By Rob Flood

 

Sometimes, familiarity breeds contempt.  Sometimes, familiarity just breeds familiarity.  And when we are familiar with something, we run the risk of forgetting its value or the privilege of having it around.  Common areas of vulnerability are marriage, parenting, employment, church…pretty much anything.

 

Here in our building, we have the privilege of housing a wonderful local church.  We also have the privilege of housing not just one, but two, organizations that reach far beyond our walls…and our community.  And both are integral parts of our mission.  Let me point them out to you.

 

The Church Planting Group:  Imbedded within our recent senior pastor transition was the retooling of Dave Harvey’s responsibilities.  Among them is the oversight of all church planting within Sovereign Grace.  To help him carry out his duties, Dave has created The Church Planting Group (CPG).

The CPG currently consists of 5 people: Dave Harvey (of course), Mark Prater, Eric Simmons (for a short period of time), Erin Sutherland, and Rob Flood (that’s me).  The CPG exists to serve church plants and church planters through recruitment, assessment, strategic training, and launch support.  What that means is we are very involved with potential, future, and current church planters supporting them and helping our church plants to succeed.  Let me put that another way:  Covenant Fellowship Church plays a significant role in the spread of the gospel and the birth of healthy churches in our nation and beyond.  And the team is located right here in our own backyard.

 

Covenant Mercies:  You are likely more familiar with Covenant Mercies’ presence here, as Doug Hayes, David Mayinja, and Stefan Bomberger are regular contributors to the Friday blog.  According to their website, Covenant Mercies is a “gospel-centered nonprofit organization established for the purpose of serving the poor, the orphan, the widow, and others facing severe adversity in its own Pennsylvania community and beyond.”  And when they say beyond…they mean beyond.

 

While they care for the poor, the orphan, and the widow here locally through things like Homework Club, they provide housing, medical care, clothing and education for orphans in Uganda, Zambia, and Ethiopia.  And all of this while the Christians who provide this care share the gospel and the love of Christ with them.  Let me put that another way:  Covenant Fellowship Church plays a significant role in the spread of the gospel and the care of hundreds of orphans on the other side of the world.  And the team is located right here in our own backyard.

 

As a church, the privilege of housing these organizations also presents us with some opportunities.

 

~   We can come alongside both the Church Planting Group and Covenant Mercies with our prayers. 

~   We can seek opportunities to serve them with our time and talents.

~   We can encourage others to do the same.

 

Who knew that right in our own backyard, we had two teams that are positioned by God to make a global difference?  Who knew that the influence of Covenant Fellowship Church was reaching so far?  Well…now you do.

By Andy Farmer

 

Note:  This is the seventh in a series of posts on Christian liberty based on a pastoral letter written by John Newton in 1776.  For background on the letter see the 6.18.09 post.  You can read the letter in its entirety HERE.

 

John Newton was a man who was acutely aware of the time he had wasted in life before submitting himself to the Savior.  He carried a deep desire to use his remaining time on earth in spiritual productivity.  But he also recognized a certain folly in activity blindly done, even spiritual activity. 

 

He understood that work in the world was taxing, but that simply bouncing the intensity of everyday life and throwing ourselves into some spiritual activity to compensate wasn’t sustainable Christianity.  He understood that leisure had its place, if for nothing else then providing a pause in life from constant secular, or even spiritual, pursuits. 

 

Newton would appreciate the value of a walk in the woods, a good book, hanging out with friends, listening to music, a good meal and all that goes with it.  But he also saw the snare in escaping into liberties with the same intensity.  Why? Because more than anything else, what we do in our liberty has the greatest possibility of any endeavor of wasting the precious time God has given us.  

 

We’re talking about uses of liberty such as the couch potato, the internet zombie, the gaming geek and the gym junkie.  Activities that justify intense leisure because we have just been doing intense work, or intense ministry.  Things taking over our time and our lives like weeds in a garden.   Here we need to nail the exhortation of the apostle Paul to our mental doorpost:

 

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,  making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph. 5:15-17)

 

Newton’s solution to the balance problem in life is simple.  In considering the preciousness of time, we should not be compelled to constant productivity, but should allow our rest to have its appropriate effect.  Not to retreat from spiritual productivity but to refresh for renewed spiritual productivity.

 

By Deb Demi

Sometimes, I want my kids to be hypocrites.  Well, that's not really what I want, but sometimes I have a desire for them to look good and act godly even if it's just on the outside. When I see ungodly behavior or even a lukewarm spirit in one of my children, my heart can jump into fear mode.  When I don't see them raise their hands in worship...when they seem to have no desire for the Word...when they lack respect for authority, speak disrespectfully, arrive late to church, don't want to attend Cross Culture, or get into trouble...I can respond in fear rather than in faith. 

What does this fear look like in me?  I begin to worry and to feel hopeless - wondering if God will ever grip their hearts. Then in response to these feelings, I act as if God needs my help.  I abandon my trust in God and nag, manipulate, yell, plead, mope and sinfully compare instead.  And I trick myself into thinking that God will be sympathetic to my fear instead of seeing it as sin.

Obedient, respectful, and polite children might make our lives easier and less stressful…and that’s not all bad.  However, what we really want are children whose hearts are gripped by the Lord.  I don't really desire for my kids to look wonderful on the outside yet be far from their Savior. I don't desire for my kids to be motivated to act godly because I'm nagging and threatening them.  I want my kids to act godly because God has worked in their hearts.  My desire is that they would glorify God with their lives because of their gratitude to the One who has saved them.  But that gratitude can only come from God.

So what do we do when we're tempted to fall into fear?  

 

~   Look at Jesus' Example.  Even when His disciples did not seem to respond to truth, Jesus did not fall into fear but continued to do what God entrusted Him to do by faithfully teaching, training, encouraging and occasionally rebuking them. He knew that illuminating the truth was a work of God.  And, when the Holy Spirit did come and their eyes were opened, everything that Jesus had taught them suddenly made sense.  These hopeless-looking men became men who changed the world for Christ.  In the same way, our faith-filled efforts to train, teach, encourage and rebuke our children will not be wasted.  When the Holy Spirit opens their hearts to the gospel, they will remember the truths they were taught. 

~   Entrust Them to God.  As parents, we have a unique privilege to bring our kids before the throne of grace and entrust them to the One who is able to make blind eyes see (Is. 29:18), to breathe life into dead bones (Ezek. 37), and to bring a whole nation out of Abraham who was as good as dead (Heb. 11:12).  I'm walking in faith when, instead of using sharp words, I ask God to deal with their hearts and then choose to speak kindly. Instead of inwardly fretting, I can pray that God would do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine.

