By Trish Donohue

I'm currently reading the kids "Anne of Green Gables".  It's a stretch for the boys, but I promised they'd like it, despite its lack of explosions and guy stuff.  And they do.  If you haven't read it, Anne is an orphan girl adopted by a pair of elderly siblings who ends up changing the small town through her charming personality.  She gets herself in "scrapes", but always comes out even more lovable than before.  You can't help liking her.

What makes her such a great main character?

• She's passionate about everything:  Nature, learning, friendships.
• She's incredibly imaginative, turning simple life into magical fantasies.
• She's smart as a whip and even her outbursts are insightful.  Her descriptions are stirring, her rhetoric is flawless, her recitations move the town to tears.
• All this, and she remains for the most part a faithful, simple girl.

After reading the book, you want to be like her.  But the fact is, few of us are.  Most of us are, truthfully, not that exceptional.  We're not moving people to tears with our oratory, we're not changing the world with our natural cheer, we're not winning first prize at anything, and we think of good retorts only after the conversation is over.  Some of us are dull, even downright awkward, and pretty un-Anne-like.

Who would bother putting us in their story?

Flip open to 1 Corinthians 1:

For consider your calling, brothers:  not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.

Ouch, but true!

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.

God chose us.  The Author chose us.  Like Moses, Jacob, David, Peter, Mary Magdalene, and so many others on His leading character list, we're hopelessly flawed.  But He chose our slow tongues, our dull minds, our checkered pasts, and incorporated us into His story.  Not only that, but He adopted us orphans as His own children.  Amazing!

The passage ends like this:

And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord".

It doesn't matter if I'm not impressive:  It matters if I'm "in Christ Jesus".  It doesn't matter if my kids aren't winning blue ribbons and charm contests:  God chooses even the weak.

Unlike the books that we enjoy, what matters in this story isn't the quality of the characters, but the quality of the author who, in this case, really is worth boasting about.

By Jill Vander Weide

Saul of Tarsus received a glorious commission from God to take the gospel to the uttermost parts of the earth. That was after a voice and light from heaven knocked him off his horse, struck him blind, and something like scales fell from his eyes. For me, it was a pair of glasses that just kept falling from my eyes that prompted a gospel commission of smaller sorts - not to the uttermost but to the optometrist. It was the third time in a month that my sole pair of eyeglasses broke, and finally, when I asked the Lord for clarity, I began to “see” God’s plan in it. Could I be sensing correctly that this bit of ocular misfortune was providing an opportunity for more than my growth in trust and patience, but an opportunity for proclaiming the gospel?

But to which worker did God want me to speak? How would I know when to go? How should I open the conversation? How much should I say? The questions flooded my mind. A number of busy days passed. I was still eyeglass-less. I didn’t feel ready enough to share. I reasoned that I must first spend sufficient time fasting and in prayer. Then, I would feel ready. I just didn’t want to mess up God’s plan. I was living as if the success of each mission he gave me had more to do with my plan, my obedience, my preparation, my courage, and my role in proclaiming His gospel. And that made the responsibility seem a whole lot more intimidating.

If only I could have heard one of our Acts series sermons about evangelism back then. I would have realized it was all about His plan, His unleashed Word, His work in human hearts before we ever enter the scene. I would have realized that it wasn’t up to me to devise my own plan or to feel pressure to “perform” a perfect gospel proclamation. All Philip had to do was to follow the Spirit’s voice to the Ethiopian eunuch and open his mouth to proclaim God’s gospel. God had already prepared the eunuch’s heart to receive the message. He just needed an available and willing messenger. God is no respecter of persons. Whenever we follow Paul’s and Philip’s example and listen to and follow God’s direction, we too will bear much fruit. We may pray with someone who is ready to repent and turn to Christ for salvation, or we may just play our part in the long chain of influences in another’s life. But in either case, the fruit of obedience and faithfulness is eternal. Remember, in John 21, when the disciples fished all night on their own and caught nothing. Once they listened to Jesus and put out their net precisely where Christ told them to, the catch was significant.

My husband must have known something of the Master’s role in the mission field of that North Carolina eyeglass store now two decades ago. Despite my own lack of preparation, Brian discreetly grabbed my broken glasses and brought them with us on errands. I felt a bit like Jonah thrust from the big fish as my newlywed husband pulled into the parking lot of the optometrist and flung open the door for me.

The one employee in the office at the time was just finishing up with his last customer when I walked through God’s open door. With no time to rehearse what I would say, I was forced to lean upon God and ask Him for boldness and faith to share the good news of Christ. The whole time the man fixed my glasses, I could think of nothing to say. As he handed them back repaired, I thanked him but made no move toward the door. After an awkward pause and another arrow prayer, I nervously opened my mouth. I told him I could not leave until I told him the more important reason God had sent me that day. “You see,” I expressed, “I believe God is involved in all the events of our lives, and that He is the one who has allowed my glasses to be broken so many times because He wants me to share with you how God saved me and the difference He makes in the lives of those who trust in Christ.” No eloquent introduction here. And what followed was just a simple pronouncement of my testimony and God’s gospel. The optometrist thanked me for being willing to take time with him, adding that all I had shared were the very things his sister had been saying to him on many long distance phone calls. He felt that God was getting his attention that day and telling him to listen to her. With the help of God and my husband, I had just entered the scene of God’s activity.

Since that time, I’ve experienced the joy of watching God use telephone calls, even “wrong” numbers, appliance and car break downs, confessions of sin, our neighborhood, even our very doorstep as opportunities to get His message out. I’ve seen him time and again turn trips to stores, hospitals, hairdressers, restaurants, doctors’ and dentists’ offices, parks, the gym and everything in between into opportunities to love people by taking time to share the good news of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t take great effort to find fish, just a willingness to interrupt our agenda, take time with people, and open our mouths with God’s glorious message. He brings the fish right to our boat. He is choosing which servant He will place in whose path at any given time. Are we listening to the Master Fisherman’s voice tell us where to cast the net of the gospel and our testimony of His salvation? Then, lets grab our nets (His gospel and the Word of your testimony) and get ready to fish.
 

By Uchenna Osegbu

This week we are celebrating God’s work in our teens.  Today we’re sharing the testimony of one of our young women who was baptized on Sunday.

Like most people in the church, I was born in a Christian home.  My mom, who is the godliest person I have ever known, stressed how important God was and how much I and my siblings needed him in our lives.  However, as I got older, God became less and less important to me.  It seemed like Christianity was only for adults, and I thought that my childhood was the time to have fun and do whatever I wanted, regardless of the spiritual consequences.  In my mind, God would only restrain me and ruin my fun, and I didn’t want that.  God was in no way a part of my life (unless I wanted something), and, at the time, that was okay with me.

Not only did I not know of God and His everlasting mercies, I didn’t want to know.  I never prayed, my Bible went untouched, and I tried to avoid everything and everyone having to do with the church at all costs.  I thought that my worldly “friends” were all that I needed and that if God really loved me, He would let me have my fun and live for me, and then just forgive me later for whatever I did wrong.  I thought that I was invincible and that I didn’t need God; little did I know that God had a plan call “Operation Takeover” for my life.

As freshman year at a new school began, so did one of the hardest years of my life.  I knew that I wasn’t happy and that something was missing from my life, and though deep inside I knew what it was, it took me a long time to admit to myself that it was God.  When I finally did, I knew that I wanted Him in my life and I wanted to live for Him.  The problem was, I didn’t know how.  I tried over and over to let Him into my heart, but it never felt real, and soon after, I would fall back into my old routine.  I was sad and frustrated because it seemed like God was denying me and didn’t want me.  But on August 15, 2008, at Youth Camp 08, the Lord pursued me, and I truly gave my life to Him.  I haven’t gone back since.

For the past two years of my life, God has been waging war on my sinful nature.  Each and every battle was a terrible struggle between my sin and God’s love that I could have never fought on my own, but in His infinite mercy, God gave me the strength and wisdom to fight through each of the devil’s snares.  He comforted me in times of deep pain, and when my sins brought me to my knees, He lifted me up again.  Even when I strayed on my own (which happened more times than I can count), God would show me my sin and accept me back with open arms.  I have no idea where I would be if it wasn’t for the love and sacrifice of my Savior Jesus, who died on the cross and rose again to save sinners like me, but I do know that because God chose me to receive the blessing of His son’s sacrifice, I, an undeserving wretch and sinner, now have the privilege of spending my life and all of eternity with Jesus and living in His loving kindness and care.

By Rachel Gonzales

I am so very thankful for the wonderful Christian friends the Lord has brought into my life. He has been kind to grow friendships that are an integral part of His work to make me more like Him.

Recently, I used one of my “phone a friends” in a now humorous situation. But at the time it was a bit stressful. My youngest and her hair again…here’s what happened.

My two daughters and I were getting ready to leave for an appointment. We were at the “need to leave in 20 minutes” mark when my youngest, in an attempt to be helpful, came into my room and said, “Mommy, something happened.” She then turned around and revealed her matted, mangled mess of hair…with a brush handle sticking out of it. The round brush she decided to use to brush her hair was so stuck that it did not even move when she turned around. I tried to stay calm as I quickly checked my watch and evaluated the situation. I began working on the mess and realized that scissors could be in our near future. I worked on her hair for a few minutes and then realized that freedom for this brush was going to require a bold move…the bathtub.

My frustration was rising. I knew this was just a mistake, made because she wanted to be helpful. I was trying to figure out how late we would be to our activity. I was trying to imagine her with a cute, short bob as I worked to keep my voice in check. And then God nudged me to use a “phone a friend”. So I called my sweet friend and asked for prayer, knowing that just making the call was God offering me accountability for this situation.

Well, after the tub and half a bottle of conditioner later, my littlest still had most of her hair. I did find some amusement in the size of the tangle I was working on in light of another time God had used my daughter’s tangled hair to get my attention. Read about it here: 

http://www.covfel.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=52015&articleId=9285

But it was the “phone a friend” that God kept bringing me back to. The most immediate need at the time was for me to keep my cool and not to lose my patience over a mistake, over her attempt at being a helpful “big girl”. Obviously I didn’t want to have to cut her hair, but the length of her hair is not really a huge deal in the big picture of life. My reaction to life, however, is a big deal, especially to my girls. My reactions will teach them how to react. My actions do speak very boldly about what I believe about our Lord. It’s hard for the gospel to be on display when I react sinfully to life’s circumstances.

God used my “phone a friend” to help keep me in check. He used it to offer me help in exhibiting the fruit of the spirit to my daughters. I needed the accountability He offered to demonstrate patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. That day, accountability came through a friendship of His growing. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of friendship.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” 
                                                                                                                   Hebrews 10:24 

By Rob Flood

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just ask questions about what to do with our children, get the answers, and have everything work wonderfully?  Wouldn’t that make a great blog?  Well, it might make a popular blog, but not a great one.  A great parenting blog in the Christian world does not contain answers on what to do with your children.  It contains thoughts on how to think of your children.  It contains insights on how to understand and believe God for your children. 

This focus, how to think of your children and how to believe God for your children, is an important focus when it comes to entertainment choices.  While some things are clearly off limits and wrong, most forms of entertainment that draw our children are not as clear cut.  Coming to conclusions on these subjects is less like a fact-finding mission and more like unearthing an artifact.  It is not quick and to the point.  It is more like careful work, dusting and preserving what we’re after.

In a recent blog, C.J. Mahaney wrote on children’s use of video games.  I believe you will find it helpful as you seek to unearth and dust off the very personalized, nuanced path of parenting for each of your children.  Here is that blog. (click here.)

Also, let me recommend reading or rereading Chapter 6 from the Worldliness book.  In it, Jeff Purswell helps us see the world with biblical eyes: not as entirely good nor entirely wicked.  He challenges us with statements such as:

A biblical worldview sees every moment of life lived under the sovereign grace of God and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Scripture’s story is emphatic: God’s rule extends to all of creation and therefore to all of our lives.  As Abraham Kuyper famously put it, “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: Mine!” (p. 156)

This is a helpful approach to thinking about the world…those things that fall in the gray.  While there is no “one size fits all,” the principle of Christ’s lordship…therefore his ownership…is unwavering.

May God guide you as you discover his will for your family as it relates to video games…and the million other areas where we, as parents, must walk by faith.

By Barb Cournoyer

Mark Prater did a message recently in our Acts series on the activity of the Holy Spirit. Since that time I’ve tried to find areas that the Spirit has been at work in the day to day activities of life. Intercessory prayer would have to be an area where the Lord regularly surprises me by giving me opportunities to pray for others. It’s in this area that the Lord has poured out faith and encouraged my soul that He is ever with us and knows our every need. I confess that I don’t have all the answers about how prayer works, but am so grateful that a Holy God who doesn’t really need us to do what He can do without us brings us in to see His power at work.

