By Ramona Doyle

One of my sons recently completed a construction project for a school class: a soda straw and paper clip structure that would compete with those of other students to see which one could hold the most weight. Before he even started the project, I had already pointed out almost every potential mistake he might make, including his tendency to become distracted and procrastinate.

He finished his project on time. He won. He came home beaming with a $5 prize and I realized I had missed a huge opportunity. Rather than encouraging his efforts and cheering him on to do his best, I became the prophet of doom. Well not exactly, but I’m sure my admonitions weren’t very encouraging.

I am becoming increasingly aware of a subtle tendency to root my expectations for my children in things other than the Lord and his all-sufficient Word and work. How easy it is to do this… we spend each and every day with them. If we have large families, we’re surrounded! We can be so acutely aware of past experiences, disappointments and hurts, and their sinful tendencies, as well as limits to our own strength and ability to parent well, and we can allow these things to inform our expectations of them.

When we do this it affects the way we view them, and as a result the way we interact with them. We can make assumptions, have sinful judgments, self-sufficiently try to do what only God can do in them, and fail to recognize the Lord’s work in their lives and encourage them in it. This can lead to discouragement on both sides. And this doesn’t just apply to our children…we can do this with others around us—our husbands, our coworkers, and our close friends.

When we allow our experiences to inform our view of others, we are ignoring some wonderful, hope-filled truth from the Word of God. Ephesians 2 reminds us:

But God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

The grace that pursued me in the midst of my sin is the same grace that is at work in my children as the Lord pursues them in the midst of their sin. The grace I know as a child of God is the same grace the Lord lavishes on my children as they come to know him and learn to walk in his ways. That is real gospel hope, and clinging to it affects the way I live and the way I encourage.

Let's daily fix our eyes on the source of our hope that we might live with great expectations. For God to work in us…and work in those around us.

By Trish Donohue

I'm currently reading the kids "Anne of Green Gables".  It's a stretch for the boys, but I promised they'd like it, despite its lack of explosions and guy stuff.  And they do.  If you haven't read it, Anne is an orphan girl adopted by a pair of elderly siblings who ends up changing the small town through her charming personality.  She gets herself in "scrapes", but always comes out even more lovable than before.  You can't help liking her.

What makes her such a great main character?

• She's passionate about everything:  Nature, learning, friendships.
• She's incredibly imaginative, turning simple life into magical fantasies.
• She's smart as a whip and even her outbursts are insightful.  Her descriptions are stirring, her rhetoric is flawless, her recitations move the town to tears.
• All this, and she remains for the most part a faithful, simple girl.

After reading the book, you want to be like her.  But the fact is, few of us are.  Most of us are, truthfully, not that exceptional.  We're not moving people to tears with our oratory, we're not changing the world with our natural cheer, we're not winning first prize at anything, and we think of good retorts only after the conversation is over.  Some of us are dull, even downright awkward, and pretty un-Anne-like.

Who would bother putting us in their story?

Flip open to 1 Corinthians 1:

For consider your calling, brothers:  not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.

Ouch, but true!

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.

God chose us.  The Author chose us.  Like Moses, Jacob, David, Peter, Mary Magdalene, and so many others on His leading character list, we're hopelessly flawed.  But He chose our slow tongues, our dull minds, our checkered pasts, and incorporated us into His story.  Not only that, but He adopted us orphans as His own children.  Amazing!

The passage ends like this:

And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord".

It doesn't matter if I'm not impressive:  It matters if I'm "in Christ Jesus".  It doesn't matter if my kids aren't winning blue ribbons and charm contests:  God chooses even the weak.

Unlike the books that we enjoy, what matters in this story isn't the quality of the characters, but the quality of the author who, in this case, really is worth boasting about.

By Andy Farmer

One of the crazier events in the sports world this summer was the LeBron James free agency extravaganza. Sometimes you read something that captures your feelings about an event. This column by Leonard Pitts, of The Miami Herald from July 14 does it for me.

An open letter to 24th century historians.

I've left this note for you as a public service. Three hundred years from now, when you study the things that dominated American thought in the summer of 2010, I suspect one pressing question will rise above all others:
 
Who the heck was LeBron James?
 
I'm here to answer that for you but first, let me say how very cool it is ("cool" was a slang term we used to indicate that a thing was good) to find myself addressing you like this. The idea that you might stumble across these words in some archive of the future, that you might be reading this letter (or absorbing it through your skin or however it is you process text in your era, assuming you still do) long after I am dead fills me with questions. I wonder:

What is the state of healthcare in 2310?

Is interplanetary travel now routine?

Did BP ever get that oil leak fixed?

Of course, unless you've invented time travel (you haven't, have you?) there's no way for you to answer my questions. So let me get down to business and answer yours.

Who was LeBron James?

Some of you probably think he was a wizard, a mystic, or some minor-league deity. You'd base that conclusion on press reports indicating that his decision to withdraw himself from a place called “Cleveland” left that region staggering, devastated, bereft of its civic will to live and ripe for plundering by roving bands of “Lakers”, “Celtics” and “Bulls”. Well, he wasn't some minor god.

Some of you probably think he was a great general who betrayed his own troops in battle. You'd base that conclusion on a letter a man named Dan Gilbert posted on the website (do you still have websites?) of an organization he owned called the “Cleveland Cavaliers”. In it, he accused this LeBron James of cowardice, disloyalty, heartlessness, selfishness, callousness and traitorousness -- and even put a curse on him. So I can understand how you'd figure LeBron James was a military leader, but he wasn't that, either.