I know that God is calling me to greater faith for my children.  He is calling me to stop parenting out of fear and start parenting out of the strength of real faith.  As a result, I’m being called to fully entrust my children's hearts to His goodness, mercy and love. I wonder if He might not be calling you to the same thing.

Editor’s Note: For more reading on the issue of faith versus fear, here's an article by Carolyn Mahaney called "Effective Mothering is Born of Faith Not Fear."

By Trish Donohue

At the beach recently, some girlfriends and I were meandering among the shops.  In one particular shop, a friend was trying on some beachy tops and a couple sundresses.  They were stylish and fun, but I knew they were a bit too revealing for me to try.  Yet, a quick thought of resentment rushed to my mind, “I could pull that off and look good but of course I can’t.”  There it was, an ugly mix of my own selfishness, vanity, and worldliness in one quick moment. Teenage girls aren’t the only ones in the battle…moms with minivans fight, too.

God helped me remember the rightness and wisdom of his decrees about modesty…and gratitude for his plan followed.  But even as I write the word, modesty, I’m aware that I’d prefer a different word.  It’s a bit musty, after all—a bit prudish, outdated, even embarrassing.  I want to declare, I am relevant!  I’m not an old stodgy church lady in a housedress!  The only little problem is, modesty is God’s word. (1 Timothy 2:9) It’s God-breathed, from the lips of the divine Creator and Wardrobe Director. Oops.

So what will prevail: fear of man or fear of God?  Will I let the culture tell me to scoff at God’s perfect truth?  Or will I see modesty for the beautiful, wise plan God says it is?

On Sunday, July 19th, Jim had the opportunity to address the men after Jared’s excellent message. That’s when we were ushered into the very chatty lobby and during light conversation, glimpsed the mass of sober male faces through the auditorium’s glass doors.  What were they talking about in there? 

The topic was sexual purity, or lack thereof.  The percentage of Christian men who seriously struggle with impurity is staggering.  During that short time, many of our brothers were on their knees, crying out for power to change and for help in grave temptation.

Can we change the Vanity Fair that surrounds them?  Can we reform TV, movies, ads, newspapers, billboards, workplaces, even cereal boxes that present challenges?  Probably not.  But can we add our voice of support by obeying God and dressing in a way that prevents further temptation?  Yes.  Even if it means passing up an opportunity to impress someone?  By God’s grace, yes.

Listen girls, it’s easy to downplay our role in this important battle. However, greater effort and attention from all of us in this area will not only honor God, but may bring a respite to some of the weary saints. 

So goodbye breezy sundress.  I’ll find you in a better style.  And hopefully a better sale.   

By Jared Mellinger

Those who follow Christ should be people with a single focus in life.  We can say, with Paul in Philippians 3:13, “One thing I do.”  That is the motto of those who live for the glory of God.  Paul understood that he was created to have one great passion in life.  He sits in prison and calmly writes “To live is Christ. (Phil 1:21)  This is the Christian’s resolve.  One version translates it, “If I live, it will be for Christ.” 

Clearly, Paul is a man of one thing.  He essentially says, “OK, if I have been given the gift of life, I am going to spend my every breath for Christ.  I refuse to abandon the reason for which I was made; I refuse to waste my life.  I refuse to commit cosmic treason and turn my back on the Creator and Ruler of the universe, the Christ who made me, the Christ who died for me, the Christ before whom I will one day stand and give an account of my life.  If I live, it will be for Christ.”

Is that your perspective?  In difficult trials and in easy circumstances, in suffering and in joy, at work and at home, in youth and in old age, in singleness and in marriage?  

It reminds me of what J.C. Ryle says on the subject of zeal:

“Zeal in religion is a burning desire to please God, to do His will, and to advance His glory in the world in every possible way….
A zealous man in religion is pre-eminently a man of one thing.  It is not enough to say that he is earnest, hearty, uncompromising, thorough-going, whole-hearted, fervent in spirit.  He only sees one thing, he cares for one thing, he lives for one thing, he is swallowed up in one thing; and that one thing is to please God.  Whether he lives or whether he dies, whether he has health or whether he has sickness, whether he is rich or whether he is poor, whether he pleases man or whether he gives offence, whether he is though wise or whether he is thought foolish, whether he gets blame or whether he gets praise, whether he gets honor or whether he gets shame—for all this the zealous man cares nothing at all.  He burns for one thing; and that one thing is to please God, and to advance God’s glory.”    

Can you relate to that?  Only seeing one thing, caring for one thing, living for one thing, swallowed up in one thing, burning for one thing, and that one thing is to live for Christ.  Do you have passion to see God glorified in your life?  Is there anything you find yourself caring about more than the honor of Christ in your life?  Is there anything you need to part ways with in order to honor Christ more?

Let’s be Christians who look at our lives and resolve with a single minded focus, “By the grace of God, in life and in death and in all that I do, Christ will be honored in me.”

By David Mayinja

Whenever I visit Covenant Mercies’ programs in Uganda, the agenda is packed and I’m apprehensive if all that is planned for the trip will be achieved. Nonetheless, there is a lot to look forward to – the children that we care for who rush out to greet me with heart melting smiles; the warm greetings from the family parents that watch over them; the ululations of joy from our staff members on the ground; the exhilarating praise and worship on Sunday, and sweet fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the local churches we have partnered with.

During a recent trip, I took a moment on a Sunday afternoon to visit with a gentleman in the Nagongera community who has become a dear friend and inspiration to me. David Ochieng is a man full of the Joy of the Lord. Despite being a poor peasant without much money or material possessions to his name, when you meet him, you think he owns the world! He greets you with the widest of smiles and a bear hug, and lets you know how grateful he is to the Lord for His goodness to him and his family. On Sunday mornings you will be able to pick out David Ochieng from the jubilant worshiping crowd. He is always at the front of the church jovially dancing to the Lord, lost in praise.  This time around he was suffering from tendonitis in one of his knees and it was quite swollen and painful. This did not stop him from dancing to his Lord! What makes this man so joyful and content in the Lord?

David’s life has not always been this way. At one time he spent most of his leisure time away from cultivating the land he owned drinking the local brew and smoking marijuana. He claimed the drugs gave him strength to work in his garden the whole day! He believed that he had control of his own destiny and did not see any need for God. However, one day Pastor John Ofumbi who is the senior pastor at the church Covenant Mercies partners with in Nagongera, preached to him the Gospel. He narrates that he was convicted by two Scriptures:

1. Proverbs 14:12 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
2. Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

In 1986 David submitted to the Lordship of Christ. He says the Joy of the Lord infused his life then, and with the grace of God at work in his life he is able to see God’s glory and splendor in His creation each day. He proclaims “this is what keeps me joyful at all times”. His witness has inspired his wife of forty six years and some of his six children and eighteen grandchildren to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Encountering this man has made me ask myself the following questions:

• Am I content in having Christ and Him alone?
• Is the Joy of the Lord in my life and do I cultivate a spirit of gratefulness toward God at all times and in all circumstances?
• Do those that I come into contact with see God given joy in my life?