I’ll give you some of the WOW moments where the Lord has left me speechless and in awe of His power at work among us. The first WOW moment occurred several years back when I was driving home from Maryland. I had plenty of time to think and pray. A family from church that I didn’t really know came to mind. I wasn’t sure what was going on for them or why they were on my mind so I just prayed a simple prayer that the Lord would meet them and provide for them whatever was going on. Several weeks later I saw them in church and told them that the Lord had brought them to mind. They told me that at the time I was praying for them, they were out of the country in the process of adopting their son. They had hit a significant amount of opposition and were experiencing difficulty. That day, the Lord broke through for them and provided what they needed.

The next WOW moment occurred after a Global Initiative prayer meeting where we were praying for Sri Lanka. Several months later I had an opportunity to meet one of the pastors and asked how they were doing. As he gave me the update, he repeated back to me almost verbatim the prayer I prayed for them. Except he was telling me the answers of how God has been providing for them and lifting “the cloud of oppression,” exactly what I had prayed. There were many other things he said that were prayed at that meeting. I was speechless and undone. I think I was weeping while he was talking to me. I could hardly believe that the Lord allowed me to see his mighty hand at work in this way.

The next time someone is just “on your mind,” pray for them and then follow-up and see how the Lord is at work. I like to leave messages for folks or send an email or card to let them know that they’ve been on my heart. It is amazing how many times someone has told me that they were in the midst of a trial and they were encouraged to know that the Lord was caring for them through the body of Christ and intercessory prayer. 

By Ramona Doyle

Remember that poem that starts, “I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where…”? I made a startling realization recently while reevaluating some of my priorities. Without intentional effort, I can easily live much of my life just like the archer in Longfellow’s poem, blindly shooting my energy and efforts in many directions, yet failing to hit any mark. To get to the point…when I aim at nothing, it’s easy to hit it.

But that is not how the Lord calls us to live our lives. He beckons a measure of intentionality when, in Ephesians 5:15-16, he cautions us, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” The Lord kindly reminds us how important it is to focus our efforts in the various areas of our lives so that we can make wise choices and maximize our fruitfulness.

This point was driven home for me recently while taking the FPU course. We set some financial goals to guide our spending and saving. With measurable goals in mind for things like food and household items, I began to realize how much money I had previously been wasting for lack of a target. Meeting our goals required a greater measure of planning, which changed my haphazard spending habits and rekindled my excitement for cooking and serving creative meals to my family. My family is enjoying my cooking much more, and it seems we are eating better for less—much better for much less. We saw many dividends for an ounce of intentionality in the area of finances.

There are many areas of our lives where setting measurable goals and living with intentionality can pay abundant dividends: our devotional lives, our marriages, our parenting, our homemaking, our use of time, our service to the church, our care for our bodies. I find it helpful to seek the Lord, evaluate, talk with my husband, and set goals in these areas at least once a year. And the Lord, in his kindness, seems to multiply his grace so that the dividends from one area spill over into every area of my life.

Where are you aiming your energy and efforts? Perhaps it is time to target some measurable goals.

By Megan Mellinger

Reading plays a vital role in our spiritual growth as believers.  But if you are anything like me, you have an ever growing list of books you’d like to read, but a limited amount of time to get that reading done!  So the question of what you read and don’t read becomes all the more important. 

I’ve noticed that as women we can be naturally drawn to books of a more practical nature – books that are usually written by female authors that speak to our roles as wives and mothers.  At times we might even restrict our reading entirely to books like this. 

Now practical application is a very good thing and is essential to the Christian life!  And I thank God for the many books by godly women that have had a great impact on my life.  I have been helped tremendously by some of the parenting books out there and books that address me in my role as wife and mom. 

But one of the (perhaps surprising) things I’ve learned along the way is that the books that help me the most to be a better wife and mom are books by theologians and pastors that deepen my understanding and appreciation of the cross and help me love the Savior more…in other words, books that are more theological in nature. 

So if you were to ask me what books have helped me most as a wife and mom I think I would tell you books like Scandalous by D.A. Carson (which I just finished and absolutely loved!) or Holiness by J.C. Ryle (who has impacted me enough to name my firstborn son Ryle after him!) or Spiritual Depression by Martin Lloyd-Jones (probably my favorite author, although I don’t anticipate naming any of my children Martin, Lloyd, or Jones).

These are books that are full of Scripture, and books that preach the truth of God’s word to my heart.  These are the type of books that feed my soul and increase my faith toward God...and as a result there is an increase in the fruit of the Spirit in my life, which in turn makes me a better wife and mother. 

It is this fruit of the Spirit that will also attract my children to the gospel.  I’ve come to realize that my own personal holiness will do more to draw my children to God than my teaching or techniques.  What I need most as a mom (or wife or daughter or friend) isn’t a methodology to apply, but the transforming power of the gospel.  And so my reading diet ought to reflect that great need. 

To be clear, I do think we need to continue reading books on parenting and biblical femininity (in fact I’m in the middle of reading a parenting book right now!).  And I think as women we should be reading some of the great books by female authors.  But I don’t think this should be the biggest portion of our reading.  Let’s reserve the biggest portion of our reading diet for those books that feed our souls on God’s word and deepen our love for the Savior. 

And as we do this, don’t be too surprised to find yourself continuing to grow as a wife, mother, and woman of God in the process!

By Trish Donohue

 

Analogies about spring abound.  Poets love to wax eloquent about spring; singers love to croon about spring.  All those themes of growth, renewal, hope, and life get us all worked up and we begin to pontificate—but appropriately.  It is a pretty amazing thing to see the earth moving and growing as it responds to its Creator. 

 

So the kids and I were quoting Robert Frost as we noticed the new yellowish leaves:  “Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.”  That is, until we saw our pink azaleas and it turned into, “Nature’s first green is pink,” and of course that rhymed with stink… and you get the feel of the rest of the poetry, complete with giggles.

 

But Robert Frost was right; spring can’t hold her new beauty long.

 

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold. 
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour. 
Then leaf subsides to leaf. 
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day. 
Nothing gold can stay.  

 

The world is so infatuated with spring because it represents all we want life to be.  We want to be young and fresh and growing.  We want to be flowering and beautiful.  We want another chance.  We want beauty to come from the hard ground of our lives.  We want endless potential. 

 

But life isn’t like that, is it?  Eden didn’t stay.  It “sank to grief.”  Because of sin, its beauty faded, its gates closed.  I appreciate a poet who, Christian or not, makes accurate observations about life.  But oh, how I hope that Robert Frost heard and believed the gospel before he died. 

Our hearts long for more than a fading flower—they long for eternity, because they were made for eternity. 

 

 

So here’s my little addendum to “Nothing Gold Can Stay.”  Will you permit me Mr. Frost? 

 

          
            …So dawn goes down to day

            Nothing gold can stay.

            Until One free of blame,

            Bled for all our shame;

            Made an end of sin,

            And conquered death within.

            Our Prince reversed the fall,
            And one sweet day will call:
            “Now dawn goes down to dawn,
             And everything gold can stay.”

A Truly Good, Successful Day

By Deb Demi

Editor’s Note:  I came across a blog that Deb Demi did awhile back that we’ve never run so I thought it would be a great to share it this week. 

I have a tendency to be a very task-driven person.  So to me a good day is one in which I get a lot of stuff done and have a lot to show for my effort.  And unfortunately I can measure the success of my day by physical productivity, not necessarily by doing what God values most.

A few months ago while I was shopping in one of my favorite department stores I became aware of an employee in the section that I was shopping in.  She was working very diligently hanging up clothes, rushing here and there to return misplaced items, being very intent on making sure that her department was in tiptop condition.  As she was in the midst of her tasks, a customer approached her to ask a question.  Instead of responding politely, she was very curt and answered in a snarl.  Another customer met a rebuke as she inadvertently returned an item to the wrong spot.  Immediately my judgmental heart began to say, "Doesn't she know that she's here to serve us?  If it weren't for us customers she wouldn't have a job.  Would her employer appreciate her diligent work if they knew how she was treating the customers?"

But almost as quickly as those thoughts entered my head, conviction came rushing in.  Suddenly I saw myself in that woman.  I saw myself at home diligently working at completing my endless lists of tasks.  I was reminded of the way that I snarled at one of my kids who asked me to help them get a drink… how I responded when I walked into a room that was a mess.  The way that I impatiently brushed off my husband's affection because I was in the middle of slicing bread…  How I saw cleaning the refrigerator as more valuable than playing a game with my kids…  Yes, I can be very much like that woman.

There is nothing wrong with me completing tasks and making my home a comfortable environment for my family.  But, when I forget why I am doing these things, I end up doing them for my own satisfaction rather than for my family.  My family becomes an interruption rather than the objects of my affection and I forget the calling that I have received… to love my husband and to love my children. 

Yes, when we put being loving towards our family ahead of checking off everything on our to-do list, we may not get everything done.  But as we trust God by doing what He has called us to do, He will be glorified and our family will feel loved.  And when those things happen, it will be a truly good, successful day.

By Trish Donohue

 

You know how there are some topics that are a little untouchable?  We don’t usually chat about these over coffee or call a friend for a quick conversation about them.  It’s a little like my daughter’s reaction when I tried to get a splinter out tonight: “Nooo!  Get away!”

 

Well, I think the big green topic of envy is one of them.  If I’m thinking of things I’m willing to confess to others or even admit to myself, envy is probably on the short list of topics to avoid.   Yet if we are honest, we all battle it in some way at some time.  We can envy others’ appearance, children, intellect, personality, homes, style, talents, even spiritual maturity.  The list of envy temptations is exactly as long as the list of things we want in life. 

 

Fortunately our friends on the Girltalk blog have guts!  They are jumping right into a forthright, gracious, helpful discussion on a topic that gets to the heart of the envy challenge.    

 

They recently asked us this question:

 

Envy (like all sin) robs us of peace.  Think about it: have you ever met an envious person who was content, at ease, and happy?  Have you ever envied and been at peace at the same time?  I doubt it. 

 

No!  I haven’t!  You got me.

 

But how about you?  Do you need a more specific description?  Here’s one from Jonathan Edwards that will dig a little deeper:

 

“[A]n envious disposition is…most uncomfortable and uneasy to its possessor….It is like a powerful eating cancer, preying on the vitals, offensive and full of corruption.  And it is the most foolish kind of self-injury; for the envious make themselves trouble most needlessly, being uncomfortable only because of others’ prosperity, when that prosperity does not injure themselves, or diminish their enjoyments or blessings.  But they are not willing to enjoy what they have, because others are enjoying also.”

 

Those are the symptoms.  If you want the prescription, I encourage you to check out the blog (http://www.girltalkhome.com/) and benefit from the wisdom of God’s Word and others who are walking the genuine Christian walk. 

By Trish Donohue

Most Christians have had the experience of reading the Bible and suddenly a passage you’ve read a million times goes slow-mo and it seems like you’re reading it for the first time.  It’s like the Holy Spirit is the director yelling, “Hold it!  Slow this part down!  In fact, rewind it for her!  She’s never gotten this part!” 

 

So I’m reading John the other morning (Isn’t John the most frequently read book?  Haven’t I read it a gazillion times?) and this is the scene I come across in chapter 6:

 

Jesus looks up and sees a mob of needy people heading straight for him, and he says to Philip,

 

“Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?” 

 

Philip was probably thinking to himself, “How in the world am I supposed to know?  You’re in charge here!”

 

And just when you’re entering into the panic and worry of the situation, you read the next line, which makes me laugh:

“He said this to test him for he himself knew what he would do.”

 

Of course Jesus knew what he would do.  He wasn’t really wondering.  He wasn’t wringing his hands, figuring out the distance to the nearest Wawa, estimating the size of the crowd.  He might have grinned and watched Philip out of the corner of his eye as he asked the question to see how Philip would respond. 

 

Here’s the paraphrase for my life: 

 

Jesus is walking beside me and looks up and sees a potential problem coming up.

 

“Hey Trish,” he says (maybe with a grin I’m too busy to notice), “What are we gonna do here—this isn’t looking so good.”

 

My typical response is: “I know!  I was thinking that exact same thing Jesus!  Yikes!  It’s all falling apart!  I knew it would!  That plan, that kid, that test, that relationship, that dream—it’s all going down!  Do you mind if I stop for a minute to worry and plan and fret until I figure it out?”

 

I don’t think Jesus says, “Oh, brother,” but I’d understand if he would.  Instead, we know through scripture that he does these things to test us, for he himself knows what he will do.

 

He knows exactly what he will do!  He isn’t confused, overwhelmed, upset, or worried.  He sees the situation clearly, and promises to work all things together for good for those who love him.  And that’s who I get to walk beside.  By God’s grace, I think I’m slowly learning to look over at him when he asks that question, and say, “You know what you’re doing Lord.  You’ll provide all that’s needed.  You always do.”

By Jared Mellinger

 

On Friday I spoke to the wives of the pastors of Covenant Fellowship on the ‘excellent wife’ of Proverbs 31.  In addition to commending their example and thanking God for Meghan in particular, I read to them my version of “the Anti-Proverbs 31 Woman”. 