Some of you probably think he was a human-rights icon who took some bold stand for freedom. You'd base that conclusion on a statement from a man named Jesse Jackson Sr., who accused Gilbert of treating James like “a runaway slave”. Of course, Gilbert was said to be willing to pay James $125 million over six years for his services; I don't know how it is in your era, but that was a lot of money back in 2010 -- way more than one makes as a slave. So, no, LeBron James wasn't a human-rights icon.

Some of you have no idea who he was, but from the way we, in this era, couldn't stop talking about him, from all the anger, argument and invective his name stirred, you may believe he must have been a figure of transformational importance in world history. He wasn't.
And, yes, I'll keep my promise to answer your question, but I have to say, the answer is embarrassing. It speaks to the propensity we had in my era for aggrandizing the trivial. And to our tendency to lose all perspective. And to our occasional inability to tell the difference between that which diverts or amuses us and that which defines our entire self worth.

So, who was LeBron James?

He was a basketball player. In the summer of 2010, he announced his decision to leave a team that played in “Cleveland” to join another in a city called “Miami”. He did this on a television special (do you still have TV?) some regarded as a monument to his ego and exaggerated sense of his own importance.

So there you have it. LeBron James was a guy who played basketball.

To anticipate your next question: Basketball was a game invented by a man named James Naismith back in 1891.

We used to enjoy watching and playing it. It was fun.

By Jill Vander Weide

Saul of Tarsus received a glorious commission from God to take the gospel to the uttermost parts of the earth. That was after a voice and light from heaven knocked him off his horse, struck him blind, and something like scales fell from his eyes. For me, it was a pair of glasses that just kept falling from my eyes that prompted a gospel commission of smaller sorts - not to the uttermost but to the optometrist. It was the third time in a month that my sole pair of eyeglasses broke, and finally, when I asked the Lord for clarity, I began to “see” God’s plan in it. Could I be sensing correctly that this bit of ocular misfortune was providing an opportunity for more than my growth in trust and patience, but an opportunity for proclaiming the gospel?

But to which worker did God want me to speak? How would I know when to go? How should I open the conversation? How much should I say? The questions flooded my mind. A number of busy days passed. I was still eyeglass-less. I didn’t feel ready enough to share. I reasoned that I must first spend sufficient time fasting and in prayer. Then, I would feel ready. I just didn’t want to mess up God’s plan. I was living as if the success of each mission he gave me had more to do with my plan, my obedience, my preparation, my courage, and my role in proclaiming His gospel. And that made the responsibility seem a whole lot more intimidating.

If only I could have heard one of our Acts series sermons about evangelism back then. I would have realized it was all about His plan, His unleashed Word, His work in human hearts before we ever enter the scene. I would have realized that it wasn’t up to me to devise my own plan or to feel pressure to “perform” a perfect gospel proclamation. All Philip had to do was to follow the Spirit’s voice to the Ethiopian eunuch and open his mouth to proclaim God’s gospel. God had already prepared the eunuch’s heart to receive the message. He just needed an available and willing messenger. God is no respecter of persons. Whenever we follow Paul’s and Philip’s example and listen to and follow God’s direction, we too will bear much fruit. We may pray with someone who is ready to repent and turn to Christ for salvation, or we may just play our part in the long chain of influences in another’s life. But in either case, the fruit of obedience and faithfulness is eternal. Remember, in John 21, when the disciples fished all night on their own and caught nothing. Once they listened to Jesus and put out their net precisely where Christ told them to, the catch was significant.

My husband must have known something of the Master’s role in the mission field of that North Carolina eyeglass store now two decades ago. Despite my own lack of preparation, Brian discreetly grabbed my broken glasses and brought them with us on errands. I felt a bit like Jonah thrust from the big fish as my newlywed husband pulled into the parking lot of the optometrist and flung open the door for me.

The one employee in the office at the time was just finishing up with his last customer when I walked through God’s open door. With no time to rehearse what I would say, I was forced to lean upon God and ask Him for boldness and faith to share the good news of Christ. The whole time the man fixed my glasses, I could think of nothing to say. As he handed them back repaired, I thanked him but made no move toward the door. After an awkward pause and another arrow prayer, I nervously opened my mouth. I told him I could not leave until I told him the more important reason God had sent me that day. “You see,” I expressed, “I believe God is involved in all the events of our lives, and that He is the one who has allowed my glasses to be broken so many times because He wants me to share with you how God saved me and the difference He makes in the lives of those who trust in Christ.” No eloquent introduction here. And what followed was just a simple pronouncement of my testimony and God’s gospel. The optometrist thanked me for being willing to take time with him, adding that all I had shared were the very things his sister had been saying to him on many long distance phone calls. He felt that God was getting his attention that day and telling him to listen to her. With the help of God and my husband, I had just entered the scene of God’s activity.

Since that time, I’ve experienced the joy of watching God use telephone calls, even “wrong” numbers, appliance and car break downs, confessions of sin, our neighborhood, even our very doorstep as opportunities to get His message out. I’ve seen him time and again turn trips to stores, hospitals, hairdressers, restaurants, doctors’ and dentists’ offices, parks, the gym and everything in between into opportunities to love people by taking time to share the good news of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t take great effort to find fish, just a willingness to interrupt our agenda, take time with people, and open our mouths with God’s glorious message. He brings the fish right to our boat. He is choosing which servant He will place in whose path at any given time. Are we listening to the Master Fisherman’s voice tell us where to cast the net of the gospel and our testimony of His salvation? Then, lets grab our nets (His gospel and the Word of your testimony) and get ready to fish.
 

By Uchenna Osegbu

This week we are celebrating God’s work in our teens.  Today we’re sharing the testimony of one of our young women who was baptized on Sunday.