Which brings to mind a passage from Psalms:

Psalm 149:5 - Let the godly exult in glory; let them sing for joy on their beds.

By Andy Farmer

Note: This is the sixth in a series of posts on Christian liberty based on a pastoral letter written by John Newton in 1776.  For background on the letter see the 6.18.09 post.  You can read the letter in its entirety HERE. 

Last week we saw how Pastor Newton applied the law of love to our exercise liberty before a dying world.  He next takes a step back and looks at the unbelieving world as a system of doing life.  Newton was, if anything, extraordinarily practical in his spiritual counsel.  He’d spent years in the worldliest of world systems – the trading of human beings as property in the form of slavery.  As a repentant sinner engaged in the care of souls, he understood first hand both the enterprise and enticements of the world.  He knew that withdrawal from the world was not an option for the believer.  Here’s his interesting solution.

In our way of little life in the country, serious people often complain of the snares they meet with from worldly people, and yet they must mix with them to get a livelihood.  I advise them, if they can, to do their business with the world as they do it in the rain.  If their business calls them abroad, they will not leave it undone for fear of being a little wet; but then, when it is done, they presently seek shelter and will not stand in the rain for pleasure.  So providential and necessary calls of duty that lead us into the world will not hurt us, if we find the spirit of the world unpleasant and are glad to retire from it, and keep out of it as much as our relative duties will permit.  That which is our cross is not so likely to be our snare; but if that spirit which we should always watch and pray against, infects and assimilates our minds to itself, then we are sure to suffer loss, and act below the dignity of our profession.

Most of us work in occupations which function entirely on systems created in the world.  We may be an engineer, or a construction worker, or a health care professional, or a student, but we know that the world in which we work doesn’t have as its highest value the glory of God.  So we must learn how to succeed in it without becoming a part of it.  In Newton’s analogy, there’s no way to not get wet with the world.  But there is no reason we have live soaked with the world.  We know that we’re soaked with the world when its values, language, and choices become ours. 

Paul operates a different metaphor when he warns believers to not be ‘unequally yoked’ with unbelievers – to have who we are and what we do tied to what the world is and what it does.  Instead, we are to ‘go out from their midst, and be separate from them (2 Cor. 6:14; 17).  In other words, get out of the rain!

How wet with the world are you?  Do you, like the street smart city worker, have a skill at finding those dry shelter spots in the rain so that you can do your business without getting soaked?  Or have you just gotten used to being wet?  One of the ways we make sure that the pleasant wetness of the world doesn’t become our preferred existence is to cultivate and protect our love for the things of God.  The true joy of the Lord, the fellowship of the saints, the untarnished satisfaction of servanthood are shelters in the rain of the world that we can always find – if we are looking for them.  The Christian who exercises liberty well knows when he’s getting wet, and how to stay dry. 

By Rob Flood

In our most sober moments, we would all agree that communication is important in marriage.  How much communication might be up for dispute, but learning to communicate well and on a variety of issues can go a long way in preventing and resolving marital conflict.

So, in FPU we learn to talk about our finances.  In Vital Life, we learn to talk about our prayer lives.  In Fellowship Groups, we learn to talk about our sin.  There is one thing that sets the marriage relationship apart from all others.  (Not just one thing…but one BIG thing nonetheless.)  So…are we talking about sex?

When was the last conversation you had about money?  When was the last conversation you had about Christ?  Now…when was the last conversation you had about sex?

Far too frequently, sex is a taboo topic.  We may engage in marital intimacy, but we don’t often discuss marital intimacy.  And what are the consequences?

1. Our marital intimacy is not all it could be.  There are expressions of intimacy that you desire, but if you never talk about it, you’ll never know if your spouse agrees or might want the same thing.  Or, perhaps the opposite is true.  Perhaps something is happening in the marital bed that you are uncomfortable with.  But rather than discuss it, you avoid intimacy or hope upon hope that he or she doesn’t do that thing tonight.  Opening the topic of sex up for discussion can avoid all of this and make intimacy a joy for both spouses.
2. Non-sexual elements of our marriages suffer.  When couples struggle with intimacy, bitterness can find root.  “She doesn’t understand how important this is to me.”  “He doesn’t care what matters to me.”  Then, for no real reason, an accidental bump while emptying the dishwasher becomes a big deal.  Thoughtless remarks escape our mouths about the silliest and stupidest things.  We know that they’re silly and we don’t even want to be in conflict over them.  The bitterness takes us by surprise, but it is very real.  Where does it come from?  Trace it back to the root.  Talking about the struggles or difficulties you are having in the bedroom can serve the rest of your marriage.
3. Sex becomes too important in our perspectives.  If we don’t talk about sex as a regular topic in our marriages, it can grow to be a colossal issue in our own minds.  Last year, I wrote a blog that defined the role that sex ought to play in a healthy marriage.  (You can read it by clicking here.)  We do not fix other legitimate problems in our marriage by “jazzing up” our sex lives.  A vibrant sex life ought to flow from a “jazzed up” marriage.  But if we are silent on the topic, with no platform or opportunity to share, we run the risk of losing this helpful balance.

So, while you actively discuss topics such as finances or parenting, consider cracking the seal on a conversation on marital intimacy.  It is a gift of God to marriages…that must be stewarded.  So…steward away.

Editors Note: The purpose of these conversations are to foster mutual enjoyment and respect in marital intimacy.  No venue or discussion should be used to manipulate a spouse to take part in something that he or she is uncomfortable with.  Remember, the goal in these discussions is to edify your spouse and serve your marriage…not edify yourself and serve yourself.

 

By Deb Demi

Do you know the verse about hiding God’s word in your heart?  (Ps. 119:11)  The problem that I have is once I hide it, I can’t always find it.

Maybe it’s because I’m over 40 or maybe it’s because I have 7 kids (4 of whom are teenagers), but I have a hard time remembering things - specifically scripture.  I can still recall bible verses that I learned when I was in grade school and even ones that I learned in college.  Back then, scripture seemed to stick in my head.  Now, however, I’m lucky to remember a verse that I memorized last month. 

Maybe you’ve experienced this too.  You spend time memorizing a passage of scripture only to be unable to recall five words of it two weeks later.  Maybe you don’t even try to memorize scripture, because it’s just too difficult.  Before giving up on the idea of memorizing portions of scripture, let me encourage you!

