, "Norfolk passengers, may I please get your attention, this woman has been traveling since this morning and if she doesn't get on this flight she will spend the night with her children in the airport--will someone please join me and give up their seat so that she can go home and prove chivalry is not dead?!”  

Now, let’s keep some perspective.  Adam wasn’t going to change the world nor was he on some battlefield in warfare.  He wasn’t running the risk of being the main character in any Marvel comic books.  It was just a moment.  One that he decided to face with godly character.

While many men were inspired by his call to action…none stepped forward.  He was offering his seat but she needed two seats, not just one.  Making one more appeal, he proclaimed:

"Someone has to be more flexible then a woman with two small children.  Please help her!”

A voice came from the back of the crowd saying, “I will do it.”  It was a Christian woman.  Adam’s call for the men to prove chivalry was not dead was answered by a woman who had sown to her own character so she could face whatever moments Providence presented to her.

These two saints watched the other passengers board the plane while they stayed in the terminal.  But they also got to see the mother with her two children board the plane and enjoyed the sweetness of the Lord’s smile at their sacrificial, but ever so small, act of godliness.

Is there a moral to this story?  A couple.  First, no one is looking to put a cape around Adam’s neck.  What he did was admirable but what he did was small.  It was a passing moment that he decided to face with the love of Christ.  Second, and more importantly, whether we are called to the excitement of heroism or the dullness of the ordinary, we are called to face it like godly men.  Perhaps you get rear-ended in your neighborhood or you get overcharged at the mechanic.  Perhaps you get the wrong topping on your pizza or the Wawa deli counter put onions on your Italian hoagie.  Or maybe you find yourself in a devastatingly serious situation that requires real, abiding faith in Christ.  In any and all of these cases, we are called to be godly men.

We don’t get to determine the moments we face…just how we face them.  May we be men in this church that increasingly sow to our godly manhood.  Then, whatever Providence may present…we’ll be prepared to face it as men.  Men who love God.  And men who love others more than we love ourselves.  Then, for each of us, every moment can be a moment of godly masculinity.

By Rob Flood

Have you ever wished you had a time eraser?  I mean the type of eraser that allows you to delete the last couple of minutes…or weeks…or months.  Perhaps you’ve just said something you wish you could take back.  Or maybe your attitude has been a bit abrasive recently and you regret the impact that has had on those around you.

Well, recently I’ve been trapped in a proud season.  It has most certainly not a season to be proud of.  The particulars are of little consequence.  Suffice it to say I have been very aware of myself.  And this epidemic self-awareness has stretched from my attitude here at church to my attitude in my home.  The value of a conversation or situation rose and fell with how it affected me.  

While the particulars are of little consequence, the influence it has had on my soul is of great consequence.  My joy was gone and my peace was tapped.  You’d think that I’d realize the influence and come to my senses, but I was far too blinded by my sin for that.  The problem was not my self-awareness…it was those around me.  A time eraser would have been nice.

The Proverbs tells us:

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

My wife, Gina, derived faith from this verse and met me in conversation about my heart.  With love, gentleness, and humility, she spoke directly from Jeremiah 17.  She wasn’t quite sure what was going on in my heart, but she recognized the man she’s married to in the description of the shrub in the desert.

He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
   in an uninhabited salt land.

She saw a man whose soul was parched and did not see any good come.  Then, she saw the description of the tree planted by water.

He is like a tree planted by water,
   that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
   for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
   for it does not cease to bear fruit."

And she gently asked…she fitly asked…if the problem might be where I was placing my trust.  You see, the shrub in the desert “trusts in man and makes flesh his strength.”  The tree planted by water “trusts in the LORD, his trust is the LORD.”

For the tree, it was the best of times.  For the shrub, it was the worst of times. But a closer reading reveals that the conditions around them were the same…drought and heat.  The difference was their trust.  The Lord provided strength and nourishment.  The flesh can produce none.

Through this word “fitly spoken,” God has continued to reveal my sin…and his wonderful, refreshing, nourishing grace. 

As spouses, we have a front row seat to the activity of God in each other’s lives.  We also have a front row seat to each other’s sin.  If we could speak in humility, yet in truth, into each other’s lives, we could be the greatest source of encouragement where we see God acting.  We could be the kindest voice of correction where we see the flesh acting.  Our marriages,  our lives, our homes would magnify the greatness of God in magnificent ways.

I am blessed to have an ally in the fight against my sin and the fight for faith.  May I…may we…seek to be allies and not adversaries in our homes and marriages.  And may we be faithful and full of faith in the best of times and the worst of times.

By Jared Mellinger

 

I am a fan of Project Olney.  Which probably raises the question, “What is Project Olney?”  I’m glad you asked. 

 

Project Olney is something my friend Jason McGovern has been working on for a while.  Jason is a member of Covenant Fellowship who started this project while he was at Drexel.  He is a gifted musician.  Jason’s passion is to honor and praise Jesus Christ through music.   

 

Here is the project described in his own words:

 

Project Olney is an attempt to trek through John Newton’s Olney Hymns one hymn at a time. I hoped and still hope that it will be a project that will both serve others and refresh my own soul with the scriptural truths presented in the hymns.

Since first being introduced to this work, I have grown to love the Olney Hymns. I’ve become amazed at how John Newton, the former slave-ship captain and author of “Amazing Grace”, used the creation of the hymnal for two purposes. The first was to serve his congregation at Olney with the hymns. The second was help William Cowper, a close friend and congregant, battle through his severe bouts of depression. Newton’s care for both his congregation and Cowper shines through this work.

Many Christians are unfamiliar with Newton’s work beyond a few of his most famous hymns.  Olney Hymns is a goldmine for those who love the Bible, music, and hymns.

 

Jason just recently put out a CD called “For Cowper”.  It contains “Ten songs from the pen of William Cowper”.  Again, from the website:

On the surface, William Cowper’s life can be seen as tragic. After suffering through a traumatic childhood, he endured bouts of depression and severe mental anguish, attempting suicide on multiple occasions and becoming institutionalized. Yet even in this desperate state, Cowper was not beyond the reach of God’s grace.

His salvation did not, however, end his suffering, and he still endured long periods of deep depression. He eventually moved to Olney and came under the care of John Newton, a former slave-ship captain and writer of the beloved hymn “Amazing Grace”. Under Newton’s care, Cowper wrote a number of hymns that were published in the Olney Hymns, which Newton compiled and co-wrote.

Cowper was not limited to hymn writing, and was well regarded for his poetry and his translations of Homer’s works. Yet outside of literature circles it seems that his hymns like “There Is a Fountain Filled with Blood” and “God Moves in a Mysterious Way” have had the most lasting impact. Even through his lifelong affliction, Cowper provided us with beautiful glimpses of the gracious and merciful God that brought him from darkness—the same God who rescues us from darkness when we call on the name of Jesus Christ.

I thank God for Jason and the work he is doing, and I commend his new CD to you.  If you are interested in more information on Project Olney, or listening to some samples of Jason’s work, go to www.thedescribers.com. 

 

And, thank God for gifted musicians in the church, with the ambition for projects like this!  May his number increase.    

By Rob Flood

Fitting reading into my schedule remains a regular challenge for me.  But it is not because I have a busier schedule than those who read regularly.  It is because they have prioritized it as a necessary discipline and I have not.  And they are better for it.

As a church, we have set aside a portion of our building to honor the place that books should hold in our lives.  As a team of pastors, we seek to fill that book shoppe with solid, helpful, gospel-centered material.  When appropriate and helpful, we recommend certain books to coordinate with sermon series that we’re doing.

We do all of this for one reason: we are better off when we read.  Reading is a means of grace in our lives.  Reading engages our minds, challenges our hearts, and keeps our convictions in check.  Reading fuels our learning and creates a hunger for more.  Many would attest to the fact that reading has changed their lives.

To that end, Jared posted earlier this year on books every Christian should read.  Here is a link to that post:

http://www.covfel.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=52015&articleId=13174

Meghan Mellinger has written a blog speaking directly to women on the same subject:

 

http://www.covfel.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=52015&articleId=14162

Also, CJ Mahaney has helpfully and interestingly posted on reading throughout his blog posts.  In fact, under the heading of “Reading,” he has posted 33 separate posts.  Here is a link to the category for your perusal:

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/category/Reading.aspx

Join me in seeking to reprioritize our lives so that reading gains its rightful place in the priorities that find their way…regularly and routinely…into our schedules.

By Rob Flood

Note:   On Fathers Day, June 20^th, the pastors set aside time to pray for the fathers of our church.  We are aware of the calling on fathers and the responsibility they have before God, and we are aware of some of the temptations that accompany that calling.  We respect the men of this church and how they embrace that calling in their families.  Below is the prayer that I prayed.  We, as a Pastoral Team, pray that God would meet you personally and specifically in your greatest weaknesses…displaying his greatest strength.

God, you are worthy.  You are worthy forever and ever and ever more.  As one small portion of the multitude, today, Lord, we bow before your throne and declare that you are worthy!

And before you, oh Worthy God, we ask that your favor would be on each father who is here today.  You tell us to ask, and it shall be given to us.  And so, Worthy God, we ask that you bless the fathers.

Bless us, Lord, with conviction.  Conviction for what you’ve called us to.  Conviction for the lives we lead when no one is around.  When no eye can see us, give us conviction to live for your eyes alone.  Conviction, Lord, to lead in our homes.  Under you, Oh God, that burden is easy and that yoke is light.  Give us clear conviction on what you’ve called us to.

Father, give us conviction to love our children when times are difficult: to love them as gifts from our heavenly Father, to love them not according to the circumstances, but through them.  Give us conviction Lord, that this task is beyond us if we are not abiding in you.  Prick our hearts, Oh God, when we become independent or fleshly, that we would return to the true vine and abide in you as we parent our children.

Then, Father, give us courage.  When we know what is right to do, give us the courage to do it.  When our convictions are unpopular, give us courage to do them anyway.  Cause our hearts to trust in the same God that called Joshua to courage, when you said, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”  You have called us to fatherhood, God.  You will go with us.  Give us the courage to trust in your promise.

Lastly, Father, give us faith.  Faith that fuels our conviction.  Faith that fuels our courage.  Faith that we are not left to our own strength, our own wisdom, our own devices as we father.  But faith that you, God, go with us!  And that you open the storehouses of heaven for your children as we walk with you.  Open those storehouses for our children.  Faith that leads to peace and not anxiety.  Faith that you will not just meet us…but meet our children.  When we cannot see the fruit of our labors, God increase our faith in you. 

Give us abundant faith in the one, true God…who is worthy to be praised forevermore.

By Rob Flood

 

Once upon a time, when kings and kingdoms were as common as minivans, it was well understood that everyone bowed and kneeled when a king entered the room.  It was more than customary…it was appropriate.  And it didn’t matter which king it was.  If one king passed and another took the throne, the people didn’t stop bowing.  They bowed because of the position of the king.

 

This is not entirely foreign to our thinking.  When a bride enters the room, it is customary that we stand.  When a superior officer enters our presence, we salute.  Not because we like him or dislike him, but because of who he is.  Who he is determines our response. 

 

Have you ever wondered how we ought to respond when meditating or worshipping God?  The wonderful hymn, Praise to the Lord,  directs us in how we ought to treasure God.  It gives us specific instruction on what to do and how to do it when we come before him. And, in seeing its example, it affords us the opportunity to examine our current responses as compared to those we are called to.  Here are some selected verses:
 

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near;
Praise Him in glad adoration.  

Someone who is treasuring God is drawing near to him and singing his praises.

Praise to the Lord, Who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how thy desires ever have been
Granted in what He ordaineth? 

When we are treasuring, we are aware of the many times we have been protected and sustained.  We are thankful for a God who grants our desires in all he ordains.

Praise to the Lord, Who doth prosper thy work and defend thee;
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee.
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do,
If with His love He befriend thee. 

Our thoughts of what God is capable of lead us to treasuring.  In all things his mercy and goodness are with us.

 

Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him. 

The great call to all Christians:  come and praise!!

 

Let the Amen sound from His people again,
Gladly for yea we adore Him. 

All of this praise, all of this awe, all of this greatness ought to lead us to exuberance.  God’s people ought to be bursting at the seams with adulation for God. 

With all our God is capable of…with all our God has done…with all our God has promised to do, the “Amen” ought to ever be on our lips.  Our joy to come before him should be audible in worship on Sundays.  How could such a blessed people do anything other than throw all they are and all they have into their singing of praise to God?  As a church that seeks to treasure the God of the gospel, may the jubilant, exuberant, explosive “AMEN” ever be on our lips.  And may our response rise to reflect the greatness of our God.

 

By Rob Flood

Is there an area in your marriage that regularly leads to discomfort?  I don’t mean outright conflict.  I mean the area that brings a little pit in your stomach every time it comes up.  You’ve had more than ample conversation there but had less than desirable results.  Life can go on without harmony there, but a sense of uneasiness seems to lurk just below the surface.

There is a fork in the road before us all.  And it faces us each day.  We’re walking along and, bang, out of nowhere something happens that we didn’t expect.  …or we didn’t want.  …or we wish would go away.  Perhaps it’s a conflict with your spouse.  Or perhaps it’s a financial situation.  Or maybe it’s even a problem you as a couple are having with another family or couple.

The fork forces you to decide where you are going to place your trust.  And it only offers you one of two paths:  trusting in God or trusting in anything else.  Consider Jeremiah 17:5-8.

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
   and makes flesh his strength,
   whose heart turns away from the LORD.
⁶ He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
   in an uninhabited salt land.

 ⁷ "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
    whose trust is the LORD.
⁸ He is like a tree planted by water,
   that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
   for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
   for it does not cease to bear fruit."

From the vantage point of your computer screen right now, as you read this blog, the choice seems easy and clear.  But you are likely not facing the fork right now as you read this blog.  When you are actually standing at the fork of deciding where you will place your trust, there is typically a dense fog.  It not only clouds your vision but your thinking.  In those conditions, it is all too simple to place our trust in anything other than God.

We can trust our communication skills or our spouse’s communication skills.  We can presume on relationship and choose to do nothing at all…trusting in a forgetful mind.  We can trust in others fearing our anger or in others having sympathy at our tears.  We can trust our efforts, our cleverness, or our humor.  We trust in these things because they’ve worked before…or at least they’ve appeared to work before.  But let me ask you this question:  How’s the tree?

No matter how foggy or confused the fork gets, the results are always seen in the shrub or the tree.  The show up there because a parched, drought season always comes to test our trust.  If you find that the tree of hope and faith is a bit brittle and parched, turn around and check if you made the wrong decision at the fork.  It is the parched shrub that has placed its trust in man and flesh…and hope cannot blossom or flourish.

If you find, on the other hand, that the leaves are still green and the tree is hearty, when you turn around you’ll see that your trust is likely in God.  When our trust is in the Lord, we do not cease to bear fruit…even in drought.

The object of our trust determines the health of our hope.  Two couples, standing at the fork, may have the same decision before them, but their need for hope has not yet arisen.  It is only down the road, when hope really matters, when we see the real effect of the choice we made at the fork.

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man.”  “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord.”  When we trust, we sow to hope.  And there is only one source for that.  As Proverbs 3:5-6 aptly captures:

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
   and do not lean on your own understanding.
⁶In all your ways acknowledge him,
   and he will make straight your paths.

By Rob Flood

Rich or poor, we are all allotted equal doses of time.  For each of us, we have 168 hours a week to spend.  That works out to 10,080 minutes.  There is no favoritism…no ways to earn more or deals to make that give us less.  We all stand on equal footing.  It seems like a lot, no?  No!

Remove about a third of them for sleep and you have about 112 hours left.  Take away about another 22 hours for eating and you’ve got just under 13 hours each day left.  Now, factor in driving to work, work, and driving home from work.  Add to that church events and Community Group.  Add to that baseball practice and dance lessons…you see where I’m going.  Time is precious and there are many, many things in our lives begging for more.  Yet, just like dollars, we have a limited supply.  And unlike dollars, we can’t even run into debt on our time.  There is a hard stop at 168 hours a week.

Our limit on time can lead to a common but devastating trap in marriage.  Because time is so short, we can presume upon our marriage relationship and give our time elsewhere.  We think, “she’ll understand” or “he knows I love him.”  Before we know it, if we’re not careful, we’ve spent all 168 hours on events and people beyond our spouse.  Or, perhaps a bit more realistically, all of the time we’ve given our spouse has been “business” and not “personal.”  It has been to handle the goings on of life and not enjoyment and care for our relationship. 

Just as a checkbook reveals how we prioritize the use of our money, our schedules reveal how we prioritize the use of our time.  And when time spent does not reflect priorities valued, we know we are presuming upon something.

Gentlemen, our wives are worthy of dedicated time.  Time set aside for no other reason than we prioritize what is important to them and we seek to nurture our relationship with them.

Ladies, your husbands are worthy of dedicated time.  Time set aside to enrich your relationship.

One of the greatest threats to time as a couple is the time necessary for children.  With the raising of children, it seems there is never enough time for marriage.  It has been said many times, but never too many, that the greatest gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage to your spouse. 

Is this a call to date night?  Not necessarily.  It is possible to have a regular date night and focus only on the business of life.  It is also possible to not have a regular date night and still dedicate meaningful time to each other.  Date night is a good practice and a reasonable place to apply this, but is not necessarily the same thing.

Here are some questions to help you evaluate if your time has been invested toward each other and for each other:

• Do you have a good sense of how well or poorly your spouse is doing?
• If you chose to eliminate conversation about the house and the kids, would conversation still come easily?
• If your spouse never initiated conversation, would you be inclined to talk?
• Do you currently feel closer or more distant from your spouse than a year ago?

While many factors can contribute to the level of closeness couples feel, it is nearly impossible to be close if you are not sharing your lives together.  And that is only possible if you are making the difficult choices of spending precious, precious time on each other.

 

By Jared Mellinger

 

Editors Note:  This was recently posted on a Mission Friday. In light of the announcements yesterday, we wanted to run this again for you to utilize as you seek to glean all you can from our website…and use the resources to reach others. 

 

When we think of the mission of the gospel, we often think of using tools such as tracts or even drink giveaways.  We can think of car washes and guest Sundays.  These are all good and useful and ought to be utilized for the glory of God.  But do you ever think of our website?

 

Our website is chock full of tools that can be used for helping others, encouraging others, even leading others to Christ.  Here’s a quick overview:

 

• VIDEO – Each week, normally on Thursday, a video clip of Sunday’s message gets posted on our website.  It often captures a compelling point from the message.  These can be very useful in posting on personal blogs, Facebook pages, etc.  Additionally, the urls can be sent to friends you’ve been witnessing to or even to souls who you know to be struggling in those specific areas.
• SERMON ARCHIVES – The audio of each our Sunday messages is available going all the way back to 2008.  Wow!  What a resource!  Considering the amount of Scripture that has been covered in that period of time, along with the amount of topics that have been addressed, this is food from the Word for folks to ingest.  Again, links can be posted on blogs or Facebook, emailed, or converted into CDs to be handed out.
• CHURCH-WIDE BLOG – Every Monday through Friday, a new blog entry is posted.  Mondays feature a word from our Senior Pastor.  Tuesdays feature something specifically intended for the ladies.  Wednesdays feature either marriage or parenting help / encouragement, Thursdays feature something specifically intended for the guys.  And Fridays, like this one, are intended either to help you in the mission or inform you of things related to the mission.  Short to read…easy to recommend.
• ACTS BLOG – Jared is regularly posting entries on this series-specific blog.  This may be further thoughts on something from the message or information / quotes that never made it to the final message on Sunday.  Definitely worth checking regularly.
• NON-SUNDAY AUDIO – There is much teaching available on our site.  Venues include those in Family and Married Life such as our recent Married Couples Meetings.  They also include Youth and Cross Culture, Singles and College meetings, and discipleship courses such as Grow and Vital Life.
• OUTREACH – There are resources and information available for our many outreach venues and materials.  If you have a heart for the lost and for evangelism, there is plenty there for you.
• COVENANT MERCIES – A heart for the poor?  …for the orphan?  Covenant Mercies can help out.  Regular Friday blog contributors Doug Hayes and David Mayinja busily and effectively serve orphans throughout several nations in Africa.  You can learn of the ministry, find things to pray for, and ways to participate through the website.

 

And these are just some of the tools openly at your disposal as you consider your own soul and the souls of those in your neighborhoods, your families, and your places of work.  And none of them cost you a dime.  The are possible because of generous giving, but free for the user.  No risk…lots of value.  Now, those are some effective mission tools at our WEBSITE!

By Rob Flood

As a church, we exist to treasure, proclaim, and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  We all agree with that.  We rally around the truths contained in that sentence.  Each element of that sentence has its own particular expressions in our church.  But, as we carry out our mission together, are we aware of what feeds and supports and defines what it means to treasure, proclaim, and grow?

The regular preaching of God’s Word is both fiber and fuel of the muscles of mission.  It is fiber in that it provides the substance and material of the muscle.  It is fuel in that the Spirit flows through our mission like blood and adrenaline through the muscle.  He gives the mission, defines the mission, and enables the mission.  And he does this most commonly and powerfully through the preaching of his Word.

Some churches have set aside proclaiming the Word for the sake of mission.  It isn’t friendly enough to guests.  Or, it isolates the church from the community.  Isn’t that time better spent sharing the gospel rather than sitting in front of a long, Christian speech?  If we remove the preached Word, how, then, will we treasure, proclaim, and grow in the truth?  By removing it, we strip our mission of muscle.  By removing it, we leave ourselves passionately sold out to a shell of a mission that will end up with little substance.

When the preached Word is central to our worship, we are more aware of the glorious truths of the gospel that we treasure.  We know God to greater depths.  We see his blessings in greater breadths.  His holiness seems higher.  His mercy greater.  His love richer.

When the preached Word is central to our worship, we see the vast hopelessness of the lost and we are driven, through truth, to proclaim.  Our fear of man is diminished in light of the truth of eternal judgment.  Our compassion is greater for their condition.  Our patience is greater when seeing or suffering from their sin. 

When the preached Word is central to our worship, we understand and appreciate what it means to walk with the Lord and we grow in the gospel of grace.  We grow more into Christ’s likeness as we know more of Christ.  We grow in grace as we experience the grace and love of God’s commitment to his children. 

As a church, we are strengthened in our mission through our commitment to the preached Word.  And, as a church, our mission is furthered as we commit to purposeful listening to the preached Word.  We come to church, not to endure the message but be transformed by it.  We sit under preaching not to pay our dues but to hear from God. 

The preaching principle is not simply a commitment to preaching, but a commitment to subject ourselves to the truth and power contained in the preached Word.  As a church, we ought not be satisfied that we set aside time each Sunday for preaching.  Our joy, our satisfaction in preaching ought only be achieved when we have placed ourselves under that preaching.  When it has had its intended effect on our souls. 

We must never pit preaching against mission and we must never allow a devotion to mission to pull us from a devotion to preaching.  On the contrary, if we are serious about mission…we will be ever more serious about preaching.  And thankful for it.

By Rob Flood

School is coming to an end and the summer awaits.  Without school, much of their daily schedule has become open.  How ought we fill that during a summer?  The answers to that question are endless and varied according to each family.  Here are just a few ideas on constructive and fun uses of time this summer:

• Relational Education:  Without the math books crying for our attention, there is opportunity to work more purposefully on relationships in the family.  A book like The Young Peacemaker is a great place to start.  But even in the absence of an actual curriculum, seizing opportunities to work on the relationships in your home can pay dividends for years.
  
  
• Elective Education:  Sometimes, the rigors of required classes don’t afford families the opportunity to pursue topics of personal interest…individually or as a group.  Perhaps your child has a fascination with the weather or with a specific animal.  Or, perhaps there is a skill he or she has wanted to learn.  The summer provides wonderful opportunities for learning that will come more naturally and be more fun.
  
  
• Home Projects:  Even younger children can often handle an exciting project like painting their own room.  If you have lots of newspaper and drop cloths, involving older toddlers can still be a wonderful use of summer time. 
  
  
• Bible Study:  The summer also provides a great break from normal work flow and allows children (even parents) to pursue a biblical topic or Christian book they’ve wanted to know more about.  Maybe it’s a certain book of the Bible, or a person from the Bible.  Or perhaps it is a topic from church history or a specific doctrine.  After some reading and research, sharing these things with the rest of the family can involve everyone in what each person is learning.
  