Like most people in the church, I was born in a Christian home.  My mom, who is the godliest person I have ever known, stressed how important God was and how much I and my siblings needed him in our lives.  However, as I got older, God became less and less important to me.  It seemed like Christianity was only for adults, and I thought that my childhood was the time to have fun and do whatever I wanted, regardless of the spiritual consequences.  In my mind, God would only restrain me and ruin my fun, and I didn’t want that.  God was in no way a part of my life (unless I wanted something), and, at the time, that was okay with me.

Not only did I not know of God and His everlasting mercies, I didn’t want to know.  I never prayed, my Bible went untouched, and I tried to avoid everything and everyone having to do with the church at all costs.  I thought that my worldly “friends” were all that I needed and that if God really loved me, He would let me have my fun and live for me, and then just forgive me later for whatever I did wrong.  I thought that I was invincible and that I didn’t need God; little did I know that God had a plan call “Operation Takeover” for my life.

As freshman year at a new school began, so did one of the hardest years of my life.  I knew that I wasn’t happy and that something was missing from my life, and though deep inside I knew what it was, it took me a long time to admit to myself that it was God.  When I finally did, I knew that I wanted Him in my life and I wanted to live for Him.  The problem was, I didn’t know how.  I tried over and over to let Him into my heart, but it never felt real, and soon after, I would fall back into my old routine.  I was sad and frustrated because it seemed like God was denying me and didn’t want me.  But on August 15, 2008, at Youth Camp 08, the Lord pursued me, and I truly gave my life to Him.  I haven’t gone back since.

For the past two years of my life, God has been waging war on my sinful nature.  Each and every battle was a terrible struggle between my sin and God’s love that I could have never fought on my own, but in His infinite mercy, God gave me the strength and wisdom to fight through each of the devil’s snares.  He comforted me in times of deep pain, and when my sins brought me to my knees, He lifted me up again.  Even when I strayed on my own (which happened more times than I can count), God would show me my sin and accept me back with open arms.  I have no idea where I would be if it wasn’t for the love and sacrifice of my Savior Jesus, who died on the cross and rose again to save sinners like me, but I do know that because God chose me to receive the blessing of His son’s sacrifice, I, an undeserving wretch and sinner, now have the privilege of spending my life and all of eternity with Jesus and living in His loving kindness and care.

By Rachel Gonzales

I am so very thankful for the wonderful Christian friends the Lord has brought into my life. He has been kind to grow friendships that are an integral part of His work to make me more like Him.

Recently, I used one of my “phone a friends” in a now humorous situation. But at the time it was a bit stressful. My youngest and her hair again…here’s what happened.

My two daughters and I were getting ready to leave for an appointment. We were at the “need to leave in 20 minutes” mark when my youngest, in an attempt to be helpful, came into my room and said, “Mommy, something happened.” She then turned around and revealed her matted, mangled mess of hair…with a brush handle sticking out of it. The round brush she decided to use to brush her hair was so stuck that it did not even move when she turned around. I tried to stay calm as I quickly checked my watch and evaluated the situation. I began working on the mess and realized that scissors could be in our near future. I worked on her hair for a few minutes and then realized that freedom for this brush was going to require a bold move…the bathtub.

My frustration was rising. I knew this was just a mistake, made because she wanted to be helpful. I was trying to figure out how late we would be to our activity. I was trying to imagine her with a cute, short bob as I worked to keep my voice in check. And then God nudged me to use a “phone a friend”. So I called my sweet friend and asked for prayer, knowing that just making the call was God offering me accountability for this situation.

Well, after the tub and half a bottle of conditioner later, my littlest still had most of her hair. I did find some amusement in the size of the tangle I was working on in light of another time God had used my daughter’s tangled hair to get my attention. Read about it here: 

http://www.covfel.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=52015&articleId=9285

But it was the “phone a friend” that God kept bringing me back to. The most immediate need at the time was for me to keep my cool and not to lose my patience over a mistake, over her attempt at being a helpful “big girl”. Obviously I didn’t want to have to cut her hair, but the length of her hair is not really a huge deal in the big picture of life. My reaction to life, however, is a big deal, especially to my girls. My reactions will teach them how to react. My actions do speak very boldly about what I believe about our Lord. It’s hard for the gospel to be on display when I react sinfully to life’s circumstances.

God used my “phone a friend” to help keep me in check. He used it to offer me help in exhibiting the fruit of the spirit to my daughters. I needed the accountability He offered to demonstrate patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. That day, accountability came through a friendship of His growing. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of friendship.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” 
                                                                                                                   Hebrews 10:24 

By Barb Cournoyer

Mark Prater did a message recently in our Acts series on the activity of the Holy Spirit. Since that time I’ve tried to find areas that the Spirit has been at work in the day to day activities of life. Intercessory prayer would have to be an area where the Lord regularly surprises me by giving me opportunities to pray for others. It’s in this area that the Lord has poured out faith and encouraged my soul that He is ever with us and knows our every need. I confess that I don’t have all the answers about how prayer works, but am so grateful that a Holy God who doesn’t really need us to do what He can do without us brings us in to see His power at work.

I’ll give you some of the WOW moments where the Lord has left me speechless and in awe of His power at work among us. The first WOW moment occurred several years back when I was driving home from Maryland. I had plenty of time to think and pray. A family from church that I didn’t really know came to mind. I wasn’t sure what was going on for them or why they were on my mind so I just prayed a simple prayer that the Lord would meet them and provide for them whatever was going on. Several weeks later I saw them in church and told them that the Lord had brought them to mind. They told me that at the time I was praying for them, they were out of the country in the process of adopting their son. They had hit a significant amount of opposition and were experiencing difficulty. That day, the Lord broke through for them and provided what they needed.