This past year, I have memorized Romans 12, Romans 5, 2 Peter 1, and I just finished committing Romans 8 to memory word for word.  I’m not telling you this to pat myself on the back.  Each of those passages took me at least a month to learn.  I’m not a great memorizer.  And, when I just tried to recall Romans 12 – I only could remember two verses (the ones I learned in college).  So, you may be asking, why bother memorizing at all if in less than a year – you can’t remember anything?

Here’s an example of why I will continue to hide God’s word in my heart:   For the past three months (!)  I’ve been memorizing Romans 8.  Every day while I dry my hair, I say the verses aloud from the beginning of the chapter (several times), and try to add a new one.  Then, when I’m driving in my car or lying in bed at night or taking a shower or when I first get up in the morning, I meditate on the chapter as far as I know it.  For the past three months, I’ve been immersed in the gospel promises laid out for us in Romans 8.  Through memorizing and replaying, I did what I rarely have time to do in my quiet times – I meditated on and practically applied these amazing verses on a daily basis.

Though I can’t recall much of what I memorized earlier in the year, when a verse is needed, I know if it’s located in one of “my” 4 chapters.  And, I know that it’s still hidden in my heart somewhere, because when I try to relearn portions of one of the chapters, it comes back almost instantly.

So what are you waiting for?  Find a passage to memorize.  Don’t bemoan the fact that you may not retain it forever; revel in the fact that as do the work of memorizing, your soul is being fed.  Even if you can’t find it next month, you can be confident that God’s word is hidden somewhere in your heart!

“The Word is forgotten but they are still doing their work secretly and the spirit feeds on them and grows strong.”  Françoise Fenelon

By Jared Mellinger

If you came to the blog today hoping to receive a helpful insight or theological reflection, I’ll have to ask for your patience with a very proud father of a growing family!

We recently welcomed Isaac William, our fourth child, into the Mellinger family.  Our first day home from the hospital after Isaac was born, we took some time to create a chalk drawing on the driveway.  It is a masterpiece we have entitled “Growing Family with Ga-boo and Creek”.  (Ga-boo is Lily’s name for her little pink handkerchief thingy that she walks around with all the time, and we have a creek right next to our house.  And we are a growing family.)  We were going to auction off “Growing Family with Ga-boo and Creek” to the highest bidder, to start a wedding fund for Isaac, but our masterpiece didn’t survive a recent rainstorm.  Oh well.

The boys did almost all the coloring, and played no small role in the development of the concept.  Lily helped with some of the coloring, but her main job was to see how much chalk she could get on herself (especially her mouth and face) and on Ga-boo.  She did a great job “working” while Daddy wasn’t looking.

Perhaps next week I will have something more edifying to share with you.  In the meantime, enjoy “Growing Family with Ga-boo and Creek”.  



Lily pondering her masterpiece



The whole gang.  And, to clarify: I’m supposed to be resting my hand on Lily’s head, not giving her the death-grip.


 Mama and Isaac



Sun “with a sunset behind it” (In Ryle’s words)


 Two Fish in the creek.  Orange and bluish-green. 



Lily and Ga-boo

By Jim Donohue

Water skiing can be scary.  You’re floating in dark water behind a powerful boat that’s revving its engines.  Two planks of wood are strapped to your feet and you are holding onto a rope attached to the huge motor.  Meanwhile someone is gently and soothingly encouraging you with the essential instructions to survive on the aforementioned wooden slats.  “Keep your ski tips up, bend your knees, lean back, keep your back straight and always remember to keep your elbows locked.”  As you desperately try to remember these tips, the soothing voice asks, “Are you ready?”  You give a tentative nod.  The soothing voice transforms into ferocious roar of  “HIT IT!!!!!!”

It can be a little unnerving. 

So, we were recently on vacation with another family.  Their 11 year old daughter, Zoe was getting ready to ski.  I was the soothing voice guy and was about to give her the long list of rules while the engines roared.  Then I pondered, “You know Zoe, water skiing is a lot like evangelism.  It is a little scary at first but once you get going it’s a lot of fun.” 

That’s been my experience when it comes to evangelism.  I always feel a hesitation at first.  The little voice in my head keeps saying, “I’m not sure this is a good idea!”  But then the Spirit inside of me says, “HIT IT!” and I end up opening my mouth.  The conversation gets going and is actually enjoyable.  In the two decades of my Christian life I have found that whenever I seek to share the gospel I am met with resistance and doubt.  I have never found a way to erase these feelings, I’ve just learned to overcome them.  And I’ve learned that there is some serious joy that comes when I overcome the flesh and obey God in evangelism.  It’s kind of like water skiing, it’s a little scary at first but once you get going it’s an incredible feeling to be skimming across the water with the wind in your hair.

Just this Tuesday Dave Harvey and I went to West Chester’s campus to share the gospel.  We got into a great conversation with a student named Martha, and a guy on a smoke break from his philosophy test.  When we had finished sharing the greatest news in the world with two people it seemed had never heard it before, joy filled our hearts.  We had just done what God created us to do in “testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”  I can honestly say that some of the most joyful moments in my life have been while sharing the gospel with lost men and women. 

So I yelled “HIT IT!” and Zoe popped up for a few seconds and then fell down.  I swam out, gave her a little encouragement, and then shouted again.  This time she popped up and skied around the lake with a huge smile on her face.   When she came back I gave her a big hug and said, “See, I told you it was wasn’t so hard.”

By Andy Farmer

Note: This is the fifth in a series of posts on Christian liberty based on a pastoral letter written by John Newton in 1776. For background on the letter see the 6.18.09 post.  You can read the letter in its entirety HERE. 

Last week we looked at how the law of love governs our liberty as it relates to our brothers and sisters.  Pastor Newton then extends this principle to our example to unbelievers.  In considering the unbeliever, we should desire that their interactions with us will not only leave them conscious of our graciousness, but our set-apartness as well.

I remember in the first few months after my conversion I met a girl at church who said she believed the Lord had called her to go to dance clubs because they provided great opportunities to evangelize.  I’m pretty confident the clubs she was talking about weren’t quaint little village pubs where she could discuss eternal security over a game of darts.  I was only a few months distanced from the bar scene myself and I was taken aback by my sister’s strategy and rationalization.  I had been going to bars for years and had never met a guy who had any desire for conversation, spiritual or otherwise, while he was there.  I didn’t have the nerve to ask her how it was working out.