 

A substandard wife, who can find?

Her husband must micro-manage her,

And he hesitates to delegate anything to her.

She does him harm, not good,

All the days of her life.

She takes no delight in working,

And she labors with unwilling hands.

She finds a large number of tasks objectionable,

And carries them out with a languid footstep.

She looks first to her own interests in everything,

And avoids being inconvenienced at all costs.

Her household receives no attention,

And her children are neglected.

Her life orbits around herself,

She is lost in her own world.

She often sleeps in,

Her mouth feasts on the bread of idleness.   

She is indecisive in decision making,

And her husband is a crutch in all things.

She rarely plans ahead,

And it brings chaos to her home.

She lives in the grip of fear,

Her closest companion is anxiety for the future. 

Her husband is floundering in the gates,

Where he sits among the elders of the land.

She occasionally fears the Lord,

But cares far more about physical beauty. 

She receives the fruit of her hands

When no one praises her in the gates.

 

Aren’t we glad that God’s grace and mercy overcomes our Anti-Proverbs 31, or Anti-Sermon on the Mount, or Anti-First Corinthians 13 tendencies so that we increasingly live conforming to God’s will and obedient to His word. 

By Ramona Doyle

We buy milk, eggs, and bread before a winter snow storm.  We keep candles in a drawer to be prepared for a power outage.  We stockpile wood all summer to supplement our winter heating costs and provide cozy winter fires.  We have savings for times of emergency.  But in our physical preparations for very real needs, we can sometimes neglect to build an arsenal that will serve us by fueling our hearts with faith during times of trial.  In a time of trial, the physical challenges are hard—no question, but the state of our hearts and souls can make it nothing short of overwhelming.

When I go through a trial, my greatest challenge is the battle to draw peace and security from the Lord.  This is often accompanied by the realization that I have rooted my security and sense of well being in something other than the Lord…usually my own strength and abilities or in my circumstances.  Things have been going well and I feel great.  I think I am prepared for the future, then something happens and I am caught off guard and unprepared.  Circumstances can change, sometimes very quickly, and my own strength is suddenly woefully inadequate.  It actually has been all along, but if I’ve rooted my security there, I will often fail to see it!

I have found that the battle to walk securely in these seasons can be won or lost by where I daily (and minute by minute!) choose to fix my eyes.  Do I spend countless hours looking at my trial and all the ugly possibilities, weighing and sorting them over and over in my mind?  Or, do I set my gaze on the Lord who is the only unchanging source of hope and help who has promised he will never leave or forsake me?  Where I fix my eyes will ultimately fill my heart…either with fear and striving or with confidence and peace during uncertain times.  And my best preparation for times of trial is developing habits now that will serve me then…habits of looking to the Lord and his Word for daily life-giving sustenance.

Prayer and God’s Word are priceless, ageless reservoirs that the Lord has given us to fuel our hearts with faith and fortify our souls with confidence for times of difficulty.  Scripture tells us that as we lift our requests before the Lord—as we place our burdens in his capable hands—we will know an abiding peace that will guard our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7).  And Scripture is filled with promises of the Lord’s care for those he has redeemed.  It is in Scripture that we are reminded, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).  In our frailty and forgetfulness, we need to gather this kind of manna each and every day.

Let us be like the ant who gathers his food in the summer, and store up priceless treasures by daily drawing deeply from the Lord’s limitless storehouse.  What an arsenal is right there for us!

By Cindy Campbell

If you know me, you know I am an avid fan of the blog "Girltalk" by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters.  I love the fact that I can be encouraged, challenged and affected by the Lord in my house while I am working throughout my day.

A while back the girls at Girltalk were talking about the different seasons that we experience as women.  They began with teens and how as teenage women we can use that season of our lives for the glory of the Lord and honoring him.  (You can read those posts by clicking http://girltalk.blogs.com/)  They then turned to the single season that we all experience as ladies.  It was a wonderful reminder of that season of my life 29+ years ago.  In a post dated 2.26.09 Carolyn wrote about single women nurturing children.  I have pondered and thought about her words a lot since then.  Here is a snippet of what she posted:

So, how does a single woman enter into the meaning of motherhood if she doesn’t have children of her own?  How does she express her femininity as life-bearer, as nurturer?  Elisabeth Elliot answered this question: 

“A single woman can have children!  She may be a spiritual mother, as was Amy Carmichael [missionary to orphans in India], by the very offering of her singleness, transformed for the good of far more children than a natural mother may produce.”

Single women, you can express your femininity in this season of your life by nurturing other people’s children.

When you babysit, you are giving expression to your femininity.  When you take an interest and reach out to children in your sphere of relationships, you are displaying your God-given gift of femininity. 

And may I say “thank you” on behalf of all of us mothers!  Thank you for the way you nurture our children.  Thank you for the countless times you have served us through babysitting.  Thank you for the way you have loved our children as if they were your very own.  It means so much to us!

However, you are doing more than just blessing us; you are honoring God by giving expression to the nurturing aspect of your femininity

As I ponder this I thought it would be fitting that as the moms of CFC that we thank all the single women (and men!) in our midst who have served us, and nurtured our children.  Thank you for the Godly example that you set before our little ones.  Thank you for living a life that honors the Savior and that we can point you out to our children as some one to follow as you follow the Lord.  Thank you for the creative ways you bring life and laughter into our children’s lives.  Thank you more than we could EVER express for loving our children and for allowing us to attend meetings or go on dates!!  Truly you are some of the greatest servants we know and you are great in our hearts and in the eyes of the Lord.  It is a privilege to be a part of the “Family of God “along side of you!

By Ramona Doyle

Did you know that the Lord wants us to have joy?  In fact, he specifically addressed his disciples on this very topic!  OK…cool.  But how does that relate to my Monday mornings and my sleepless nights, or the stacks of unfolded laundry in the hall?  How does Sunday morning translate into my busy week?  How do I find joy in the trenches of my life?

In the Gospel of John, shortly before his betrayal and arrest, Jesus gathers his disciples and spends some significant time teaching them on a variety of topics.  It is as if he wants to make sure they really get the important stuff before he goes to the cross.  He’s preparing them to stand strong and draw from him in the midst of a chaotic world that opposes everything they hold dear.  And joy is one of his themes!  “These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).  Jesus not only wanted them to have joy, but to have it in fullness!  And he wasn’t just talking about that wonderful day when we will rest in his arms free from sin and suffering; he was talking about the trenches—the everyday stuff of their lives.

So this begs the question, what things did he speak to the disciples that they might find joy?  I love to ask these kinds of questions when I dig into God’s word.  Notice that his comment follows that well-known passage from John 15 on abiding in the vine—walking in close relationship with the Lord by responding to his lavish love with trust and obedience to his commandments.  Jesus promises this is the key to knowing joy in the every day.

Abiding.  I don’t know about you, but I can be pretty good at abiding in myself.  Think about it…you get up in the morning and walk to the bathroom mirror, and what do you see?  OK, don’t answer that.  Then you go downstairs and what is the first thing you see?  If you’re like me, it’s often everything you didn’t get done the day before.  Everything screams for your attention.  Your kids need you.  You get wrapped up in the duties of the day and by the end of the day you’re treading water waiting for a life-preserver to float by.

Yes, we need a devotional time each day to draw strength from the Lord’s abundant grace.  But abiding is also about the nitty-gritty of the day.  I find that I am helped in the trenches by small minute by minute choices look past what my physical eyes see and remember some priceless truths about my day…things like: this day has already been recorded in the Lord’s book (Psalm 139:16), that God is with me and acquainted with this circumstance (Psalm 139:1-3), that he will be strength in my weakness (2 Corinthians 4:7), and guide me in the midst (Psalm 73:23-24).  Then I choose to trust him over my temptation to pout, react, or operate in self-sufficiency.

We won’t always get it right, but as we seek to abide in those little minutes, he promises joy.  May the Lord help us to say with the psalmist, “For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for Joy” (Psalm 92:4).

By Gina Flood

 

May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the Lord; ascribe greatness to our God.

Deuteronomy 32:2-3

 

Do you ever experience one of those seasons where you know the Lord is revealing a theme in your life? You hear him speaking through a myriad of avenues: the Sunday message, the Scriptures you are studying, the blog entries you read, the worship songs you hear, a word from a friend (or a stranger), the book you’re reading, and so on.

 

I’m thankful for such graces . Thankful that our merciful God has not opened the earth and swallowed me up for my sin and slow sanctification.  I’m thankful for God’s kindness in providing those myriad of avenues to capture the attention of this very dim and easily distractible gal from Jersey. And I am thankful that he faithfully supplies the grace necessary for change.

 

Gentleness is a current theme under construction these days, particularly in relation to my children. Through the course of the busyness of the day, I am tempted to default towards expedience, railroading my agenda over the hearts of the little ones entrusted to me.

 

The passage from Deuteronomy inspires me with hope and vision for what God can do. It comes from a song intended for a group of people who had seen indescribable wonders, experienced miraculous provision, and had been spared time and again through divine protection. Yet even that was not enough to secure devoted hearts for God, strong against the worldliness and idolatry that was to surround them. Sadly, I am just like that.

 

I’ve seen God’s goodness again and again.  I’ve seen him bless, sustain, and deliver from temptation.  This song ought to be flowing from my lips as well.

 

How I desire for my speech to distill as the dew, to refine and purify, rather than muddy their souls with harsh words and tones. I want to burn the picture in my brain of gentle rain falling on tender grass. A gentle rain that soaks and permeates the ground, refreshing and nourishing a parched, tender grass that can so easily be destroyed by harsh rains that rebound, run off, and damage.

 

The tender souls of my children, souls we desperately want to fall at the foot of the cross, respond better to the gentle rain of Mom’s pleasant countenance and grace-filled words and tones than to the driving, pounding, damaging stare or word that has nothing of Christ in it.  Souls that need to hear recollections of what God has done, what he is doing, and what he will do.  Living Water that sees beyond the busyness of the day to eternity and refreshes weary souls with grace for today and hope for tomorrow.

 

In all of this, of course, I have to remind myself that it is all by grace alone. My best efforts to be a gentle rain will yield little more than a mess.  I need God’s grace… I am desperate for God’s grace! 

 

I am so powerless to accomplish biblical and lasting change on my own…I have proven it time and again. I must ruthlessly, in the power of the Holy Spirit, destroy every idol of my heart and renew my soul with Gospel truth. I must rely only and ever on the finished work of Christ on the cross and remember that he has lifted me out of the mire, placed my feet on a firm place, and filled my mouth with a new song.

 

Praise God, I am new and he has given me everything I need for life and godliness!  He will give me everything I need for today and make up everything I lack in my flesh. He has called me and His grace equips me to carry out His calling through wonder of the cross.

 

So, hallelujah, that, by the grace of God alone, this Jersey girl can speak like a gentle rain with words that distill as the dew. I am excited and hope-filled, knowing the One that is in me is greater than my most selfish, me-craving and he is eager to speak through me. He is eager to speak through you, too. May he be your dew, your gentle rain and may he use the words of your mouth to be gentle rain for others…by grace alone.

 

By Trish Donohue

 

Here’s a riddle for you—complete with my own best guesses…

 

What revives the soul,  (strong coffee?)

Makes simple people wise,  (Cliff Notes?)

Makes your heart rejoice,  (a big tax return?)

Enlightens you,  (People magazine?)

Endures forever,  (a bad haircut?)

Is more desirable than gold,  (a cleaning lady?)

Is sweeter than honey,  (boardwalk fudge?)

Offers great reward? (Botox ads?)

 

I was reading Psalms in my quiet time the other day, and I came across this exact riddle in Psalm 19.  As I read it, my eyes opened wider and my grogginess wore off.  I was thinking, “Hey, I need all this stuff!”  My soul needs to be revived, I need wisdom desperately, my heart needs to rejoice, I need to be enlightened, and I definitely want great reward.  This is quite a sales pitch.  And since I found it in the Bible and not in a magazine, it’s got to be true!

 

So are you ready?  The answer is God’s Word.  But now that you know the answer, do you feel a hint of disappointment?  Are you thinking, “Oh, it’s a spiritual answer—there really isn’t anything real and practical that accomplishes all of that.  Bummer.”

 

Those are your idols talking (well actually, they’re mine, but you probably have some of your own.)  They’re jealous because they want you to look to them for relief and refreshment.  They like to make the bold promises. “You want refreshment?” they ask.  “Watch me.” “Buy me.”  “Seek me.”  “Lust after me.”  “Trust in me.” 

 

They’re all liars though.  And as God helps us grow in our faith, we’re getting smarter, and we can read Psalm 19 and believe it. 

 

What will revive my soul?  The perfect law of the Lord!

What will make my simple mind wise?  The sure testimony of the Lord!

What will make my heart rejoice?  The right precepts of the Lord!

What will enlighten my eyes?  The pure commandment of the Lord!