  
• Fun:  Perhaps more than any other time of the year, summer provides a break from pressure and deadlines and allows for free fun.  Consider saying yes to more spontaneous ideas that the children come up with.  They may want to do an unplanned bike ride or park visit.  They may want to bake cookies or paint clay.  There are less reasons during the summer to say no…which means there are more reasons during the summer to say yes.

School is coming to an end and summer awaits.  How will you spend your summer?   Consider filling it with planned fun…and spontaneous fun.  And remember that the extra time summer affords gives wonderful time for spiritual conversation.  Your children have spiritual thoughts…conversation can help you discover them.  Even in the heat of summer.

By Rob Flood

Editor’s Note: Jared is away this weekend at NEXT and will return next week.  Rob is filling in this week.

If you’ve ever read the Puritans, you’ve learned that they are relentless for genuine Christianity.  Their desire was to live completely and always before the eyes of God…and to exhort others to do the same.  Thomas Watson was no different.  Once, when addressing the pretence of godliness (showing godliness without actually being godly) he wrote:

Will painted gold enrich a man?  Will painted wine refresh him who is thirsty?  Will the paint of godliness stand you in any stead?  How were the foolish virgins better for their ‘blazing lamps’, when they had no oil?  What is the lamp of profession without the oil of grace?  He who has only  painted holiness shall have a painted happiness. (The Godly Man’s Picture, p. 17)

Painted gold only comforts a man if he is willing to entrust his soul to a lie.  No wise man would give a dime for it.  And yet, we can be tempted to settle for it.  We can settle for our smiles on Sundays and the approving faces we see that affirm the beauty of our painted gold.  Yet, from Monday to Saturday, find no comfort because we are not actually abiding in the Comforter.

How much better, then, is real gold…real holiness.  When our holiness is real is has the strength to bear with trials.  When our affections for God are real they withstand times when God’s nearness is difficult to discern.  When our hearts are supple flesh, they remain tender when the tempter means to harden them toward God.  Real holiness can experience a desert and never long for Egypt. 

Painted holiness gripes at the provision of manna and quail and longs for the coolness of the shadows of the pyramids.  It is not simply dependent upon happy circumstances, but upon the “right” happy circumstances.  This is why Watson declares that he who has only painted holiness shall have a painted happiness.  The result of painted holiness is as useless as painted gold.

How do we guard ourselves against settling for painted gold?

• Relentless honesty before God – Live completely and always before the eyes of God and allow the light of his holiness to reveal whatever it may.
• Healthy self-suspicion – Are you capable of settling for painted holiness?  Yes…more than you are aware.  Accept that truth and allow it to draw you to your knees…near the cross.
• Consistent fellowship – Living our lives with others is a wonderful protection against the trap of painted gold.  Others will tell us what we ourselves cannot see.  True grace-filled fellowship is a great asset for those who want to live honestly before God.

We’ll allow Watson to articulate the motivation for this pursuit:

Beg of Christ to exercise his spiritual surgery upon you.  Desire him to lance your heart and cut out the rotten flesh, and that he would apply the medicine of his blood to heal you of your hypocrisy.  Say that prayer of David often: ‘Let my heart be sound in thy statutes’ (Psa. 119:80). ‘Lord, let me be anything rather than a hypocrite.’ Two hearts will exclude from one heaven.  (The Godly Man’s Picture, p. 19)

Painted gold is pretty.  True gold is lasting.  And if painted holiness leads to painted happiness, then true holiness leads to true happiness.  And this abiding happiness provides great rest for God’s children.

By Rob Flood

We can sometimes feel like we have the world standing against us.  Like we are the only ones who feel the way we feel, believe the way we believe, or follow God the way we follow God.  The rip current of the world can be so strong that we tire of standing our ground.  In our fatigue and discouragement, we reason why giving in is not so bad.  We deaden the convictions we once had and we surrender to the pull of the world.  Indeed, what can be accomplished with just one person standing strong?

Enter Martin Luther.

When standing before the Holy Roman Emperor and a council gathered to assure his silence…when standing against the whole world…one man took a stand. He was asked to retract all of his writings…writings that revealed the gospel to thousands for the first time.  His response was not complicated, but should have caused his death.

I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God.  I cannot and I will not retract anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience.  I cannot do otherwise, here I stand, may God help me, Amen.

“Here I stand.”  Entrusting his next breath to the very God, Luther stood on the very gospel that saved him.  “Here I stand.”  No pressure from earthly powers…no threat of torture or hell…will move me from the God who saved me.  “I cannot do otherwise, here I stand.”  The courage of 1,000 men contained in the childlike devotion of a redeemed sinner.

What can be accomplished with just one person standing strong?  Covenant Fellowship Church stands in the confidence of the gospel because one man, compelled by faith, had the courage to pull the gospel out of the wreckage of tradition and shrouds of religion.  He put his life on the line to make the good news of Christ known.  One man, standing strong on the gospel, lit a fire that burns 500 years later.

Luther was just one man.  He was just one man in a chain of saints…each standing strong on the gospel…each compelled by their conscience before God to do no other than to stand.

There are stories of such men and women in this church.  At the threat of great cost and with nothing but the promises of God to stand on…still they stand.  Our church is stronger because of them.  Our faith is bolstered because others stood on the gospel.

Sometimes, we feel like we have the world against us.  Perhaps it’s at work, or at home, or in our extended families, or even in the shadows of our own hearts.  What can be accomplished with just one person standing strong?  A revolution.  A revival.  A reformation.

Where will you stand?

By Rob Flood

We have all types of relationships in our lives:  family relationships, work relationships, friendships, neighbors.  We interact with each in its own particular way based upon how we perceive the person.  Is this person helpful to my walk or harmful?  Is this a person I’m trying to reach for Christ?  Do I lead this person or am I called to follow this person?  The answers to these questions often determine the type of relationship we have with them. 

But what of sin?  What is my relationship with sin supposed to look like?  How should I view it and how should I treat it?  Thomas Watson helps us here in his wonderful book, The Godly Man’s Picture:

There is as much difference between sin in the wicked and the godly as between poison being in a serpent and in a man.  Poison in a serpent is in its natural place and is delightful, but poison in a man’s body is offensive and he uses antidotes to expel it.  So sin in a wicked man is delightful, being in its natural place, but sin in a child of God is burdensome and he uses all means to expel it. (p. 146)

This potent picture begs a couple of questions:

1. What do you actively do to expel the poison of sin from your life?  If you were bitten by a poisonous snake, you would suddenly be open to drastic action.  Any and all options are on the table because your very life is at risk.  Do you take that approach to your sin?  Are you willing to consider radical steps to expel the poison from your life?
2. Are there sins that are in their natural place in you…delightful to you?  The child of God is burdened by the presence of sin in him.  When he is not…the heart is numb.  Are there areas where sin feels quite delightful to your soul?  …where no antidote is used because you have no desire to expel it?  There will undoubtedly be areas of sin where we struggle to have victory, but are there areas of sin that you hope God never gets to?  If so, it is at home in you…and doing its poisonous work in you.

Watson goes on to exhort the reader to identify the predominant sin that resides within.  He helps us identify it:

He who is in love with a person cannot keep his thoughts off the object.  Examine what sin runs most in your mind, what sin is first in your thoughts and greets you in the morning—that is the predominant sin. (pp. 148-149)

Once identified, we’re encouraged to “parley with sin no longer, but with the spear of mortification, spill the heart blood of every sin.” (p. 153)  That is drastic.  But, spilling the heart blood of every sin is in keeping with the seriousness of poison in a man.  It must come out with a vengeance and must come out now.

He leaves us, though, with an encouragement of grace:  “Grace and sin may be together, but grace and the love of sin cannot.”  We will struggle with sin…that is expected.  But we ought to be hating it…not loving it.  Though sin be in us, it may never be in its natural place in us.

What is our relationship with sin?  Mortal enemies.  Spill the heart blood of every sin.  This is the goal of the children of God.

By Rob Flood

There is one practice that has been a regular source of blessing for us as a married couple that I would like to propose you consider:  building friendships with single men and women.

So much of our lives can be consumed with the daily goings on…our daily, weekly, annual routines.  If you have children, you know that often their schedules can dominate the calendar and dictate friendships you build.  Even many of our Community Groups are built around stage of life.  This is good…we need friends that are in our stage of life.

But there are blessings awaiting you as you build friendships outside of your stage of life, too.  I’ve taken a very informal poll of some of the singles we’ve been privileged to get to know.  (All that means is I asked a question over email and they were kind enough to reply.) I simply asked them what they saw as blessings of “mixing it up” and building friendships with married folk.  Here is some of what they said: (anonymously, of course.)

• I enjoy learning from someone who is in a different season than I am and being able to learn from what they walk through.
• It gives me an opportunity to see the struggles of marriage, and pop the bubble that marriage equals happiness.
• It protects me from just living life alone.  I’m part of something bigger when I relate to families.
• It helps to unify the church, by having two groups of people do life together who can often be segregated.  That says something very significant about the community and Christ.

We have found, as a couple and as a family, that we are richer because of our relationships with singles such as these.  Our children look forward to their visits.  One of the very ironic discoveries I’ve made is how often the blessings are similar.  Here’s what I mean:

• We enjoy learning from someone who is in a different season of life:  Relating with singles gets me out of my hyper-self-awareness and gets me thinking about people beyond my stage of life.
• It gives us an opportunity to see the struggles of singleness and pop the bubble that singleness equals marriage:  As married couples, there are moments when we can view the “freedom” singles have with envy.  Relating to them pops that bubble and brings us all back to reality.
• We’re a part of something bigger when we relate to singles:  The rigors of family life can make our one family seem like the universe.  Relating to other families can reinforce this, since their families feel like the universe to them.  By breaking out of that, we become aware that there is “other life” out there.
• The unity of the church is on display and loud statements are made about the Lord we serve:  Our single friend is right…if we are not intentional to grow in friendship with singles, it won’t happen.  Many of us have married couples Community Groups, we attend Married Couples Meetings, we are involved with Promise Kingdom, etc.  Only an intentional step beyond our ever-consuming sphere will deliver us from a segregated church and bring us into unity.

So…having proposed that you consider building friendships with singles…now what do you do?  Pause…look around you.  What singles can you organically invite over for dinner or coffee?  Who has God sovereignly placed in your sphere?  How can you reach out?

Oh…and one caution: don’t view your new friendship with a single as a project.  They don’t need to be worked on.  In fact, I’ve found we have benefitted from our friendship with singles at least as much as they’ve benefitted from friendship with us.  You’re building a friendship…not a disciple.  And, who knows?  You may be the one being conformed into the image of Christ because of your friendship with them…just because you “mixed it up.”

By Rob Flood

When our children are born and all they do is cry, sleep, and fill diapers, we can construct many dreams and visions for what their lives will be.  And, since they’re not even rolling over yet, it is easy for us to believe they will all come true.  Then, when they start to talk and walk, and finally figure out how to roll over, we’re convinced that this is the most gifted child in the world.

Slowly but surely, we begin to see sin in their lives.  Not sin of the generic kind, but sin that is specific to this child.  Through elementary school, scattered among the sweet and tender moments, we see them struggle with their sin.  We begin to wonder what ever happened to that amazingly gifted 2 month old that we had.  We question our dreams for them and do out best to push them back on Dream Road. 

In some of our cases, the struggling elementary school child grows into the wandering high school student.  Their hearts for the Lord seem cold and their hearts for the world seem warm.  In other cases, we see the fruit of godly conviction and repentance.  And yet, these two cases have more in common than it appears at first.

We all know the story of the Prodigal Son.  And we know it is not about parenting.  It is primarily intended to expose the self-righteousness of the Pharisees.  But, as a dad, I can’t help but be encouraged at seeing the tender heart of the Father toward the prodigal.  And it is the tenderness of the Father that these different cases have in common.

I’m encouraged because that prodigal was me.  I was running hard after sin and, when I finally turned to God, I found his heart to be tender toward me.  I’m encouraged because the prodigal was my wife.  And when she turned in conviction and repentance, she found God’s heart tender toward her.

And so, too, with my children.  I cannot make them turn and I cannot force conviction or repentance in their lives.  Only God can do that.  And, in the case of the original prodigal, he did that a bit late for my taste.  However, when that prodigal did turn, the Father was tender toward him.  And he will be the same when my children turn.  It’s true when children turn in whom we see godly fruit.  It will be true with our current prodigals.

And so, while the story is not meant as a parenting lesson, I pray the video below encourages you.  First, that you…a prodigal…have been embraced by a loving Father.  Second, that your spouse has the same Father awaiting him or her.  But here, mostly, that God the Father is the tender Father of the prodigals in your home.  And if you are the older brother, filled with self-righteousness toward the sin of your children, your Father has a tender heart toward you, too.

By Rob Flood

 

Sometimes it is good for us to read about how marriages last for decades.  Reading helps us learn about our own souls, the souls of our spouses, and how to be intentional in our growth as couples.

 

This is why we dedicate this space each Wednesday to issues of the family: marriage and parenting.  Growing together as families is a priority here at Covenant Fellowship Church and it is a priority to your pastoral team.

 

Sometimes it is good for us to read about it.

 

And, sometimes it is good for us to just see it.

 

This dear couple, Marlow and Frances Cowan, has been married for over 60 years.  I have no idea what they’ve done to foster love and affection for one another.  However, when I am married over 60 years, I pray I will delight in fun times with my bride after all those years.

 

Here’s an example…enjoy!

By Rob Flood

 

Editors Note: On Saturday, April 17^th, Andy Farmer gave an excellent message to our teens on the role of the Holy Spirit in sanctification.  (Listen to the whole message here.)  Following Andy’s message, there was an Extra Point for the parents.  The following blog comes from that Extra Point. (You can listen to the whole Extra Point here.)

 

In order for us to be born again, we must be “acted upon” by God.  We face the giant opponent of sin and it is too great and too strong for us to attain victory on our own.  We need help from the outside…we need to be acted upon by the grace and mercy of God.

 

Too often, we can agree with our need to be acted upon in our salvation, leaving our sanctification to our own efforts.  And we can fall victim to the fallacy that parenting is something different from sanctification.  However, a short pensive moment will illumine our error.  There are fewer things that will further our sanctification more than parenting. 

 

So, in our sanctification…in our parenting…we need to be acted upon from the outside.  We need the grace and mercy of God to act upon us for our success.  Much like our battle with sin, we are not adequately equipped for the battle in our souls that parenting lays before us.  Yet, in our isolated pride, we often close the door to the main path of grace and mercy that God desires to use: others.

 

In parenting, God takes us to the precipice of what we can do on our own…and then He orchestrates circumstances that push us over the precipice into a free fall.  I have found that is a decent explanation of parenting:  quickly approaching the precipice of what I can do on my own and then, daily, being pushed into a free fall by the circumstances presented to me.

 

So, what is God up to by inflicting that type of pain on us as parents so frequently?  He is positioning us to be acted upon from the outside.

 

SPOUSE

Perhaps the outside is our spouse.  As our children get older, I’ve become more aware at how much I rely upon my wife’s help with my heart and with help in what to do.  She has articulated the same to me.  In the last year, I’ve received more calls at work to help her with parenting than I’ve received in all the prior years combined.  Why?

 

First, our kids are getting older and their issues are more nuanced and our clarity is more elusive.  But second, and perhaps more importantly, we are recognizing more and more our need to be acted upon from the outside.  We seem to be up to the task of parenting less and less and in need of being acted upon by each other more and more.

 

So, here’s a couple of questions as it relates to your spouse:

1. Do you see them more as a help in your parenting or do you see them more as a critic to your parenting?
2. Do you attempt to be a help in your spouse’s parenting or do you attempt to be a critic of their parenting?
3. Where do parenting conversations normally go: to unity or to conflict?
   1. The answer to that question may help you to answer the previous questions.

 

But being acted upon from the outside could go beyond our spouse…

 

COMMUNITY

In our need for help, sometimes both of you are in equal need.  Remember, in this Christ centered view of sanctification, we do not have what it takes and need his grace.  And his grace often comes through others.

 

But do others know where you are struggling?  Do they know that your toes are hanging over the edge? Do they know that you are in a free fall?  If they don’t know…how will they be able to help?  In our pride, we hate to admit that we don’t have what it takes to parent our children.  We hate to admit that parenting circumstances have gotten the best of us and are beating us.  Why?

 

It is the humility that comes from conviction of sin that qualifies us for saving grace.  Before being born again, at some point, we have to see that sin is too big a foe and that we are too weak an opponent.  We have to admit that we don’t have what it takes and that we need help from the outside.

 

So, I have some questions for you in this, too:

1. Are there areas of your parenting that you are unwilling to share with people outside your family?  If so…why?
2. When was the last time you willingly brought someone into a parenting struggle you’re having?
3. When was the last time you offered help to someone you know is going through a difficult season of parenting?

 

CONCLUSION

We are in desperate need to be acted upon by the God of mercy,  the Spirit of renewal, the richly generous Jesus Christ.  And, too often, the only thing standing in between us and the thaw is our own pride of wanting to be utterly and totally sufficient in our parenting.  Together, as a church family, let’s embrace the reality of the precipice staring us right in the face…and let’s open up our lives and our hearts to receive help from the outside.

 

By Rob Flood

 

This past Easter Sunday, Jared preached a wonderful message on Acts 3. Listen Here ; As an illustration of our propensity to trust in lesser things rather than Christ, he pointed to the volatility of the current political climate.  Regardless of which side of the aisle you are on, a trust in politics to save the world from its troubles is a misplaced trust.  He said that public policy will never fulfill what only Christ can fulfill.  It’s not that public policy is unimportant.  It’s just that public policy is insufficient for the task.  Law does not renew all things; Christ does.

 

As he went through that illustration, my mind quickly shifted to our families.  There are many people in the Christian world that proclaim the “key” to raising godly children.  Some assert that more restriction and less worldly interaction will produce more godly children.  Others assert that less restriction and more engagement with the world will produce the godly children we want.  Some claim homeschooling will do it;  some claim public schooling will do it.  And the assertions continue on many fronts: television, circles of friends, versions of the Bible, recreating past eras of history, discipline, devotions, etc. 

 

Regardless of which side of the “aisle” you may be on as it relates to any of these issues, they all ultimately fail us.  It’s not that they are unimportant.  It’s just that they are all totally insufficient for the task.  While they may produce a certain type of child behavior and family atmosphere, none of these pursuits will produce godly children.  They simply cannot.

 

Christ produces godly children.  It is the work of the Spirit of God pouring His mercy and grace upon our children that makes them godly.  And the truly humble parent knows this.  When a child turns out godly, humility demands that parents fall in worship and wonder.  Worship that God would grant his grace to our children; wonder that they turned out godly in light of our parenting.

 

This is what Paul is getting at when he addresses the Corinthians’ propensity to be on opposite sides of the aisle.  There were divisions among them over which teacher to follow.

 

For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.  What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” (1 Corinthians 1:11-12)

The quarrel is bound to be damaging and fruitless because it cannot address the real problem.  That’s why he returns to it in chapter 3:

 

What then is Apollos?  What is Paul?  Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each.  I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:5-6)

As we view our children, we must continue to plant and water.  And we must make the best choices we can as it relates to social engagement, schooling, entertainment, etc.  God gives wisdom in these areas.  However, we must constantly be wary of our propensity to trust in these things.  Though they may contribute to planting and watering, they do not…they cannot…give the growth.

 

What then is Apollos?  What is Paul?  What is Mom?  What is Dad?  Servants through whom they believe, as the Lord assigned to each.  Dad planted.  Mom watered.  But God…God…gave the growth.

 

And praise God for it because our limitations don’t give a sunny view of the future for our children.  But God’s boundless and infinite power, grace, and love give great hope…and are worth to be the object of our trust.

By Rob Flood

Having children is a wonderful blessing.  Wonderful.  However, it is also a challenging blessing.  Challenging.  We have a tendency to think it’s hard because of them, but sometimes the most difficult part of parenting is dealing with the side of us that we see and have to deal with.

We can often vacillate between not caring what they think of us to caring too much about what they think of us.  This is not a light-hearted matter, but sometimes laughing at some very serious things is a bit of food for the soul.

Which draws my attention to a fun blog I read recently.  The middle of the blog reads like this:

After finding alcohol in her son's car [Jane] decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old son's misdeeds with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. Her ad and the story it created made its way to the Associated Press where it was reported widely.

The ad reads:

OLDS 1999 car for sale. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. Call meanest mom on the planet.

The 48-year-old mom says she has fielded more than 70 calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors, and others all who wanted to congratulate her. "It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying, 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You are really strict, lady.'"

Now, don’t take this as parenting advice.  Publishing your child’s misdeeds may not always be the best course of action.  However, do take this as encouragement.  Moms and dads make difficult and unpopular decisions daily.  And, if the judgment of our child’s happiness were our jury, we’d be guilty every time.  There is another arbiter, though.  

He is the one who has called us to this task and He is the one to whom we all must answer…for our parenting and for our lives.  

So, for all of the “totally uncool parents” among us…keep up the good work!

The cited blog, in its entirety, can be found here.

By Rob Flood

Imagine being an innocent bug on a wonderful summer night.  You’re flying around doing “bug” things when your eye catches some very pretty lights.  You fly to it, drawn by its strangely luring luminescence.  Suddenly….”ZZZZZZZZZ!”

Our innocent victim of insecticide had no intention of being lured to its death.  It was the lure of the light that drew him.  If he was a thinking bug, he’d remember the thousands of friends that have flown to the light before…never to return.  Or, he might have noticed the thick layer of bug carcasses that lie just beneath his flight pattern.  But our little six-legged friend went on instinct, unthinking to his demise.

This is the nature of being a bug.

This is the nature of being human.

Proverbs 5 gives us a similar story.  However, this is not a creature of the six-legged kind, but of the two-legged kind.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
(Proverbs 5:3-4)

It is the poison of sin coated with the lure of sugar.  It is pain with the lure of pleasure.  It is death with the lure of promised life.  

Like our unfortunate insect friend, husbands and wives fly unthinking into infidelity.  It does not take much to entice our thoughts.  We rarely start on the luring path aware of where it leads.  All we see is the drip of honey, the smooth oil.  We deny that they lead to bitterness…to a two-edged sword.

In many cases, infidelity is not a choice…it’s a drift.  A thoughtless drift of giving into one sin after another.  Maybe it begins with entertaining negative thoughts about your spouse.  You rehearse those in your heart and convince yourself that God would want you happier than you are right now.  So, you go for a walk.

From the side of the path…down another road…you hear the beckoning of some man or some woman who “understands” you.  They don’t judge you.  They don’t see your flaws…they appreciate you for who you are.  Drips of honey and smooth oil line to way.  Suddenly, you find yourself doing things you never thought possible and destroying everything you know as your life.  That is bitter as wormwood.  That is as sharp as a two-edged sword…for you and for those you love.

Fidelity is a choice.  Fidelity does not come naturally to our flesh because fidelity often means choosing against our sinful desires.  Fidelity requires moorings, commitment, and hard choices to die to self and live for others…live for Christ.

Infidelity requires nothing of us.  Only to behave exactly as we would if Christ had never invaded our lives.  Frankly, all we need to do is live like the bug we’ve been talking about.  We will enjoy the passion, the beauty, the thrill until the moment of ”ZZZZZZZZZ!”

Fidelity requires that we live as though we’ve been bought with the price of Christ’s blood.  As though our commitment to our spouse affects more than just our home, but our church and the glory to God to boot.  Fidelity requires that live as citizens of another kingdom, where the words we hear will not be ”ZZZZZZZZZ!” but “Well done.”

Our marriages matter to God.  They matter to the church.  And, when all is said and done, we agree that they matter to us as well.  While infidelity does not require anything of us, fidelity requires that we are active participants in making the choice… “For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths.” (Proverbs 5:21)

By Rob Flood

Tragedy is a very ironic thing, isn’t it?  In the midst of things that devastate our lives, hope strangely sprouts up out of the rubble.  You can sense this at funerals when, in the midst of losing a dear loved one, everyone’s minds and hearts turn toward eternity.  The question the worldly things they’ve valued and wonder about some greater purpose designed by some greater being.