But this young woman was simply making her appeal based on a disco version of what is often called ‘incarnating’ in our day.  Christians need to be ‘incarnational’ – need to mix with regular folks in the stuff regular folks do – to have a platform of relevance upon which to share their Gospel story.  There is some good reason in this – we do need to share truth with both our words and our lives.  But the slippery slope of incarnation is that we become so involved with our mission field that we forget the mission task.  We get too alike the people we’re trying to reach.  To be honest, I’ve done my share of ‘over-incarnating’ over the years – sitting in on ungodly conversations, imbibing when I could have easily abstained, telling stories that accent my raucous past rather than my pedestrian present.  My logic is something like, “They see me as this really good moral person, I should show them I’m normal so they ask me what makes the difference.”  And maybe this works from time to time.  But Newton helps us to see that if we buy into the relevance logic we may misrepresent the more significant evidence of God in our lives – our set-apartness, our holiness.  The world is full of people who are trying to be relevant.  What it needs are people who are willing to be different.  The mark of an authentic work of God in a person will combine a discernable holiness of character with an attractive, gracious spirit.  The apostle Paul expresses it with this exhortation:

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God,  just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.  (1 Cor. 10:31-33)

In holiness we live for the glory of God; in graciousness we live for the benefit of the lost.  Our exercise of liberty should always have in view the saving purposes of God in the unbelieving world around us.  Or as Newton sums up,

Happy are they who are favored with most of the holy unction, and best enabled to manifest to all around them, by their spirit, tempers, and conversations, what are the proper design and genuine effect of His gospel upon the hearts of sinners.

By Rob Flood

Life lessons are often trapped within the mundane…the ordinary…the common. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was putting clean sheets on our bed.  I had just begun putting on the fitted sheet when Gina came walking by.  Seeing what I was doing, she pulled away from where she was headed and started to help.  She didn’t ask if I wanted help and I didn’t ask for the help…she just jumped in and helped.  Though I was perfectly happy to do it myself, I was thankful for the help.

Blogworthy?  Does this profound event rise to the level of message illustration?  Well, judge for yourself.

There are heroes around us, busy with the labor of the ordinary day.  But for them, the ordinary day is something extraordinary for us.  I’m talking about the single parents in our midst.

Though they may desire for their circumstances to change, they are happy to be serving their children and love them deeply and sacrificially.  Yet, when they put on the fitted sheets of their lives, they do it alone.  You won’t often hear them complaining about the additional load they have to carry.  In fact, if your experience is anything like mine, they have experienced the goodness and grace of God at a deeper level than we have.

They’re not begging for help.  But what if…what if someone came along and just started in on helping them?  What if another family decided to fold them into the fabric of their own lives.  I can’t predict all the fruit but I can predict at least one result:  they would be alone no more.

It would not replace the void left by another parent, but it would go a long way to making the work more joyful.  Why?  What is the need?

~   Others’ Eyes:  If my family was to lock our door to the outside, at least we would have two adults’ eyes on our children.  At least two perspectives.  This is not the case with single parents.  Unless others step in and help, they are left only to their own eyes.  And how deeply most single parents desire others’ eyes on their children.  We can provide that.

~   Others’ Shoulders:  God’s grace is powerful.  And God has a special heart for single parents.  He provides sufficient strength for the calling to which they’ve been called.  But wouldn’t it be a relief if someone stepped in and helped them carry it from time to time?  If my heart felt gratitude in the light burden of putting on a fitted sheet, how much more would a heart feel gratitude for the indescribably challenging burden of parenting on your own. 

~   Others’ Prayers:  Sometimes just knowing that someone else knows what is burdening me brings me comfort.  I know that those friends will pray for me and that serves my heart.  As families fold single parents into the fabric of their own homes, households pray for each other and struggles appear less bleak.

All we need are eyes to see single parent families, hearts that feel compassion, and ears that hear the promptings of God.  So, if I may be bold with you for a minute, look around.  Do you see any single parent families?  If so, do you feel compassion for the struggles they face?  If so, is God prompting you to come alongside them?  It may be you who God is calling to use so that they labor alone no more.

By Ramona Doyle

With the recent media blitz surrounding the death of Michael Jackson, one of our country’s most famous pop stars, my husband and I found it interesting to note what folks were saying about him. Words and phrases like ‘legendary’, ‘superstar’, and ‘larger than life’ were liberally pasted across front pages of papers and magazines around the world and TV stations put regular programming on hold to cover the events of his life and death. Yes, this was a talented man. And yes, he had a large following and his fame spanned the generations. But though he loomed large in the world, we have the responsibility to discern who should loom large in the eyes and minds of our children and families.

Our country makes much of its entertainers and athletes. All the information one would ever want to know about them is never more than a ‘click’ away. And media effectively places them ever before our eyes. In this age of instant information and cult followings, Bill and I have become all the more aware of how important it is to carefully select the role models who will influence our children. Equally important, we’ve seen the need to supply appropriate commentary for our children in the midst of these kinds of current events.

When we think about choosing role models for our children, these are some of the questions my husband and I have considered:

          • What does the life of this person teach those who watch?
          • Is he/she rebellious or gracious and full of character?
          • How does he/she respond to life situations … in anger or envy, or with humility and forgiveness?
          • Does this person face the challenges of life with perseverance and learn from their mistakes, or by whining and complaining to anyone who will lend and ear?
          • If a woman, does her life model biblical femininity… does she value motherhood and is she oriented toward the home?
          • If a man, does his life model biblically masculine traits like courage, selflessness, and humble leadership? 
          • And how does this person respond to authority in his or her life …with cynicism or by genuinely valuing the authority over them? Do they value the role of parents?

We have found these kinds of positive role models more abundant in the lives of godly friends and families with whom we spend time and on the pages of good biographies and literature than on movie screens, video games or nightly TV. That notion alone helps us guide our children in how they spend their time. And as we seek good earthly role models for our children, we are also ever mindful of our need to keep before their eyes the life and character of the One who is truly ‘legendary’ and ‘larger than life’, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As we point our children to His goodness, mercy, and grace, we will help them to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

By Jared Mellinger

One of the things I really enjoy about being on the pastoral team here at Covenant Fellowship is being able to see God using men on the team beyond the walls of our church.  I can barely keep track of all the ways they are serving: trips to Africa, teaching at the Pastors College, speaking at conferences and seminars, developing church planting in Sovereign Grace, and assisting other churches in whatever ways they can. 

And it is important for you to know that these men serve beyond our church without compromising their primary responsibility and call to serve the people of their home church.  In our approach to team ministry, none of the guys, including myself, is free to accept responsibilities outside of our local church without the input and oversight of the team.  I want you to know this so that you never have concern that the pastors who serve you would view this church as a platform for any sense of personal ministry vision. 

At the end of August, Mark (Prater) and Andy (Farmer) will be serving at a conference on biblical counseling at Sojourn, a church in Louisville Kentucky.  The conference is entitled “The Gospel: Counseling and the Church”, and you can learn more about it here.  Paul Tripp will be there as well.  Mark and Andy are going to be speaking on applying the gospel to parenting and children’s ministry in the church.  If you’d like to check out Mark’s first (known) YouTube video, here’s his conference promotion.