 

In other words, God speaks truth, through scripture, into our lied-to hearts.  He’s given us pages full of perfection, straight from his holy, brilliant, clever, creative, sovereign, understanding, amazing mind. And those words and their results bring all that we desire: refreshment, wisdom, rejoicing, enlightenment, righteousness, sweetness, reward!  What a promise!  What a deal!  And no member fees!

 

Our creator knows us so much better than we know ourselves.  Lord, open our eyes to see that your word is “more to be desired…than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.”

Editor’s Note:  This is a blog from Janis Shank, wife of Sovereign Grace pastor Steve Shank.  It’s a wonderful introduction to an unsung hero of the faith. 

 

By Janis Shank

I love biographies!  There is something powerful about reading the entirety of a person’s life journey that inspires faith toward God while I am still living mine.  Most recently, I have been deeply affected by the life of John Calvin, who was born 500 years ago July 10.  Many worldwide tributes devoted to his remembrance and the impact he made on church history are occurring this year.  John Piper explains how we honor God through appreciating Calvin in particular:

"I am eager for people to know Calvin...because he took the Bible so seriously, and because what he saw on every page was the majesty of God and the glory of Christ.  Calvin continues to inspire me because of his relentless focus on the greatness of God....

In the end, Calvin’s manifold ways of inspiring us have the effect they do century after century because he saw the gospel so clearly and made Christ so central....

If Jesus Christ, in all his majesty and excellence, is kept in clear view, the church will be kept from many errors.  Therefore, Calvin continues to inspire and serve the church five hundred years after his birth....  " (Taken from Desiring God blog)

We thought we would honor John Calvin indirectly by taking a peek at his dear wife, Idelette.  She, like us, was married to a pastor, called to be a helper to a man devoted to the service of God and His people.  What can we learn from this “older woman” of the faith?

Idelette lived from 1510 to 1549.  We are introduced to her when she and her first husband converted to the Reformed faith from being Anabaptist, and along with their two children joined John Calvin’s church in Strasbourg, Germany.  In the spring of 1540 Idelette’s husband died of the plague.  Surprisingly, by August 6 of the same year, she married John Calvin, the pastor who conducted her husband’s funeral.  Calvin’s ideal in a wife is revealed in his words to a friend: “But always keep in mind what I seek to find in her; for I am none of those insane lovers who embrace also the vices of those with whom they are in love, where they are smitten at first sight with a fine figure.  This only is the beauty which allures me, if she is chaste, if not too fussy or fastidious, if economical, if patient, if there is hope that she will be interested about my health.”  John found this ideal in Idelette as their brief and devoted union proved.

After six months of marriage, John and Idelette moved to Geneva, Switzerland where her husband assumed his new duties serving the Savior whom he so deeply loved.  They kept a lively home, offering hospitality to many and it was said of Idelette, “Your hospitality in the name of Christ is not unknown to anybody in Europe.”  She certainly assisted her husband’s ministry by keeping an open heart and an open home, often helping the poor and devoting herself to deeds of charity.

During the next few years Idelette had two miscarriages and gave birth to precious son, Jacques, who lived only two weeks.  Deeply weakened and ill from his birth, she took comfort in God and in the words of her husband, “The Lord has certainly inflicted a severe and bitter wound in the death of our infant son.  But He is Himself a father, and knows what is good for his children.”

Their marriage didn’t last long by today’s standards, and in 1549, after only nine years, Idelette finally succumbed to the illness that plagued her most of her life.  John was at her bedside when she died and heard her triumphantly exclaim, "O glorious resurrection!  O God of Abraham and of all our fathers, the believers of all the ages have trusted on Thee and none of them have hoped in vain.  And now I fix my hope on Thee.”  She certainly was a true companion to her husband and shared his deep conviction in the sovereign love and grace of God.  Her very last words proclaim God’s greatness and her trust in Him!

John Calvin’s grief was profound, and his words reveal the depth of his love for his wife, “I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, who, if our lot had been harsher, would have been not only the willing sharer of exile and poverty, but even of death.  While she lived she was the faithful helper of my ministry.  From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance.”

What can we learn from Idelette’s brief journey while we are still living ours?  Here are a few take-a-ways for our encouragement.

1. She loved the Savior and served Him by loving her husband, children and God’s people entrusted to their care, often through hospitality and deeds of love.  She devoted herself to the advancement of the gospel in her lifetime.  We have the same calling and privilege.

2. She endured loss and physical suffering by trusting in the sovereignty of God.  Though we live in an age of modern medicine and many modern conveniences, we too suffer in various ways and can find our comfort in the same Sovereign Love.

3. She was a “faithful helper” of her husband’s ministry and “the best companion” of his life.  There is something so inspiring about this simple yet profound commendation by her husband.  By God’s grace, I can do this day by day; faithfully helping and seeking to be my husband’s best companion. 

4. She maintained a robust hope in God, even at her death.  By God’s grace, may we be ever growing stronger in this hope, now in life and all the way to our dying breath.

As you enter a new week, I pray you are inspired and encouraged by this ancient pastor’s wife to trust and serve our Savior.  May God give us grace to live in such a gospel advancing way as to leave a legacy for those who will follow after us, just like our friend Idelette.

By Trish Donohue

Happy Tuesday morning ladies!  We’re virtually together here on the blog each week, but how fun to be together in spirit and body this past Saturday morning at the women’s meeting.  We got to spill our coffee on real people instead of just on our keyboards! 

The meeting was great for a variety of reasons: a lobby full of happy conversations and pastry munching, the honoring of two inspirational lives, biblical teaching, and a time of Q and A.  And notably, no sports illustrations!

As a confirmed couch potato, I’m rarely grieving the lack of sports analogies, and yet one came to mind on Saturday: I’ve been on the sidelines a lot, waiting for games to start or just cheering people on.  I’m comfortable there, and yet I’m aware that the action and excitement and victory and progress happen on the field.  How I wish I was gifted to be down there!

Many of us feel like we have been sitting on the bleachers eating our concessions, waiting for the action of women’s ministry to begin.  Once in a while a meeting is planned, and we look forward to the energy and excitement it brings, but there really doesn’t seem to be much action on the field.  What can we do though?  We’re not leading the church or setting the strategy.  We’ll just try to wait patiently.

But on Saturday morning I realized I’m not on the bleachers.  My popcorn got knocked out of my hand and I found that I’m actually, shockingly, down on the field.  The Bible says that women’s ministry is not a spectator sport where we wait for a gifted woman to rise up and lead the charge or a program to be presented.  It’s a lifestyle where we’re all seeking to disciple and encourage and minister to one another.  As we move forward, we look for older women to learn from and younger women to encourage along the way.  The field is alive with action, conversation, service, encouragement, help, and love.

Jared’s message not only got us off the bleachers, but outlined the rules for play.  The “Six Biblical Essentials of a Women's Ministry from Titus 2” are simple, clear, and solidly scriptural:

• Our women's ministry must be rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• Our women's ministry must be the responsibility of the elders of the church.
• Our women's ministry must mobilize older women to train younger women.
• Our women's ministry must be a lifestyle.
• Our women's ministry must focus on biblical womanhood.
• Our women's ministry must be a part of our plan to advance the gospel.

The practical and simple nature of the “discipleship mandate” that scripture presents ensures that no one is sitting on the sidelines; and if they are, we should pull them down to the field quick—we need them!  Elizabeth Elliot shows us just how practical these opportunities for women’s ministry are:

“It is doubtful that the Apostle Paul had in mind Bible classes or seminars or books when he spoke of teaching younger women.  He meant the simple things, the everyday example, the willingness to take time from one’s own concerns to pray with the anxious mother, to walk with her the way of the cross—with its tremendous demands of patience, selflessness, loving-kindness—and to show her, in the ordinariness of Monday through Saturday, how to keep a quiet heart. 

These lessons will come perhaps most convincingly through rocking a baby, doing some mending, cooking a supper, or cleaning a refrigerator.  Through such an example, one young woman—single or married, Christian or not—may glimpse the mystery of charity and the glory of womanhood.”

Elizabeth chose the example of the anxious mother, but there are countless other discipleship opportunities around us as well.  As we clean someone’s house, care for an elderly aunt, encourage a struggling friend, pray for a community group member, or invite a younger woman over for lunch, we are following God’s direction for us as women, and we can be sure that He will produce lasting fruit as a result.

At the close of some meetings, we are looking down at a list of things we need to do.  At the close of this meeting, we were looking around at a room full of women who’ve already been organizing and participating in some powerful women’s ministry, without even planning it!  It ended up that the message wasn’t a redirection at all, but a cheer from the sidelines encouraging us to keep going with renewed purpose and zeal for the sake of the gospel itself. 

And though we’ll always enjoy meetings, nothing can top the opportunity to play the game everyday!

By Ramona Doyle

 

Ever notice how easily the definition of “Mom, we’re out of food!” can change from person to person in your family?  Seemingly for each one, if a certain grocery item is absent then the pantry must be bare and starvation must be just around the corner.  For one child it’s OJ (it’s just not breakfast without OJ!) and for another it’s E. L. Fudge cookies.  I’ve even got one for which it is fresh broccoli—a rare breed, but don’t you love it!  My husband and I often chuckle at the comments we get over the “food thing” in our home, and balancing the wants, desires, needs, and grocery budget for our family can pose some interesting challenges.

 

But differences in personal grocery lists point to something more significant.  All of our children are different.  Their personalities differ.  Their strengths and weaknesses differ.  Their hopes and aspirations differ.  They each attach differing meanings to the situations of their lives.  Parenting in the midst of these differences can be daunting.  Competing desires and interests in our children can easily tempt us to parent on the fly—to satisfy the urgent needs of the moment and forget about the important.

 

Bill and I have seen the need for great caution as we seek to guide and direct our children’s hearts.  We want their lives—every part of them—to be informed and transformed by the power of the Gospel.  And so we need to visit and revisit our parenting standards often.  Without guiding principles in our parenting, we could easily miss instilling some of the most important and basic lessons and values our children need.

 

These are some of the considerations my husband and I hold foremost.  No matter what differing goals we have for each child in a given season, these standards inform them all:

 

1. Keep the Gospel first:  Every day affords new opportunities to highlight the wonder of God’s saving love for us in Christ.  Only in the Gospel will our children find salvation and power for true change.  Our kids need to hear it daily if they are to grow to define their lives by it.

 

2. Emphasize character:  Our children can easily be distracted by the latest cultural fads—things like clothing styles, music preferences, past-times, and patterns of communication.  They must know that character is ALWAYS more important than being cool.  And Godly character will inform and define their choices in this area as they grow in their love for the Lord and knowledge of his word.

 

3. Never let them doubt our love:  How easily we can be tempted to anger when dealing with our children’s hearts.  We want our children to be more aware of our love for them than our dissatisfaction over the state of their hearts.  Their first introduction to the Lord’s extravagant love for us is through our expression of love for them.  If our children are not aware of our affection, we may be missing something big!

God’s word is powerful (2 Timothy 3:16), and as we allow it to define our parenting, we can trust in his faithful work in the hearts of our children.

By Ramona Doyle

Editor’s Note:  As we turn our attention to the new year the temptation is to focus on fresh starts, immediate change, new goals, great plans.  But this vision, if done simply because the calendar has turned, won’t produce sustainable change, and can become a great burden in a short amount of time.  Ramona’s blog below is a great reminder where to place our focus when we face the new seasons of life.    

I don’t like to wait. Recently, while in a crowded office waiting for a doctor’s appointment, I began to half-heartedly read to my children. As I read, my thoughts drifted to everything I wasn’t getting done because I had to wait. But one of my children, noting the back-up in appointments, commented, “Gee, Mom, isn’t it great we get all this extra time to read together?”

What a different perspective! In reflecting on my attitude I realized how much time I can spend waiting impatiently for a different set of circumstances. I can do it in the day to day moments of my life, like in that crowded doctor’s office, or in the seasons of my life. I remember being a student longing for the day there were no more studies and exams. “Everything will be better then,” I reasoned. Sound familiar? We can do this in so many ways—we long for a trial to end, or for a husband, or for the time we can quit work and stay home with children, or for the day our tots are no longer in diapers, or for an end to the difficult teen years.

There is nothing wrong with God-soaked, faith-filled anticipation for what the Lord will do in the various seasons of our lives, but how often do we respond impatiently to a season of waiting and, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, run off chasing rainbows. We long for a different set of circumstances instead of appropriating what the Lord has for us here and now. And we can so easily miss out on the wonderful blessings, the lessons, and good works that the Lord has prepared for this day or season of our lives. The psalmist declared with confidence, “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:5-6) He was content in his season and circumstances because of his abiding trust in the Lord’s care and purposes in the midst. He trusted in the Lord’s unfailing mercies, unchanging goodness, and ever-sustaining grace and found contentment where the Lord had placed him.