You may recall the strange sprouts of hope in the wake of 9/11.  Great tragedy overwhelmed the country…especially those of us in the Northeast Corridor.  Yet, that very evening, churches were full of frightened, praying people.  The streets of NYC were at the same time filled with devastation and gospel sharing.

The strange sprouts of hope don’t make tragedy a welcomed visitor.  I mean, who wouldn’t turn back time and undo 9/11 if they could, right?  Yet, in the midst of unalterable and unwanted tragedy, God seems to be up to something of eternity.

In tragedy and trial, we all sense our need for God to one degree or another.

It’s the times of peace when we have to remind ourselves of our need for God. The times when the paycheck is coming, when work is plentiful, when friends abound, when health is good…these are the times of danger in our lives. 

Good times can cause us to forget our need…to live as though we have no need for God.  We turn to false gods of this world and find them sufficient.  They scratch our itch for something beyond us without costing us anything.  These are the times when we must beware.

In good times, we all struggle to sense our need for God.

Our need doesn’t change…we are as needy for God now as we were on the day we were created…as we will be on the day we pass on.  And our God doesn’t change.  He is as totally sufficient for all of our needs and being now as he ever was…or ever will be.  Our circumstances change.

Deuteronomy 8:11-20 gives us a great caution that begins with:

Take care lest you forget the LORD your God…

It warns the people of Israel of their prosperity.  When things are going really well… Take care lest you forget the LORD your God.  The manna was a daily reminder of their need for God in the desert.  Now, their bellies would be full from the produce of their new land.  And their need for God would be a bit more abstract.

It is here were we have two opportunities for the mission of the gospel.  One for us and one for others.

For Us:  We must take care that we don’t forget.  That we never out grow or out prosper our awareness of our need for God.  We must avoid loading the freight of our hope in the basket of our prosperity and accept both good and bad from God, trusting that all things will work together for our good.

For Others:  We have an opportunity to view others through this lens.  When things are good, we can help others check their souls…that they remain dependent upon God.  And when things are bad…when tragedy hits…we are prepared to share with them the unchanging love of an unchanging God for the unchanging state of our sin.

Sprouts of hope are not accidents…they are grace.  And trial and tragedy, though unwanted and unwelcomed visitors, need not come alone.  With God, they come with hope.

By Rob Flood

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
(Matthew 11:29-30)

In Part 1, Identifying the Star, we realized that our goal of attaining star status is flawed at its core.  In Part 2, Helping Yesterday's Star Fall, we took a closer look at the burden of life on the shoulders of self-appointed star makers. 

In the Scripture above, somehow putting on Christ’s yoke leads to rest for our souls.  Rest is what we desire and need more than anything else.  The means is found in wearing his yoke.  Let’s dig a bit so we can understand and embrace his offer to come to him for rest.

What Is a Yoke?

A yoke was a device used to control oxen pulling a plow.  It was made of wood and was quite heavy, even for oxen.  Often, as the animals pulled the plow, the yoke would chafe their necks and cause damage to their shoulders.  It was a symbol used by the Old Testament prophets for slavery and domination. 

When Christ mentions it, however, there is something inherently positive about it.  He asks us to take his yoke upon us.  He promises that it is easy.  In farming, the yoke was useful.  In humanity, the yoke was disastrous.  Is it possible that Christ was about to change that?

The Reality of the Yoke

Perhaps prior to reading Parts 1 & 2, we might have enjoyed believing in the myth of independence.  However, after some self-examination, we understand that independence from God is dependence on the world.  We are always yoked to something.  It is the nature of the human race.  Paul said it well when he said:

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.  (Romans 6:16-18)

So, we must accept that we are not the director and embrace the reality of the yoke.  It is the nature and design of things.  Now, in that reality, Paul points out that there is more than one yoke to choose from:  the yoke of sin or the yoke of righteousness.

Once we are willing to admit we are dependent, then we get to choose to our yoke.  Will we choose an unloving, limited master called Sin or will we choose the loving, omnipotent Master, Jesus?  The answer seems self-evident once the reality is accepted.

Taking Your Yoke Off

If we are going to put on the light yoke of Christ, we must take on the heavy yoke currently around our necks.  So, what is our yoke and how do we take it off? There are two that we’ll read about here. 

Yoke #1
 
The first is the yoke that enslaves a person to his natural state.  With this yoke, there is no room for a divine Master…only for the star and director of self.  Try as we might, we cannot get all of our life’s ducks in a row.  In this case, with self at the helm, the yoke we are wearing is the burden of sin. 

Jesus calls out to us and beckons us to come to Him.  He sees our slavery to sin and wants to deliver us.  He knows how much we need him.  He knows we will never be good enough to order our lives perfectly, to be able to spend eternity with him.  He desires eternity with us and says, “Come.”

 Yoke #2

There’s another yoke that awaits to entrap us once we’ve given our lives to Christ.  Sure, we give Jesus the controls to eternity, but we want him to slide over to the copilot seat for the rest of it.  In this case, our yoke is not the burden of sin, but the weight of our lack of surrender. 

Jesus calls to this person as well, “Come to Me.”  Our knowledge of him is repeated in our heads and hearts.  We know that something is standing between us.  If it wasn’t, we would run to him for his yoke.  Instead, we have lived and answered from our pride – from our self-centeredness.

Putting His Yoke On

The yokes we’re wearing are chafing our necks and breaking our backs.  Then we hear Christ:  “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  We cannot, and we should not, go another step. 

By his death, Christ did all the work necessary for us to shed the first yoke.  By believing on him, we need not carry it any longer.  By his perfect life, we are freed from having to figure life out on our own…according to our own efforts.  His righteousness is more than sufficient to direct our lives.  It is our surrender to this power that liberates us from having to take another step with the second yoke.

What is Christ’s yoke?  Faith and trust.  As we live in belief, we are liberated from the worries of this world.  We are able to trust the direction he gives for our lives.  As the cycle of faith and trust repeats throughout our lives, we have opportunity to believe and experience the grace of the light yoke of Christ.

The End of the Matter

Self-centeredness is not merely sinful; it is destructive.  It not only devalues the people around you; it harms you.  Christ sees the heart you want to hide from everyone.  He knows your intentions more intimately than you ever could. 

Christ calls us to come…so come!  Allow him to remove the yoke that has enslaved you all these years.  Allow him to place his easy yoke upon your neck and allow him alone to hold the position of Star.

We know the star complex is not all it’s cracked up to be.  Hollywood knows it too.  Let’s not end up with masks of joy hiding our bitterness, discord, brokenness, and heartache.  Bring into light what is now in the darkness.  Surrender you life, your desires, your pride to Christ.  Follow him and allow today’s Star to shine.

The Everlasting God
By Rob Flood

Editor’s Note: This past Sunday, I preached the closing message of our recent series, Words of Comfort, listen here. As we seek to treasure, proclaim, and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ, here’s a section from the message that ought to help us all treasure the gospel of Jesus Christ…and the God of that gospel.

In the midst of their doubts, God is reminding Israel of who he is.  He’s done that so thoroughly in the previous section of Isaiah.  But here, in light of their doubts, let’s walk through what God highlights in his summary of who he is and what they…what we…need to focus on when we doubt God.  So let’s focus that lens.

~ The LORD is the everlasting God:  God existed before time...before trial…before sin…before all things.  He will exist after all things have perished and faded.  He was before the difficulty you’re experiencing and he will be long after your affliction is gone.

~ The Creator of the ends of the earth: Whatever comes our way happens inside of what God created…inside what he commands…inside of what he controls.  He is entirely above and beyond all we experience.  We cannot think of him as we do a creature.  He is not limited, he is not finite.  Anytime our thoughts of God resemble our thoughts of man, we must raise them, quickly.  We must call this truth to mind: God is altogether different than we are.  His ways are higher, his love is deeper, his power mightier, his mercy broader, his holiness holier, his goodness greater…not just greater than man’s, but greater than we can imagine.  Our everlasting God is the Creator of the ends of the earth.

~ He does not faint or grow weary:  Folks, he does not tire of hearing your pleas for help.  His patience is not worn by your many needs nor does he grow fatigued at carrying you.  He has been carrying you for 2 weeks through this trial… perhaps for 2 months…perhaps for 2 years…maybe even for 2 decades.  Yet, he has no less endurance now than the first steps you took together.  Perhaps you are more weary…he is not.  Your strength is fading.  It is to that degree that his strength will grow.  You receive a second wind in your strength…in your faith.  That second wind came from your God who does not faint.  Have there been times that you have fainted from sorrow…from fatigue…your God will never faint.  He will carry you…he will sustain you.

Covenant Fellowship Church, this is your God.  He receives our accusations and mercifully directs us back to who he is.  Even as we accuse him in our weak faith, his strength, his everlasting arms sustain us.  Deuteronomy 33 declares this truth with incredible force:

 26 "There is none like God,
    …who rides through the heavens to your help,
   through the skies in his majesty.
27The eternal God is your dwelling place,
   and underneath are the everlasting arms.

You are broken over the condition of your life?  The Everlasting God has his everlasting arms underneath.  Your finances seem out of control?  The Creator of the ends of the earth rides through the heavens to your help.  You feel like you cannot labor another step in your fight against sickness?  Your Savior does not faint or grow weary. 

Covenant Fellowship…

28Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.

By Rob Flood

 

A Bit of Honesty

 

Actors wait tables and suffer through grueling auditions for a chance at working at their craft.  Dreams that have recurred since they were 5 years old being realized in their adult lives.  Their dreams were not of playing Man #5 in scene 52, though.  Man#5 in scene 52 was a stepping stone to playing their next role.  Their ultimate hope is to make it to star status.  They desire to become some movie’s or play’s “point of reference.”

 

To be honest, this is my desire too.  I spend nearly all of my energy trying to get every circumstance in my life aligned perfectly to suit my needs, to be defined by me.  I am the point of reference and all people are best understood by their relationship to me.  I strive to be the director of my movie so I can also be the star.

 

My plan was going well until I grew up and realized that my movie was not the only one trying to be made.  I got married and realized that my wife was directing a movie in which she was the star.  I got a job and realized that my boss and my colleagues were directing their own movies in which they were the star.  So, what was the problem?  Too many stars – only one real movie.

 

This is revealed when our children disobey.  Do we grieve more for the way they mar the perception of God’s glory or do we grieve for the way they mar others’ perceptions of us?  Do we feel grief or frustration?  We see it when we get overlooked for a promotion.  Do we turn to God and rest on His sovereign choice of where we are placed or do we turn to our boss and label him incompetent for his clear error in discernment for not choosing us? 

 

We see it when the car breaks down, when the toilet leaks, when coffee spills on our suit jacket just before a board meeting.  When our circumstances do not serve “the star” well, we fight and demand our right to be served, to be comfortable, to be worshipped.  This self-appointed star in his self-directed movie shouts from his self-assigned trailer and demands his self-given rights. 

 

A Bit of Reality

 

But here’s reality.  There is but one movie being made throughout the history of mankind (Colossians 1:16).  Nothing can alter its script and no self-imposed director or star will thwart its purpose (Job 42:2).  There is but one Director who is jealous to be the only One worshipped (Exodus 20:5).  There is but One who can claim the right of Lordship (Exodus 20:3).  This One, and no other, is also filled with indescribable and unalterable love and compassion for these self-centered, self-imposed stars (1 John 3:1).  He graciously works His will in us with patience and kindness (Philippians 2:13).  It is this kindness that leads us to repentance – to turn from our commitment to stardom and turn toward a commitment to servitude (Ephesians 2:7).  When we turn back to stardom, it is His gentle Spirit that prods and convicts us to alter our own course to match His (John 14:16-17).

 

Through the bread and water of His Word, He feeds us to grow and washes us to purify our minds (John 15:3).  At the cost of His own blood, He redeemed us not just despite our arrogance, but because of it (Titus 2:13-14).  As the stars, we never understood why the toilet leaked or why the coffee spilled.  But as servants, we know now that Christ was perfecting us and revealing our own sin to us (Hebrews 13:12).  As stars, we never understood why our children, our spouses, our friends and colleagues would not bow and serve us.  As servants, we know now that there is but One Star, the Bright Morning Star (Revelation 22:16), at whose feet we all bow and at whose name we all bend the knee (Philippians 2:10-11).  He alone is the One who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17)– that is why we were so awful at it.  We are not the point of reference where all people find their definition and meaning – He is (Acts 17:28).

 

A Bit of Hope

 

Do you find yourself directing and starring in your movie? Stand right next to me and be counted as flawed, as fallen, as self-centered.  The Director looks on you not with eyes of distain, disgust, or despair but with eyes of compassion, grace, and kindness.  He sees a sheep that was once without a shepherd who is now found (Matthew 9:36).

 

Therefore, as a fellow and former star now assigned nothing more than a supporting role to the Bright Morning Star, humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up (James 4:10).  Live for Him and He will fill you with unspeakable joy (Psalm 16:11).  At the end of all things, as you receive your crowns and rewards, you will do the only thing a servant could do.  You will cast your crowns at the feet of Christ, all the while refusing the glory you’ve invested so much to gain (Revelation 4:10-11).

 

In the end, Christ has compassion for all directors and stars.  He loves us more than words can express.  He loves us too much to allow us the joy we seek by directing our own lives.  Hear along with me these words spoken by Jesus, who knows self-centered people like us so well:

 

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

In the following 2 pieces, we’ll consider these words of Christ and how we can do what no reasonable actor would dream of:  willingly move from being the star to being the extra.  And we’ll give all the glory to God!

By Rob Flood

 

Editor’s Note:  Jared is out this week and has asked Rob to write the Pastor’s Study this week.  For those who are committed fans of Jared…fret not:  he’ll be back to the Pastor’s Study next week.

 

As Joel preached this week’s installment of our current series, Words of Comfort, two additional passages of Scripture rose in prominence in my own heart.  We’ve said before that this entire section of Isaiah, beginning with Chapter 40, is intended to bring comfort to suffering souls.  Yet, it is not the only passage that does this.  Much of God’s Word, either directly or indirectly, provides comfort for hurting hearts.  Here are just two examples.

 

Psalm 103

 

What should a soul that is in need of comfort do?  Psalm 103 gives us one of the answers: it should preach to itself.  Sometimes our souls need to be preached to…our affections and remembrances of the Lord need to be roused.  Psalm 103 does that.  Consider verses 6-8:

 

 ⁶The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷He made known his ways to Moses,
   his acts to the people of Israel.
⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious,
   slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

 

This is truth that we must keep in the forefront of our minds.  “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.”  We know this in our minds, yet forget it so frequently.  Which is where the preaching comes in.  We need to know this so much that David begins by saying:

 

¹ Bless the LORD, O my soul,
   and all that is within me,
   bless his holy name!

 

You see how David is commanding his own soul to bless the Lord.  He is commanding all that is in him to bless God’s holy name.  And, after preaching the truth of God to himself, it seems odd that David’s soul would be the only one lifting praise. So he with exhortations of all:

 

 ²⁰Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his word,
   obeying the voice of his word!
²¹Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
   his ministers, who do his will!
²² Bless the LORD, all his works,
   in all places of his dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

 

Psalm 121

 

This psalm begins with the question asked by all who are in need of comfort. 

 

¹I lift up my eyes to the hills.
   From where does my help come?

 

Essentially, the question is “Where am I going to get some help to get out of this struggle?”  Once you’ve preached to your soul to bless the Lord, you can’t help but be reminded of who he is.  We turn to the Lord for help…and he promises to help us.

² My help comes from the LORD,
   who made heaven and earth.

 ³He will not let your foot be moved;
   he who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴Behold, he who keeps Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

 ⁵The LORD is your keeper;
   the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

 ⁷The LORD will keep you from all evil;
   he will keep your life.
⁸The LORD will keep
   your going out and your coming in
   from this time forth and forevermore.

 

In times of need, when words of comfort are everything our weary souls require, God’s Word proves itself sufficient again.  As Joel said in his message, “God is not distant.”  Our God is a help to souls in need.  Praise him!

By Rob Flood

 

Last night, the married and engaged couples of  Covenant Fellowship Church shared the last message in Fight Night: 3 Rounds to Conflict Resolution.  Mark Prater taught on the Gospel of Peace.  Praise God that we have forgiveness in Jesus Christ and that, ultimately, peace in our homes is something that has been accomplished through his blood, as we apply gospel truth in our homes.

 

Peace with God is not possible without grace from God.  So too, peace in our homes is not possible without grace.

 

On a very similar topic, John Piper refers to grace in marriage as “justification bent outward.”  He defines it as the outward bending of the result of our justification…Christ’s finished work in our hearts.

 

In a message called, “Marriage: God’s Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace,” he says the following:

 

This is the vertical reality that must be bent outward horizontally to our spouses if marriage is to display the covenant-making, covenant-keeping grace of God. We see this in Colossians 3:12-13, “ Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

 

“As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive”—your spouse. As the Lord “bears with” you, so you should bear with your spouse. The Lord “bears with” you everyday as you fall short of his will. Indeed, the distance between what Christ expects of you and what you achieve is infinitely greater than the distance between what you and expect of your spouse and what he achieves. Christ always forgives more and endures more than we do. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Bear with as he bears with you. This holds for whether you are married to a believer or an unbeliever. Let the measure of God’s grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse.

 

And if you are married to a believer, you can add this: As the Lord counts you righteous in Christ, though you are not in actual behavior or attitude, so count your spouse righteous in Christ, though he is not—though she is not. In other words, Colossians 3 says, take the vertical grace of forgiveness and justification and bend them out horizontally to your spouse. This is what marriage is for, most ultimately—the display of Christ’s covenant-keeping grace. (1)

 

Marriage, unlike most other relationships, offers us the opportunity to forbear, to forgive, to choose unity over agreement and love over winning.  But this is only possible as we reference, even rely upon, the work of Christ on our behalf…reconciling us to God and granting the grace for us to reconcile with each other.

 

[1] By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org at this link: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByTopic/45/1992_Marriage_Gods_Showcase_of_CovenantKeeping_Grace/

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Rob Flood

 

Has your car even been out of alignment?  You know what I mean…when your car naturally drifts left…or drifts right.  What’s missing?  Why does it do this?  It’s lacking adjustments that stop the natural drift.

 

Christians, too, can automatically drift to one side or the other when it comes to the mission. 

 

Some drift to disengagement.  They consider their involvement in the mission to be restricted to church attendance, family time, and fellowshipping with friends.  They’re solid Christians but not aggressive on mission.

 

Some others engage mission with unbridled fervor.  They throw themselves into ministry of compassion: helping the poor, tending to the sick, encouraging and befriending the outcast.

 

And, perhaps the most difficult thing of all, is that each drifting faction attempts to proselytize the other.  The disengaged attempt to pull back to super-engaged.  And the super-engaged attempt to motivate and enlist the disengaged.

 

In the process of making cases and prosecuting perspectives, the alignment of the church can get out of whack.  Each group, though well-intended and well-motivated, needs adjustment.  Because of their intense focus on the trees, they’ve missed the forest.

 

The fix for both groups, and the key to alignment, can be found in the facts and implications of the work of Christ.  The song, Rock of Ages by Augustus Toplady, captures the message of adjustment well.

 

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.

 

Regardless of which group we’re a part of…regardless of our perspectives and passions…we all need to be hidden in the cleft of Christ.  This is the beginning of the adjustment each drifting group needs.  Without this, we will necessarily miss the forest for the trees.

 

Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

 

Our efforts in compassion, in mission, or even in fellowship are not the basis of our spiritual health.  The labor or our hands, which we are called to do, cannot be used to judge the mission…nor is it to be used in judging others.

 

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

 

Regardless of our gifting or passions, we truly come to God with nothing in our hands.  1 Corinthians 4:7 makes it clear that whatever we have, we have been given.  Our need for grace brings the forest into clarity.

 

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

 

It is the end of our story, our union and eternal fellowship with Christ, that fuels our hope and our engagement in the mission.  The end of the story pulls us out of our own perspective on mission and helps us see the rest of the forest.

 

So, how should we engage the mission of the church?  …the call of the gospel on our lives?  Keeping our eyes on the cross and our hearts the coming of Christ, we engage the mission.  We encourage one another in the work of the mission.  And we first identify our own tendency to drift prior to concerning ourselves with the drifting of others.  This will help us avoid missing the forest for the trees.

By Rob Flood

 

By the grace of God, we are well-taught people.  We know that the gospel is central.  And not just central to the message of salvation.  We know the gospel is central to the Christian life.  We never outgrow our need for it.  We just grow deeper in our awareness of it and dependence upon it.

 

But sometimes…in some specific areas…we can desire something more.  Sure, we like the gospel, but couldn’t you give me the gospel and five things to do?  Couldn’t you preach the gospel clearly and tell me 3 steps to marital bliss?  …or 5 keys to holiness?  …or the most important thing to do in dealing with marital conflict?

 

Here’s what we have planned for you:  Fight Night: Round 3!

 

This Tuesday evening, February 2nd at 7:30 p.m., the married and engaged couples of Covenant Fellowship Church are going to gather for the final installment of Fight Night. 

 

If you recall, we met for Rounds 1 & 2 in the fall.  We learned quite a bit about conflict, enmity with God, and even some very useful steps in addressing and resolving conflict.

 

We are prepared to make you a commitment.  This Tuesday evening, we will address the issue of marital conflict head on.  There will be practical help for you to take home.  However, we commit to never go beyond the gospel.  We do not have to labor to make the gospel relevant…it is relevant by its very nature.

 

This is why we never have to deliver the gospel…and.  We simply need to go further into the gospel and mine its riches.  And our hope is to do that together on February 2^nd.

 

If you didn’t attend Rounds 1 & 2, don’t let that keep you from coming.  You can even listen to the messages here.  And if you don’t get a chance to listen to these audio messages, come anyway.  Bring your marriage…just as it is.  And expect God to meet you.

 

We’ll start at 7:30 sharp.  We hope to see you there.

 

Fight Night: 3 Rounds to Conflict  Resolution

Round 3

Tuesday, February 2^nd, 2010

7:30 p.m.

 

Coffee and fellowship to follow

 

 

 

By Rob Flood

As a parent, I find myself praying for providential moments to have meaningful spiritual discussions with my children.  Sure, there are planned discussions.  These look like conversations around the table either in the morning over breakfast or in the evening over dinner.  But, to be honest, while I’m full of faith that God uses those times, I’m not getting jubilant “Amens!” from around the table at those times.

Then, of course, there are the spontaneous spiritual discussions that happen in the close quarters of an automobile or the losing side of a competition.  Those are sweet, but hard to measure.

Recently, the Floods have encountered Viral Spiritual Conversations.  I can’t say I recommend them…but they certainly qualify as providential moments.

This week, we are all taking turns dancing around the floor doing a hoe down with a stomach virus.  While this has happened before, something is different this time.  There is a tangible spiritual element to this visit of our pesky GI friend.

• The children have cried out for prayer, literally, as they have been overtaken.
• Questions of “why would God allow this” came from a few of them.
• Talks of distaste for the Fall were had.
• And, at least on one occasion, I can say the most significant spiritual conversation to date was had with one of my children as we waited for the virus to round 3^rd and slide into home.

So why blog on a stomach virus.  Surely, I’m not recommending one for your home…am I?  No…I’m not.  

I’m blogging on a stomach virus because it was just a couple weeks ago when my wife and I were talking about whether the children were actually understanding the gospel or the things we teach them relating to the gospel.  We felt a bit like inquirers with nowhere to go for a clear answer.  Then…WHAM!  Like a punch to the gut…or many guts, as is the case here…we see application in our children’s lives.  God, in his good providence, has revealed that at least some of the infirm in our home are connecting dots.

In your home, it may not be a stomach virus.  Maybe it’s the loss of a family fish, or the breaking of a favorite Christmas toy, or a sprained ankle just before the basketball game.  If God is sovereign, as we know him to be, he is using all our circumstances for our good.  As parents eagerly looking for signs of spiritual life in our children, we need to be looking for connected dots and spiritually informed questions…even during stomach bugs.

There are many kinds of spiritual conversations that ought to be happening in our homes as we rise up and when we lie down.  God uses them all…even the spiritual conversations that go viral!