The next WOW moment occurred after a Global Initiative prayer meeting where we were praying for Sri Lanka. Several months later I had an opportunity to meet one of the pastors and asked how they were doing. As he gave me the update, he repeated back to me almost verbatim the prayer I prayed for them. Except he was telling me the answers of how God has been providing for them and lifting “the cloud of oppression,” exactly what I had prayed. There were many other things he said that were prayed at that meeting. I was speechless and undone. I think I was weeping while he was talking to me. I could hardly believe that the Lord allowed me to see his mighty hand at work in this way.

The next time someone is just “on your mind,” pray for them and then follow-up and see how the Lord is at work. I like to leave messages for folks or send an email or card to let them know that they’ve been on my heart. It is amazing how many times someone has told me that they were in the midst of a trial and they were encouraged to know that the Lord was caring for them through the body of Christ and intercessory prayer. 

By Ramona Doyle

Remember the biblical account of the Exodus when Israel fled Egypt. The Lord worked great and marvelous things for them—miracles that they couldn’t miss. They witnessed the terrible plagues in Egypt, saw the Lord protect them by the blood on their doorposts when the first born were slaughtered, received favor among the Egyptians by the Lord’s hand, stood in awe as the Lord parted the waters of the sea, and felt relief as the Lord tumbled the waters upon the pursuing army. And the Lord’s visible presence was with them day and night in the cloud and pillar of fire. Yet, even with these amazing demonstrations of the Lord’s presence and power, as soon as they became uncomfortable or faced trials in the wilderness, they faltered in their trust of the Lord.

So why recount this familiar story? Because I realize that I can be very much like the Israelites. I not only have the written accounts in Scripture of the Lord’s faithful care for Israel, but also wonderful memories of all that God has done in my own life…saving me, providing for me, caring for my needs, meeting me when I call upon Him. But at times when trial knocks on my door, my first thoughts venture to the worse case scenario. This point was driven home recently when I thought that I had developed another tumor on a salivary glad (I had surgery to remove a benign tumor a few months ago). Instead of casting my care upon the Lord and lifting my prayers to him, my first thoughts were to imagine the worse. My thought patterns went something like, ”Oh no! I’ll need to clear out my schedule because I’ll probably need surgery soon. There goes our vacation…I won’t be well enough to travel by the end of the month. What if something is really wrong this time that they missed the last time?” You get the flavor. Sadly, what I had just done was to imagine my life and trial without the Lord.

How contrary to every thing I know about God to think this way! I had to ignore a mountain of scripture to allow those thoughts to invade my serenity. Psalm 16:5-6 tells us, “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” And verse 8 goes on to say, “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” Our challenge in the everyday is to keep the Lord ever before our eyes. The means of grace He provides in Scripture, prayer, and fellowship are so important. When we avail ourselves of them, we peacefully reside in the middle of the Lord’s chosen boundaries for our lives and there find his presence, care, protection, and comfort, no matter our circumstances. Don’t wait for a trial!  Live each day with the Lord before your eyes, and you will not be shaken!

By Andy Farmer

One of the guys on the team sent me the following link. Did you ever wonder who would actually live in the rooms and houses that are created in magazines to advertise furniture and home decorating? Somebody has answered that question in some humorous ways on the following web site:  http://www.catalogliving.tumblr.com/

By Ramona Doyle

Remember that poem that starts, “I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where…”? I made a startling realization recently while reevaluating some of my priorities. Without intentional effort, I can easily live much of my life just like the archer in Longfellow’s poem, blindly shooting my energy and efforts in many directions, yet failing to hit any mark. To get to the point…when I aim at nothing, it’s easy to hit it.

But that is not how the Lord calls us to live our lives. He beckons a measure of intentionality when, in Ephesians 5:15-16, he cautions us, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” The Lord kindly reminds us how important it is to focus our efforts in the various areas of our lives so that we can make wise choices and maximize our fruitfulness.

This point was driven home for me recently while taking the FPU course. We set some financial goals to guide our spending and saving. With measurable goals in mind for things like food and household items, I began to realize how much money I had previously been wasting for lack of a target. Meeting our goals required a greater measure of planning, which changed my haphazard spending habits and rekindled my excitement for cooking and serving creative meals to my family. My family is enjoying my cooking much more, and it seems we are eating better for less—much better for much less. We saw many dividends for an ounce of intentionality in the area of finances.

There are many areas of our lives where setting measurable goals and living with intentionality can pay abundant dividends: our devotional lives, our marriages, our parenting, our homemaking, our use of time, our service to the church, our care for our bodies. I find it helpful to seek the Lord, evaluate, talk with my husband, and set goals in these areas at least once a year. And the Lord, in his kindness, seems to multiply his grace so that the dividends from one area spill over into every area of my life.

Where are you aiming your energy and efforts? Perhaps it is time to target some measurable goals.

By Ramona Doyle

When my husband does family devotions, our children, especially the younger ones, have caught onto the fact that they can get lots of his questions right by shouting out the answer, “Jesus!” They may not even know the actual answer to his question, but have found by experience that the answer of “Jesus” seems to work a good percentage of the time. And so when in doubt, they will usually try that answer first! Granted, even when that answer works, they may not really understand the complexities of the point Bill is trying to make, but in their youthful zeal, they have stumbled upon a great truth with relevance to every area of our lives… “Jesus is the answer.”

How often do we find ourselves in the midst of a difficult day, a sudden trial, or with an unplanned need and instead of first looking to Jesus who is the source of all hope and help, look to our own strength and resources. I can be guilty of this. I can assume (sometimes very subtly) that because I have resolve, or because I have lots of energy, or because I have skills in certain areas… I can make it through a given situation. Then, instead of allowing my weakness to point me to the One who is the source and supply of all strength for every need and circumstance, I self-sufficiently rely on my own resources, meager as they are (and always will be!). Sadly, when I do this, I miss wonderful opportunities from the hand of my Savior to draw from the boundless resources of his mercy, kindness, strength, and joy.  I also miss seeing Jesus magnified in my eyes as I appropriate the help and care he so readily makes available.