It helps me to remember that contentment is both a matter of faith and a posturing of my heart. We can grow in contentment: We can daily feed our hearts and minds with the Word of God and allow his precious promises to fuel our faith with truth—that He is with us and active in every season and circumstance of our lives. We can pray for eyes to recognize the Lord’s activity in our daily circumstances. And we can practice thankfulness for the many blessings the Lord has provided in the midst of our circumstances; a thankful heart seldom grumbles.

The psalmist said it so well, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

By Trish Donohue

Do you ever wonder how other Christians embark on their Bible reading each morning?  Do they have special tricks?  Are their Bibles magically highlighting amazing truths which jump off the pages at them?  Do they spring nimbly from their beds in anticipation?  Does soft music begin to play as they crack open the well-worn pages?

Just for the record, I don’t have any tricks.  But I know what John Piper does.  (I recently needed some inspiration for my quiet times and perused his website.)  Every morning before he looks into God’s Word he prays the words of Psalm 119:18 which say, “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.”

It’s not a gimmick or a trick; it’s just echoing the psalmist’s inspired prayer and asking for divine help.  And I’ve started to do it myself.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Why?  Because like Dr. Piper, I find that my spiritual eyes are shut in the morning.  They don’t see wonderful things in God’s law by themselves.  They see interesting stories or familiar passages or lots of tiny letters that morph into a cloud of sleepiness.  They see a legalistic checkmark on the “quiet time” slot or a grocery list or a catalog of worries that are elbowing their way into my time in the Word.  I need God to miraculously touch me if I’m going to see through my sleepy spiritual eyes.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

And He does.  It’s really amazing the way God answers our prayers, and ridiculous that we don’t pray more.  In the short time since I’ve begun my quiet times with this prayer, not as a mantra but as a heartfelt request, God has spoken to me clearly through his Word, pretty much every time.

I still don’t spring out of bed, I kind of roll out in a coma-like state.  But heavy eyelids are no match for the power of God, and I reach with faith for that big leather book.  There are words of wonder in there, and God’s going to show them to me!

By Gina Flood

 

I love preparing for the Christmas season.  I love watching the same movies with family every year, pouring over cookbooks to glean ideas for tasty treats to share, decorating the house with homey yuletide comfort, driving the neighborhoods gazing at Christmas lights with yummy mugs of hot chocolate, visiting a live nativity, and celebrating the birth of the Savior with family and friends.

 

I don’t usually think about the Christmas season as an opportunity to grow, more just to enjoy and then to survive.  But the Lord taught me a great lesson last year that I’m looking forward to practicing this year. 

 

As I was planning the annual Christmas cookie bake-a-thon last year, I thought I was wisely considering my current season of life – 4 young children, home school, pregnancy, busy schedule, and so on.  So…in my wisdom, I thought making 10 different types of cookies was conservative.  After all, my truly wonderful mother-in-law makes 27 different kinds at Christmas and I feel almost certain that the amazing women in this church are able to make at least 15 different cookies, home school their children, make all new decorations from home-grown ingredients, host 3 parties, keep their home sparkling clean, build a new shed, and potty train their child all at the same time and without sinning.  Hmmm…that’s my wisdom.

 

Now, my husband, who has carefully studied his wife for many years, wisely asked, “So, how many kinds of cookies you planning to make, hon?”  I replied full of self-glorifying false humility, “Only 10.”  Can you just hear my wonderfully humble tone?  Oh, yuck!  Well, the negotiations began.  Rob lovingly reminded me that I am in a “One-thing Season”.  Adding more than what God has called me to do, especially when it is for my glory, was not going to bless anyone with the love of Christ in that season and most likely was going to add tension to our home and my face.

 

When all was said and done, I was to make only one more cookie (I had already made 2 kinds) and I had a heart full of thanks for a godly husband who sees my limitations better than me and cares for me abundantly.

 

I am thankful for my One-thing Season.  I love being a wife, mother, homemaker, home school mom, and member of this incredible church!  I would not want anything else.  Yet I can so easily be swept into the cares of this world - comparing my productivity to others, and striving to make myself look wonderful.  I can “temporarily” set aside what God has asked me to do in favor of what I want to do.  I can easily be tempted to trade my God-given One-thing Season for a three ring circus for the sake of my own vainglory.

 

I am looking forward to revisiting my One-thing Seasonal frame of mind this year, remembering God’s kindness, mercy, and grace and allowing that to inform my choices for each day.  I am truly and joyfully thankful for this One-thing Season and my desire is to glorify God in it – every day.

 

May God give us the grace to embrace our One-thing Seasons with undivided hearts and unwavering confidence that we are exactly where our sweet Savior wants us to be.  To God be the glory.

By Ramona Doyle

I love encouragement. I’m sure you do, too. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t love encouragement. When I am specifically encouraged by a friend, I find my burdens lightened, my hope brightened, and my heart motivated in the area in which I’ve been encouraged. This is not surprising; Proverbs 25:11 tells us, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Encouraging words are like salve for our souls.

As much as I love to be encouraged, however, I find that I don’t regularly give what I delight to receive. My husband needs encouragement, too. He labors long hours to provide for our family, he carries the mantel of leading our family, and he cares for our hearts and souls. He bears much responsibility and wears so many hats…husband, daddy, co-worker, friend, fellow-servant, wiper of tears, and fixer of everything broken.

The Lord calls us to excel in this wonderful task, and so be used by him as he accomplishes his ongoing Gospel work in our lives: “For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11) So let us encourage!

Here are some suggestions…

~   Abide in the Lord and daily drink deeply of His love:  I find that when I have basked in the Lord’s ever-faithful, extravagant love, my heart becomes full and expressing loving encouragements to my husband flows much more naturally. I am also less likely to try to draw from him what only the Lord can supply.

~   Pray for your husband:  Lift his burdens before the Lord. If you don’t know his burdens…draw him out. You will be surprised at how simply doing so will encourage him and knit your hearts together. Add prayer to that, and you’ve lifted his needs into very capable hands.

~   Thank the Lord for your husband:  Think of the ways your husband serves you and your family…of the ways he is a blessing in your life. Be specific. Thankful hearts easily encourage and seldom grumble and complain. Don’t forget to let him know specific ways that you are thankful for him.

~   Purpose each day to point out where you see the Lord at work in his life.  Ask the Lord to give you eyes to see even the little things. God is at work; encouraging this in specific ways will lift your husband’s soul.

~   Point your husband to the Lord:  When he is discouraged, encourage his heart with promises from Scripture. God’s Word is powerful and the Lord delights to work through it.

Let’s make encouraging our husbands a daily habit… the Lord is glorified, his work in our husbands, our lives, and our marriages is furthered, and we reap the fruit of deepening trust, joy, and passion in our relationships.

By Gina Flood

 

As much as I enjoy being a mother, without daily sustenance and supply from Christ, my children would dwell with a scowling, self-absorbed, selfish mommy whose main goals were immediate peace and ceaseless comfort using the chief means of convenience and behavior modification to reach those goals. How merciful is our God, that He does not deal with us in such ways!

 

His lovingkindness is everlasting! He is longsuffering! He is abundantly more interested in changing our hearts than He is in changing our behavior. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” [emphasis added] Whatever has residency in my heart determines what springs forth.

 

As God continues to conform and transform my heart, He seem to have revealed five areas for mothers to concentrate on. 

 

1. The Heart of a Mother Loves Jesus Christ

 

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:8-9)

 

In the midst of the hectic busyness of a mother’s life, we are reminded that we are to be filled with “inexpressible and glorious joy.” Why? Because we are “receiving the goal of [my] faith, the salvation of [my] soul.” Our every day is to be characterized by joy in Him!

 

Are we grumbling, annoyed, frustrated, harried? If we are, it’s because we’re not focused on loving the One who saved us. Most likely, we’re focused on ourselves. How much easier, by the grace of God, it is to be filled with glorious joy inexpressible when I am dwelling on what I am already receiving – the goal of my faith – salvation!

 

2. The Heart of a Mother Loves Her Husband

 

Does your heart leap when your husband enters the room? Again, in the business of daily life, I can easily forget to focus my heart’s full attention on my blessed gift – my husband. I happily greet him with a pleasant salutation, hug and kiss because I am, indeed, very glad to see him…but that’s not a leap. I wanted a leaping heart, so I went to my Father for wisdom.

 

His answer came from His Word in Ephesians 5:33. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  I need to be dwelling on respecting the blessing God has given me in my husband and allow that gratitude to spill forth from my mouth in praise and thanksgiving for all to hear: my husband, my children, and others. And I must choose to be intentional in doing this daily.

 

These are just two of the five areas where we can be protected from mothering in our own strength, apart from the daily sustenance from Christ.  Tomorrow will bring the remaining three.  In the meantime, may we all be constantly aware that our call to motherhood comes from a loving God, whose power has been made available to us for the task.  He will never leave us nor forsake us…not even in motherhood.

By Christina Roth

This past September, Bill and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary.  It made me think of that amazing day when we were joined in our marriage covenant.  As the pastor spoke he held up a piece of rope.  “A rope with three strands is not easily broken,” he said pulling on the rope.  Those three strands, he told us, represent Bill, me and the Lord.  This wisdom we will carry with us as long as we live.

However, lately I needed to be reminded of our three strand marriage once again.  The Lord has graciously revealed a trend going on in my life.  I increasingly found myself making decisions on my own, without even speaking to Bill about it.  Recent examples include volunteering Bill to coach my daughter’s soccer team, scheduling various parties to attend, and inviting people over to our home.  When I make these decisions they all seem reasonable, even honoring to God.  The soccer team provides a great outreach opportunity, parties always provide wonderful fellowship with other women, and the Bible is very clear about the importance of hospitality…right?  Well, not so fast.  Each of those choices led into conflict with my husband and consequences that showed me these choices were in fact not as reasonable or God honoring as I thought.

In conversations with Bill I began to realize that I was acting as a single strand, weak and ready to break at any moment.  By not consulting Bill on these decisions, I was not considering him and the wonderful role he has as my husband, my leader, my protector.  I was acting alone, not accessing the wisdom and care that my husband often provides.  Even though we may have ended up doing the very same things that I planned, the process of making decisions alone deprived us an opportunity to seek the Lord together on important priorities in our lives.  As we resolved the conflict, Bill helped me see our three strand marriage vision, the same morning that my faithful Lord reminded me of it in His Word.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!  Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?  And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  (Ecc. 4:9-12)

By Ramona Doyle

Establishing a devotional habit…

If you are like me, it can sometimes feel like we live in Romans 7, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”  (Verses 19-20)  These verses provide all the more evidence that we need the Lord!  But, sadly, they can also describe the experience we have as we seek to set aside time to daily meet with him.

Though it can sometimes seem like our greatest daily challenge, establishing a fruitful devotional life is critical for the spiritual food and drink we need each day to live and walk in the hope of the Gospel.  You probably have many strategies that have helped you through the years …these are a few that have worked for me.

1.     Assume that God is for you: Don’t let condemnation over past failures keep you from meeting with him.  In Romans 8:1 Paul informs us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  He fulfilled God’s righteous law and now dwells within us that we might walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit, desiring the things of God.  And he promises help in our weakness (Romans 8:26)!

2.     Plan for success:  I find it helpful to develop habits that support my desire to have time with the Lord.  When I needed to supervise very young children, it worked better for me to get up before them in the morning—hence, an earlier bedtime at night.  In seasons of distraction, making a list of pressing needs before meeting with the Lord can help get them “off your mind” during your quiet time.  It also provides a wonderful list to guide your prayers to draw help from the Lord!

3.     Find a quiet place:  If everyone in your house has to walk through your chosen room on the way to the bathroom or kitchen, it’s probably not a great choice of locations.  Find a spot that will minimize interruptions and serve you as you seek to meet with the Lord…a basement room?  An unused guest room?

4.     Train your children to respect your time:  What a wonderful opportunity for your children to learn god-centered priorities as they see how important time with the Lord is to Mom.  Perhaps the children can practice piano, do their chores, or have a quiet play time while you steal away.  Explain the difference between an acceptable interruption and an unnecessary one and enlist their help to make your time successful!

5.     Have a plan B:  Life happens!  Days can be unpredictable.  If something interferes with your plans, try to grab the next available time…perhaps a nap time or during “daddy time” in the evening.  Even 10 minutes is better than no time at all!

Remember that the Lord is even more eager to meet with us than we with him.  We can count on his grace as we seek to establish a devotional habit!

By Ramona Doyle

Most of us would never think of baking a cake without a recipe. Nor would our husbands tackle a major building project without a blueprint. Yet we are often comfortable with a haphazard approach to the most important area of our lives—our daily walk with the Lord.  Without the right motivation and a plan in place, our devotional times can easily fall victim to the daily stuff of our lives...a busy day, a late night, an unexpected interruption.

Scripture tells us we are like jars of clay—frail and weak. Let’s face it, we are a needy bunch; but that is not a bad thing. God intentionally made us this way in order to show us our need of him (2 Corinthians 4:7). We simply don’t have what we need in ourselves to live in the hope of the gospel each day. We need grace daily. We need strength daily. We need the gospel daily. And that is why we need a daily quiet time.