This particular opportunity reminds me once again of the privilege we have of being able to partner with those outside of Sovereign Grace – in this case, a handful of men from a church planting group called Acts 29.  It also reminds me of how grateful I am to be a part of a church that has built a model over the past 25 years.  Mark and Andy are able to speak at a conference like this, not just because they are gifted speakers with a few theoretical ideas, but because all of you at Covenant Fellowship provide a concrete model and a platform from which they speak. 

 

Whenever I see men on the team serving outside the church, I realize that they only have something to say because of the example of the church.  So, thanks for providing a model, thanks for giving us something to say, and thanks for praying for us as we share with others some of what we have learned (and continue to learn!) as we seek to apply the gospel in the church.

By Doug Hayes

This summer I bought a new pair of running shoes. 

Anyone who knows me well can confirm that this is not a regular occurrence for me.  I will wear a pair of sneakers until a hole in the bottom starts destroying my socks, or the flap of a disconnected sole starts tripping me up as I walk.  Some people call this being cheap.  I prefer to think of it as stewardship (“let him who has two pairs of shoes share with him who has none.”).  In truth, it’s probably a little bit of both.

So why have I purchased a new pair of running shoes this summer?  A couple of months ago, Joel Shorey started trying to convince me to train with him for a half-marathon in November.  A challenge had gone out in the Singles community of the church, and Joel wanted a training partner to help him prepare for the run.  As the most athletic member of the pastoral team (that’s not saying much), I was Joel’s natural selection.  But I wasn’t ready to commit. 

Sensing my hesitation, Joel skillfully motivated me by guilt, embarrassment, and inquiries into my masculinity, finally convincing me to “man up” and join him in his quest.  But truth be told, I had another motivation. 

In St. Louis, some dear friends of Covenant Mercies had decided to organize a run – with options available from 5k to half-marathon – as a fundraiser for the ministry.  They did this completely of their own initiative, and scheduled it for October 10.  This gave me an idea.  I could actually run a marathon this Fall!  And how does a 40-year old ex-athlete (emphasis on the ex) run a marathon?  He runs the first half in October, and the second half in November!  I realize all you running enthusiasts are going to say this doesn’t count, but for me this will be a great accomplishment!

So what does this have to do with my sneakers?

On my third training run with Joel back in April, I learned a lesson.  40 year-old men in the worst shape of their lives shouldn’t start training as if they’re 20 year-old men who’ve taken a small step backward in their physical fitness.  Even worse, they shouldn’t attempt to do it in old, beat up running shoes that don’t quite fit.  On a cold April morning (I did stretch… honest!), we were less than a mile into our run when my left leg decided to protest the beating I was putting it through without sufficient preparation.  A sharp pain halfway between my calf and my lower Achilles forced me to rest for several weeks (best guess at diagnosis: Achilles Tendinitis), and a three-week trip to Africa with the subsequent jetlag set me back even more.  But now I’m ready.  I’ve got a new pair of running shoes, a smarter training plan, and a thousand kids in Africa who stand to benefit from my efforts if I can get myself into shape and actually complete this marathon (in two parts) in the Fall.

Beginning in August, you will be able to track the progress of my training on CovenantMercies.org, find out how you can get involved personally in the run, and learn how you can give toward our fundraising goal if you are so inclined.  For now, please just pray that my Achilles will hold up, and pray that Joel doesn’t shame me into doing anything stupid before I’m ready.  

Anyone else looking to get in shape? 

Editor’s Note:  The status of Doug as “the most athletic member of the pastoral team” is currently under review…and far from certain.

By Andy Farmer

Note:  This is the fourth in a series of posts on Christian liberty based on a pastoral letter written by John Newton in 1776.  For background on the letter see the 6.18.09 post.  You can read the letter in its entirety HERE.

After assessing the effect of how we pursue liberty on our own souls, Pastor Newton calls us to turn our attention toward our brothers and sisters in Christ.  In this he is applying the teaching of the Apostle Paul, who advocated liberty constrained by the law of love in his letter to the Romans

Romans 14:14-21  ¹⁴ I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.  ¹⁵ For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love.  By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.  ¹⁶ So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.  ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  ¹⁸ Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.  ¹⁹ So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.  ²⁰ Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God.  Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats.  ²¹ It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble

Newton advises us, in considering our brothers, that charity and prudence may require us to abstain from things that might be suitable for our liberty but would be a stumbling block for someone weaker.  But to Newton love doesn’t just mean we watch what we are doing around weaker people.  He reminds us that we don’t always know who might be affected by what we do in the exercise of liberty.  We will never know whose faith has been undermined by taking their cue from observing us when we didn’t know we were being watched.  And therefore we won’t be able to help a person who might stumble beyond our awareness.

 

He also makes a connection between how we view our liberties as they relate to what we want to be our example.

 

And it seems that an obligation to this sort of self-denial, rises, and is strengthened, in proportion to the weight and influence of our characters.

 

In other words, those who aspire to greater influence for God should be all the more concerned about their example to others. 

 

The important thing here is that we are not motivated by what others think of us.  That would be fear of man.  We are, rather, motivated by a love for God and others that will seek to make sure that our lives are lived for the ‘mutual upbuilding’ (as Paul says it) of our brothers and sisters in the faith.  So we don’t simply think in terms of avoiding what might stumble others.  We want to see our lives among our brothers and sisters as opportunities to strengthen the faith of others through how we make decisions regarding liberty.  Liberty strained through the law of love will be liberty well expressed. 

By Rob Flood

About a year ago, I read a blog by Tim Challies posted his blog: www.challies.com.  Typically, Tim’s blog focuses on the doctrinal landscape of the contemporary church.  While I cannot say I always agree with his take on things, I can say that I regularly read his blog and enjoy it very much.  On this particular day, though, he left behind the theological issues and wrote about a parenting event in his own life.  My heart was cut to the quick with encouragement and conviction.

I’ve posted the blog in its entirety below along with the link to read it at his site.  May we find ourselves always thinking long term in our parenting.  And may it guide the words we use…and the opportunities we seize.

Got To Get To
Tim Challies

My children have been behaving a little bit strangely at bedtime in recent days. My son tends to be melancholy in the evenings at the best of times but recently has been getting worried as soon as we tuck him into bed. Two nights ago he was concerned that the Sith were going to attack him (how he even knows who the Sith are is beyond me) and last night he was worried that the Japanese were going to invade Canada (I guess he has been reading about the Second World War). I assured him that the Japanese were not going to invade our country but he replied, “Well, they snuck up on Hawaii without the Americans noticing!” This much is true. His little sister feeds off his worries and almost inevitably ends up creating her own.