By Rob Flood

 

Have you noticed that there are many places where humility just doesn’t seem all that difficult?  We can have seemingly endless patience with some people in our Community Groups or other friends at church.  We can be out at a Target and have compassion on the person behind the counter.  We can be sitting in traffic and embrace the sovereignty of God.

 

But then we go home.

 

The endless patience evaporates for your spouse.  The compassion evaporates for your children.  Embracing the sovereignty of God feels much more like a wrestling match. 

 

Now, I’m open to the possibility that this difference is merely in my own life and that y’all are doing a great job.  However, if you’re even a bit like me, a question gets raised that needs an answer. 

 

Why is humility so much harder in our homes than it is nearly everywhere else?

 

We can, at this point, begin to analyze the causes and effects of our pride.  We might suggest that we’re home more than anywhere else so naturally we’ll fall into sin there more than anywhere else.  We might suggest that we have an expectation of serving self in our home and, when it gets invaded or threatened, we break out in pride.

 

As true as these circumstances may or may not be, there is an answer to this question that applies in all circumstances.  In moments where we lack humility, even in the home, we’re forgetting to apply a simple and well-known truth: the gospel.

 

I know…it can get to be a bit mind-numbingly redundant to keep saying, “the gospel.”  But don’t let the frequency of the word wear off the edges of its meaning.  In his book, Momentary Marriage, John Piper addresses the topic of humility and how it works in marriage.  He says:

 

The gospel of Christ’s painful death on our behalf has a way of breaking our pride and our sense of rightful demands and our frustration at not getting our way.  It works lowliness into our souls. (p. 56)

 

True and lasting humility only grows in the soil that rests in the shadow of Calvary.  And if we are going to manifest true and lasting humility in our lives, we must go to that soil, bend our knees and rest them on the turf there, and allow Calvary’s shadow to do it’s work on us…in us. 

 

True and lasting humility expresses itself wherever we are.  At church, in Community Group, in traffic, and at home.  When you truly possess this type of humility, it shows up in your marriage.  It shows up in your relationships with your children.  It shows up as you relate to your parents.

 

We’ve been told on any number of occasions that “home is where the heart is.”  If your heart has been humbled by the reality of Christ’s painful death on your behalf, then home is joyful because that is where the humble heart is.  If your home is the greatest stage for your pride and self-centeredness to shine in the spotlight, then perhaps you should plan a trip to Calvary.  There’s a shadow waiting for you there.

By Rob Flood 

Jonathan Edwards is a well-known name in these parts.  He has a reputation for being a prolific writer, a dynamic preacher, a wonderful theologian, a passionate disciple.  What you may not know is that he is also an all-star resolution maker. 

When Edwards was a young man, he set out to determine the way he would live his life.  Without infringing upon the providence or sovereignty of God, Edwards determines how he wanted to live and then resolved to do it.  He even wrote them down.  His record of resolutions began: 

Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ's sake. 

He was fully aware that not a single one of these resolutions was possible without the help of God.  Yet, his dependence upon God’s help did not stop him from making these resolutions.  In fact, it was this very dependence upon God’s help that motivated him to be so bold in his resolutions.  Bold enough to make 70 of them, which he read weekly for the rest of his life. 

Here is just a sampling of his resolutions: 

#5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

#6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

#7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

#16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good. 

#25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it. 

#43. Resolved, never, henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's. 

I’m not suggesting that we set out and make 70 of our own.  But we can learn something from this.  Even wise, gifted men such as Edwards need to choose purposefulness for their lives.  We can sometimes see men like this and think they are other-worldly.  They don’t struggle with temptation.  They aren’t normal.  They aren’t like us.  Yet, these resolutions defy that. 

No…his gifting isn’t normal.  But his temptations are.  His tendencies are.  And his choice for purposefulness in his Christian life is as necessary for us as it was for him.  

Will you act and speak only as though it is the last hour of your life? (#7)  Will you choose to act always as though you belong only to God? (#43)  If not these resolutions, what will you use to help you live purposefully, for as long as you live? 

Edwards’ resolutions were for Edwards.  They are not Scripture nor are they binding on your life.  His example, though, for purposeful living is a call placed on each of us.  

Interested in reading the whole list of 70 resolutions?  Click HERE.

By Rob Flood 

Strewn boxes…slivers of wrapping paper…tape stuck to the carpet…Christmas tree needles stuck to the floor with Christmas tree sap.  Not to mention piles of opened gifts awaiting that dreaded task of being put away.  Ahhh, the week after Christmas. 

The week after Christmas leaves clutter in our homes, but can often leave clutter in our hearts as well.  So many of us, especially our children, have spent the weeks prior to Christmas hoping for specific earthly things.  And now that we have some of them, they occupy so much of our time and our thoughts.  

And then we’re reminded of Colossians 3:1-4: 

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 

In a season where all of the forces of the earthly and spiritual realms seem to work in concert assaulting our focus on Christ, how can we as families begin to realize the truth of Colossians 3:1-4? 

First of all, understand that enjoying our presents after Christmas is okay.  Some of what we received was very needed…or very cool.  And it was given with the intention of blessing you and bringing you joy.  Enjoying is fine. 

But if your house is anything like mine, the week after Christmas can sometimes feel like way too much of a good thing.  Before Thanksgiving, your children were perfectly happy with the toys in your home.  Then, during the shopping season, their “wanters” get turned on and their happiness rests in some yet-to-be-acquired thing.  Now, after Christmas, their now-acquired-thing is a source of elation…but there’s no where to put it since they still have their last-year-acquired thing in their playroom or bedroom.  Like I said…too much of a good thing. 

Here’s just a few ideas on how to allow your family the freedom to truly enjoy their newly-acquired things while helping their minds and hearts not focus too intently on earthly things. 

1. Everything needs a place:  If drawers were full before the Christmas clothes arrived…if toy boxes overflowed in November…then you are experiencing a simple space problem this week.  Toys and clothes all need to be put away, so if there’s no room, something has to go.  Use this “space problem” to help your family part with some rarely-used toys or clothes.  Places like Goodwill or the Salvation Army would be more than happy to receive what we are often more than happy to discard.
2. Store and Restore system:  Another thought, which can stretch out the fun all year long, is implementing the Store and Restore system.  Take a couple trash bags or plastic bins and fill them with toys or clothes currently in your toy boxes or drawers.  This will create room for all of the family’s newly-acquire things.  Then, sometime around May or June, pull them out and take a different set of things away.  The time that your family has spent apart from these toys can restore a bit of “newness” to the old toys.  It solves the space problem but keeps the usefulness of the toys.
3. The Toy Dump:  Prior to putting the newly-acquired things away, go through the older stuff.  I’m talking about toys, puzzles, board games, etc.  Anything that does not have all the pieces, cards, parts, etc. gets removed.  You may be surprised (or frightened) to see how much space gets created following this exercise.  As a perk, it also provides a great opportunity to clean a bedroom or a playroom.

Of course, these are just some practical suggestions on how to handle the earthly treasure of our holiday conquests.  Gentle but faithful discipleship is necessary in all cases.  Just like our children, our own hearts are prone to love the “seen” world as opposed to the “unseen world.”  And we, like our children, need practical and spiritual helps.

As a church, we have spent recent Sundays exploring the wonder of the birth of Jesus, the Christ…God with Us.  We have learned that the coming of Christ, the First Advent, is more than a miraculous birth of a baby.  It is the Son of God becoming man.  It is the first step toward Calvary.  Yet, Calvary is not the end in itself…God means to redeem a people for himself…to himself…through the work of Christ on Calvary. 

So, as we remember and celebrate the birth of our Savior, let us also remember and celebrate our salvation through these words by Charles Spurgeon: 

"Immanuel, God with us in our nature, in our sorrow, in our lifework, in our punishment, in our grave, and now with us, or rather we with Him, in resurrection, ascension, triumph, and Second Advent splendor." 

As your pastors, we count it a great honor to remember and celebrate with you the First Advent of our Lord.  And, we count it another great honor to labor along with you as we look forward in great anticipation to the Second Advent of our Lord. 

We pray that your Christmas is characterized by grace and peace…by worship and wonder…by love and joy.

Merry Christmas!

By Rob Flood

 

There are some wonderful retellings of the Christmas Story.  From the movie, “The Nativity Story” to the show at sight and sound.  From some fun children’s movies to books that we’ve built traditions around.  These are all wonderful and good parts of our holiday traditions.

 

However, in recent weeks at our church, I’ve had a thought.

 

During our Sunday series, “God with Us,” we are preaching through the Christmas story from the Gospel According to Matthew.  At our recent Christmas Concert, we recited the Christmas story from the Gospel According to Luke.  And I’ve been struck by something:

 

You can’t really improve upon those accounts.

 

What would it be like if reading the actual Scriptures became a regular part of your Christmas traditions, regardless of your stage of life?  Parents could read it to their children.  Spouses could take turns reading it to one another.  Even singles could incorporate the audible reading of Scripture into their Christmas traditions with friends, roommates, or house mates.

 

Three of the four gospels have some form of the telling of the coming of Christ: Matthew, Luke, and John.  You could use them all in one year or switch it up.  You could choose just one and read it every year.  You could choose to read smaller portions every night of the week prior to Christmas.  You could read the first half on Christmas Eve and finish the story at breakfast on Christmas morning.

 

The possibilities are many…and so are the blessings.  We swim upstream of the culture on so many areas of Christmas.  We try to focus our own hearts, let alone the hearts of our children, on Christ at Christmas.  The writers of the gospels were not fighting the same secularizing that we’re fighting.  However, they were attempting to create a retelling that caused all readers to wonder at what had happened…and even ponder the events in their hearts.  We can benefit from their efforts when it comes to focusing on Christ at Christmas. 

 

The gospels were given to us to tell us the good news of great joy: that the Son of God came to earth to save what was lost.  That is their singular focus: the telling of the story of Jesus.

 

So, this Christmas, watch that movie.  Read that story.  Utilize every tradition that has marked how you celebrate this holiday.  But consider…just consider…a Scripture-laden Christmas.  Let the Word of God do its work…by drawing your heart to the Savior who came in the flesh:  God with us.

By Rob Flood

Picture yourself at the drive through window of your favorite fast food place.  You hand over the money and the person standing in the window hands over the food.  You check it to make sure it’s correct, give a cordial goodbye, and drive off.  You’re left with the vague impression that the person seemed pretty nice. 

What just happened?  And why has that person vanished from your thinking by the time you leave the parking lot?

To you, that man or woman was a “fast food person.”  He or she has filled his or her role in your life, served his or her purpose.  The fast-food-drive-through-window person is just that…and only that.  He or she is two dimensional.

For most of life, this “two dimensional” approach seems to work without a hitch.  The teller at the bank.  The register clerk at Target.  The mechanic.  The mail carrier.  But what happens when this “two dimensional” approach enters the home?

What would that even look like?

It manifests in so many different forms.  It could look the man who sees the boy living in his home simply as a son…not as a friend of others, not as a person prone to weakness and temptation, not as a person in need of an intimate relationship with the Savior. 

It could look the woman who sees the man she’s married to merely as a husband…not as an employee tempted toward his boss, not as a father, not as a friend, not as a man struggling each day to live in purity.

It happens when we view those under our roof by the role they play for ME…for YOU…and not for the “three dimensional” person that they are. 

Some offense occurs from wife to husband and the husband responds as though this woman’s whole person is tied up in being a wife.  He disregards the day she may have had with the children, or the phone call she may have had with her mother, or the time she may have missed with the Lord.  The question never enters his mind.

One of the children has a particularly rebellious day and the parent fails to see that the child has just had a conflict with a sibling, or is beginning to figure out what it means to be a young man or woman, or is struggling in a friendship.  The question never enters their minds.

Two-dimensional family members exist to serve you.  They have no problems.  They should know what you like and what you don’t like: major on the former and avoid the latter.

However, three-dimensional family members exist to serve one another.  They are messy.  They have struggles.  However, they are far more interesting.

Two-dimensional families have no need for the Gospel.  Three-dimensional families cannot function without it.  In the two-dimensional family, the battle is waged to determine whose desires will be met.  In the three-dimensional family, the battle is waged to see God’s will met.  In the two-dimensional family, law is the flavor of every day.  In the three-dimensional family, grace surrounds each conversation and situation.

The truth is, that man or woman at the drive through window is a three-dimensional person, too.  But the two-dimensional interaction is expected…no consequences or fallout. 

The members of our families, though, are not drive through window workers.  We do not have the luxury of unintentional, two-dimensional interactions.  Your wife, your husband, your child, your parent, your brother, your sister is far more important to God than the sparrow or the lilies of the field.  And a proper understanding of God-centeredness demands that he or she be that important to us as well.

May God give us the grace and the courage to live out our family life in 3-D.

By Rob Flood

 

As we come up to Christmas, we are often more attuned to the desires of our children.  Gifts of some sort are likely coming their way.  Because we love them, we want to get them what they want.

 

In the midst of your Christmas shopping, a recent study might be of some interest to you.  A nationally representative study was performed, asking one question of 1000 children in grades 3-12 who come from two income families.  These children were asked:

 

 “If you were granted one wish that would change the way that your mother’s/your father’s work affects your life, what would that wish be?”

 

At the same time, 600 employed parents were surveyed, asking them to guess what their children would wish for.  Not surprisingly, the majority of the parents (56%) guessed that their children would wish for more time with them. 

 

But here’s where the surprise comes.   Only 10% wished for more time with their mothers and 15.5% asked for more time with their fathers.  The thing that the children wished for the most is that their mothers and fathers would be less stressed and tired.  In fact, 34% said this about their mothers and 27.5% said this about their fathers.

 

Now, it is necessary to point out that the study was performed by an organization that promotes two income families…it was the purpose of the survey.  However, even in a study like this that might contain a strategic bias, there is something of real interest that comes out: children discern our hearts when we interact with them.  They may not always discern the nuances of what’s going on in our hearts, but they feel the fruit of it…the taste of it…the effects from it.

 

We can often attempt to compensate for our weaknesses, our challenges, even our failures with more effort…with things to do. 

 

~   “We must spend more time with the children.” 

~   “We must do more fun family activities with the children.” 

~   “We must…” 

~   “We should…”

 

These things are all good to do.  Yet, if we do them without consideration for our manner, for the state of our hearts, even in our well-intended efforts, our children may still wish that mommy and daddy were less tired and stressed.

 

It is good for us to remember that godly parenting is secondarily a task of “doing.”  “Doing” is important, but not of first importance.  Godly parenting is primarily a task of “being.”  When we are abiding in the vine, we “branches” can actually rest.  Even in the busyness of work, school, and Christmas shopping, rest is possible if we are abiding.

 

If God has led you to “doing,” then by all means “do.”  However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that “doing” will ultimately fix the problem.  Whether they are able to articulate it or not, children want parents who are “being” rather than parents who are just “doing.”  So, in the midst of “doing,” don’t forget to “be.”  You may be surprised at how God subsequently empowers your “doing.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Rob Flood

 

When we lived in Little Rock, we discovered the wonder and the magic of the Super Walmart.  In one place, you could buy lettuce, soda, produce, socks, motor oil, potted plants, and a television.  It was the ultimate in one-stop shopping.  A task we all need to do made simple by putting everything we could possibly need in one place.

 

As we depart Thanksgiving and run head-long toward Christmas, many of us will see family and friends.  We will find many we encounter far more open to spiritual conversations than they may be at other times of the year.  Wouldn’t it be great if you had a Super Walmart at your disposal in your conversations with such people?

 

Well, we have created such a wonder for this holiday season.

 

Celebrate Christmas is our winter season invitation intended to be used for evangelism.  Just like the Super Walmart, it has a vast variety of items in it, to fit nearly every occasion.  Check out what it covers:

 

~   God with Us (Our Christmas preaching series)

~   The Christmas Concert

~   Christmas Eve Services

~   The Children’s Christmas Musical

~   A Holiday Blood Drive

~   The Alpha Celebration Dinner

~   Financial Peace University

~   Explore

~   Word of Comfort (Our preaching series that will follow Christmas)

 

Folks, that’s better than motor oil and lettuce.

 

But notice that this blog is not titled “The Mission Done for You.”  It is titled “The Mission Made Simple.”  This “Super Walmart” of an invitation is as useless as the Super Walmart is if you never go.  It has to be used.

 

It provides all the information you would need to communicate, so you don’t have to remember anything.  It covers a wide array of topics, so you don’t have to fear it will be irrelevant.  The only hitch is that they still need to be carried from our church to people’s doors, desks, pockets, etc.

 

Consider picking up 5, 10, or even 20 of them.  Consider the block you live on, the department you work in, the gym you workout in.  Consider having one handy at all times and praying that God would open your eyes to opportunities to hand them out.  When you run out…we have plenty more. 

 

By Rob Flood

 

Thanksgiving is one of the those holidays that practically all Americans celebrate.  We’re told to be thankful for our country: for the freedom we enjoy.  The first Thanksgiving was celebrated by people from different cultures, different religions, and different backgrounds. 

 

From one perspective, this is a wonderful thing.  Regardless of religion, background, and culture, all of humanity enjoys common grace from God.  They enjoy the warmth of the sun, the nourishment of the rain, breath in their lungs, and a beating heart in their chest.  So, why not celebrate that over turkey and stuffing?

 

From another perspective, though, there is an opportunity on this ecumenical holiday for Christians to be the most thankful of all.  As followers of Christ, as sons and daughters of God, we have far more than common grace to be thankful for. 

 

When there is an increase in our thanksgiving for the benefits of the gospel and for the character of our God, God is glorified. (2 Cor 4:15)  When we are filled with gratitude to overflowing because of our faith, our eternity, our deliverance, God is glorified.

 

Psalm 50:25 tells us outright:

 

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!"

 

So, if our thanksgiving glorifies God, why do we fail to be thankful so often?

 

We forget God. 

 

We look at a promotion at work, a healthy marriage, thriving children, a sunny day and forget the God who gave them and holds them together.  We look at struggles with friends, failures of our health, difficulties at home and forget the sovereign God who allows them.

 

It is why Psalm 50 ends comparing the thankful person with the one who forgets God:

 

"Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!" (vv22, 23)

 

It is also why the Scriptures, from front to back, are faithful to remind us to be thankful to God:

 

~   Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! (Psalm 100:4)

~   Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:4)

~   …do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

 

 

This Thanksgiving, express your thanks for a good meal, for family and friends, and for the freedom and providence our country has enjoyed.  These are good gifts from the hand of God.  Yet, these are gifts available to more than just the church.

 

So, this Thanksgiving, command your own soul the way the Scriptures do…remember the unique grace we’ve received from God.  Remember the cross on which Jesus died.  Remember that each breath is from His hand that each passing of a saint is entrance into his rest.  Remember that all we encounter is an expression of God’s love for us.

 

Command your soul to make this Thanksgiving a day when you enter his courts with praise and his gates with thanksgiving.  A day when you give him thanks and bless his name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Rob Flood

 

In his book, The Godly Man’s Picture, Thomas Watson says:

 

Let us test our godliness by this touch-stone: Do we love God?  Is he our treasure and centre? Can we, with David, call God our “joy,” yes, our “exceeding joy” (Psalm 43:4)?  Do we delight in drawing near to him, and “come before his presence with singing” (Psalm 100:2)?  Do we love him for his beauty more than his jewels?  Do we love him, when he seems not to love us? (p.31)

 

It can be tempting to measure our godliness by what we read or don’t read, by what we watch or don’t watch, by what we do or don’t do.  Yet, it is not hard to find someone who does not profess Christ that abstains or partakes in such things.  Testing our behavior is not the most effective means of testing our godliness.

 

That is by Watson proposes that we test our godliness by the touch-stone of our love for God.  Our love for God is the ultimate test for our godliness because true godly behavior flows from it. (John 14:15)  It is the ultimate test because no one loves God on their own…in their flesh.  All who genuinely love God are first loved by God. (1 John 4:19)

 

So, how can we know if we love God?  Not primarily by our behavior, but by our loves…by what we delight in.  That’s why Watson asks the questions he does.

 

Do we delight in drawing near to him? – Many men struggle in their devotional times.  They find them dry and unfruitful.  Yet, our joy and delight in drawing near to God is an evidence of our love for him.  A godly man will live with Christ as the center.  A godly man will anticipate times in the Word with excitement…and will regret time lost.  A man who loves God will love to be with him…through his Word and through his presence.

 

Do we love him for his beauty more than his jewels? – Is our pursuit of God more about the benefits of the Kingdom or is it about the wonder of the King?  There is an old Contemporary Christian song that went, “Lord we praise you because of who you are.  Not for all the mighty deeds that you have done.”  If God took away our peace, our homes, our children, our friends, and our health, would God alone be enough?  For a godly man, such as Job, God is enough.  It doesn’t make our loss fun or enjoyable, but even in the midst of loss, a godly man is content in God more than the jewels that come from him.

 

Do we love him when he seems not to love us? – There are times when God will feel distant.  Is our godliness dependant upon the tangible presence of God.  Or are we faithful enough to be steadfast when it doesn’t feel like the Spirit is a’movin’? 

 

Our love for God is in jeopardy when it relies upon anything other that the cross.  However, when our love for God flows from the cross, none of life’s circumstances can steal our joy.  When our joy is firmly fixed upon the unchangeable events on Calvary, then our joy will stand unswervingly. 

 

Men, this is not optional…something that just the ambitious men in our midst pursue.  We are all called to love God.  We are all called to godliness.  And now, there is an inseparable tie between our godliness and our love for our saving God.

By Rob Flood

 

Faithfulness in the life of a man is least in danger when most directly threatened. 

 

Imagine someone breaks into your home and there is immediate danger.  That is a time when most men, without a second thought, step in and are faithful to their call to provide and protect.

 

The directness of the threat calls us into action.

 

Or, if there is an outright invitation to abandon your wife and family and follow after riches or fame.  If the choice is laid out in front of us with that clarity, it is easy to resist.

 

The directness of the threat calls us into action.

 

However, faithfulness in the life of a man is most in danger when least directly threatened.

 

Many a man has been slowly lulled to sleep by the lures of pleasure, only to wake, discovering that his family is gone…that his home has been invaded…that he has left the straight path.

 

There are at least a few things that are true of faithful men.  These attributes can help us and drive us to our knees.

 

A faithful man is a tethered man – He is tethered to his God.  Though his heart may want, in its folly, to drift, it can never drift far.  The tether ties him to his God.

 

A faithful man is a holy man – It is his relationship with his God that tethers him.  It is his own holiness before and with his God that keeps him near and prevents him from drifting too far.

 

A faithful man is a humble man – It is his holiness that makes him humble.  He realized that he is nothing without Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit in his life.  Apart from God, the faithful man withers.  But, as a branch connected to the vine, the faithful man flourishes when we stops seeking to be something greater or stronger than he’s been created to be.

 

A faithful man is a content man – It is his humility and holiness before God that causes him to look at his lot and be content.  He doesn’t strive for more than his providing God has given.  He is satisfied with the Lord’s provision in and for his life.

 

A faithful man is a purchased man – His life has been purchased by the blood of Christ and consequently no longer belongs to him.  Thus, a faithful man is a servant of the King of Kings.  He is duty-bound to walk in the path God has set for him and to do so in a manner that worthy of his calling.

 

A faithful man is a tethered man – And so, we come full circle.  Because he is purchased, he cannot drift far from  his Master.  And his Master will not let him drift far.  He is unseveringly tied to his God.

 

And so, men, as you consider sowing seeds of faithfulness, be alert to our common vulnerability.  Our faithfulness is not mostly endangered by the obvious pitfalls.  Rather, it is the slow, subtle temptations…the ones that go unnoticed until the path is far out of view…that are likely to get us.

 

Rather than living in fear…or in constant awareness of our vulnerabilities…if we are faithful to live our lives as though they are purchased by Christ and tethered to Christ, then the testimony that will resonate from our lives is one of faithfulness. 

 

May we be driven to our knees in desperation for the tethering of Christ.  And may we be driven to our knees in gratitude that none can pluck us from His hand.

By Rob Flood

On November 1^st, Jared Mellinger preached a message on the sacrament of baptism here.  In response to that message, many of you have expressed a desire to be baptized yourselves.  We praise God for this response.