I find that how I think about my daily devotions is an important factor in my faithfulness to them. When I think of my quiet time as something I need to “get done with,” it takes its place among the other items on my to-do list that need to be checked off. I may get to it, I may not. When I don’t, it can become like a monkey on my back…I know I should “do it” but my guilt can make it harder for me to make the time.  I find it more helpful to think of my daily devotions not as an end in themselves, but as a means to cultivate a vital relationship with my Savior—a tool that the Lord has provided to draw me closer to him. When I think about it this way, my devotions become the greatest privilege and biggest opportunity of my day. And it’s much easier to make time for something I view this way.

Think about what changes in daily communion with the Lord: We experience God’s power in our daily need and are transformed as we behold his glory. We see the Lord’s loving heart behind his commandments and find all we need for life and godliness. We experience freedom from the power of sin and learn to rest in Christ’s righteousness. We grow in affection for fellow Christians and passion for the church for which Christ died.

We grow in love for others and develop a heart for the lost. We cultivate humility and obedience borne of love. We are liberated form self-love as our sin is exposed and dealt with. We gain perspective in trials and grow in prayer. We learn to walk in the good works God has prepared and to daily die to ourselves. We experience genuine hope and true joy. We grow in gratefulness and yearn for His glory.

Our focus shifts from God’s gifts to the Giver of those gifts. And we become bold for the sake of the gospel. This is a win-win proposition.

God has promised to draw near to us as we draw near to him (James 4:8), so let’s make time to meet with him.  Next week, I’ll offer some practical steps to get a devotional time up and running.  

 

By Ramona Doyle

I heard a humorous story recently that went something like this… …A prominent southern family hired a biographer to research and record their family history for posterity.  In the course of his investigations, the biographer went back to the family and expressed hesitancy to complete the work.  He had uncovered a “skeleton” in the family tree and feared the family would not want it exposed.  After sharing his findings, he was told to go ahead and complete the biographical piece.  He was given specific instruction regarding the distant relative who had scandalously embezzled funds from his firm, cheated on his income tax, and murdered someone to cover his deeds, ultimately resulting in a lengthy imprisonment and execution by electric chair.  The writer was asked to use his gift for weaving words so that the work could be completed without tarnishing the family record.  When it came to the relative’s byline in the book, the biographer wrote, “…he held the seat of applied electronics at the county’s most prominent institution.  He was bound to the position with the firmest of bonds and his death came as a great shock.” J

Words. They are very important.  It is easy to laugh at the discrepancy between truth and tale in the above story, but how often do we do the same thing??  Our words are powerful, telling, and never neutral.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:34, “…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  What we say is an indicator of what is going on in our hearts.

 

I’m guilty!  My sentences have exposed my heart and I’ve been sentenced by my words so many times.  I can be tempted to craft words to minimize impulsive spending at the grocery store or mall.  I can be tempted to retell a story to make myself look better than what really happened.  Or I can be tempted to call attention to my accomplishments in conversation.  And these words reveal pride, fear of man, and self righteousness in my heart.  And when words don’t reflect reality, Scripture calls them a lie.  Ouch!

 

Words like these reflect a selfish orientation rather than a Godward orientation in our hearts. But thankfully, the Lord does not leave us without instruction with regard to our words.  We can grow in honoring him in this area by being diligent to abide in the Lord that we might bear good fruit (John 15), slow to speak (James 1:19), careful to weigh our words (Proverbs 10:19), and quick to confess our sin (1 John 1:9).  And we can rest in the assurance that he gives grace to the humble as we seek to please him (James 4:6).  May our prayers and hearts mirror those of the psalmist who writes, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”  (Psalm 19:14)

By Ramona Doyle

What!  Forget one of our children?  Never!  

Well, maybe not…  All my children are different.  Some have required more input, discipline, correction, and time than others.  I’m thinking of the one of whom my husband and I would often joke, “If we can just keep him alive until he’s five…!”  But we’ve learned from experience that there can be some inherent problems when you have a challenging child in your home.  This child gets a lot of attention.  He hears the Gospel in the course of parenting many times a day.  He has lots of “heart talks” with Mom and Dad.  And Mom and Dad wear out the knees of their pants in prayer lifting him before the throne of grace for mercy and grace in time of need.  And the need is frequent!

Then there is the obedient child…the one who is usually in the right place at the right time.  This one is typically respectful, he doesn’t often make waves with his siblings, and you can tell he usually tries to do the right thing.  When we look back, we’ve realized how easy it is to “forget” the obedient child.  It’s easy to make assumptions about what is going on in his heart and not invest the same time and prayer into parenting him.  So he doesn’t get as much attention or have the frequent heart talks with Mom and Dad, and he doesn’t hear the Gospel in the course of parenting many times a day.  But though he doesn’t require the frequent correction of his sibling, he is every much in need of the Gospel as his counterpart.  Down the road the obedient child could easily drift for lack of Gospel restraint in his heart.

As we have labored to better parent our growing family and trusted the Lord to “work all things for our good” (Romans 8:28) in the midst of our parenting mistakes and weaknesses, we’ve sought to do implement parenting strategies that direct our focus to all of our children’s hearts.  We’ve learned to not make assumptions based on the outward behavior of our children and to regularly evaluate our parenting goals for each one.  We try to pray daily for each child, asking the Lord to protect them, guard their hearts, and continue his perfect work in each one.  My husband uses our family devotions each day not only as an opportunity to meet the Lord together, but also to draw out our children and listen to their responses to his questions.  And we seek opportunities for one-on-one time with each child, allowing opportunity to build strong relationships and specifically invest in each one.

And if you have a forgotten child, take heart.  The Lord is actively working in his life and never forgets: “Can a woman forget her nursing child … Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.  Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.  Isaiah 49:15-16 

By Gina Flood

 

I was in a doctor’s examining room recently and was skimming the magazine covers on the display rack while I waited for the doc. My gaze stopped on one title in particular – ”Reinvent Yourself at 40.” I noticed there was a lovely looking model sporting her reinvented self (I am assuming she was over 40; she was on the cover, it must be true). Now, I am approaching 40 and that’s okay, but it hadn’t really crossed my mind that I should be working on my self-reinvention. So I began to roll that one around in my head.

 

I recalled the days before I received Christ, The Inventor of my self. Each day was a new day to reinvent myself. I wrote endless lists and journal entries reflecting on what I thought was lacking in my character and my life and how I could achieve my goal of being the woman I thought I ought to be. Reinventing myself was a mission.

 

In the years following my conversion, Christ, The Inventor of my self, had drawn me out of the pit of destruction and the mire and placed my feet on a rock. He had put a new song in my mouth and I was so thankful. (Psalm 40:2-3) However, I was looking, ever looking, at the godly women around me, writing endless lists and journal entries about the wonderful, godly qualities these women possessed and what I should do to become like them. I was still reinventing myself, but now it was my ministry.

 

Then I thought about my life now. My life has gotten busier over the years. I don’t have as much time for lists and journal entries as I used to. But my life has gotten simpler, too. I love my God ordained calling as a Christian, wife, and mother. I love our church. I love my life. That has brought much focus to the lists and entries I take the time to write.

 

I realized, that by God’s amazing, wonderful, scandalous, unmerited grace, I am invented – by The Inventor! Through the life-changing power of His Word and the Holy Spirit, I am being reinvented into His image; I am a new creation. He has already prepared good works for me to do (Eph 2:10) and it is my Father in Heaven who works in me, to accomplish those works for His good pleasure. (Phil 2:13)

 

Have I arrived? By no means! Am I completed? Not until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil 1:6) I lack terribly in so many areas and I am thankful God has provided so many rich and wonderful examples in the saints.

 

But, I rejoice. I rejoice, because the Creator of the Universe, The Inventor of all things, invented me. There is nothing for me to reinvent, thank you Jesus. He has already invented and created and fashioned who I am. I press on because Christ has made me His own. (Phil 3:12) As I approach 40, I am thankful, I am refreshed, and I am overjoyed. Because now…now…instead of reinventing myself (in my own feeble strength and finite wisdom) into something I think I ought to be, my God, the Lover of my soul, is revealing who He has already made me to be.

 

May we all, as we humble ourselves before the throne of grace, walk in the good works he as prepared for us to do. May we rejoice in who He has made us to be already. May we press on toward holiness in faith and confidence that God knew what He was doing when He made us the way He made us. And may we stand amazed.

By Trish Donohue

 

We were at the shore for our last hurrah of the summer and decided to be adventurous and take a bike ride to the beach.  This may sound rather humdrum for the experienced cyclists among us, but for the Donohue Clan, this was a serious feat.  And if the cameras had been rolling this is what they would have seen.

 

Jim (borrowing a relative’s bike) had a stack of beach chairs bungeed to his handlebars which made him ride like a chimpanzee.  Next came Adam, who was balancing a boogie board twice his size and wobbling down the road taking out pedestrians on both sides while I yelled (in vain) from the back that that they had the right of way.  Asher and Bryn followed, trying to dodge flying shrapnel from the bikes in front while Shannon, our youngest, in her massive butterfly helmet, got stuck at every curb. 

 

Then there was me, who hadn’t been on a bike in an unmentionable number of years.  I initially had the sand shovels in my lovely bike basket, but three seconds into the ride, one fell out and flew between my bike spokes, which would have catapulted me into the air like a sunburned Evel Knieval except for the fact that I was going less than one mile an hour.  But I was jarred, and that qualifies as a serious athletic injury in my book.

 

Our actual ride was a crazy combination of dropping things, falling, walking across streets, talking to drivers who waited for us to walk across streets, screaming, and laughing very hard in a near-death sort of way.  

 

What does that have to do with anything blog-worthy?  Well, first, it’s a good story, and second, it’s a picture of how we moms can feel in our parenting.

 

1. We’re off on a new adventure (a new challenge, a new season of parenting, a new school year.)
2. We realize as we’re planning that our children are at so many different levels and have so many different needs.  Some are ahead and almost out of sight, some are falling behind, and none of them seem to hear the advice we’re calling to them.
3. We’re ill-equipped.  We’re supposed to be helping lead this troop, and we’re just learning ourselves!  We’re wobbling around in the back while they’re whizzing on ahead.  How do we catch up?
4. We’ve got baggage.  There are so many things and events to juggle and carry that we’re afraid we’ll get off course, or wreck, maybe even taking someone else out while we’re at it.
5. We’re temped to think, ‘maybe we should bag this’.  We thought the Lord had called us to it, but maybe there’s an easy way out, preferably without the risks. 

 

Here’s the truth:  God knows our limitations, and knows the job He’s called us to.  He knows each one of our children and the speed that they ride.  He knows their desires, their abilities, and their downfalls.  And He’s picked us, in our wobbly weakness, to guide them through the traffic of life.  But God is the one who keeps them.  And we can launch into God’s will for us in full assurance that He will get us where we need to go, safely, and in his time.

 

We almost took the van.  Nobody really wanted to, and we knew we’d sacrifice a memory, but we almost wimped out.  I’m so glad we didn’t.

By Ramona Doyle

 

I walk regularly for exercise.  On a recent vacation when I realized that I had forgotten my walking shoes, I used a pair of ‘trekking sandals’ in their place.  The open sides even seemed to add an advantage: when a tiny pebble became lodged in one of the heels during a walk, I assumed it would work itself free and ignored it.  I learned a huge lesson that day…one small pebble can cause one huge blister!

 

Sadly, this lesson had an all too familiar feel to it…you see, small pebbles are not the only things that can cause big problems.  I had a season of not being able to sleep.  It started when my husband got a sinus infection that left him with a tendency to snore, waking me up several times throughout the night.  Occasionally, I had difficulty getting back to sleep.  Then I started laying awake worrying about whether I would get enough sleep on a given night.  With less sleep, my daytime activities seemed harder.  Then, as I contemplated my age and remembered the difficulty my mother experienced with sleep in the latter season of her life, I started wondering if this was to be course of my remaining years.  Translation: fretting led to fear, which led to anxiety, which yielded the fruit of discouragement and robbed me of my joy.  And my discouragement subtly seeped into other areas of my life.

 

I had allowed a small situation to grow out of proportion by not taking immediate steps to appropriate grace and ask the Lord for help.  We can do this in so many ways: a small worry becomes a big fear; a little sin becomes a huge stumbling block; a tiny concern becomes an overwhelming anxiety.  A few small steps away from grace and before we know it we can functionally live as if we have no hope.  We can forget to stand on the priceless truths of Scripture that remind us that the Lord hears the prayer of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) and is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1), then in self-sufficiency seek to overcome our own problems or sin.  The Lord is willing and available, but our own strength is woefully inadequate!  It’s like crawling through a desert on our hands and knees gasping for water while failing to notice we are crawling around the edge of an oasis!  I praise God for his abundant grace that woke me up (pun intended!) to see his provision in the midst of my need.  I found peace as I prayed, meditated on His word, and asked others for prayer and counsel.  And the Lord later healed my husband’s snoring problem!  Psalm 25:10 says, “All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness...”  May this motivate us to take quick steps to appropriate His abundant grace for every need.