It generally happens that, by the time we tuck the children into bed, Aileen and I are ready to be done with them for the day. It may sound harsh, but by the end of a long day, we are more than eager to spend an hour or two by ourselves in the living room before also heading for bed. The last thing we want is a parade of children up and down the stairs and a chorus of cries asking us to come upstairs to mediate one problem or another.

Last night, a good hour after I put my daughter to bed, and as I settled into the couch to continue reading through Iain Murray’s biography of Martyn Lloyd-Jones, I heard a cry of “Daddy!” I went to the bottom of the stairs and asked what she wanted. “Will you come and cuddle me?” she called out. I thought about it for a moment and eventually told her that she should already be asleep and that I was not going to come up and cuddle her. Thankfully she soon drifted off and slept well.

As I thought about it a little bit more I realized that I did not want to cuddle her, at least in part, because I had to. I was looking at it as a “got to” situation: “I’ve got to cuddle her.” And I rebelled. It didn’t take me long to regret my decision. She is going to be with us for so few years and for many of those she will no doubt have no desire to cuddle me. And is it so bad for a five-year old to want a cuddle (or another cuddle) before bed? The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a “get to” situation: “I get to cuddle her.”

It’s funny the difference made by that one little letter. Throughout my life I’ve struggled with the got to’s and the get to’s. Church can seem like a “got to” obligation, but it is so much sweeter when I face it as if it is a “get to” privilege. My morning devotions can often feel like a “got to” but I enjoy them so much more when I treat them like a “get to.” Rather than having to face the Bible and prayer in the morning, I see them as an enjoyable privilege. It often makes all the difference in a mind as feeble and sinful as mine.

When Abby stumbled down the stairs this morning, squinting through barely-awake eyes, her hair all askew, I grabbed her up in a big hug and settled onto the couch with her for a few minutes of cuddling. It is something I get to do, at least for a few more years. It was my privilege and my pleasure.

http://www.challies.com/archives/articles/personal-reflections/got-to-get-to.php

By Deb Demi

 

It started out with a simple (or so I thought) idea...

 

Tired of looking at the old, peeling, ugly wallpaper covering our kitchen and family room, I decided to take on the task of stripping the wallpaper and repainting.  But to my surprise, this “simple” task has been anything but simple.  The wallpaper pulled off the paint underneath it, the paste left on the wall in some places seemed inches thick, and scraps of border refused to budge.  And just when I thought that it couldn’t get any more overwhelming, Jeff decided to take down a wall and rip out the carpet in our dining room.  So not only is the wallpaper partially stripped leaving ugly, paint-stripped, paste-gooped walls in my kitchen and family room, there’s a big chunk of drywall missing in our dining room wall along with bare plywood floors.  I hope you get the picture.  My house is a mess right now.

 

Looking around, it would be easy for me to fall into despair.  However, what keeps me from discouragement and unashamedly able to live in my house is the vision that I have for what I want my house to look like.  As I strip and scrub the walls, I have the hope that soon, it’ll look much better than it did with the old, peeling wallpaper.  But before things look better, I know that I have to undergo this time of disarray.

 

At the same time that this construction has been going on in my home, the Lord has also been doing some extra “remodeling” in my soul.  Although the Lord is always at work in our lives, there seem to be seasons when we can feel the “construction” more acutely.  Lately I’ve been more aware of sin in my life, I’ve been experiencing failure, and I haven’t been able to keep all my plates spinning.  My inadequacies loom large revealing that I am not “done” yet.

 

One evening as I was tempted to wallow in my internal mess and disarray, the  Lord reminded me that just as I have a vision for my home, He has a vision for what He wants to accomplish in my life.  He is lovingly stripping me of my self-sufficiency, revealing my inadequacies and showing me where I’m not depending on Him.  Although at times the work that He is doing in us can look messy, we can be confident that He is using the painful, ugly-at-times process to deepen our relationship with Him.  When we can’t see what He is doing – when all that we can see is the chaos, we can trust that we are being conformed to the image of his Son.  And unlike my construction project, God is not daunted by the amount of work that it’s going to take nor does He lack the skill or time or vision. 

 

How is God at work in your life?  Are you in a season of heightened “construction”?  Or maybe your teenage son or daughter is in an obvious construction stage.  Be encouraged.  As painful as it may feel, embrace the work that He is doing in you being confident that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.

By Jared Mellinger

 

My 2 oldest children are Ryle and Ben, and they bring a ton of joy into my world.  Ryle is 5 years old, Ben is 3.  I am increasingly discovering that these boys really are at the age where I am able to have meaningful and substantial conversations with them.  Intentional conversations in our family often take place at 1) the dinner table, or 2) when I am on a Monday Dunkin Donuts outing with the kids, or 3) at bedtime.  Those are the locations and times that remind me I should be intentional and look to engage them in meaningful, strategic conversation.

 

I have a simple mind, and at times I have found myself wanting to talk with the boys, but not knowing exactly what to talk about (I’m pretty sure this is a male thing).  So in addition to having set times and locations that I look to take advantage of, I also created a simple list of questions that I use to ask the boys about their day. 

 

Different things work for different kids.  And different things work for different parents, so don’t feel like you’re obligated to implement our practice.  But for some reason, my boys absolutely love the “Bedtime Questions for Ryle and Ben” we’ve been doing over the past 6 months or so.  It usually takes around 5 minutes (10 at the most), and it’s the last thing we do before they go to bed.  But they have been known to spend all day thinking of their answers to the questions Daddy is going to ask them that night.  Ryle, who excels at following rules and helping others follow rules, has been known to panic if we neglect to do the Bedtime Questions and therefore helps hold me accountable to do them.   

     

On the dresser in their bedroom is a printed piece of paper with the questions I often ask them.  They now have these questions engraved on their little minds, simply through the repetition of me asking them each question so many times, but we still set the printed page of questions on Daddy’s lap, because that’s the way we’ve always done it and Ryle likes to do things the way we’ve always done it.  (That kid sure does make me smile!) 

 

With each one of these questions, I have something specific that I am looking to accomplish and instill in the boys.  Then, after the questions and before I turn out the lights, I give them hugs and kisses and I pray that they would be God-knowing, Bible-loving, grateful, humble, obedient boys who see their need for a Savior.

 

Bedtime Questions for Ryle and Ben:

 

1. What is one question you have for me about God or the Bible?

 

2. What is one thing you are grateful to God for from today? 

 

3. What is one way you saw someone in our family choosing to please God today?

 

4. What is one thing you did (or didn’t do) today that reminded you of your need for a Savior?

 

5. What is one way you hope to obey God’s authority tomorrow? 

By Lennie Spitale

Editor’s Note: Lennie Spitale has been involved in full-time prison ministry for many years. In fact, he’s even written a book or two on the topic. Just pop his name into Amazon.com and you’ll pull up his book entitled Prison Ministry: Understanding the Prison Culture from the Inside and Out. It has this plug from Chuck Colson on the cover: “This may well be the definitive book on prison ministry.” Lennie now oversees the prison ministry of Covenant Fellowship Church.  What a gift this man is to our church! Below is an update from Lennie on our Prison Ministry.