In reality, there is nothing in our lives that doesn’t have to do with Jesus. And it has helped me in the midst of my daily situations, to make certain basic assumptions:

1. Jesus is the source. Every circumstance in my life is lovingly designed by my Savior for my good and his glory (Romans 8:28-31).

2. Jesus is at work. He promises to use every circumstance in my life to further his purposes for my life (2 Corinthians 4:16-17).

3. Jesus is the answer. When I seek him first and center my life on his ways, he promises to supply all of my needs (Matthew 6:33).

Starting with these assumptions helps me direct my hope and efforts where they rightfully belong—upon the One who is sufficient in every need and circumstance. I don’t need to understand all of the complexities of my situations to experience great hope and help from the Lord.  All I need is a humble and dependent heart that looks first to Jesus. (Right answer!)

By Ramona Doyle

As the school year winds to a close and the level of school-related activities in our family slows, my mind begins to shift to the months ahead…and my first thought? I’m ready for a vacation! How kind of the Lord to give us these months to slow down, take a break from the demands of our children’s busy school schedules, and enjoy the beauty of His creation. But if I’m not careful, my “vacation” could easily undo the very things I’ve spent all year trying to build in my children and family.

During the summer months, I can be tempted to kick back, take each day as it comes, and forget about any type of order in my home. Eager as I am for a break, I can’t take a vacation from building relationships with my children, parenting, or serving my family.

Through the years I’ve found that taking time at the beginning of the summer to plan for the summer months yields lasting fruit in the lives of my children and family. Abandoning all sense of schedule and purpose during summer days has never served us well. So I’ve tried to plan days that are purposeful, flexible, and yes—even fun, and usually include the following components:

• Time for devotions – Though my husband usually leads family devotions after dinner, helping my children take time in the morning to pray and read scripture is a valuable discipline that points their hearts and minds to what is most important and fosters dependency on the Lord.
  
  
• Time to read – My kids participate in our library’s summer reading program and I build an hour of reading into their daily morning routine.
  
  
• Time to practice – For my kids this involves practicing piano and often working on some fun language arts/math related skills or games. They enjoy the challenge and can more easily hit the ground running in the fall! “Summer activity” books are available in many drug or office supply stores this time of year.
  
  
• Time to help around the house – We involve our children in various household tasks—from keeping their rooms tidy, to helping with the family laundry, cleaning, and yard work. Left to themselves, they can so easily become self-focused and independent. This helps reinforce an “others orientation” in their hearts and builds them into our family.
  
  
• Time for fun! – It’s summer! We try to take time each day to enjoy something that shout’s “Summer!” Swimming, playing in the sprinkler with friends, going to the park, freeze pops, and making summer treats with mom have all been big hits. And once a week or so we try to do something a little bigger—maybe berry picking or a trip to the zoo.
  
  
• Time to serve – We want our children to be aware of the needs of others, and especially use the summer months to involve them in serving others…meals, yard work, or even a cheery card to encourage.

Girl Talk has an outstanding series packed with creative ideas for making good use of the summer months. It’s called “Sweet Summertime” and can be accessed HERE..

by Trish Donohue 

Someone is staring at me as I write.  He’s a black and orange Flyer’s player, made of Lego’s and standing on my end table.  Although I’m sure he’s supposed to be vicious, holding his stick so seriously, he’s actually very cute and his orange eyes seem to be smiling at me.

He must not know about Stubey the hamster dying today, or his orange eyes would be crying, like some eyes in our house were earlier.  A friend, no matter how small and furry, is a hard thing to lose.  

Fortunately, we had ice cream sandwiches on hand, which lessened the grief better than any bouquet of flowers ever could. 

Little snapshots at the end of the day:  Flyers Guy, an empty hamster cage, and an ice cream sandwich wrapper that was supposed to be in the trash.  Together representing the joys and tragedies of childhood, the highs and lows of the growing heart. 

Do these snapshots hold any value?  Do we file them under “trivialities” or “childishness” and turn the page quickly?

Jesus says, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

And so it is with our children.  Jesus knows and cares about the tiniest details of their lives, and orchestrates events that point them to him.

A Flyers game, with its jubilant cheers and agonizing disappointments, is an arrow pointing to God.  Where do we put our hope?  What makes us most excited?  What victory do we dream of?

A hamster’s death, with appropriate tears and questions of hamster heaven is an arrow pointing to God.  Time flies so quickly.  What will heaven be like?  Why do things die on this earth?

An ice cream sandwich, with its hydrogenated, processed yumminess and brown cookie crumbs glued to your teeth, is an arrow pointing to God.  There are blessings and treats on earth that come from the hand of a fun-loving, food-loving God.

Do we lecture our kids about all these truths and turn every event into a sermon series?  God, keep us from it!  But help us to seize the opportunities you provide, and wisely show them that you are the end of all they seek.

By Ramona Doyle

When I turned on my vacuum cleaner recently I noticed a strange phenomenon… the more I vacuumed, the worse the visibility in the room I was trying to clean.  Dust clouds were rising, feeding the growing suspicion that the bag just might be full.  I found more dust packed around the bag than inside the stuffed overflowing bag itself.  It literally filled a tall kitchen bag!  An hour later after I finished cleaning my cleaning equipment…

Ok, you ask…how does a veteran homemaker miss it by that much?  Well, I didn’t.  My kids (now we’re all smiling) had been doing the household cleaning for me following a surgical procedure requiring me to take it easy for several weeks and this was the first time I had vacuumed in two months.  Look at the bright side (at least it got bright once the dust settled :-) …my children faithfully cleaned my home for 8 weeks!