By Trish Donohue

On our most recent date night, Jim and I found ourselves in the middle of a great conversation in the Acme parking lot of all places. It was raining and the drops on the windshield were reflecting and shimmering on everything in the car including us; it was a perfect movie scene, although instead of a tearful break-up or a spontaneous declaration of love, we were talking about gratitude—very un-Hollywood.

Jim was showing me how I can often enter situations looking at what needs to change instead of first seeing God’s grace and thanking Him for it. His observations were welcome ones since this is an area I want to grow in, and I have benefitted immeasurably from his help.

In my puny attempts to change, I’m happy to inform all you fellow ingrates that God has been extremely patient and hasn’t given up on me. There’s hope for us! As wives and moms, our countless menial tasks provide us countless opportunities to glorify God through gratitude. Here’s one thing I’ve been realizing as I’ve pondered the practical implications of gratitude.

We women often complain about situations that we actually love.

Sounds illogical, I know, but let me give you some examples from my own life:

• My daughter happened to get very sick the one night that Jim was away recently. I was up with her all night—I think I might have gone to sleep at 5:30 a.m. 

The temptation in that moment is self-pity, and yet the truth is that I love being a mom. I love my daughter and that I am the one who can comfort her. I love that Jim enjoys his job and gets to travel and that I can support him in that. If someone would offer to take this responsibility away from me, and thus the long night, I’d refuse in a second. The truth is that I’m tempted to complain about the situation…even though I love it.

• I’m walking past my sons’ room and the floor is once again littered with stuff. Didn’t I ask them to at least keep the floor picked up?

The truth in this situation is that I love having boys. They are a gift—a messy, dirty one sometimes, but a gift. These bug collections and dirty camo shorts and Lego guys represent the joys of their lives. Would I get rid of this "problem" if I could? Would I exchange them for a quieter, messless variety? Never.

So many of the minor irritations in our lives fall into this category—part and parcel of a job we wouldn’t trade for the world. Today as we feel our "last nerve" begin to tingle, let’s see if we can look past it to the broader gift of God, and praise Him for it…in gratitude.

By Ramona Doyle

While leafing through pictures recently for a calendar we were having made, I came across a favorite of our family standing at the rim of the Grand Canyon.  Though a couple years have passed, I’ll never forget what it felt like to stand that close to the edge while a friendly passer-by recorded the memory with our camera.  I was dizzy, my knees were weak, and we were in awe of the grandeur.  Everything about that place was bigger than us.

Even though an experience like this can evoke a sudden and dramatic sense of how small we are in the scheme of things, if you think about it, we don’t need to live very long to realize that most of our life is bigger than us, as well.  If you, like me are seeing the end of summer coming and a new school year starting, you know how big the start of the school year can feel.  And this can be a recipe for worry and discouragement.  

But there is good news!  You see, we are small, and we are weak, but that is not a bad thing.  In fact, God made us this way in order to point us to Himself—to highlight and magnify His sufficiency, provision, and strength!  2 Corinthians 4:7 tells us, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” Our loving Heavenly Father who knows the ‘big stuff’ we are facing and “little stuff” we are made of; yet He meets us in the midst with His mercy and grace.  We can cast ourselves on the One who is sufficient and draw from his abundant storehouse. 

What a privilege!  How our lives would be different if we truly lived this way…  In our sin, confessing to the One who is faithful to forgive and cleanse (1 John 1:9); when enticed by temptations, going with boldness to the throne of grace to find mercy and help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16); when struggling with doubt, calling upon the One whose plans are for our welfare to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11); in our weakness, casting ourselves upon the One who daily renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31); in our trials, drawing from the One whose mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23); in our uncertainties, seeking the One who has already recorded each and every one of our days (Psalm 139:16) and has promised to keep our going out and coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:5)!

What a BIG, magnificent God we serve!

By Trish Donohue

Can you imagine being a vacation? Not going on one, but being one? A vacation’s job description is enormous and it all has to be accomplished in seven days, without fail. Here is what I usually want my vacation to do for me.

• Make me happier than I’ve been all year.
• Provide a round-the-clock atmosphere of relaxation even with a bunch of kids all living out of messy suitcases and ingesting vast amounts of sugar.
• Refresh my heart, soul, mind, and body so that when I come back home I will face my normal life with the music of a waterfall playing in my brain.
• Create family memories full of laughter and hugs and Kodak moments, ensuring that I look fabulous on all the pictures.
• Provide a tan with no sunburn, a feast with no weight gain, and self-indulgence with no sin.

Although I adore vacations and have files of precious memories from them, I’ve taken enough of them to recognize they can’t possibly live up to the tasks I’ve given them to accomplish. I’ve selfishly struggled that, while in utopia, I still have to do many of the jobs I do at home—feeding the hungry tribe, laundering the sandy clothes, and guiding the tempted hearts, beginning with my own. I’ve fought with the ever shrinking time left before returning home to the full inbox and empty refrigerator. I’ve grappled with a vacation’s sheer inability to produce the lasting tranquility I’m looking for.

Have you been there?

Here’s my conclusion. (You may have figured this out by now, but bear with me, I’m slower.) There are two ways to take a vacation. The first, my default, is to load it up with all the expectations I listed above, which should allow me to do the only thing left – relax. My job is to relax – not think about what God wants to do with my time, or the needs of others, or disciplines of any kind. This self-centered approach will pretty much 100% of the time dump me back into my regular life feeling deflated and worldly. And I blame my vacation for not doing its job.

The second is to enjoy a vacation as a gift from God, seeing his hand in all the beauties and blessings, and the opportunities to serve as well. In this situation, I’m not trying to escape from life, but to invest in the life and family God has given me. It’s not all about my own immediate pleasure, but the pleasure of living in God’s will. Instead of seeking the elusive cloud of “relaxation” (bring me a magazine quick!) I can rest in the goodness and sovereignty of God and enjoy what He’s provided without trying to make it something it can never be.

Can you guess which one brings more joy in the end?

Our vacations can do a lot for us. What can we do for them?

By Trish Donohue

At the beach recently, some girlfriends and I were meandering among the shops.  In one particular shop, a friend was trying on some beachy tops and a couple sundresses.  They were stylish and fun, but I knew they were a bit too revealing for me to try.  Yet, a quick thought of resentment rushed to my mind, “I could pull that off and look good but of course I can’t.”  There it was, an ugly mix of my own selfishness, vanity, and worldliness in one quick moment. Teenage girls aren’t the only ones in the battle…moms with minivans fight, too.

God helped me remember the rightness and wisdom of his decrees about modesty…and gratitude for his plan followed.  But even as I write the word, modesty, I’m aware that I’d prefer a different word.  It’s a bit musty, after all—a bit prudish, outdated, even embarrassing.  I want to declare, I am relevant!  I’m not an old stodgy church lady in a housedress!  The only little problem is, modesty is God’s word. (1 Timothy 2:9) It’s God-breathed, from the lips of the divine Creator and Wardrobe Director. Oops.

So what will prevail: fear of man or fear of God?  Will I let the culture tell me to scoff at God’s perfect truth?  Or will I see modesty for the beautiful, wise plan God says it is?

On Sunday, July 19th, Jim had the opportunity to address the men after Jared’s excellent message. That’s when we were ushered into the very chatty lobby and during light conversation, glimpsed the mass of sober male faces through the auditorium’s glass doors.  What were they talking about in there? 

The topic was sexual purity, or lack thereof.  The percentage of Christian men who seriously struggle with impurity is staggering.  During that short time, many of our brothers were on their knees, crying out for power to change and for help in grave temptation.

Can we change the Vanity Fair that surrounds them?  Can we reform TV, movies, ads, newspapers, billboards, workplaces, even cereal boxes that present challenges?  Probably not.  But can we add our voice of support by obeying God and dressing in a way that prevents further temptation?  Yes.  Even if it means passing up an opportunity to impress someone?  By God’s grace, yes.

Listen girls, it’s easy to downplay our role in this important battle. However, greater effort and attention from all of us in this area will not only honor God, but may bring a respite to some of the weary saints. 

So goodbye breezy sundress.  I’ll find you in a better style.  And hopefully a better sale.   

By Deb Demi

Do you know the verse about hiding God’s word in your heart?  (Ps. 119:11)  The problem that I have is once I hide it, I can’t always find it.

Maybe it’s because I’m over 40 or maybe it’s because I have 7 kids (4 of whom are teenagers), but I have a hard time remembering things - specifically scripture.  I can still recall bible verses that I learned when I was in grade school and even ones that I learned in college.  Back then, scripture seemed to stick in my head.  Now, however, I’m lucky to remember a verse that I memorized last month. 

Maybe you’ve experienced this too.  You spend time memorizing a passage of scripture only to be unable to recall five words of it two weeks later.  Maybe you don’t even try to memorize scripture, because it’s just too difficult.  Before giving up on the idea of memorizing portions of scripture, let me encourage you!

This past year, I have memorized Romans 12, Romans 5, 2 Peter 1, and I just finished committing Romans 8 to memory word for word.  I’m not telling you this to pat myself on the back.  Each of those passages took me at least a month to learn.  I’m not a great memorizer.  And, when I just tried to recall Romans 12 – I only could remember two verses (the ones I learned in college).  So, you may be asking, why bother memorizing at all if in less than a year – you can’t remember anything?

Here’s an example of why I will continue to hide God’s word in my heart:   For the past three months (!)  I’ve been memorizing Romans 8.  Every day while I dry my hair, I say the verses aloud from the beginning of the chapter (several times), and try to add a new one.  Then, when I’m driving in my car or lying in bed at night or taking a shower or when I first get up in the morning, I meditate on the chapter as far as I know it.  For the past three months, I’ve been immersed in the gospel promises laid out for us in Romans 8.  Through memorizing and replaying, I did what I rarely have time to do in my quiet times – I meditated on and practically applied these amazing verses on a daily basis.

Though I can’t recall much of what I memorized earlier in the year, when a verse is needed, I know if it’s located in one of “my” 4 chapters.  And, I know that it’s still hidden in my heart somewhere, because when I try to relearn portions of one of the chapters, it comes back almost instantly.

So what are you waiting for?  Find a passage to memorize.  Don’t bemoan the fact that you may not retain it forever; revel in the fact that as do the work of memorizing, your soul is being fed.  Even if you can’t find it next month, you can be confident that God’s word is hidden somewhere in your heart!

“The Word is forgotten but they are still doing their work secretly and the spirit feeds on them and grows strong.”  Françoise Fenelon

By Traci Healey

Pastor’s note:  Traci wrote this in early March.  As we post she is joyfully expecting the imminent arrival of the baby she talks about below.

Sometimes I get afraid people will think I’m silly for getting pregnant soon after getting married (a little over 3 months).  Mostly because I would have thought it was silly.  When we were engaged, I asked Rick to give me at least 6 months before we started trying to have kids.  It could have been longer, but hey, I’m getting old.

But one day I read this and God spoke to me.

Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Reading this, God showed me my heart and its fears and then He showed me the promises of His Word.  I was convicted of two things.

The first was being afraid of what people (my family and close friends) would think of me.  What would they say about me?  Would they think I was crazy for not wanting more time alone with Rick?  Would they think I was missing out on the newlywed years?  Maybe.  Does it matter?  No.  Because the promise of this verse is that children are from the Lord…a reward…they bring blessing to their parents…there is no downside to kids in God’s economy.

The second is that I was afraid of the future.  What if we couldn’t provide for our kids?  What if we couldn’t buy a house?  What if all the money I wanted to spend at Anthropologie suddenly went to diapers?  Well, the first part of this psalm spoke to my anxieties: “…he gives to his beloved sleep.”  The anxious don’t sleep well, but God’s beloved do.  He cares for them, builds their house and watches over them.  Now that is a promise.

So God spoke to me.  He eased my fears.  And then I very clearly knew what repentance and obedience looked like.  I was to trust Him in all things and have kids.  And now that I’m pregnant?  I know that this is what God called me to do from the beginning…and that gives me great joy.  Even if it means a change in some of my shopping.

Blogger’s Note: I understand that there are perfectly good reasons to wait to have kids.  And I’m not saying my story is the best one to follow.  But it’s a good reminder that God is the one who sets our priorities.

By Deb Demi

Are you looking to deepen your friendships, experience more biblical fellowship and at the same time be encouraged in your walk with the Lord?  I have found that all of these things and more can happen through praying together with other women.  Here are two specific ways of praying together that have blessed me.