We also praise God for the response of those who have faithfully and humbly asked questions about the content and implications of Jared’s message.  In light of those questions, and the fact that this Sunday’s message will focus on the sacrament of communion, I want to draw your attention to two tools that are intended to be used.

1) The Sacraments: Questions & Answers for Parents - With the help of our sister church in Fairfax, Virginia, we’re making available this booklet to walk you through 19 questions that parents may ask…or questions children might ask of their parents.  Questions such as:

a. What is a credible profession of faith?
b. Should unbaptized children take the Lord’s Supper?
c. What is the role of the church in evaluating a child’s readiness to be baptized and receive the Lord’s Supper?

The booklet is small, but it is also effective in helping move forward on what could otherwise be some confusing topics and questions.

These booklets are available at the Info Center in the lobby of the church.  If you did not receive one when we handed them out at church, please take advantage of this helpful tool.

2) Vital Life: The Sacraments – On November 21^st, we’re offering an entire Vital Life class on the Sacraments to view the Vital Life page click here.  While there will be some additional teaching on the subject, the bulk of the time will be set aside to field your questions.  As your pastors, we desire to take the time to be sure your questions are answered as we enjoy a fresh prominence in our practice of the sacraments.  We took time to study this topic and want you to do the same.  We want to be available to help in that however we can.

A couple of important things to remember with this class:

a. It will be held in the Whitefield room – the downstairs level of the children’s wing.
b. Please do not use the lobby to enter.  If you park on the far side of the parking lot, you can enter the Whitefield directly from the outside.  The sidewalk in front of the church wraps around the building to take you to this door.

Admission to the class is free, but we’re asking you to register so we can know how many people to expect.  You can register here.

By Rob Flood

If we’re not careful, we can fall victim to the “over there” mentality of mission.  Mission is something that happens “over there” that someone else does.  It happens in special events or special sacrifices or other lands.  Mission is an E-Team trip.

Yet, our mission statement is:

We exist to treasure, proclaim, and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And if that is true (which it is), then we actually need a place and a body in which to do these things.  And, while special events or special sacrifices can be part of mission, there is a sustaining work that must be done in the local church to provide a platform, a forum, a home for our mission.

And this is where Ministry Teams come in.

Our Ministry Teams are not just ways to feel like you are helping.  No…our Ministry Teams serve the life of our church in the same way internal organs serve the life of our bodies.  Each organ plays its part in keeping our bodies running.  And, if you don’t think kidneys or lungs are important to the mission of a body, just consider how a mission might go without them.

Over the past couple months, we’ve highlighted some of these “internal organs” of our church to draw your attention there.  Of course, this gives us an opportunity to honor those who have served.  But equally as important is letting you know of the need to keep those internal organs staffed and functioning.

Three of the teams that have been covered are listed below.

~    Ushers – It is because of this team that we as a church are able to collect Tithes and Offerings, enjoy the elements during Communion, and even find seating.  But this “organ” does more than that.  These folks stand poised to step into the types of unanticipated needs that often arise each Sunday.  We are thankful for our Ushers.

~    Function Support – These are the folks that make sure the auditorium is ready for our services.  Among the many duties they carry is the preparation of seating and the setting of the lobby.  So much of what we enjoy each Sunday is because of this team…most of us don’t even know how we rely upon them.

~    IMag / Sound – The combination of these two teams gives us our eyes (IMag – Image Magnification) and our ears (Sound) on Sundays.  These are the people who, when they do their job perfectly, you never even notice them.  Think of how many Sundays you are completely unaware of the people serving on these teams.  That is due to the excellence of their work. 

While there is much value in mission that is “over there,” there is plenty of mission to be had “right here.”  As you consider how you fit into the mission of treasuring, proclaiming, and growing in the gospel of Jesus Christ, consider these vital organs of our church.  And how you can join them in their work.

By Rob Flood

On Tuesday evening, Covenant Fellowship Church hosted Fight Night: 3 Rounds to Conflict Resolution: an event designed to help married couples address conflict in their relationships.  (The messages from Tuesday night will be posted no later than Monday, November 9th, and can be found here.

In his helpful tool called “A Test for Arguing Wisely,” Andy Farmer gave four categories to keep in mind when entering or actively involved in conflict.  You’ll find those categories and a sampling of his questions below.

1. Be trustworthy; attack the problem, not the person
Proverbs 20:6 (ESV) Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?

- Do I resist bringing up past failures in present situations?
- Do I resist exaggerating or using universal language? (always/never)

2. Be humble
Proverbs 11:2 (ESV)  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.

- Do I resist turning an argument into a courtroom to win my case?
- Am I willing to acknowledge my sin once I see it, even if my spouse isn’t owning theirs?

3. Be self controlled
2 Tim. 1:7 (ESV)  For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

- Do I seek to keep a calm, reasonable tone of voice and let the other person complete their thoughts when we argue?
- Am I committed to using objective, biblical language when I speak in conflict.

4. Work Toward Reconciliation
Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)  So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,  leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

- Am I committed to resolving arguments through clear statements of confession and forgiveness?
- Am I committed to inviting the perspective of a trustworthy friend into our conflicts if we are having trouble resolving them?

Conflict is a very revealing thing.  It reveals those things about which we are most passionate.  It reveals how far we’re willing to go to get them.  And it reveals how well we understand the seriousness of our sin, our need for forgiveness, our need for Christ, and the usefulness of the gospel of grace.

These four categories will not, in themselves, solve your conflict problems.  They will, however, foster an environment in your relationship where the real solution will gain traction and flourish.

By Rob Flood

 

So much of parenting is “now” work for “then” results; “now” sowing for “then” reaping; “now” investing for “then” dividends.  Yet we can so often be “now” people.  Wanting all of our results, reaping, and dividends “now.”

 

But that’s not how God has arranged our calling as parents.  We’re called to labor with grace, sow the seed, and invest in faith…leaving the outcome to Him.  Our “now” desires often run contrary to the life of faith and the task of patiently, joyfully, and trustingly parenting our children. 

 

While there could be many areas of our lives where we stumble into fear, the area of parenting is a big one.  And it’s a big one for many reasons.  We really do care how things turn out because we love our children.  We want them to be well-adjusted, well-educated, reasonably successful citizens.  We want them to love the Lord, serve in His church, and lead lives that honor Him.  These “results” matter, both now and for eternity.  It is good that we care.

 

Yet, there are a lot of reasons we care so much that are somewhat less honorable.  We realize the fact that children reflect on their parents and we want to be well thought of.  We want them to succeed so we can be perceived as good parents.  Mixed in with all of the selfless, loving reasons for our fears, we see a smattering of selfish reasons for our fears.  The good news is that the answer for both of these categories of fears is basically the same.

 

This past Sunday, I preached on the topic of prayer (here).  Praying through our parenting fears is essential to carrying out God’s plan for us as parents.

 

~It reminds us that He is the one conforming our children into His image…not us…and not our image.

~It reminds us that He alone has the power to change people…both in behavior and in heart.

~ It reminds us of our dependence upon Him.

~It provides a source of faith where we can cast our anxieties.

~It removes us from the center of our thoughts, (our desires and our goals) and replaces us with Him…His   desires and His goals.

~ It provides a review of God’s faithfulness thus far and faith for His faithfulness in the future.

 

And this is just the beginning of blessings available to us as moms and dads when we pray.

 

In fact, prayer in parenting is so important that praying with other parents is worth considering.  Gathering as parents, even if it’s just as moms or just as dads, and praying for your children (or for each other’s children) is a great way to share the burden of your fears with other brothers and sisters and go to God together for your families.

Above all, keep your eyes on the main character of your prayers.  It is easy, especially in the category of parenting, to make your children the main character in your prayers.  It is also easy to make yourself the main character.  But there is no faith to be had focusing on man.  Intentionally choose to make God the main character of your prayers (His character, His faithfulness, His plans, His power, His goodness) when you are praying through parenting fears.

 

By Rob Flood

Several years ago, I was sitting at a table with Gina’s extended family following the death of a family member.  For hours…literally…they told stories about the loved one who had passed.  These stories happened long before I came on the scene…in places I had never been…and with people I had never met.  But something wonderful happened that night.  I fell in love with those people and relived their memories with them.  Though I was relatively new…I belonged there…and it was simply wonderful.

We have not just had a funeral, but a celebration of 25 years as a church.  However, when you look at this past week through the eyes of people relatively new, there are many similarities in what I experienced back then.

This past week, Gina and I heard stories from places we had never been…about events that occurred long before we arrived on the scene…and some were about people we had never met.  You know what happened…we fell deeper in love with Covenant Fellowship Church this week as we relived your memories with you.  Though we are relatively new…we belong here…and it is simply wonderful.

Yet, there is one glorious difference worth pointing out.  Many of the people from the stories so long ago are still here today.  We know you…we already loved you…and now we feel as though we know you more.  We tasted just a bit of what has made you the men and women of God you are.  The people who influenced you…the trials that shaped you…the sacrifices you made.

If our “new” eyes can serve you in any way, perhaps this is the best way.  Would you give us the privilege of pointing out something you may not know?  Thanks.

Your experience at Covenant Fellowship Church is an uncommon one.  Not uncommon from others at Covenant Fellowship Church, but uncommon in the broader experience of church that many have.  Following the celebration Saturday night, Gina and I mused over where we’ve been.  We’ve been to churches…too many churches…that have all loved Jesus and all been faithful to preach a pure gospel.  These have been good churches…but nothing like Covenant Fellowship Church.

There is an aroma here that is unlike anywhere else we’ve been.  It’s not the carpet or the HVAC system.  And, to be totally honest, it’s not even you…the people.  It is the aroma of Christ IN you.  It is the aroma of the Holy Spirit, who is free to roam where He may and do as He pleases in this church.  We’re convinced, in spite of the shortcomings of the pastors, that the aroma is just a sniff of the aroma of heaven.  There, the saints will gather, in unity, to glory in the Lamb who was slain.  To magnify the name of Jesus.  And to experience the goodness of godly fellowship.

We know a bit more about where Covenant Fellowship Church has been and what has made you who we are as a church.  We are also aware that there is much we don’t know.  We’ve just tasted snippets of the faithfulness of God to this place. 

But, this much we know…GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL.  We stood there Saturday night bouncing our eyes between the videos and you.  We bounced our eyes between the bands and you.  With the utmost honesty…our greatest joy in the museum and Saturday night was not in the artifacts or the videos or the music.  It was in watching you: your conversations, your faces, your tears and your laughter. 

Do you know what we saw when we looked at you this week?  We saw worship.  We saw gratitude.  We saw a people who know they are small but serve a God they know to be great.  We love the people of this church because we love the God we see manifest in the people of this church.

Happy Anniversary, Covenant Fellowship Church.  We are humbled to be counted among you.

By Rob Flood

 

When you think of a man’s man, what comes to mind?  Swagger?  Confidence?  Independence?  When a man’s man falls down, is he the type that can pick himself up by his bootstraps and get back on his horse?

 

There are several problems with this kind of man’s man.  First, most of us don’t wear boots, so there are no straps to pull ourselves up by.  Second, most of us don’t have horses, so there’s nothing to get back on.

 

But there’s another problem…one that hits a bit closer to home: this is not how the Scriptures define manhood.  If Christ himself is an example of godly manhood, we don’t see swagger or self-centered confidence or independence.  In fact, we see something altogether different.  We see traditional manhood turned on its head.

 

Christ was humble.  Philippians 2 lays this out for us in unmistakable detail.  God became man…need I say more?  But we all know that, too.  We’re taught well enough to know that we ought to be pursuing humility.  Yet, there’s something about humility that can feel quite unmanly. 

 

No, not the disclosure of our sin.  Everyone knows we sin…so that’s safe enough. 

 

No, not even keeping quiet about our achievements and drawing attention away from ourselves.  That makes enough sense to work its way into our lives.

 

The part of humility that can sometimes feel unmanly is the “needing others” part.  In our culture, as we understand manhood, individuality and independence are necessary ingredients.  And so, concepts like fellowship and structures like Community Groups don’t look all that appetizing.

 

But here are some hard but obvious truths.  Committing to swagger, confidence and independence, in actuality, keeps us much like boys.  Far from signs of manhood, these fleshly and worldly commitments keep us from manhood.  The don’t mark a man…they prevent one.

 

Real men…godly men…are men of community.  They are men of deep and meaningful relationships.  They are transparent men.  They are faithful men.  They are humble men.  They are men that have in them the same mind as was in Christ. 

 

They are men who sacrifice.  Men who serve.  They are men who are desperate for grace, committed to the savior, and needy each day for a fresh filling of the Spirit of God.  They are men who think little of themselves and much of their God.  They are real men…they are godly men.

 

So, will you join me in a group confession session.  Ready…repeat after me:

 

I am full of pride and love myself.  Behind my swagger is a man of fear. Behind my confidence is a man of doubt.  Behind my independence is a lonely man.  Yet my savior has died to rescue men like me.  He has lived the life of the perfect man.  And he invites me to follow him on the path of humility.  Even more so, he is committed to giving the power and wisdom I need to walk that path.  Father, forgive me for my pride…and thank you for your son.

 

So, when you think of a man’s man, what comes to mind?  When we’re willing to turn manhood on its head, we’ll find what a true man…what a godly man…really is.

By Rob Flood

I don’t want to be a perennial skeptic, but you’ll excuse me if I don’t leap for joy when I read a headline like “The Secret to a Happy, Healthy Marriage” from a news agency.  Yet, there it was.  An international news agency reporting on a report from the UK that has discovered the secret to our marital concerns and woes.

Right now, you may be hoping that the report has finally validated that one main area of change you’ve been for.  You know, the one you want to happen…in your spouse?  Or, you may be filled with fear that the secret…THE secret…is the one area you don’t want to change at all.

Could it be communication?  How about intimacy?  Maybe it’s a balanced diet or drinking filtered water?  What has this study in the UK found to be the secret to a happy, healthy marriage?

You guessed it:  separate beds.

Here’s what they say:

If you’ve ever wondered what the secret is to a long, happy and healthy marriage – the answer may be as simple as having separate beds, one sleep expert claims.

Not only will a couple escape arguments over blanket-hogging and non-stop tossing and turning — but they will have a proper night's rest and be healthier for it, Dr. Neil Stanley, the consultant who set up sleep laboratories at U.K.'s Surrey University, said.

"Poor sleep is bad for your physical, mental and emotional health," he said. "It increases the risk of stroke, heart disease and divorce."

Now, I’m all for a good night sleep.  I even encourage it.  But sheer common sense says that the solution to a happy, healthy marriage can’t be the same as the answer for a head cold.  And if common sense isn’t enough, perhaps the weight of Scripture might sway the dear doctor:

~ Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

~ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

~ What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. (James 4:1-2)

Perhaps there are other redemptive behaviors that would help in addition to a good night sleep.  Activities such as praying together, confession, praying for each other, living before others, gathering together with God’s people in worship.

I’ve met many well-rested couples whose marriage was in a shambles.  But, a couple who is willing to do these things will surely be healthy, if not always happy.

So, in humility, might I suggest an alternative “secret” to a happy, healthy marriage?  By all means, get sleep.  But for a happy and healthy marriage, embrace the gospel and serve the God who gives us this good news.  And if the nighttime movement disturbs you, rather than two twins, consider a queen or a king bed.

By Rob Flood

 

We often use Mission Fridays as a way to equip and encourage you in the mission of the church.  Often times, we use this slot to help you see beyond Covenant Fellowship Church to other parts of the country and other parts of the world.  Today, join with us as we celebrate the planting of new churches.

 

As we’ve been well taught here, church planting is at the core of completing the Great Commission.  The true fulfillment of the great commission is not simply the sharing of the gospel, but the creation of a people…a local church.  Through that church, the gospel goes forth and those converted through the gospel are baptized and discipled. 

 

The churches below represent far more than simply new Sovereign Grace churches.  They represent new bodies of believers that desire to see the name of Jesus glorified, the good news of the gospel shared, and many to put their lives and souls in the hands of our wonderful Savior. 

 

This is a task that is worthy of our efforts…and our prayers.  So, as you read below and perhaps even visit their websites, consider praying for one or two of these plants.  Whether here at Covenant Fellowship Church or elsewhere, it is our prayer than many would come to know Christ.

~   San Francisco, CA: Christ Church has been meeting since August 2, led by Toby Kurth. The church meets on Sunday afternoons in the Richmond District. www.christchurchsf.org.  

~   Fredericksburg, VA: Sovereign Grace Church has been meeting since August 23, led by Ken Delage. The church meets on Sunday mornings at Freedom Middle School in Spotsylvania. www.sovgrace.cc.  

~   Peoria, AZ: Grace Church has been meeting since August 30 in a northwestern suburb of Phoenix. Led by Chris Daukas, the church meets on Sunday afternoons at the Rio Vista Recreation Center. www.gracechurchaz.org. 

~   Downingtown, PA: Brandywine Grace Church launched just over a week ago, on September 13, in this western suburb of Philadelphia. The church is led by Kenny Lynch and meets at the Downingtown Educational Center. www.brandywinegrace.org.

~   Orange County, CA: Sovereign Grace Church of Orange County is led by Eric Turbedsky. The church-planting team meets on Saturday evenings at Pacific Church in Irvine. Keep an eye on www.sovgraceoc.org. for more updates.

~   Sydney, Australia: Sovereign Grace Church Sydney will be led by Dave Taylor and will launch, Lord willing, in 2010. Dave and his family will be moving from Newport, Wales, to Australia soon. But if you’re in Sydney, you can connect with him on Facebook or at an Intro Night he is hosting on October 30 at the Waldorf Apartment Hotel in Pennant Hills, Sydney. Check www.sovgraceoz.org. for info.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Rob Flood

 

When our children are small, protecting them from influences, from both the inside and the outside, is a bit easier.  We choose their friends, they activities, and when they can to both.  As they grow older, though, not only does protecting them become more difficult, but those who would attack them seem to grow in number and in strength.

 

The posture to protect reflects a wonderful heart for the health and happiness of our children.  Yet, it does not always serve what is best.  And, often, we make a fatal mistake as parents when dealing with the idols in our children’s lives: we take them personally.

 

We make the mistake of thinking that the idols that create problems in our children’s lives are about us. When their love for sloth surpasses their love for work, they underachieve. And we think that their failure to carry their weight in our home is about us. When their love for self surpasses their love for siblings, they attack. And we think that their failure to seek peace is about us. Their love for lust surpasses their love for purity, they compromise. And we think that their failure is an indictment on our leadership.

 

When we do, it is as though we are sitting at a table across from them with the idol in the middle.  When we look at each other, our vision is distorted because we only see the other through the idol.  We can’t see them clearly…and they can’t see us clearly.  Our posture, our vision, and our purpose are all distorted because we are positioned against them on the battlefield of the idol.

 

But if we are wise enough to pick up our chair and carry it to the other side of the table, alongside our teen, the game changes completely.  Now, we can see each other clearly.  Now, our relationship is not defined by this idol we’ve both taken so personally.  No…now we are able to see what they’re seeing and help them to see it rightly.  Rather than taking their struggle personally, we join them as a compassionate fellow sinner in the battle against the idol.

 

This removes the controlling power the idol wants.  And, in time, taking the right seat at the table makes room for the gospel to be the centerpiece of the table.  In the end, the Word of God has its rightful place, the idol has been put in its rightful place, and your relationship with your teen is defined far more by compassion than by opposition.

 

So, here are a few questions for you as you assess this:

 

1. What is the current centerpiece of your conversations with your teen?
2. What pattern of sin in their lives colors how your view them / assess them?
3. How would this change if you came around the other side of the table and came alongside them as a fellow sinner struggling against your own idolatries?
4. What 1 or 2 passages of Scripture could you begin to place at the center of these conversations?

 

The right seat at the table will not fix every problem…nor will it guarantee an easy conversation.  It will just remove the largest obstacle to fruitful communication.

By Rob Flood

A recent article on breitbart.com caught my attention with the headline, “Americans spend eight hours a day on screens.”  I set it aside, not knowing exactly how to use it, but finding it quite fascinating.  While there were many findings worth noting, the following segment of the article captures the heart of it:

Adult Americans spend an average of more than eight hours a day in front of screens -- televisions, computer monitors, cell phones or other devices, according to a new study.

The study also found that live television in the home continues to attract the greatest amount of viewing time with the average American spending slightly more than five hours a day in front of the tube.

The figure drops to 210 minutes a day of average TV viewing time among 18-24 year olds but rises to 420 minutes a day among those aged 65 and older.

Here are a couple observations that I won’t make:

~   Where does the average American find 5 hours a day to watch TV?

~   Are there better ways than 7 hours of TV watching a day for those over 65 to spend their retirement?

~   While iPhones, Blackberries, and computer screens dominate the electronic stores, is anyone else surprised that TV, dating back to 1939, still ranks first?

Those might be worthy blog topics, but there is something more fundamental to capture here.  There’s something that can serve us as men regardless of how many hours of TV you watch.  And here it is:  pay attention to what you’re looking at.

What you look at consumes time…precious time.  What you look at leaves seeds behind…visual seeds that continue to sprout fruit, even once you’ve turned your eyes away.  This is commonly accepted when it comes to sensual images, but it is much more than that. 

If I mention Close Encounters of the Third Kind…do any images rush to your mind?  How about Indiana Jones?  A hat?  A whip?  How about the Golden Girls?  You forgot that seed was planted there, didn’t you.  Are any of these seeds evil in and of themselves?  No…but they sure do prove that visual seeds take root quickly and bear lasting fruit.

What are you planting in that fertile soil of your heart, men?  When it bears fruit, will it be sweet or bitter?  And, when you’re done with the visual images, will there be any room left for the cross?  …for a spouse?  …for your kids? 

The eyes are so often a gateway into the heart.  And, when the heart is yearning for something to distract it, it most often goes to the eyes for an outlet.  So, as we’re warned about our hearts…

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

…we ought to pay special attention to our eyes.  Job lays out a wonderful example for us all:

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. (Job 31:1 – NIV)

With all the screens throwing visual images of every kind…including those of the third kind…a covenant is what it will take.  So, ask yourself…ask each other…what are you looking at?

Click here for the article from breitbart.com.

 

By Rob Flood

 

In most well-intentioned marriages, the difficulties that arise are caused by the same thing.  And if that one thing can be addressed, thoroughly and realistically, lives and marriages become radically changed.  What the problem?  Most of us are in love with the wrong person.

 

Sure…we all struggle with loving ourselves more than anything or anyone else.  Selfishness is a permanent fixture in our hearts…whether it takes center stage or not is the battle.  But, by the grace of God, we are able to recognize selfishness and put it to death…or at least put it down for an 8-count every once in a while.

 

But I’m not talking about loving yourself.  No…the wrong person we love in most of our marriages is our spouse.

 

So many changes we seek to make in our marriage are crafted around our real and well-intentioned love for our spouse.  We want them happy…we want to love them in a way that they thoroughly enjoy.  Our motivation for our attempts to change is our love for our spouse. 

 

However, if you’re anything like me, the power that such love produces fluctuates… sometimes drastically.  It’s not that my love for my wife fluctuates…I genuinely and consistently love her.  The thing that fluctuates is the power that I can derive from that love to fuel change.  She’s a sinner and so am I.  My love for her cannot be trusted as a source or motivation for change or as a foundation of our marriage.  When it does, as wonderful as she may be, I’m in love with the wrong person.  The same is true of you.

 

The only love that can be trusted…that can be counted on as a foundation for my marriage…is the love between God and us. 

 

The love God has for us came sealed with a sacrifice that purchased us.  It came with the guarantee of his love for us in the person of his Holy Spirit.  He indwells us, powering and enabling all change. 

 

Our short-comings, failures, and sin in our marriages can all be traced back to our failure to love God as we ought.  And, if that is the origin of the problem, that must be the location of the solution.  When our efforts to love are dried up, again rejected, and nothing but mechanical, the answer is not loving your spouse more.  There is no power for change there.  There is no hope in that.  The answer is in loving your God more.

 

This is the whole point behind our marriages being gospel-centered.  It the is point behind loving your husband as unto the Lord…loving your wife as unto the Lord.  When we do so, we do it in the power God provides.  We do so in dependence.  We do so in faith.