Lesson learned…when you involve your kids, things can get messy really fast!  Of course, I say that tongue in cheek.  But if you are like me, there can be the ongoing temptation to just “do it yourself” with regard to the home.  It’s much easier and more effective to cook, clean, do laundry and manage keeping the house running ourselves.  Our sense of accomplishment can be easily tied to what we can check off our lists, and incorporating our children into the mix just isn’t very efficient.  BUT (you knew that was coming, didn’t you!), as I’ve watched my kids grow (now 27, 21, 17, 13, and 10), I’ve learned that what is momentarily expedient may not serve long-term in light of the Lord’s ongoing call for me to train up my children.  And, I don’t want to be ruled by my desires for order and control in my home; rather, how wonderful to know the joy of fulfilling the Lord’s call for me to care for my home in a way that truly expresses the heart of God for my entire family.

As we involve our children with us in the ongoing stuff of our lives we not only create opportunity to build, deepen, and strengthen our relationships with them, but also create new contexts for the Gospel…opportunities through relationship to look the awe inspiring love of our Savior gave himself that we might be freed from our selfishness, sinful hearts to love and serve Him forever!  Our children grow in their appreciation for what it takes to keep our homes running and learn to sacrificially serve others even as our Savior took the form of a servant to care for us.  And they learn valuable skills that will serve them throughout their adult lives.

Dishes may get broken, the lawn-mower may spend time in the shop, dust storms may occasionally invade the tranquility of your day, but the kingdom of God begins to invade our family life and reap long-term fruit in the lives of our children.  “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox” (Proverbs 14:4).

By Megan Mellinger

Reading plays a vital role in our spiritual growth as believers.  But if you are anything like me, you have an ever growing list of books you’d like to read, but a limited amount of time to get that reading done!  So the question of what you read and don’t read becomes all the more important. 

I’ve noticed that as women we can be naturally drawn to books of a more practical nature – books that are usually written by female authors that speak to our roles as wives and mothers.  At times we might even restrict our reading entirely to books like this. 

Now practical application is a very good thing and is essential to the Christian life!  And I thank God for the many books by godly women that have had a great impact on my life.  I have been helped tremendously by some of the parenting books out there and books that address me in my role as wife and mom. 

But one of the (perhaps surprising) things I’ve learned along the way is that the books that help me the most to be a better wife and mom are books by theologians and pastors that deepen my understanding and appreciation of the cross and help me love the Savior more…in other words, books that are more theological in nature. 

So if you were to ask me what books have helped me most as a wife and mom I think I would tell you books like Scandalous by D.A. Carson (which I just finished and absolutely loved!) or Holiness by J.C. Ryle (who has impacted me enough to name my firstborn son Ryle after him!) or Spiritual Depression by Martin Lloyd-Jones (probably my favorite author, although I don’t anticipate naming any of my children Martin, Lloyd, or Jones).

These are books that are full of Scripture, and books that preach the truth of God’s word to my heart.  These are the type of books that feed my soul and increase my faith toward God...and as a result there is an increase in the fruit of the Spirit in my life, which in turn makes me a better wife and mother. 

It is this fruit of the Spirit that will also attract my children to the gospel.  I’ve come to realize that my own personal holiness will do more to draw my children to God than my teaching or techniques.  What I need most as a mom (or wife or daughter or friend) isn’t a methodology to apply, but the transforming power of the gospel.  And so my reading diet ought to reflect that great need. 

To be clear, I do think we need to continue reading books on parenting and biblical femininity (in fact I’m in the middle of reading a parenting book right now!).  And I think as women we should be reading some of the great books by female authors.  But I don’t think this should be the biggest portion of our reading.  Let’s reserve the biggest portion of our reading diet for those books that feed our souls on God’s word and deepen our love for the Savior. 

And as we do this, don’t be too surprised to find yourself continuing to grow as a wife, mother, and woman of God in the process!

By Trish Donohue

Have you ever felt dull to your sin?  You know you’re sinning frequently, but you aren’t confessing to God with much specificity or sorrow.  I noticed this in my own life recently and came across this list that George Whitfield, renowned evangelist of the Great Awakening, used daily for purposes of self-examination.

Have I,

1. Been fervent in prayer?

2. Used stated hours of prayer?

3. Used ejaculatory prayer each hour?

4. After or before every deliberate conversation or action, considered how it might tend to God’s glory?

5. After any pleasure, immediately given thanks?

6. Planned business for the day?

7. Been simple and recollected in everything?

8. Been zealous in undertaking and active in doing what good I could?

9. Been meek, cheerful, affable in everything I said or did?

10. Been proud, vain, unchaste, or enviable of others?

11. Recollected in eating and drinking?  Thankful?  Temperate in sleep?

12. Taken time for giving thanks according to (William) Law’s rules?

13. Been diligent in studies?

14. Thought or spoken unkindly of anyone?

15. Confessed all sins?

It’s amazing how quickly a list like this can jumpstart the lazy conscience! 

Consider customizing this list to the specifics of your own life and temptations—not to become more sin-focused, but to grow in our appreciation for the amazing gift of salvation! 

Note: list found in Donald Whitney’s Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, p. 204.

 

By Ramona Doyle

I consider myself to be an active person…quiet times early in the morning, brisk two mile walks for exercise, staying on top of the family needs like shopping and laundry, being actively involved with my kids’ schooling, lots of gardening, serving in ministries in the church …all worthy things from which I derive great pleasure.  But I learned some interesting lessons that surprised me recently when I went through a season of prolonged illness. 

So often I can think I am being dependent upon the Lord for my life and days, but in reality I am subtly relying on my own energy, strength, and intellect. And at the same time I am seeking the Lord’s glory, I can find a measure of identity and fulfillment in the things I do as I feed my own desire for glory. Even in my desire to serve my family or the body of Christ, I can self-sufficiently resist being served.