 

“I am an inmate at GWCF (G.W. Hill Correctional Facility), and I’ve been attending your church services…Your services have helped me and others maintain a good spirit and hope! I and my fellow inmates thank you.”

 

The sentiments above were taken from a letter that was recently sent to the church in response to one of the prison team’s ministry among them. GWCF is the alternative name for the Delaware County Prison, which is located only a few miles from Covenant Fellowship making it a prime target for evangelistic outreach. The church has granted me the privilege of leading the team for the past year.

 

Over the last year, the prison itself has gone through a change of leadership. Beginning January 1^st, an entirely new administration took over the facility; the old guard is out and the new guard is in. (Pun intended)  And although this resulted in many administrative changes for the correctional staff, its impact upon the prison team was minimal. We were able to continue serving at our various weekly assignments without interruption.

 

One major key to the smooth transition was the fact that God has our own David Robinson, a member here at CFC, as the sole chaplain for the Delaware County Prison. David and I meet regularly and he was able to keep me aware of all the changes that were taking place.

 

The new administration has set a limit on how many volunteers a church can send into the facility. Their formula is a limit of four volunteers per service. Since we currently have five weekly services going on, in five separate units of the institution (two for women and three for men), we are allowed a total of twenty volunteers. Our CFC prison team now has 21 members, which includes two letter-writers.

 

Currently in process, is the launching of Grafted In, a CFC outreach that is designed to help former prisoners integrate into the life of the church. This mentor-driven ministry will be headed up by Tom and Maggie Fitzpatrick.

 

Please pray regularly for this ministry. The prison is replete with opportunities for the gospel to go forward, to both save and encourage.  Pray for the volunteers to have courage and for the hearts of the inmates to be open.

By Andy Farmer

 

Note:  This is the third in a series of posts on Christian liberty based on a pastoral letter written by John Newton in 1776.  For background on the letter see the 6.18.09 post.  You can read the letter in its entirety HERE. 
 

John Newton’s approach to liberty and worldliness begins with the effect of our choices and pursuits on our own souls. 

 

In considering our souls, Newton challenges us to refrain from things that ‘deaden our hearts to divine things’, and exhorts us to not ‘pursue, rest in, or allow’ anything that gives us greater joy than our chief joy in God.

 

Last week we dealt with a false distinction between public and private spirituality.  Newton reminded us that our public and private lives are constantly intertwined, because God sees all.  In this exhortation he deals with another misunderstanding.  We often live with a functional divide between our ‘sacred’ (meaning the things we do that are consciously about our religious experience), and our ‘secular’ (meaning the things we do that we don’t consider religious) lives. 

 

When we live with a distinction between sacred and secular, ‘Christian Liberty’ can simply become the religious permission we assume to do worldly things.  We can avoid uncomfortable evaluation of our worldly pursuits by pointing to all the religious activities (quiet times, service, meeting attendance, good deeds, etc.) that give us the right to a reasonable amount of worldly indulgence.  In a sense, we live as if we need to ‘protect’ our secular liberties from sacred contamination.  The truth is, we never have to guard our secular lives from the influence of the sacred world.  I don’t remember a time when I was watching an Eagles game and suddenly got the urge to shut off the tube and read my Bible.  Even if they were losing. 

 

At risk in this sacred/secular distinction is true joy in our soul.  Our souls weren’t created with bipolar tendencies.  They were created to find joy in God and him alone.  It is God’s lavish grace that allows us to experience true joy in God through secondary joys.  And Christian liberty may be best understood as the kind permission of our Creator to enjoy the things He has created for us.  I believe this can include things that we have created for enjoyment as well – art, music, visual imagery, sports, Mexican food, roller coasters, jokes, beach vacations, movies, Ford Mustangs… well, the list is getting a little long and a little too personalized, but you get my point.
 

The first test is, according to Newton, whether something we enjoy through liberty works against our joy in God.  If it does, it will have an enslaving and ultimately damaging effect on our souls.  And liberty was never meant to produce those results.  To rightly understand and enjoy liberty we must remove the sacred/secular divide.  All our secular enjoyments have sacred implications.  And all our secondary joys must ultimately feed our primary joy in God. 

 

 

Psalm 24:3-6  ³ Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his holy place?  ⁴ He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully.  ⁵ He will receive blessing from the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation.  ⁶ Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek the face of the God of Jacob. Selah

By Rob Flood

 

Recently, one of my children was skimming the top of a pool with a skimmer.  The pole must have been about 10 feet long.  While having his concentration fully engaged on the pool, he was oblivious to the long stretch of pole behind him.  With no malicious or pre-meditated intent, he nearly knocked two children into the pool.  Thankfully, no one got pushed in.

 

But it did make me think of the damage we can cause when we are reckless or careless…even unintentionally.  A recent study[1] done at Simmons College in Boston tracked the wide-reaching affects that conflict has on children who witness it.

 

Researchers found that adolescents who reported increased family arguments at age 15 had an increased risk of major depression, alcohol abuse/dependence, drug dependence and antisocial behaviors at age 30, compared with peers who didn’t report more family arguments. And those with more family strife had twice the risk for being unemployed as adults.

 

Those who reported exposure to family violence by age 18 were significantly more likely than peers to have a mental disorder, drug or alcohol abuse or dependence, lower self-esteem, and lower overall life satisfaction at age 30.

 

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that our conflict only impacts those we aim it at.  But selfishness and anger, which lie at the root of our conflict, are not instruments of precision.  They are not highly accurate rifles.  Conflict functions much more like a hand grenade. 

 

When we throw it at our opponent, our enemy, shrapnel flies in every direction often inflicting pain and damage on unintended targets.  And, too often, those are our children.

 

Yet our conviction and sorrow over the damage we cause our children don’t often cause us to adjust the problem.  Many times, we work hard to exchange our grenades for precision instruments of anger.  This is not the answer.  What are we to do is our conflict is hurting those around us?  …work at peace.

 

We might declare that we are not the cause of the conflict.  We are simply married to someone who fights with us all the time.  Maybe we think it is the fault of our contentious teen.  Well…maybe.  But Romans 12:18 removes the blame game altogether.

 

 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

 

If there is no other channel, be the channel of God’s grace into your home.  Allow the young standers-by to observe and experience grace as they see it in you.  Don’t pull the pin on the anger grenade.  Lay down the sniper’s rifle. 

 

Not only will this have a profound impact on your own joy. …not only will this impact your marriage.  But this will also have an immeasurable impact on your children…now and into their future.