 

This frees us as spouses to say “no” to loving ourselves.  It frees us to say “no” to using our love for our spouse as an inadequate foundation for our marriage.  And it frees us by providing a constant source of power and hope, realizing that no matter how we’ve failed, God is faithful to welcome sin-fallen husbands and wives, dust us off, fill us with his Spirit, and send us back into the game.

 

What is the one thing that, if addressed, would radically change our lives and our marriages?  It is turning from being in love with the wrong…and passionately pursuing being in love with the Right Person.

By Rob Flood

 

Sometimes, we need to take a good look at the mirror to see what’s going on in our minds…in our hearts.  And sometimes, we need to take a good look out the living room window to see what’s going on in our neighborhoods and community.  Today…we look out the window.

 

A recent article in USAToday was titled, “Atheists choose ‘de-baptism’ to renounce childhood faith.”  You ask, “What is de-baptism?”  Here is the description from the article:

 

In a type of mock ceremony that's now been performed in at least four states, a robed "priest" used a hairdryer marked "reason" in an apparent bid to blow away the waters of baptism once and for all. Several dozen participants then fed on a "de-sacrament" (crackers with peanut butter) and received certificates assuring they had "freely renounced a previous mistake, and accepted Reason over Superstition."

 

You could respond like I did at first: indignation.  “How enormously disrespectful?  Who do they think they are?”  Or, you could respond like I did at second: pity.  “What happened to these people in the church that caused such disdain?”  Or, you could respond like I did, finally: curious.  “I wonder what this really shows us.”

 

While most people are not actively mocking Christianity and performing “de-baptizing ceremonies,” most people are living as though faith is superstition and “reason” has won the day.  Yes…we could argue here that true, biblical faith is utterly reasonable and that it is atheism that is unreasonable.  But that’s not where we’re going.

 

At one point, those who are going through “de-baptizing” were once baptized.  They were once in the church.  They once considered themselves Christians.  What turned them away?  The answers are endless: tragedy, suffering, hypocrisy, sin, busyness, etc.  Maybe all of the above.  But what is the Achilles’ Heel for all of these.  How can we guard our souls against such mockery?  Against such blasphemy?

 

I believe the answer is TREASURE.  Our mission is not just to go out and save the lost.  It is not just to bring them to church so that they can get trained to go and save the lost.  No.  Our mission is to treasure, proclaim and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

When we are treasuring Christ, we have an anchor that never fails.  We have a rock as our foundation.  We have a strong tower to run into.  When tragedy or trial comes, we know whom we have believed, and we are convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to us. (2 Timothy 1:12)

 

We have a treasure that keeps us humble…guarding us from hypocrisy…and freeing us to admit our hypocrisy when it’s pointed out to us.  We have a treasure that shines more brightly than all competing treasures and holds priority in our hearts and lives.

 

When you look out your living room window and see the people passing by…and you observe their godlessness…pray for them.  Have compassion for them.  And pray for your own walk with Christ…that he would remain your treasure.  And that, each time you take a glimpse at your reality…you will find Christ at the center.

By Rob Flood

 

Note of Hope is currently in Africa.  Doug Hayes and Rosella Washington, along with the rest of the band and the film crew, arrived in Tororo, Uganda on Wednesday.  All are safe.  In addition to the concerts they are performing, they are filming a documentary focusing on Covenant Mercies’ role in providing care for orphans in various places of Africa.

 

As a church, we prayed for this trip.  As you consider praying for the team and their trip, the prayer we shared on Sunday may serve to guide you and remind you.  What a privilege we have to support Covenant Mercies with our prayers.  What a privilege to have them within our walls.  What a privilege that they are a genuine part of who we are.

 

A summary of the pastoral prayer:

 

You have shown us such grace in allowing us to provide care for orphans in Africa.  We thank you, God, we thank you for the privilege as we join your work in other parts of the world.

 

As A Note of Hope travels to Africa for their concerts and for the filming of their documentary, we cast our care for them on you.  Would you provide them with your mercy to endure the travel, to flourish even when fatigued, and to have your favor with the electricity.

 

But beyond that, God, we pray for the ministry on this trip. We pray that, even now, you would be preparing hearts to respond to the gospel. As we pray here, you are present there. We pray that lives would be changed for eternity because this band and this crew have followed your will and have been faithful to your gospel.

 

But even beyond that, Lord, we ask your mighty hand to be on this documentary. That the plight of the orphan in Africa would be made known…well known.  That you would use the reach of this documentary to fund Covenant Mercies and their future efforts…to expand the numbers of orphans our current programs can care for and to expand the program to other nations.

 

Father, we cast our cares for A Note of Hope on you.

 

We serve a mighty, wonderful, powerful God.  And though you could stand at a distance and watch us in our weakness, you are a near God, who invites us to cast our cares on you.  Father, hear our prayer.  We wait in faith…in hope…knowing that we need not worry…that we can cast these cares on you…and that you are more than trustworthy to make these things work for your glory and our good.

 

In Christ’s name…Amen.

By Rob Flood

 

This past Sunday, there was a time of pastoral prayer during the service.  It was imbedded in the song, “I Will Cast My Cares.”  Moms and Dads, as you prepare for the start of this new school year, we thought you might like to have the lyrics of that song along with the pastoral prayer that was prayed on your behalf.

 

I Will Cast My Cares

 

Jesus, I'm frail, I'm so very weak

My faithfulness fails, my courage will flee

But You are my rock, my shelter and shade

When I'm burdened down, You'll carry the weight

 

So I will cast my cares on You 

Yes, I will cast my cares on You

I will rest within Your arms

Knowing I am safe from harm

I will cast my cares on You

 

When I'm overwhelmed and I cannot stand

You hear every cry and You lift my head

I'm desperate for grace and mercy anew

I must have Your strength, Oh I must have You

 

A summary of the pastoral prayer:

 

Father God, would you please bless the mothers of our church with a deep sense of peace as the busy schedules that always come with fall startup?  God, make them more aware of the goodness of your sovereignty than they are of the rigor of the schedule.  Make them aware that they are your servants…not the schedule’s slave.  Give them peace, wisdom, and a deep, abiding awareness of your presence.

 

For moms whose children leave the home for school, would you provide keen insight into each of their children…helping their children form healthy friendships in their new class.  Help them help their children cultivate a healthy relationship with their new teacher.  And guide them as they graciously walk their children to new patterns of self-discipline as they themselves welcome the new school year.

 

And God, for moms who homeschool, provide for them comfort as they are aware of their own deficiencies in the task of teaching.  Fill them with faith, Lord, that you will meet them.  That you will be with them not only in their devotional time each day, but also in science and math.  That they step into this new school year with you by their side and with your Spirit filling them with power and wisdom and patience for a new school year.

 

We serve a mighty, wonderful, powerful God.  And though you could stand at a distance and watch us in our weakness, you are a near God, who invites us to cast our cares on you.  Father, hear our prayer.  We wait in faith…in hope…knowing that we need not worry…that we can cast these cares on you…and that you are more than trustworthy to make these things work for your glory and our good.

 

In Christ’s name…Amen.

 

By Rob Flood

 

On Sunday, August 23^rd, Jared Mellinger preached from 1 Thessalonians 5 on relationships in the church. (You can find the message here)  He highlighted three different types of relationships: relationships with our leaders, with one another, and with wrongdoers.

 

In the message, Jared referenced an article written by David Powlison from CCEF.  In an effort to serve you and provide the fullness of this content for you, CCEF has graciously agreed to make the article available to you.  You can download it at the bottom of the page.

 

Here are the two excerpts that Jared read on Sunday:

 

“Wise and timely flexibility is the fruit of 5:14.  Paul teaches us to understand our brothers and sisters in terms of their particular struggles, and then to respond appropriately. He never says, “Admonish the disheartened.” To acknowledge personal wrongs is not step one for the anxious. If you primarily admonish them, you only further discourage them.  In the same way Paul never says, “Encourage the unruly.” Helping them grasp that God loves them and will not abandon them is not step one for the willful. If you simply offer promises of kindness to the willful, you will only reinforce their impression that God, like you, is a sentimental dupe, and their confidence that they can get away with whatever they are doing.”

 

“Probably each of us who does ministry tends towards one of the characteristic forms of helping. It’s your gift. But left to itself, it remains unbalanced. That is part of why God has given us 5:14, to keep us from being blinded by our best gifts. We are called to broaden our vision, to work out of our comfort zone. A hammer thinks everything is a nail; a blanket, treats everyone as shivering; a wheelchair thinks everyone needs a lift. But wisdom sees people for what they are and gives what is needed.”

 

These thoughts matter.  Why?  How we relate with each other is a vital part of our mission.  As we treasure, proclaim and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ, we do so in relationships.  And our relationships prove to be a significant witness to the world.  Not primarily about how kind of a church we have…but how great of a God we have.

 

We live out our mission in community…not in isolation.  We live out our mission in relationships with the redeemed…the flawed redeemed…the sinning redeemed…the trying redeemed…the serving redeemed…the unruly redeemed…the faint-hearted redeemed…the weak redeemed…but the redeemed nonetheless. 

 

We encourage you to read the attached article, review the message from Sunday, and thank God for our church.  As members here, we have the wonderful opportunity to receive this kind of care…and to give it.  We have the distinct privilege of living our mission…together.

 

Download the CCEF article HERE.

 

This article is published in the Journal of Biblical Counseling, a publication of the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). All content is protected by copyright and may not be reproduced in any manner without written permission from CCEF. For more information on classes, materials, speaking events, distance education and other services, please visit www.ccef.org.

By Rob Flood

Each week, as I read through the headlines of daily newspapers and blogs, I keep an eye out for family topics.  Who knows what might end up being blog-worthy?  As I recently scanned some articles I had captured, there was a striking trend.  Here is a sampling of the headlines:

• Save the Planet: Have Fewer Kids
  • Point: Kids consume to many resources. 
• Having Babies Bad for Economy 
  • Point: Kids have ruined the economy.
• Number of Households with Kids Hits New Low
  • Point: Couples have wised up and found better forms of happiness.

Now, before you get yourself all upset, you’ve got to see this from the authors’ perspectives.  If this world is all there is and this planet must last for eternity, it makes sense at least posing some of these topics.  If our own personal happiness and comfort are primary and our riches paramount, it makes sense having these discussions.

After all, it wasn’t that long ago that having additional children actually increased the family income.  More children provided more labor for the fields.  Children were not a burden on the economy, but necessary for a healthy one.

Now, in our industrial, technological, and post-modern society, things have changed.  And, if pragmatism is going to win the day, then less children may be the best solution.

However, much to the chagrin of our newspaper authors, pragmatism will NOT win the day.  You see, as we evaluate our own lives and make our own decisions, we do not make them for this world.  There is another world, the right world, that holds our treasure and forms our perspective.

The God of the Bible…the God of the universe…tells a different story.  He says to us:

• Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)
• The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry. (Proverbs 10:3)
• For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills. I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine. (Psalm 50:10-11)

And then, lest you think that applying this to children is a stretch, this providing God removes all doubt:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! (Psalm 127:3-5)

Children…bad for necessary resources?  …bad for happiness?  …bad for the economy?  Well, that all depends on which one you’re living for. 

And as for those who write such columns…don’t be upset with them.  Pray for them…that they would have the eyes of their hearts opened so that they could live with the right world in view.

By Rob Flood

Spring was in the air and the sun was shining, but a chill went through his body.  The hair on the back of his neck stood at attention telling lies about the climate.  Brent Fisher tells the story this way: 

I received an e-mail several months ago from my pastor telling me that August 8^th would be my Community Group’s day for Second Saturday. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. How am I going to get the folks in my Community Group to agree to go out on an outreach? This group of senior saints is BUSY; they’ve got all their Saturdays filled.

As Spring turned to Summer and the temperature of the air rose, so did the hair on the back of Brent’s neck.  Carrying a burden to care for his group…and a burden to not be the cause of their angst, Brent…and the hair on the back of his neck…went into his next Community Group meeting.

I started to talk about how all the care groups were being asked to go on a Second Saturday outreach. Just then someone said, “ is that where they hand out water on the street corner”? I said, “Well, that could be one of the activities for the out reach.” Another one said man that would be a great thing for “them” to do since it is so hot. I quickly said, “Why don’t we do a water give away?” The long and short of it is we ended up with 11 people signed up to go and headed for Kennett Square.

On August 8^th, Brent arrived at Second Saturday with the hair raised on the back of his neck.  The hair whispered: What if no one else shows up?  How will you answer to your pastor?  You should leave now…before it’s too late?  Upon seeing eleven others from his Community Group, Brent continues the story:

Things started to feel much better as everyone began arriving for things like the car wash, Chester Bible give away, special out reach to a brother’s home, and a couple other places. Did you ever notice the hair on the back of your neck calms down when you see a lot more people are in this with you?  Our water outreach went wonderfully.  We met people in beautiful downtown Kennett and we even met some people that had attended Covenant Fellowship several times.

Brent survived…and so did the others from his group.  Just that morning, the lying hair was whispering at them.  Now, just hours later, there wasn’t a peep coming from it.  Brent reflects on why:

We had a great afternoon in Kennett. God met us in our labor and our joy. We all ignored the whispers of the lying hair and were blessed as much…perhaps more…than those we met in Kennett. 

When you are tempted to listen to the hair-whispered messages from the back of your neck, remember Brent and his Community Group.  And remember The Tale of the Lying Hair.  The truth of it is…your hair can’t always be trusted to tell you the truth.  That doesn’t mean your hair is bad…it’s just that constant truth telling isn’t its style.

By Rob Flood

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

 

“Until death do us part” means something more…something greater…than staying together until you die.  Yes, it means that, but the vows of love made at a wedding surely are intended to be carried out in a way that honors love and reflects the fruit of the gospel.  While there is something admirable about a husband and a wife finishing together, it is far better…and God-honoring…if they finish well together. 

 

Enter Jonathan and Sarah Edwards.

 

Jonathan and Sarah Edwards had a marriage that was known for its unique sweetness, kindness, and sentiment.  His love for her was well known…and well documented.  So, how does such a great theologian, wonderful pastor, and deep thinker face the end?  Is there grace even for this marriage vow?

 

As he approached his final days, Jonathan Edwards sent a letter to his family with his youngest daughter, Lucy, as its carrier.  Contained within this letter were the following words:

"Dear Lucy, it seems to me to be the will of God, that I must shortly leave you; therefore give my kindest regards to my dear wife, and tell her, that the uncommon union, which has so long subsisted between us, has been of such a nature, as trust is spiritual, and therefore will continue for ever. And I hope she will be supported under so great a trial and submit cheerfully to the will of God. And as to my children, you are now like to be fatherless, which I hope will be an inducement to you all, to seek a Father who will never fail you."

Shortly after Edwards sent his farewell to the wife to whom he was avowed, he turned his attention to the Savior of his soul:

 

"Now where is Jesus of Nazareth, my true and never-failing Friend?"

 

Finally, on March 22, 1758, he went to be with Jesus of Nazareth.

 

The picture, though, is not complete.  We know how Jonathan lived out his vow, until death do us part.  How would Sarah respond…would she have the same focus of appreciation, loss, and gratitude?  Would the gospel be as evident in her response as it was in Jonathan’s?  Her words speak for themselves:

"What shall I say? A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. O that we may kiss the rod, and lay our hands upon our mouths! The Lord has done it. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had him so long. But my God lives; and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband, and your father, has left us! We are all given to God; and there I am, and love to be."

 

The parting of husband and wife is never easy…it is never meant to be easy.   However, though not easy, it can be glorifying to God and it can be gospel centered.  The Edwards show us this.  The Scriptures declare it:

 

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

 

Responding to this Scripture, in his book When Sinners Say I Do, Dave Harvey writes:

 

We don’t grieve as those who have no hope, because we do have hope—amazing, captivating, exultant hope.  The resurrection of the Savior has guaranteed that.  The fire of gospel hope burns deep, even when we feel incapable of feeding it. (p.176)

 

God is the designer of marriage.  He is the sustainer of it.  It is his grace that sustains both husband and wife…until death does part.

By Rob Flood

 

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

 

Our wedding day was a happy one.  Much excitement and expectation.  Fancy clothes, fancy cars, and fancy parties.  On that day, we promised to be faithful, for better or for worse…but all we knew was better.  Who stands in the front of a church at their wedding envisioning the “worse” of the marriage vows?  And yet, we’ve promised before God and man.  So, when “worse” comes, what are we to do?

 

An Example

 

John Bunyan was a nonconformist preacher in the mid 1600s…a man of the Word and a lover of the gospel.  He was widowed with four children, one of whom was blind.  He then met and married his 2^nd wife, Elizabeth.  All of a sudden, this common but godly woman had 4 children under 10, one of whom had unique needs.  Though they remained poor, all seemed well.  Less than two years after their wedding, though, John was arrested for preaching the gospel.  Elizabeth was pregnant with their first child at the time, but the stress of the situation proved devastating to the little one.

 

For 12 years, this common but godly woman cared for her newly adopted family and fought valiantly for the release of her new husband.  On one occasion, as Elizabeth was being questioned by judges regarding John’s imprisonment, she was asked about her children.  Her reply…

 

"My lord, I am but mother-in-law to them, having not been married to him yet full two years. Indeed, I was with child when my husband was first apprehended; but being young and unaccustomed to such things, I being smayed at the news, fell into labor, and so continued for eight days, and then was delivered; but my child died."

 

And yet, she pressed on.  But what of John?  Though her thoughts and efforts were for John, were his equally for her?  Here is John in his own words:

 

The parting with my Wife and poor children hath often been to me in this place as the pulling of the Flesh from my bones; and that not only because I am somewhat too fond of these great Mercies, but also because I should have often brought to my mind the many hardships, miseries and wants that my poor Family was like to meet with should I be taken from them, especially my poor blind child, who lay nearer my heart than all I had besides; O the thoughts of the hardship I thought my Blind one might go under, would break my heart to pieces.

 

Both in anguish over their circumstances…both faithful.  They were faithful to each other and faithful to the gospel.  Upon his release, they were reunited and eventually enjoyed the blessing of having two children together.

 

When we say “I do” in the “better,” there is no way for us to know what the “worse” is or when it will be.  But it can often be encouraging to see the grace of God at work in someone else’s live…in someone else’s “worse.”  It can serve us as we are reassured of God’s faithfulness to us for the inevitable time when our “worse” arrives.  Thank God that he, too, is faithful…for better or for worse.

By Rob Flood 

" To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

 

Many of us say these words as young, healthy men and women full of professional and personal aspirations.  We mean them when we say them, but we make these vows with far more ignorance than knowledge.  And then the rest of our lives, as life overcomes our ignorance, we are called upon to keep the promises we made.

 

When life becomes difficult, knowing what to do isn’t often the biggest challenge.  We remember our vows…we know what to do.  The greater challenge comes in knowing how to do it.  How do you keep a promise that you made when you had no idea how costly those promises would become?  Sometimes, all we need is an example to follow.

 

An Example

 

B.B. Warfield was a seminary professor, theologian, and prolific writer.  At the outset of his ministry, with opportunity filling his future, he married his love, Annie Pearce Kinkead.  Shortly after their wedding, though, Annie became incapacitated and grew to be something of a recluse…eventually being bed-ridden.

 

What was this great, young, promising theologian to do?  Warfield would have been expected to travel much in his work.  How could he do that and care for his wife in her frail condition? 

 

Kim Riddlebarger writes about Warfield:

 

[Warfield] was to spend the rest of their lives together giving [Annie] "his constant attention and care" until her death in 1915.  B. B. Warfield could not have foreseen just how constant and difficult a demand this was to become, and how, in the providence of God, this would impact his entire career…

 

According to most accounts, Dr. Warfield almost never ventured away from her side for more than two hours at a time. In fact, he left the confines of Princeton only one time during a ten-year period, and that for a trip designed to alleviate his wife's suffering which ultimately failed…

 

In the mysterious providence of God, it was the nature of his wife's illness and his devotion to her, that ironically provided the greatest impetus for his massive literary output. Personally vital and energetic, "he did not allow" his wife's illness "to hinder him in his work. He was intensely active with voice and pen."

 

Warfield was not directed by his career ambitions…as Godward as they were.  He was not motivated even by his wedding vows…though clear and binding, they lacked the power to sustain him.  Warfield was motivated by the wonderful goodness of God’s sovereignty.  At rest in the hands of the Father, Warfield allowed the path of his life to be redirected.  He remained faithful…not just to his work…not just to his spouse…but faithful to his God.  There, sustaining power is never ending.

 

Some of you have been facing the reality of your wedding vows in a more tangible way.  What does it look like to keep those vows you made so long ago?  While there are many examples of faithful spouses in the face of sickness, we all have at least one in common now.  Such faithfulness can only be achieved through the One who is faithful to his people.

Editor’s Note:  Quotes were taken from “One Productive Life” – A Short Biography of  B. B. Warfield made known to me through Justin Taylor’s blog. 

By Rob Flood

 

Sometimes, familiarity breeds contempt.  Sometimes, familiarity just breeds familiarity.  And when we are familiar with something, we run the risk of forgetting its value or the privilege of having it around.  Common areas of vulnerability are marriage, parenting, employment, church…pretty much anything.

 

Here in our building, we have the privilege of housing a wonderful local church.  We also have the privilege of housing not just one, but two, organizations that reach far beyond our walls…and our community.  And both are integral parts of our mission.  Let me point them out to you.

 

The Church Planting Group:  Imbedded within our recent senior pastor transition was the retooling of Dave Harvey’s responsibilities.  Among them is the oversight of all church planting within Sovereign Grace.  To help him carry out his duties, Dave has created The Church Planting Group (CPG).

The CPG currently consists of 5 people: Dave Harvey (of course), Mark Prater, Eric Simmons (for a short period of time), Erin Sutherland, and Rob Flood (that’s me).  The CPG exists to serve church plants and church planters through recruitment, assessment, strategic training, and launch support.  What that means is we are very involved with potential, future, and current church planters supporting them and helping our church plants to succeed.  Let me put that another way:  Covenant Fellowship Church plays a significant role in the spread of the gospel and the birth of healthy churches in our nation and beyond.  And the team is located right here in our own backyard.

 

Covenant Mercies:  You are likely more familiar with Covenant Mercies’ presence here, as Doug Hayes, David Mayinja, and Stefan Bomberger are regular contributors to the Friday blog.  According to their website, Covenant Mercies is a “gospel-centered nonprofit organization established for the purpose of serving the poor, the orphan, the widow, and others facing severe adversity in its own Pennsylvania community and beyond.”  And when they say beyond…they mean beyond.

 

While they care for the poor, the orphan, and the widow here locally through things like Homework Club, they provide housing, medical care, clothing and education for orphans in Uganda, Zambia, and Ethiopia.  And all of this while the Christians who provide this care share the gospel and the love of Christ with them.  Let me put that another way:  Covenant Fellowship Church plays a significant role in the spread of the gospel and the care of hundreds of orphans on the other side of the world.  And the team is located right here in our own backyard.

 

As a church, the privilege of housing these organizations also presents us with some opportunities.

 

~   We can come alongside both the Church Planting Group and Covenant Mercies with our prayers. 

~   We can seek opportunities to serve them with our time and talents.

~   We can encourage others to do the same.

 

Who knew that right in our own backyard, we had two teams that are positioned by God to make a global difference?  Who knew that the influence of Covenant Fellowship Church was reaching so far?  Well…now you do.

By Rob Flood

In our most sober moments, we would all agree that communication is important in marriage.  How much communication might be up for dispute, but learning to communicate well and on a variety of issues can go a long way in preventing and resolving marital conflict.

So, in FPU we learn to talk about our finances.  In Vital Life, we learn to talk about our prayer lives.  In Fellowship Groups, we learn to talk about our sin.  There is one thing that sets the marriage relationship apart from all others.  (Not just one thing…but one BIG thing nonetheless.)  So…are we talking about sex?

When was the last conversation you had about money?  When was the last conversation you had about Christ?  Now…when was the last conversation you had about sex?

Far too frequently, sex is a taboo topic.  We may engage in marital intimacy, but we don’t often discuss marital intimacy.  And what are the consequences?