A Weekly Prayer Group: The first way is by being involved in a weekly prayer group.  A little over two years ago, I began to feel a desire to pray regularly with some other women for our husbands and children. After sharing this with one of my friends, she too thought that it was a good idea.  We sent out some e-mails, found a home to meet in, and set a day and time.  So for over 2 years now, a group of about 5 – 10 women (16 of us in all) have been meeting at Lolly DiMaio’s house every Friday morning from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.  We try to start the meeting promptly after grabbing a cup of coffee, of course. 

Instead of sharing prayer requests, we jump right in by praying our requests.  Once a request is prayed, usually others join in by continuing to pray for that request.  We try to keep our prayers short and allow them to bounce around like popcorn.  Often someone will have a prophetic word or Scripture to share, there are usually tears, and we always leave deeply encouraged as we lift our needs up before our Heavenly Father recounting His faithfulness, His power in our weaknesses, and His goodness.  Even though some of us barely knew each other two years ago, through prayer, we have formed very special bonds.

Extended Prayer Times:  Not only is a weekly prayer meeting a good tool in building friendships, extended prayer times can strengthen our relationships in our community groups.  The first time that I mentioned to our CG women, that we were going to try to pray together for an hour, they looked at me a little skeptically.  If praying together for an hour seems daunting to you, try the following:  Come up with six categories such as praise and thanksgiving, confession of sin, husbands, children, church/leaders, and the lost.  Pray aloud according to the subject bouncing back and forth in no particular order. When 10 minutes pass, someone can move you on to the next category.  Before we knew it, we prayed for over an hour.  We learned about each other’s burdens, we cried together, and we confessed our sins before one another.  And, after praying our requests and burdens of our hearts, the context for our conversation flowed into deep and meaningful biblical fellowship.

How about you?  Who is it that the Lord is calling you to pray with?  Not only is prayer an effective means through the Gospel to bring your requests before the throne of God, it is a tool that the Lord will use to deepen your relationships and encourage your soul.

By Deb Demi

Sometimes my life can feel like a roller coaster ride.  I find myself going up and down emotionally depending on my circumstances.  When things are going well, I'm happy and at peace.  When difficult circumstances enter the picture, I get depressed, discouraged and joyless. 

One day when I was feeling particularly down, the line of the hymn "The Solid Rock" came springing into my head  "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteous."  It was like the Holy Spirit turned a light bulb on in my mind.  No wonder I go up and down so much; my hope is so often built on my circumstances, not on Jesus' blood and His righteousness (the Gospel)!

For example, one desire that I have is that my kids would respond in a godly manner.  It's a good desire.  However, I know that my hope is built on that desire rather than on Christ when I get discouraged or fearful when they are not living up to my expectations.  On the other hand when my kids are doing well, I can be elated and even prideful because what I've hoped for happened.  In either case, my hope may be built on my circumstances rather than Christ.

It's one thing to know that your hope should be built on Christ alone, but actually transferring your hope from your circumstances to Christ is the challenge.  How do I hope in Christ, rather than in the outcome of my expectations?

For me to hope in Christ means that I have to look past my circumstances, almost as if they were transparent, and ground myself on what I know about God.  Sure, my circumstances may not look good, but I know that my God is faithful, sovereign, all-powerful and because of the Gospel I know that through Christ, God loves me more than I can imagine and will cause all things to work out for my good that He has a purpose for each circumstance that He's allowed in my life that He is actively at working accomplishing His perfect will even when things look dark, and that He answers prayer.  The truth about God from the Word of God has to become more real and tangible to me than even the circumstances that I'm walking through.

Our circumstances will constantly change and our expectations will sometimes be unmet.  But when our hope is fully grounded on who God is (by reading and meditating on the Word) and the riches of the Gospel, our emotions don't have to roller coaster up and down.  On Christ, the solid rock, we will stand!  For we know that all other ground is sinking sand.

 "Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."  1 Peter 1:1

Pastor’s note:  I thought Deb’s insight on seeing our circumstances almost as if they were transparent was especially rich.  Eyes of faith see through circumstances to the loving and wise God behind them.  And he is always there.  

By Kathy Breslin

I used to wonder how singleness could be considered a gift.  I’d heard all the typical responses to that question: “it allows you to serve God,” “you’re time isn’t divided and you can focus on Him,” “think of all the wonderful ways you can help the church,” etc…  I’d heard them all and in my heart I couldn’t help but think “is that really a gift?”  But as I’ve lived my life as a part of this church, my response started to change. 

Change doesn’t happen over night and this was no different.  There was no one thing that I did or heard that caused my change in perception about my singleness to happen; but rather God’s faithfulness in my life.  As I started to serve more, in my Community Group, in Alpha, babysitting for some of the families at church, reaching out to friends who don’t know the Lord, and so on, I was seeing God move in His people and my attention moved away from my own desires and focused on Him and His grace in my life.

God promises us in Psalm 37 that if we delight in Him he will give us the desires of our heart.  What strikes me about this verse isn’t that he’ll give me the desires of my heart but that this is a promise from the One who formed me and has the power to shape me and change me.  While my desires to have a family one day have not changed, my desires to see God’s name be great have grown.  One day this may be through a family but I am excited with what He is doing through me today.
 

In this season the Lord has also given me a clearer idea of what the gift of marriage is all about.  My view of marriage was that it was very much about me and my dreams, needs, and wants, rather than about the Lord.  As some of my closest friends were getting married I started thinking more about marriage and the sacrifices my friends were making to care for their spouse, family, and home.  The more I thought about this the more I realized that the sacrifices I was making to serve the Lord and the church were minor in comparison to those my newly married friends were making in their own lives.  Don’t get me wrong, my friends speak of the many blessings that come in marriage.  But I now have a sober appreciation for the need for grace to be married, not just to be single.  

 

This also made me freshly grateful for my parents and the sacrifices they’ve made for me and my sister.  They laid down their own desires and wants to be there for us even to this day.  I might never know the full extent of the sacrifices that have been made on my behalf but I know I am grateful for them and for whom they’ve allowed me to be as a woman.  

By writing this, I don’t mean to imply that I’ve arrived or that it’s never hard being a single Christian woman.  But God’s faithfulness to me is greater than my circumstances and he has graciously placed me in a church that encourages me and challenges me to continue to fight the good fight.  And while it’s tempting to list my phone number at the bottom of this page, just in case my future husband is reading, I will refrain and trust the Sovereign One who has provided me with more than I can ask or imagine.

Ramona Doyle

 

When I read Trish Donohue’s outstanding blog last week on how to be a younger woman, my immediate thought was, “What timely and helpful advice!  I wish someone had shared these thoughts to me when I was young…”  But it got me thinking about the other side of the equation – the ‘older woman’.  In order to write these thoughts, I first had to admit to myself that I am an older woman (well, at least a little olderJ).  I know I’ve already lost many of you with this title, but if you look past culture to the biblical picture of an older woman, she possesses much to be desired!  So here goes…

 

To those of us who are a little further along in years, Trish made a good point that I’ll state in reverse.  We are called to be younger women as well as older women!  I find it helpful to remember that though I have hopefully learned some things along the way and grown in wisdom by the grace of God, I am still a work in process.  I need help every bit as my younger sisters.  There are also those women who are a step ahead of me in years or life situation that I can seek out to draw from the storehouse of God’s wisdom and grace in their lives. 

 

So how can I be an effective older woman?

 

1.     Be observant.  Remember that though older than some, there are those older than me.  Take note of who is walking ahead of you.  There are many women around us who have hit those important milestones ahead of us…the marriage of a child, grandchildren, change of life, empty nest, to name a few.  They have cared for their families and managed their homes in the midst.  Who has excelled in these things…seek them out and ask specific questions!  

 

Blog Czar Andy here…  I thought this was a great point which stirred a couple of thoughts, so I’m breaking into Ramona’s blog with them. First, if you are raising teens and tweens there are some younger women who may better know what temptations and cultural enticements your girls may face than you.  It might be wise of you to find out what young women in this culture face and not trust in your own experience when you were that age.  Second, there are also some chronologically younger women who have gone through things you may yet face – debilitating illness, the death of a parent or even a spouse.  These women have much to offer, but often feel unable to identify with women who haven’t walked where they have walked.  Sweet, mutual ministry awaits those whose eyes are open to these opportunities.

 

2.     Look at whom the Lord has placed in your life.  If you are an older woman, there are younger women who need you!  With whom do you rub shoulders in the everyday activities of your life …perhaps in a ministry, through contact with your own grown children, in your community group, or around the church?  Start to pray for these younger women.  Encourage them as the Lord gives opportunity.  Perhaps the Lord will open a door to a deeper relationship.

 

3.     Be available.  I find it all too easy to fill every available moment with activity.  I may be doing good things, but if it is at the expense of fellowship and being available to the people the Lord has placed in my life, I may be missing some big opportunities.

 

What a delightful pattern the Lord has set forth in his word to ensure that we continue to grow in our love for Him, our walk in His ways, and in our ability to care for those He has entrusted to us.  May we as women soak our hearts and minds in the rich storehouse of wisdom the Lord has made available from the lives of those who have gone before us – and come after us.

By Trish Donohue

 

Wow!  What a great title!  I have you all hooked, I know it.  You’re envisioning the long sought fountain of youth bubbling up and covering all those fine wrinkles and graying hairs.  I’m sure Clinique offers something like this for approximately $350, but physical youth is actually not today’s topic.  It’s how to be the younger woman described in the well-known Titus passage: Older women…are to so train the younger women…”

 

Okay, it’s true that these verses are directed toward the older woman; the one we are all hoping will arrive in our moment of need, shower us with life-changing wisdom, and clean our kitchen while she’s at it.  But here’s the deal—most  women who would be a benefit to us aren’t prophetic enough to discern the moment we need them, confident enough to assume we want to hear from them, or available enough to be waiting outside our door for the cry of despair.  SO!  Take out your note-pads ye seekers of wisdom.  Here are some tips on how to be a younger woman.

 

1.  Look around.  Sometimes we get “fridge disease.”  You know, you’re looking for the salsa in the fridge and its right in front of you.  These elusive older women are sometimes right in front of us in the lobby at church, sitting beside us in community group, or right behind us in worship.  Who has God placed in our lives that is a little further along?  Whose children are a few years older than ours?  Who excels in an area where we are weak?  Look around and pick out a woman you could learn from.

 

2.   Jot down some specific questions for her.  How does she maintain such purposefulness in her singleness?  How does she do meal planning for her family?  What is her daily schedule?  What do her quiet times look like?  It’s helpful to have some questions ready so you can drop into a conversation quickly.

 

3.  Initiate.  Invite her to lunch after church or to grab some coffee between services, or draw her out after community group.  These conversations don’t have to be formal; in fact, it’s sometimes better when they’re not!  God promises to give grace to the humble, and He will bless our efforts to learn from the women He’s given us.

 

How do I know this?  Because I need a lot of help, and a lot of wisdom!  I recently chatted with a woman whose children are a few years ahead of mine and her counsel was so helpful.  A few weeks later, I grabbed a couple of moms at a meeting and asked them if they had ever struggled with a particular sin I was seeing in my life.  Help is often a conversation away!  And because we’re all called to be “older women” as well as “younger women,” let’s drink in as much wisdom as we can so that we have something to pour out when a younger woman reads this blog and walks over to us!    

 

 

By Ramona Doyle

Technology: It’s invading just about every aspect of our culture and lives, and much of what I do depends on it. IPods, Email, cell phones, podcasts, blogs, and online shopping are all a part of my family’s daily life and vocabulary. But I am finding that without intentional regulation, this information explosion can easily lay waste to my schedule and take over many of my waking hours!

I have seen the need to build some helpful constraints into my schedule keep technology in its rightful and useful place. Scripture says, “We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) Technology can be a useful tool for accomplishing what God has called me to do, or it can distract me from his purposes. Here are guidelines I have found helpful for regulating my use of technology and some questions I frequently ask myself:

• Start with priorities. If I am a wife and mother, caring for my husband and family come first.

    * Question: Am I allowing the use of technology (checking email, blogs, and computer games) to interfere with the priorities God has given me?

• Set some limits. I try to limit when and how often I check email or blogs. If you must check email often because frequent communication is necessary for your family or ministry, try to stay focused on necessary communication and save less urgent items for a time that you can schedule.

    * Question: Am I mastering my email, or is it mastering me?

• Stop surfing. Try a blog-feed service that will combine new posts on blogs you frequent. That allows you to go to one place for everything instead of wasting valuable time logging on and off. And try limiting the number of blogs you follow. It keeps me busy just following up on the many wonderful resources our pastors recommend along with their sermons.

    * Question: Am I maxing out on information and forgetting about application?

• Stay in touch. Our lives as wives and mothers are primarily relational. Try using a speaker system for your IPod so that when you are listening to music or sermons, it is not to the exclusion of your family. Monitor amounts of time spent in chit-chat on the phone.

    * Question: Am I practically unavailable to my husband or children because I’m plugged-in, on line, or tied up for extended periods during the day?

Take it one thing at a time. And be encouraged…a little thought and application go a long way.