When we are physically unable to function at our desired capacity we can easily become impatient with the trial and tempted to discouragement. I was. But I have found that the Lord uses seasons like this—ones where we have to depend on him for things we would never have thought to be difficult.  Things like sleeping at night, energy, or help to do the most basic daily activities—to meet us in deeper ways than we could ever imagine. And in the midst of it al, certain things stand out:

• The Lord is available:  Seasons of weakness that increase our ‘neediness’ can cause us to cry out to the Lord and pray with greater fervor, and the Lord promises to draw near to us as we draw near to him (James 4:8a).
• The Lord is sufficient:  We are created in weakness, but often forget until our weakness stares us in the face. As we cast ourselves more fully on the Lord’s grace, we see him work in ways that are amazing, both to strengthen us and to provide our needs (2 Corinthians 4:7).
• The body of Christ shines:  Not one of us has all of the abilities we need to make it on our own. God didn’t make us this way; rather he gifted the body of Christ that we might care for one another to his glory and praise. Others can develop and use their gifts as we step out of familiar roles during our seasons of need. And as others care for us, our love and gratitude for the body of Christ grows, and his name is glorified in our communities.
• God’s plan for our lives is good:  His plans may be different than our plans, but he promises that his boundary lines for us have fallen in pleasant places and we can trust him for our futures, which are never question marks in his mind (Psalm 16:6, Jeremiah 29:11)!

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

By Christina Roth

I have often been reminded of that special day in March of 1996, when the Lord graciously saved me. As I dwell on that day, I get small glimpses of my past.  I see the many events and conversations that led up to that day.

I remember sitting in front of a trusted friend after he shared the gospel and I remember saying, “I am a good person.  Of course I’m going to heaven.”  And I remember how gently and lovingly he began to show me the error to my thinking.

I remember sitting in the front of a small church on soft green pews, listening to my friend sing a song from Romans 1: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…”

I remember being filled with emotion, convicted of my sin and seeing my need for the Savior.  Oh what a glorious day it was!

A few weeks later after reading through the Gospel of John, I could not contain this joy I was feeling. I could not describe it. I was captured for sure but could not explain it. I drove over to the church, bursting to tell someone…anyone.  After looking desperately, I found the pastor.  He listened as I explained to him this inexplicable feeling I had.  He chuckled, smiled, and rejoiced right along with me.

He led me to 1 Peter 1:8-9. “Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

That was it! Peter knew it…joy inexpressible! That was the only thing that allowed me to articulate the depth of emotion I felt.  It was inexpressible joy…joy inexpressible!

The details of your conversion may be drastically different from mine.  However, I can say that dwelling on your conversion will likely have the same effect as dwelling on mine did for me.  If you lack joy this day, look to the cross.  Remember how God revealed himself to you.  Remember the songs and the conversations that all converged throughout the cosmos on your behalf.  Remember the day you first believed, and be filled with gratitude.  You were lost in your sin.  Yet, though the mercy of God, in the death of his son, you were redeemed.  You were bought and rescued and adopted and guaranteed to spend all of eternity with the Lord and Maker of your soul.  Such remembrance, rightly understood, will undoubtedly lead to joy inexpressible!

By Ramona Doyle

We had a wonderful discussion during a recent community group meeting when we split men and women and the gals discussed how we can live out "women’s ministry" in the day to day.  This discussion was a follow-up to our January women’s ministry meeting.  As we talked, I was particularly struck by comments from a couple of the ladies who shared burdens for the Zacchaeus’s in our midst.  Remember Zacchaeus?  He was the little guy in Luke 19 who so wanted to know more about Jesus that he climbed a Sycamore tree to get a glimpse of him.  Though he was out of the Savior’s line of vision, Jesus knew he was there, walked right over to him, beckoned him out of the tree, and spent time with him.

What challenged me during our discussion was the realization of how short sighted I can sometimes be as I go through my days…getting done with my stuff, carrying out my business, checking things off my ‘to do’ list.  As busy women, wives, and mothers, we have a lot on our plates, and the urgent can sometimes override the important.  We can become so focused on our lives that we miss the Zacchaeus’s in our midst—the new folks, the lonely person sitting off in the sidelines, the folks who are struggling but not yet knit into the life of the church in a way so as to draw encouragement and help from others.

I left that discussion with fresh conviction and new resolve to ask the Lord for eyes to see the Zacchaeus’s around me.  Within just a few days I was amazed at the many opportunities the Lord provided.  At the next Sunday meeting I had a conversation with a family visiting for the baptism that was going to be held during the service.  I was able to welcome a couple who had moved to the area and was looking for a new church.  We invited the daughter of some friends who are newer to the church over, only to find that the gesture of friendship from our daughter was extra meaningful because this little gal didn’t know many other children in the church.  These stories are just one day and one person trusting the Lord for eyes to see.  What if we all asked the Lord to show us the Zacchaeus’s in our midst and purposed to reach out so that there were none left out or lonely numbered among us?

There was women’s ministry happening during that community group women’s discussion.  We were all challenged by the thoughts that were shared and made freshly aware of the Lord’s grace available in simple acts of kindness.  We were equipped to appropriate grace to change.  May the Lord so use each of us in the one-anothers of our lives as we seek to live out "women’s ministry" in the day to day.

A special thanks to Donna Gabbadon and Kathy Muir for your hearts for the Lord and for others.  These gals initiated the Zacchaeus thoughts that so deeply affected us that night.

By Trish Donohue

 

Analogies about spring abound.  Poets love to wax eloquent about spring; singers love to croon about spring.  All those themes of growth, renewal, hope, and life get us all worked up and we begin to pontificate—but appropriately.  It is a pretty amazing thing to see the earth moving and growing as it responds to its Creator. 