1. Our marital intimacy is not all it could be.  There are expressions of intimacy that you desire, but if you never talk about it, you’ll never know if your spouse agrees or might want the same thing.  Or, perhaps the opposite is true.  Perhaps something is happening in the marital bed that you are uncomfortable with.  But rather than discuss it, you avoid intimacy or hope upon hope that he or she doesn’t do that thing tonight.  Opening the topic of sex up for discussion can avoid all of this and make intimacy a joy for both spouses.
2. Non-sexual elements of our marriages suffer.  When couples struggle with intimacy, bitterness can find root.  “She doesn’t understand how important this is to me.”  “He doesn’t care what matters to me.”  Then, for no real reason, an accidental bump while emptying the dishwasher becomes a big deal.  Thoughtless remarks escape our mouths about the silliest and stupidest things.  We know that they’re silly and we don’t even want to be in conflict over them.  The bitterness takes us by surprise, but it is very real.  Where does it come from?  Trace it back to the root.  Talking about the struggles or difficulties you are having in the bedroom can serve the rest of your marriage.
3. Sex becomes too important in our perspectives.  If we don’t talk about sex as a regular topic in our marriages, it can grow to be a colossal issue in our own minds.  Last year, I wrote a blog that defined the role that sex ought to play in a healthy marriage.  (You can read it by clicking here.)  We do not fix other legitimate problems in our marriage by “jazzing up” our sex lives.  A vibrant sex life ought to flow from a “jazzed up” marriage.  But if we are silent on the topic, with no platform or opportunity to share, we run the risk of losing this helpful balance.

So, while you actively discuss topics such as finances or parenting, consider cracking the seal on a conversation on marital intimacy.  It is a gift of God to marriages…that must be stewarded.  So…steward away.

Editors Note: The purpose of these conversations are to foster mutual enjoyment and respect in marital intimacy.  No venue or discussion should be used to manipulate a spouse to take part in something that he or she is uncomfortable with.  Remember, the goal in these discussions is to edify your spouse and serve your marriage…not edify yourself and serve yourself.

 

By Rob Flood

About a year ago, I read a blog by Tim Challies posted his blog: www.challies.com.  Typically, Tim’s blog focuses on the doctrinal landscape of the contemporary church.  While I cannot say I always agree with his take on things, I can say that I regularly read his blog and enjoy it very much.  On this particular day, though, he left behind the theological issues and wrote about a parenting event in his own life.  My heart was cut to the quick with encouragement and conviction.

I’ve posted the blog in its entirety below along with the link to read it at his site.  May we find ourselves always thinking long term in our parenting.  And may it guide the words we use…and the opportunities we seize.

Got To Get To
Tim Challies

My children have been behaving a little bit strangely at bedtime in recent days. My son tends to be melancholy in the evenings at the best of times but recently has been getting worried as soon as we tuck him into bed. Two nights ago he was concerned that the Sith were going to attack him (how he even knows who the Sith are is beyond me) and last night he was worried that the Japanese were going to invade Canada (I guess he has been reading about the Second World War). I assured him that the Japanese were not going to invade our country but he replied, “Well, they snuck up on Hawaii without the Americans noticing!” This much is true. His little sister feeds off his worries and almost inevitably ends up creating her own.

It generally happens that, by the time we tuck the children into bed, Aileen and I are ready to be done with them for the day. It may sound harsh, but by the end of a long day, we are more than eager to spend an hour or two by ourselves in the living room before also heading for bed. The last thing we want is a parade of children up and down the stairs and a chorus of cries asking us to come upstairs to mediate one problem or another.

Last night, a good hour after I put my daughter to bed, and as I settled into the couch to continue reading through Iain Murray’s biography of Martyn Lloyd-Jones, I heard a cry of “Daddy!” I went to the bottom of the stairs and asked what she wanted. “Will you come and cuddle me?” she called out. I thought about it for a moment and eventually told her that she should already be asleep and that I was not going to come up and cuddle her. Thankfully she soon drifted off and slept well.

As I thought about it a little bit more I realized that I did not want to cuddle her, at least in part, because I had to. I was looking at it as a “got to” situation: “I’ve got to cuddle her.” And I rebelled. It didn’t take me long to regret my decision. She is going to be with us for so few years and for many of those she will no doubt have no desire to cuddle me. And is it so bad for a five-year old to want a cuddle (or another cuddle) before bed? The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a “get to” situation: “I get to cuddle her.”

It’s funny the difference made by that one little letter. Throughout my life I’ve struggled with the got to’s and the get to’s. Church can seem like a “got to” obligation, but it is so much sweeter when I face it as if it is a “get to” privilege. My morning devotions can often feel like a “got to” but I enjoy them so much more when I treat them like a “get to.” Rather than having to face the Bible and prayer in the morning, I see them as an enjoyable privilege. It often makes all the difference in a mind as feeble and sinful as mine.

When Abby stumbled down the stairs this morning, squinting through barely-awake eyes, her hair all askew, I grabbed her up in a big hug and settled onto the couch with her for a few minutes of cuddling. It is something I get to do, at least for a few more years. It was my privilege and my pleasure.

http://www.challies.com/archives/articles/personal-reflections/got-to-get-to.php

By Rob Flood

 

Recently, one of my children was skimming the top of a pool with a skimmer.  The pole must have been about 10 feet long.  While having his concentration fully engaged on the pool, he was oblivious to the long stretch of pole behind him.  With no malicious or pre-meditated intent, he nearly knocked two children into the pool.  Thankfully, no one got pushed in.

 

But it did make me think of the damage we can cause when we are reckless or careless…even unintentionally.  A recent study[1] done at Simmons College in Boston tracked the wide-reaching affects that conflict has on children who witness it.

 

Researchers found that adolescents who reported increased family arguments at age 15 had an increased risk of major depression, alcohol abuse/dependence, drug dependence and antisocial behaviors at age 30, compared with peers who didn’t report more family arguments. And those with more family strife had twice the risk for being unemployed as adults.

 

Those who reported exposure to family violence by age 18 were significantly more likely than peers to have a mental disorder, drug or alcohol abuse or dependence, lower self-esteem, and lower overall life satisfaction at age 30.

 

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that our conflict only impacts those we aim it at.  But selfishness and anger, which lie at the root of our conflict, are not instruments of precision.  They are not highly accurate rifles.  Conflict functions much more like a hand grenade. 

 

When we throw it at our opponent, our enemy, shrapnel flies in every direction often inflicting pain and damage on unintended targets.  And, too often, those are our children.

 

Yet our conviction and sorrow over the damage we cause our children don’t often cause us to adjust the problem.  Many times, we work hard to exchange our grenades for precision instruments of anger.  This is not the answer.  What are we to do is our conflict is hurting those around us?  …work at peace.

 

We might declare that we are not the cause of the conflict.  We are simply married to someone who fights with us all the time.  Maybe we think it is the fault of our contentious teen.  Well…maybe.  But Romans 12:18 removes the blame game altogether.

 

 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

 

If there is no other channel, be the channel of God’s grace into your home.  Allow the young standers-by to observe and experience grace as they see it in you.  Don’t pull the pin on the anger grenade.  Lay down the sniper’s rifle. 

 

Not only will this have a profound impact on your own joy. …not only will this impact your marriage.  But this will also have an immeasurable impact on your children…now and into their future.

 

 

By Rob Flood

Whether you have children or not, we all share a desire for the next generation to grow to love and serve God.  Our faith grows when we see a young man or woman converted and born again.  When we see young men or women serving others in the church, we see God actively handing the gospel from one generation to another…and we rejoice.

Parents uniquely feel this desire because they feel the burden to be on the front lines of passing the gospel to their children.  And, depending on the day, as a dad I fluctuate between a comforting confidence in God’s provision for my children and a staggering lack of confidence in my ability to carry out the plan.  Sometimes, when I think of the enormity of the task, handing the gospel to the next generation causes paralyzing fear.

At times like this, I am thankful for truth.  Truth that declares the greatness of God, the goodness of His plan, and the errorlessness of his ways. (Yes, I think I just made up that word.)  The burden does not rest primarily on our ability as parents, but on our faithfulness.  We don’t need to exhaustively cover Grudem’s Systematic Theology with our children by the time they’re 9 years old.  We just need to be faithful with simple truth.

Consider this quote from J.R. Miller’s excellent book The Family (formally known as Homemaking):

One single fact clearly presented and firmly impressed is better than whole chapters of information poured out in a confused jargon on minds that cannot remember any part of it…If but one fact is presented at every meal there will be a thousand things taught to the children in a year.

~   Homemaking - p.188

It need not rattle the rafters of academia.  We don’t need to discover some previously undiscovered truth in the Bible.  We don’t need a 3-point sermon for each family devotion.  Just as Miller says, “one singe fact” taught and repeated in faithfulness will serve the next generation.

So, how can you carry this out?  Here’s a couple suggestions:

~   Get into the Story: This is Marty Machowski’s devotional intended to help parents with accuracy in faithfulness.  What does that mean?  It means that you provide the faithfulness…the book provides the singe fact clearly presented and firmly impressed.  It is intended to provide 5 days weekly of family devotions…none needing to exceed 15 minutes.  Outstanding resource that has its origins right here in our church.

~   Discipleship Resources for Parents:  In September, the Family Life team of pastors posted a recommended list of parenting and discipleship resources.  If you missed it then, you can download it by clicking here.

The bottom line here is encouraging.  God is not calling you to some grand task that only pastors and theologians can do.  He is calling you to faithfulness.  And once we’ve established our faithfulness, then we entrust the results to a powerful and loving God because sometimes…less is more.

By Rob Flood

 

When I think of marriage and TV news, thoughts of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie come to mind.  Even recent headlines about Mel Gibson flash before my eyes.  Well, if you share these same flashes, I’ve got something different for you today.

 

KARK, a local station in Little Rock, AR experienced an up-close look at a wonderful moment.  Anchor Courtney Collins was the recipient of an “on-air” marriage proposal from fellow reporter, Pete Thompson.

 

Simple.  Eloquent.  Edifying.  Public.  For a little sentimentality, encouragement, and a walk down Memory Lane’s nearby off-shoot, Romantic Road, watch the video below.

 

 

(Our 4 years of living in Little Rock are only partially responsible for the Arkansas focus of this video.  One thing is for sure…local news down there is sure different than local news up here.)

By Rob Flood

If something is going to grow, it needs to be fed and nourished.  It needs to be protected and nurtured.  It needs attention.  Weekend garden warriors turn to products like Miracle Gro.  The more serious home gardeners create their own compost.  The professionals use more “organic” substances that may not be appropriate to discuss here.  Regardless of the product, the idea is to give the garden the necessary, nutritious environment it needs to grow.

We, too, need that nutritious environment if we are going to grow.

The mission statement of our church declares that we exist to treasure, proclaim and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  So, how can we nourish the soil of our lives to not only encourage but enhance our growth?  Is there really such a thing as Miracle Gro for the soul?  Yes…it’s called fellowship. 

We are all gifts to each other intended to encourage and enhance our growth toward Christlikeness.  As we confess our sins to one another…as we exhort and counsel one another…as we humbly ask for care…as we sacrificially give care…we are nourishing the soil for great growth.

Not convinced?  Okay.  It should all become clear if you put yourself in the place of a tomato plant.  Let’s take an especially stubborn and forthright tomato plant as our first example.

“Plant me if you want…don’t plant me…it doesn’t matter.  And, by the way, don’t bother watering me.  I don’t need it.  Sure, the sun is hot but I can take it.  A plant ought to be able to make it by itself in this day and age.  And please, keep that fertilizer away from me.  First of all, it stinks.  Second of all, it stings a bit when it comes near my roots.  And lastly, it makes me look weak and dependant.  I’m fine on my own, thank you very much.”

We don’t need to spend a lot of time imagining the fate of that plant.  It’s a foregone conclusion...that plant is going to die a shriveled death.

Now, let’s take a look at a humble plant that has some sober judgment.

“Plant me!  Please plant me!  Water me and pray for rain.  I need the water…the sun is hot.  I need all the help I can because I know how fragile I am on my own.  Fertilizer?  Bring it on.  The stink and the sting are worth it…they strengthen me.”

This plant will flourish because of its humility…because of its dependence on other elements.

Folks, we are wonderful creations made magnificently by a loving Creator.  However, we were made dependant.  Dependant upon Him.  Dependant upon others.  Each of us is a group project.  And without fellowship…rich, meaningful fellowship…we will shrivel from the sun’s heat and the air’s dryness.  We will starve for lack of food.

If we are truly to grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ, we need each other.  We need confession.  We need support.  We need to care for others.  We need fellowship.  We need fertilizer.

By Rob Flood

In a culture that seeks to redefine the home around preference and correctness, it can be a challenge to set wise boundaries.  It can be a challenge to glean from the culture what is valuable while fending off at the same time all that is inherently negative.  There is one recent and noteworthy example in a Seattle woman named Edith Macefield.

Here is her home:

 

 Nothing impressive…nothing necessarily to brag about…but it’s hers.  As time wore on and the power of the culture began to have its effect on homes in the Seattle area, she would not budge.  Her convictions led her to defend her home in the hopes that she could live within her wise boundaries and enjoy her home for as long as she would like.

She was victorious.  She lived to the age of 86, living steadfastly within her boundaries…having defended her home from the cultural crawl of the world.

Throughout the course of her fight, the culture crept more and more closely to her home…but she would not be shaken.  Here is a picture of her home at the time of her death:

 

Ever feel like Edith?  You try and try to have a peaceful, Christian home but the pull of the culture is right in your backyard.  It’s out every window.  It’s across the street.  Well, take heart.  We have lessons we can learn from Edith.  We can learn courage, determination, conviction and resilience.  But most of all, we can learn steadfastness.

That shopping center that surrounds her house did not define her home.  She defined her home.  And by standing immovably upon her convictions, she was victorious. As believers, we have more power than a determined 86 year old woman.  We have the power of the Spirit.  He will not only lead us in conviction, nor only lead us to His promises.  He will provide the power we need to guarantee victory.

Our call?  Our duty?  To remain steadfast…filled with faith.  He will provide the victory for your home.

By Rob Flood

Have you ever noticed that marital conflict never ends where it began?  When a conflict starts, it may be about something careless word or thoughtless deed.  But when it ends, it somehow seems bigger…like more is at stake.  Why is that?  Let me suggest that more is at stake, and that is why it feels that way.

Whenever a couple enters conflict, suddenly “one flesh” feels at risk.  We are not meant to contend with one another...to be at war with ourselves.  So, when we are, it’s about far more than the subject matter…it’s about “us.”  It’s about “what we are.”  It’s about “who we are.”

And when this uncertainty, when this awkwardness is allowed to continue, it defines our relationship and infiltrates the rest of our lives.  Nothing really seems right when marital conflict is allowed to fester and unresolved marital tension is allowed to remain.

Enter: God’s Word!

Ephesians gives us such clear instruction here…non-compliance is nothing but naked sin.  God lovingly instructs us through Paul when he writes:

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

If we allow the sun to go down on our anger, it does far more than prolong a conflict…it gives an opportunity to the devil.  And once that opportunity is offered, it is most often accepted.  I hear you…I hear you.  “What if my spouse doesn’t want to resolve it before going to sleep?”

Enter: God’s Word!

Again, God instructs us through Paul when he writes 

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:18)

Our obedience is not contingent upon someone else’s obedience.  If you are angry…in conflict…so far as it depends on you, live at peace.  If your spouse is not open to it, you can then release the conflict to God and plead with Him on your spouse’s behalf.  I hear you…I hear you.  “What does that even look like?”

Enter: Sara Groves!

Sara Groves has a song about marital conflict on her album, “The Other Side of Something.”  I personally recommend the album if you like her music.  The song is below, but here’s the bottom line:  you take the initiative to resolve the conflict.  There are no guarantees of how it will turn out…but that’s not the point anyway.  The point is that your contribution is audibly owned, that you express your desire for peace, and that you release everything else to God.  Her song paints this so well.

Roll to the Middle

by Sara Groves

We just had a World War III here in our kitchen
We both thought the meanest things
And then we both said them
We shot at each other till we lost ammunition

This is how I know our love
This is when I feel it’s power
Here in the absence of it
This is my darkest hour
When both of us are hunkered down
And waiting for the truce

All the complicated wars
They end pretty simple
Here when the lights go down
We roll to the middle

No matter how my pride resists
No matter how this wall feels true
No matter how I can’t be sure
That you’re gonna roll in too
No matter what, no matter what
I’m going to reach for you

 

By Rob Flood

Prayer.  Faith.  Godly ambition.  Worship.  These are just some of the things that make our faith vibrant…that are “vital” for our walk with Christ.  And that is why we’ve covered them as primary topics in recent Vital Life classes. 

Mark Prater taught on prayer.  Andy  Farmer taught about how to face our anxieties with faith.  He then taught about how to face our laziness with godly ambition.  Marty Machowski taught about worship Christ as we behold His power.

As a church, we all seek growth in our knowledge, in our character, in the strength of our spiritual lives.  This is why we do Vital Life classes…and this is why we are doing two more.

Beginning this Sunday, the two final classes of the Spring will be offered.  And, like the others, they are intended to equip you, to educate you, and to lift your eyes in wonder at our great God.  Here’s a bit about each.

Straight Talk – Exploring the Purpose and Practice of Communication

Life is full of relationships…and relationships are full of communication.  Whether you're relating to your spouse, your roommate, your boss, your children, or your friends, there is no escaping the importance of communication.  So, if it’s so important, why aren’t we better at it? 

This class will get to the center of why communication is often difficult for us and then cover a number of ways to grow in our skill with it.  The promise held out for all who attend is that the information will be biblical, the help will be practical, and the applied benefit tangible.

Rob Flood will be helping us through the class as he teaches in the Edwards Room (right next to the auditorium across from the stairs.)  Walk-ins are more than welcome.

The God Who Saves – A Closer Look at How God Delivers Us from Sin  

The doctrine of salvation rests at the center of Christ purpose in coming and, therefore, at the center of Christianity itself.  Far from a stoic, dry, and boring topic, how God saves sinners is at the core of the joy we are called to experience as Christians.  This class will walk through how God saves sinners, and how these glorious truths might impact our faith and our lives.

Who needs to know more about this topic?  Who needs to consider attending this class?  You do…I do…we all need to grow in our understanding of salvation, since through God’s salvation we stand to learn so much about God.  The promise held out to all who attend is that you will leave with more than knowing…you will leave with deep wonder at how such things could be.

Jim Donohue will be helping us through the class as he teaches in the Owen Room (upstairs where ECF is normally held.)  Walk-ins are more than welcome.

If you haven’t ever attended a Vital Life class, now is the time.  If you have, then you know that these classes help you on your mission.  And, as a result, they help the church on her mission.

By Rob Flood

Sometimes opportunity knocks so loudly that you just have to answer the door. 

For many of us, there’s been a constant awareness of a chronic need and we’ve been asking for God to deliver a “can’t miss” solution.  Knock…knock…knock.

As a married couple or as a family, purposeful and meaningful time spent in the Word and in prayer can be a serious challenge.  We want to do it…we know we ought to do it…but how can we do it?  Knock…knock…knock.

The pastors have provided a study guide for the upcoming Sunday sermon series, Real Church.  In addition to the many helpful articles and summary sections, there are studies that have been crafted for each message that will be preached.  At just a few questions each, the studies provide an opportunity to interact with the text and the message on a deeper level. 

How can you use this beyond your personal time with God?  Here are just a few suggestions:

-         As a couple:  This study guide can provide structure for both husband and wife to join arms and both come under the Word of God.  By doing so, you will be able to process the message you’ve heard, discuss the passage in light of your personal circumstances, and open doorways to further spiritual conversation.  A jump start like this can be just what a marriage needs to begin to develop the dimension of spiritual conversation that God would have for a Christian marriage.

-         As a family:  If your children are older…in Junior High or High School…they, too, will have heard the Sunday message.  This guide provides a great opportunity to hear them speak of their own faith in their own words.  It also opens up a greater likelihood to hear their thinking in areas where they might not yet believe.  If your children are younger and in Children’s Ministry during the message, this serves as a great opportunity to fold them into what Mom and Dad are learning and share the truths you’ve heard and learned.

-         As a prototype:  After 15 weeks of practice, you’ll be better prepared to ask purposeful questions of each other in the future.  You’ll have an understanding of how to process teaching and preaching.  Using this study guide can literally transform every drive home from church you have from this day forward.  Rather than your conversation being consumed with where to do lunch, or even on how you “liked” the sermon, you can ask purposeful questions that will help you sow the message more deeply into your hearts.

As a pastoral team, we anticipate with great excitement how God will use Real Church to speak to us as a church.  That, in itself, is a wonderful thing.  Additionally, though, if you’ve been waiting for a “can’t miss” opportunity to come right up to your front door, then wait no longer.  Knock…knock…knock.

By Rob Flood

 

Do you ever feel like you would be far godlier if you didn’t need to be a parent?  Do you ever feel like you are a mature, growing Christian until it comes to parenting?  At that point, your godliness goes on vacation and a person you hardly recognize takes over your body for a while?

 

What is it about parenting that seems to destroy, or at least challenge, godliness so consistently?  What is it about godliness that seems to flee when difficult parenting situations come knocking at our doors?

 

As moms and dads, we often have a refined pattern of dealing with our sin.  And we are in relationships with other adults who have refined patterns of dealing with their sin.  So, when we interact with others, we can enter into a dance…a type of sin-waltz…that makes room for our own refined systems and finds respect in others’ refined systems.

 

Our children don’t have these refined systems.  The have good…and they have sin.  And we can grow so accustomed to not having our system stepped on that, when that “allowance” is absent, it brings out the worst in us.

 

And yet, what a glorious thing!  It is often during these parenting situations, where our children refuse to “dance” with us, that we see ourselves for what we truly are.  We see the ugliness of sin…the anger, the selfishness, the idolatry, the impatience, the self-righteousness.  And, if you’re anything like me, you are often shocked and overwhelmed at it.  Honestly, it’s horrific…and it leaves us desperate.

 

We’re desperate for resolution.  We’re desperate for peace.  We’re desperate for love to rule the day.  But are we desperate for God?  Are we desperate for grace?  Do we see just how desperate our need is?

 

I wouldn’t want to be confronted with each and every sin I commit each day, so I’m thankful for the many men and women around me who will dance the “sin-waltz” with me.  But it doesn’t always serve.  As a result, we don’t always see ourselves accurately.  How kind of God to pull the covers back, allowing us to see what we’re really like when left to our own devices.

 

It’s kind because He doesn’t leave us there.  He doesn’t leave us to our own devices…in our own sin…to our own shame.  His grace triumphs when I fail as a parent.  His grace triumphs when I wade…no bathe…in my anger, my self-righteousness, my impatience.  And it comes in greater magnitude than I’ve sinned.  It comes to remind me that God wants to love my children through me.  It reminds me that I’m to lean on Christ, not my own abilities.  And it reminds me of one more thing.

 

That I’m to extend to my children the very grace I’m given by my heavenly Father.  They are sinners, but I am a greater one.  They are in need of grace, but not more in need than I am.  I’ve been given it…we need to give it too. 

 

So, when a parenting situation seems to be getting the best of you…when you feel yourself slipping into the ugliness of what you know is in your heart…when you want more than anything to have a partner that will “dance” with you but your children refuse…remember that God has provided grace more sufficient than your need when parenting and godliness collide.

By Rob Flood

 

Something new is afoot at Covenant Fellowship Church.  And it is resulting in reaching people we previously couldn’t reach.  We have officially begun holding ESL (English as a Second Language) classes right here in the church.  On Wednesday, April 15^th, ESL classes began under the direction of Carlos and Maria Garcia.

 

On the morning of the first Wednesday, we only had 3 people registered.  With that number, the volunteers and teachers outnumbered the registrants.  However, when 7:30 rolled around, 20 students had shown up with the promise of 4 more in the weeks to come.  Praise God!  The students were diverse, too, with their primary languages ranging many nationalities.

 

Carlos was quick to turn his heart to gratitude: to others and to God.  Here are some of his thoughts:

 

“We want to specifically thank those of you who took the time to personally invite people to be part of the program. Many of the students who were there last night were there because of your invitations.”

 

“We acknowledge that none of this would have happened without the Lord’s provision of both volunteers as well as students. We trust that He has provided and that He will continue to do so in the future. May the Lord’s name be blessed!”

 

It is our hope as a church to provide care and education for all those who attend.  But it is much more than that.  We hope God will use these relationships to provide opportunities for His Gospel to be shared and His Kingdom to go forth. 

 

For those in attendance who are believers, we hope that their newfound aptitude with English will provide greater opportunity for their growth and edification, as well as their own sharing of the Gospel.

 

And for those in attendance who are not believers, we ask for your prayers.  Pray that they would experience the love of Christ through the service of our church.  Pray that they would be open to spiritual things and come to faith in Jesus Christ. 

 

And pray for our volunteers.  First, thank God for their service and their sacrifice.  Then ask that God would give them insight and patience in working with the students.  Pray that they would have eyes to see opportunities for eternal matters and then be filled with wisdom and faith for how to seize those opportunities.

 

We are indeed a church rich with a variety of gifts.  And, by God’s grace, we are growing in the diversity of people God draws here.  What a blessing to see God move in God’s way.  And what a blessing that we all get to be a part of it.

By Rob Flood

 

A recent USA Today article highlighted a staggering trend observed in the most recent Population Survey conducted by the Census Bureau:

 

The percentage of American households with children under 18 living at home last year hit the lowest point — 46% — in half a century…

 

The number means little since most of us have no context for it.  However, the phrase that follows…in half a century...provides the necessary context.  So, we’ve hit a 50 year low in young children.  That begs the obvious question…why?

 

Could it be financial?  Kids are expensive, you know.  Could it be career?  The author of the article quotes a prominent demographer who seems to think so:

"[Couples] are getting married at an age when they're enmeshed in careers, and childbearing becomes a bit more thought-out," he says.

Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt…I’m sure the stats back it up.  But it falls far short of answering “why.”  Why is having children being delayed?  Why are children being so limited that we’ve reached a 50 year low? 

 

Is it possible that our culture has lost sight of the blessing of children?  Could it be that we’ve evaluated children on a balance sheet rather than from the pages of eternal truth?

 

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! Psalm 127:3-5

 

Sure it can.  It is no secret that the culture has experienced a multi-faceted shift toward secularism.  It only stands to reason that the perspective on family would follow.  But that’s not the question that ought to hang in our hearts.  The question we ought to bring home with us is this:  How has this shift affected my own perception of children?

 

Slow, steady shifts in culture often find their tentacles reaching into the church.  It’s not due to the strength of the shift as much as the weakness of our own convictions.  So, we should ask ourselves: How are we viewing children?

 

• Are they a heritage? …a gift?
• Are they a reward?
• Are we blessed as we have more of them?

And, if we are thinking rightly about children, how does this affect our actions toward them?

 

• Does our speech reflect their worth?
• Do our priorities reflect their priority to God?

Covenant Fellowship Church is a place that clearly and consistently values children.  This is evident in your families as well as the priority placed on children’s ministry.  So, this comes not by way of correction…but caution.  The tentacles of wrong thinking are quiet and wily.  They are patient.  And so, we must be faithful to be proactive.  We must be willing to ask hard questions.  Our thinking must be sharp and intentional so we’re not asking down the road, “Where have all the children gone?”

 

Article quotes taken from the February 26, 2009 edition of USA Today entitled,
“Number of Households with Kids Hits New Low.”

By Deb Demi

 

When we first moved to this area in 1986 from South Carolina we had 5 kids 7 years old and under.  Not only did we have all these kids, we didn’t know anyone, had no family in the area and had a very tight budget.  But one thing that we knew was the importance of spending time alone as a couple.  Dating was something that we had practiced since we first got married. So, it was at this point in our lives that Friday night “home dates” were born. 

 

Here’s how it would work…I would feed the kids (usually macaroni and cheese) before Jeff came home from work.  And to keep things interesting, we would take turns planning the date – though Jeff usually had more energy at this time in the day.  Once he walked in the door, he would release me to get ready for the evening while he often prepared the bathroom by cleaning the bathtub, setting up music, books, and candles, so that I could take a nice hot bubble bath.  While I was relaxing, he would spend time with the kids and get them settled for the evening.

 

Usually the date would officially begin by 7:30.  The littlest ones went to sleep while the older few were allowed to quietly play games or read in their rooms.  It was actually an exciting evening for them too – I think that they sensed my excitement and Jeff’s care.  As they got older and more kids were added to our family, the older ones would orchestrate their time upstairs – it was their first opportunity to babysit.

 

After the kids were given specific instructions, we would either order in or I would buy something special at the grocery store ahead of time, and we would spend the first half hour preparing our dinner together…alone.  Being at home gave us the option of eating in front of the fireplace, out on the screen porch or even in our bedroom as we engaged in conversation. 

 

At first I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of staying home for a date night – the place I spent my entire day – but as the weeks went by a special fondness in my heart grew for these times.  As a matter of fact, I began to prefer them over the rigmarole of picking up a babysitter, giving instructions, and spending more money on the babysitter than the date.  We also became more creative with what we could do during a home date J…

 

So how about you?  Do you have small children or a limited budget?  Why not consider a home date?  I think that the investment into our marriage when our kids were young made a difference in our marriage today.  Even though all 5 of those kids are now old enough to babysit, occasionally we still prefer the good ole home date.

By Stefan Bomberger

 

You probably have many reasons you are pro-life.  But what if you were asked this in a supermarket line or by the person sitting next to you on a bus or plane?  Could you answer it in 30 seconds?  Could your short answer do your convictions justice?

 

A recent pro-life training class was given this challenge by Lindsey Hoban.  She is a fellow church member and law student at Drexel. The challenge was to prepare a clear and concise defense as to why they are pro-life; something that could be shared in about 30 seconds. And something that is persuasive, taking into consideration many of the counter-arguments before they are even spoken.

 

To this end, she gave us a sample which she regularly uses with her friends, classmates, and teachers. It was excellent, I’ve included it in the blog today for everyone’s benefit:

 

“How do we know when a member of the human race isn't a person? A line has to be drawn where personhood begins.  Everyone is drawing a line—whether they realize it or not.  Conception is the most logical, scientifically defendable place to draw that line because conception marks the beginning of a genetically distinct, unitary human being maturing through self-directed development.”

 

“Every time in history that we’ve made personhood contingent on anything other than membership in the human race, the consequences have been horrific (declaring slaves as non-persons; the Holocaust).  The power to deny personhood is the power to strip rights and destroy.  We should take great pause before saying that another human is not a person.”

 

Notice five key concepts Lindsey introduces in her argument:

 

1.      Genetically distinct – “Genetically distinct” means that an embryo is a different organism than the mother (different DNA).  In contrast, sperm and egg cells aren't distinct organisms; they're just another one of mom and dad's cells.  At the end of 9 months, an unfertilized egg is still one cell, no infant.

 

2.      Human being – An embryo is fully human. An embryo isn’t a “potential life”.  It may be a “potential adult”, just like an adolescent, but they’re already alive.

 

3.      Unitary – An embryo is a group of cells—but it's a different kind of group than the cells I lose when I cut my finger.  The difference is that an embryo is a unitary organism while the blood in my band-aid isn't. I can cut my finger and lose a group of cells but I haven't lost a human being.             

 

4.      Maturing – In the proper environment, embryos mature at a rapid pace. Unless severely damaged or lacking nutrients, there is a “gapless continuum” of development. 

 

5.      Through self-directed development – An embryo’s development is self-directed—not extrinsically determined.  It has DNA information and has active disposition to use that information.

 

I’d encourage you to take up Lindsey’s challenge.  Grab a piece of paper and give it a shot creating your own, 30-second answer. What would you say when someone asks you why you are pro-life?

 

Editor’s Note: For more information and reading on the issue of abortion, consider these two fine resources by Randy Alcorn:  “Why Pro-Life” and “Pro-Life Answers to Pro-Choice Arguments.”

By Rob Flood

 

You may remember the account of the two women standing before King Solomon, both claiming to be the mother of the same baby boy. (1 Kings 3:16ff)  Each makes her case before the freshly crowned king, neither proving to be especially persuasive.  So, after recounting his confusion, Solomon commands the unthinkable: “Bring me a sword.”

 

Solomon’s proposal was to split the boy in half…that way, the women could share the boy.  Perhaps a less drastic “fair” proposal might have been shared custody, but Solomon was about the business of proving a point.  So Solomon chose the most extreme form of fairness.  While one of the women thought this was a fine idea, the other would have none of it:

 

Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means put him to death.

1 Kings 3:26

 

Imagine…this woman was his rightful mother.  Yet, rather than take the way of “fairness,” she chose the way of “love,” at her own cost.  Because of her love for the boy, she would rather give him away and do without him than see him destroyed.  Of course, Solomon saw this maternal love and granted her full custody of the boy, delivering him from death.

 

This may cause you to think of another time where love surpassed fairness.

 

He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.

Psalm 103:10

 

The “fair” way to deal with fallen mankind is to sentence us to death…consign our fate to hell.  Could it be more fair?  After all, we’ve earned it.

 

For the wages of sin is death.

Romans 6:23

 

But God, from a place of love, chose to address the issue of fairness in another way.  Rather than settle it with each of us, on the account of our sins, He chose to settle it on the cross of Christ.

 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,

that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

 

God has not dealt with us our of fairness…He has dealt with us out of love.  We all stand on the favorable side of the fairness equation.  We all stand indebted to a God of love.

 

So the next time your spouse says something unkind…or even inaccurate…you have a choice to act out of “fairness” or “love.”  The next time your children are clearly wrong, you have a choice to act out of “fairness” or “love.”  Will you act as one who is in the right?  Or will you act as one who is indebted to the love of a forgiving God?  Could this be what God meant when He inspired these words in Colossians 3:13-14?

 

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;
as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love,
which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 

The near future is bound to present all of us with a time when we are in the right…when someone in our lives is clearly in the wrong.  Your heart may well up within you commanding the unthinkable: “Bring me a sword.”  Catch yourself and remember your own indebtedness to our loving God.  And remember that there really are times when love surpasses fairness.

 

 

Posted by Rob Flood

 

Some of us have decades behind us in our marriage and some have weeks. Some are excited about the road they’ve traveled…some devastated by it.  And some are eager for more while others can’t imagine traveling even one more step down the road.

 

Too often, in our potentially well-motivated desire to understand the road ahead, we can allow the past to define our future.  If the past is bright, we assume that the future will be.  If the past is bleak, then so too the future will be.  When we fall into that trap, we’ve lost sight of the central truth upon which the success or failure of the future rests…the presence of God.

 

Consider this quote from Love that Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci:

 

Regardless of how many miles you’ve already traveled, so much of the glorious adventure of marriage is still before you.  Whether you are enjoying open road and clear skies, or whether you are struggling up yet another mountain in stormy weather…whether you are just pulling out of your driveway or nearly to the end of the trip home…God is there with you to help you finish the journey, and finish it well.

 

If the road behind you has been bright, are you able to see the hand of God preserving you on your journey?  If it has been bleak, can you see His sustaining and comforting hand?  He was there…each step of the way.

 

And He will be there for your next step.  The brightness or bleakness of the road ahead is not best determined by the circumstances.  It is determined by the nearness or farness of God.  And whether the skies are clear and sunny or overcast and stormy, God will be there.  He has promised to be.  He has a proven track record of being there in the past.  There was a man upon a cross upon a hill slain to purchase us for God.  He did not purchase you only to abandon you…or your marriage.

 

So, regardless of the condition of the road ahead, look for God.  He will be there leveling the path…and holding your hand as you navigate the rocks.  Don’t take my word on it…take His:

 

Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.

I will not leave you or forsake you.

Joshua 1:5

 

 

I am with you always, to the end of the age. 

Matthew 28:20

Posted by Rob Flood

 

On Saturday night, we had a wonderful time in the Word and in Q&A discussion as we pondered and applied our Family Life Values from our recent Sunday morning series. (You can listen to the messages HERE.)  One running theme through the night was how to keep marriage a priority in the midst of schedule and parenting demands.  Below are some of the ideas that were shared.

 

1. Date Night:  For those that have been a part of Covenant Fellowship Church for long, this is not a revolutionary idea…you’ve heard it quite a bit.  But we can never be reminded too often about its importance.  If you haven’t been around for long, here’s what we’re talking about.
   
   Take one night a week, or every other week, and devote it to each other.  It may involve leaving your home for a restaurant or coffee shop or staying home, but it is a night devoted to marriage.  The idea is to talk as adults…as husband and wife…not as mom and dad.  Recall the conversations you had before you were married…dreams, desires, goals…and add to that conversations you’ve had since marriage…romance, intimacy, communication…and revisit them all on date night.

 

2. Problem Solving Night: Pick one night a week or every other week to discuss major issues.  It may be a marital issue…it may be a big picture parenting issue.  By the very nature of it being big picture, there is no urgency to it.  Maybe it’s a pattern of behavior for the wife or husband…maybe a sin pattern with one of the children…save the big discussions over the issue for problem solving night.  That way, these bigger ticket items don’t crowd out other conversations.  They don’t pop up on date night or family night when fun should be the order of the day.
    
3. Family Night: “I thought we were talking about marriage.”  We are.  But many of you still have children in your home.  So, consider them.  Give them a night each week that is dedicated to them…for them to look forward to.  Make it a fun night…perhaps board games, or a fun family video, or a trip to the park.  Don’t make it expensive, as you’ll have to repeat it each week.  Do make it memorable and do make it child centered.  That way, as your children see you leaving on date night as a couple, they know they have their night, too. 
   
   And, once you start family night…stay faithful.  Don’t miss one.  You’ll be surprised at how quickly the children look forward to it.  And, you’ll be equally surprised at how willingly they release you to be a husband or wife if they know that you’ll be a mommy or daddy, too.
    
4. Modeling Marriage:  Perhaps the greatest way to prioritize marriage in your home is to model the priority of marriage.  Help your children see their father as a husband…their mommy as a wife.  Talk to each other as spouses in front of the children.  When the kids ask you to play, let them know that you want to serve mommy or daddy first, and ask them to join you in that.  If it is true that more is caught than taught, then we have a golden opportunity to teach about the priority of marriage as we model it…they will catch it more.

 

As we seek to prioritize marriage in our homes, we are all well served when we do it in community. Talk to others about what they do.  Help hold each other accountable …encourage one another in this area.  Confess known sin to each other and invite the input of other couples into your home…your family…your marriage.

Posted by Rob Flood

 

My grandmother’s purse was one of the most incredible objects in all of creation.  At times, we were sure it was Mary Poppins’ carpet bag.  It didn’t matter whether I needed a tissue or a vile of anti-venom…it was in there.  Ace bandages right next to a pack of Wrigley’s Doublemint gum…an air pump right next to her wallet.  Even though she walked with one shoulder clearly lower than the other…she was intentional and we all benefitted from it.

 

What if we took that type of intentionality with our children and grandchildren?  What would it look like for a grandparent to see their role in the lives of their grandchildren as purposeful…intentional?  Well, we have at least one glimpse.

 

The pastors recently received an email from Vince and Regina Rinchuiso.  In an effort to express their gratitude for our recent sermon series, they shared these thoughts with us:

 

We wanted to thank you for the current series on Family Life Values  these past weeks.   As  new grandparents we take this responsibility seriously and during a recent visit with our grandson Jude we took the opportunity to expose him to some “light” reading materials.

 

What a great example of grandparents wanting to build into the next generation.  They sent us a photo that I trust will communicate both their love for their grandson and a bit of their love for the Savior.

 

 

 

They concluded their email with this sentence: 

 

The earlier the better is our theory!

 

Well done, Vince and Regina.  And may this adorable snapshot provoke us all toward intentionality.  We’ll all benefit from it.

Posted by Rob Flood

You’ve heard of the proverbial frog in a pot?  You know the one that immediately jumps out if the water is boiling, but stays in to his peril if the water is heated slowly?  Well, let me ask you a question…have you felt like a frog recently?  Some recent data reveals that we all might be a bit froggy.  Take a look.

According to a recent survey published by USA Today, our nation is steadily becoming non-religious.  And I don’t mean drifting slowly…I mean an avalanche of turning from religion. The survey took place over the course of nearly 20 years and was done state by state.

The interactive graph and the full-length article can be found by clicking these links:

Graph - Here

Article - Here

What are we to do with information like this?  What does it have to do with us?

There can often be an assumption that America has heard the gospel.  That our nation…our neighbors…know what Christianity is all about.  That most of the people we know believe in God and have faith that influences their lives.  These assumptions are increasingly false.

As a church, we exist to Treasure, Proclaim, and Grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  This survey is another reminder that part of our mission is to Proclaim.  There are people around the world that have never heard the gospel.  There are entire cultures that have no idea that Christ came…that Christ died…and that Christ rose again.  They are often known as “unreached people groups.” 

As we have a heart to reach those nations with the gospel of Jesus Christ, we need to see the gospel ignorance in our own nation.  We need to see the lack of awareness that our own neighbors have of this Christ who came, died, and rose again.  We are living in the midst of unreached people.  Our mission…and the Great Commission…beckon us to reach them.

How?

• Sharing the Gospel:  Our church has created a wonderful tract for those who want help in sharing the gospel with their neighbors.  It is called How Good are You?  Pick up a copy by the information desk or contact the church.
• Living the Gospel:  Seek to have upright relationships with your neighbors.  Seek to know them.  Grill some hot dogs in the front of your driveway and invite your neighbors to pull up a blanket and share.  Invite the couple next door on a walk around the block.  Ask them how they’re doing.  Engage with them in care and conversation and let them see Christ in you.
• Invite them to Alpha:  Our next course begins April 15^th.  Alpha is a great way for them to wrestle with questions of faith in a safe and informative environment.  And it works.

 In the end, we all need to acknowledge that we’ve been a bit froggy.  It’s time for us to notice that the water around us is changing, to jump out, and to take action.  It’s time for us to reach those who are currently unreached.  It’s time for us to proclaim!

Posted by Rob Flood

As perfect as I thought marriage was going to be, I didn’t account for one important truth: I’m a sinner.  And, to be honest, I forgot another one: so is Gina.  And so, there we were…young, inspired, and in love…surprised that we each took our pride into our marriage.

With the wounding of our pride, apologies were slow to come and taking responsibility for our initial difficulties wasn’t something either of us was eager to do.  Now, 13 years later, we see the folly of our ignorance.  Yet, we still sometimes get caught up in our own pride and are surprised by the unavoidable reality of sin.

I find my own heart adjusted by a quote from J.R. Miller’s book formerly called Home-Making, now called The Family:

Pride must have no place in wedded life.  There must never be any standing upon dignity, nor any nice calculation as to whose place it is to make the apology or to yield first to the other…The pride that will never say, “I did wrong; forgive me,” is not ready for wedded life. (p.27)

-   Never any standing upon dignity: How we look in a given conflict or situation should not rise to the front of our minds nor the center of our hearts.  As husband or wife, we need to see this for what it is…pride.  Any concern for managing how we look in a given situation is what Miller means by standing upon dignity.  We’re called to a love that has less of “us” in it than that. 

-   Whose place it is to make the apology: Our pride is such a funny thing.  We can know with all certainty that we’ve committed an offense and still delay an apology because, according to our perception, our spouse’s offense is greater.  Oh how we deceive ourselves.

Pride does not readily say, “I did wrong.”  And it never allows itself to come humbly before another and ask forgiveness.  Which is why Miller says that pride must have no place in wedded life.  And yet, here we are, married and prideful.  What are we to do?

First, simply call it what it is…pride.  Learn to recognize it.  It has a harsh tone and a sour odor.  It often starts by tasting sweet, but always ends with bitterness on the palate.  Once you recognize it…track it.  If you’re anything like me, you’ll be surprised by how often it rears its ugly head.

Next, war against it through confession.  Confess to your spouse and your God each time you see, taste, or smell it.  Don’t tire of this good work…it is a tireless battle that demands courage and endurance.

Last, destroy it with humility.  Don’t wonder whose place it is to make the apology…jump on the opportunity to do it first.  Don’t seek ways to make yourself appear better…confess wrongdoing that your spouse would have no knowledge of without your confession.

Miller’s counsel is the most sound.  He says pride has no place in wedded life.  In other words, leave your pride at the door.  If you’ve allowed pride to come in the front door, then get tough with it and kick it out the back door…or a window.  Upon its demise, you will find that a far more tender love has come for the task of a God-centered marriage…for the glory of God.

Posted by Rob Flood

What a wonderful time together we had Saturday night during the Family Life Meeting, No Regrets? The parents of Covenant Fellowship Church are our heroes. You are in the trenches each day, year in and year out, active in the plan of God as you call forth the next generation.

We mentioned at the meeting that we would post a recommended list of resources to help you as you labor for the Lord and for your children. This list is a compilation of resources that the pastors of the church have found to be solid and/or useful.

We hope you find them helpful.

You can download the resource list here.

By Rob Flood

Whether your children are 2, 4 and 6 or 12, 14, and 16 you’ve had this thought more than once. The topics may range from putting down the potty seat to cleaning the bedroom floor…from asking to be excused from the table to how the family defines appropriate clothing. You were clear the first time you explained yourself. You were patient the second time you explained yourself. But now, here we are…are we really talking about this again?

Yep. And you’ll probably be talking about it again tomorrow.

Our children don’t learn the first 10 times we explain something for the same reason we don’t learn the first 10 times that friends, family, and God have explained something to us. We are all members of the same, sorry fraternity / sorority. We’re all still sinners.

By the very nature of that truth, our ears can be slow to hear and our hearts slow to respond. Is this not also true about our children? It is about mine. And, to eliminate any doubt in the spirit of honesty, it’s true about me. So, how’s a parent to respond?

Let’s look at how our Father responds the 16th time He reminds us about something He’s said:

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)

God’s responses to us are always for our good and always consistent with love and faithfulness. Does He sometimes allow hardship to accompany our forgetfulness? Yes. “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6) To what lengths is He willing to go in order to help us incorporate His Truth into our lives? He sacrificed Himself for our sakes.

Our children are going to forget, or even choose not to remember, our instruction. Should that bring negative consequences at times? Certainly. Yet, those consequences should always be for them. Our responses to our children ought to reveal that we are their biggest cheerleaders instead of an ominous warden.

So, the 6th time your 9-year-old leaves his shoes at the top of the stairs or the 9th time your 15-year-old leaves their clothes 3 feet from the hamper or the 22nd time your 4-year-old chews with their mouth open, remember the Fatherly example set for you.

Mercy, love, and grace are possible, even in correction and discipline, when we are submitted to being used by God in the lives of our children. Remembering our own propensity for forgetting is a wonderful place to start. With that humility leading the way, God will pour grace into your 41st conversation about the same thing…He loves to give grace to the humble.

By Rob Flood

I remember watching a 1^st grader enthralled with his new sandals…the ones that light up when you walk in them. Walking down the hall, he was watching the pretty red lights coming from under his feet. And, as he studied the blinking, he never saw the wall that snuck up on him…WHACK! Don’t worry…after shaking his head a couple of times, he walked off, just fine…and still looking at the lights.

We can sometimes be so consumed with our next steps that we forget to lift our eyes and look at the end of the journey. What would mature, godly love look like at the end of the journey? How about in genuine hardship? Here’s a snapshot of genuine love at the end of a journey.

Robertson McQuilkin was the president of a seminary and prominent in his field. However, as his wife Muriel grew worse with Alzheimer’s Disease, he made the decision to leave his position and care for her full time. The following was part of his farewell letter to the constituents of Columbia Bible College

 

 

The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health…’til death do us part.” So, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt.

Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don’t have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.

 

 

 

Not everyone is in a position to leave their job and provide this type of care. However, we are all in a position to provide this type of love. God is at work in us to love our spouse in a way that reflects His own love for us. Thank you, Dr. McQuilkin, for your example.

Now that we’ve looked at the end of the journey, it’s time to return to the steps in front of us. Are you on a path that leads to that end? Are you cultivating the love for your spouse that will withstand such trials? True devotion to your spouse is fruit from true devotion to your Savior. If Dr. McQuilkin’s example provokes you, then pour mightily into your relationship with Christ…in the end, your love for your spouse will smell as sweet as that shared between Robertson and Muriel…to the glory of God.