 

So the kids and I were quoting Robert Frost as we noticed the new yellowish leaves:  “Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.”  That is, until we saw our pink azaleas and it turned into, “Nature’s first green is pink,” and of course that rhymed with stink… and you get the feel of the rest of the poetry, complete with giggles.

 

But Robert Frost was right; spring can’t hold her new beauty long.

 

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold. 
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour. 
Then leaf subsides to leaf. 
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day. 
Nothing gold can stay.  

 

The world is so infatuated with spring because it represents all we want life to be.  We want to be young and fresh and growing.  We want to be flowering and beautiful.  We want another chance.  We want beauty to come from the hard ground of our lives.  We want endless potential. 

 

But life isn’t like that, is it?  Eden didn’t stay.  It “sank to grief.”  Because of sin, its beauty faded, its gates closed.  I appreciate a poet who, Christian or not, makes accurate observations about life.  But oh, how I hope that Robert Frost heard and believed the gospel before he died. 

Our hearts long for more than a fading flower—they long for eternity, because they were made for eternity. 

 

 

So here’s my little addendum to “Nothing Gold Can Stay.”  Will you permit me Mr. Frost? 

 

          
            …So dawn goes down to day

            Nothing gold can stay.

            Until One free of blame,

            Bled for all our shame;

            Made an end of sin,

            And conquered death within.

            Our Prince reversed the fall,
            And one sweet day will call:
            “Now dawn goes down to dawn,
             And everything gold can stay.”

A Truly Good, Successful Day

By Deb Demi

Editor’s Note:  I came across a blog that Deb Demi did awhile back that we’ve never run so I thought it would be a great to share it this week. 

I have a tendency to be a very task-driven person.  So to me a good day is one in which I get a lot of stuff done and have a lot to show for my effort.  And unfortunately I can measure the success of my day by physical productivity, not necessarily by doing what God values most.

A few months ago while I was shopping in one of my favorite department stores I became aware of an employee in the section that I was shopping in.  She was working very diligently hanging up clothes, rushing here and there to return misplaced items, being very intent on making sure that her department was in tiptop condition.  As she was in the midst of her tasks, a customer approached her to ask a question.  Instead of responding politely, she was very curt and answered in a snarl.  Another customer met a rebuke as she inadvertently returned an item to the wrong spot.  Immediately my judgmental heart began to say, "Doesn't she know that she's here to serve us?  If it weren't for us customers she wouldn't have a job.  Would her employer appreciate her diligent work if they knew how she was treating the customers?"

But almost as quickly as those thoughts entered my head, conviction came rushing in.  Suddenly I saw myself in that woman.  I saw myself at home diligently working at completing my endless lists of tasks.  I was reminded of the way that I snarled at one of my kids who asked me to help them get a drink… how I responded when I walked into a room that was a mess.  The way that I impatiently brushed off my husband's affection because I was in the middle of slicing bread…  How I saw cleaning the refrigerator as more valuable than playing a game with my kids…  Yes, I can be very much like that woman.

There is nothing wrong with me completing tasks and making my home a comfortable environment for my family.  But, when I forget why I am doing these things, I end up doing them for my own satisfaction rather than for my family.  My family becomes an interruption rather than the objects of my affection and I forget the calling that I have received… to love my husband and to love my children. 

Yes, when we put being loving towards our family ahead of checking off everything on our to-do list, we may not get everything done.  But as we trust God by doing what He has called us to do, He will be glorified and our family will feel loved.  And when those things happen, it will be a truly good, successful day.

By Ramona Doyle

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get stuck in a rut?  I’m not talking about making boring meals or getting stuck in daily routines.  I’m talking about the familiar ways we tend to respond to those around us—our kids, our husbands, our friends, our coworkers, or a boss—when we are affected by their actions.  I can do this so easily, especially in my family.  Their same old behavior—what they do or the way they relate to me— often triggers that same old sinful response in my heart.  It happens again and again.  I can easily recognize the pattern, yet somehow, change is often elusive.

When I’m stuck in this kind of a rut, I am finding it helpful to affirm what the Gospel has purchased for me, that because of the Gospel, I am a new creation and the power of sin over me is broken; therefore it is truly possible for me to obey God when I’m confronted by the same old sins.  And because of the Gospel I have the power in Christ to fight and overcome remaining sin that can continue to wage war in my heart.  Because of the Gospel I have access to God through Christ, and Christ dwells in me by his Spirit—what a very present help when I struggle!  These Gospel truths remind me of the completeness and sufficiency of His provision for me.

Often, I find that I am way too comfortable with those same old patterns in my life.  But if I am to change, I must hate my sin.  Making specific confessions of not only my behavior, but also my sinful heart behind that behavior, and reminding myself that it was these very sins that put Jesus on the cross helps me to do this.  I have found it so easy to see my sin, shoot up a quick prayer for forgiveness, and stop there.  But I’ve stopped way too soon.  When I truly grieve over my sin, this is the place where the Cross becomes precious—where my deep need points me to and causes me to hunger for the rescuing grace of Christ and turn to Him in new and deeper ways.

The Bible details a wonderful storehouse of grace available to me each day!  I love to take time during my devotions each day to memorize scripture and meditate on God’s promises and the many ways Christ makes his grace available in my need.  This helps me in those same old kinds of moments to choose God over my sin and live for something bigger than my sinful desires.  I find I am much more familiar with my sin than with how to apply God’s grace in the midst.  But God has promised that his Word does not return to him void (Isaiah 55:11), and as I consistently hide it in my heart, by his grace I am seeing change in areas where I was previously stuck in those same old patterns of sin.  Let’s not be content to live in the same old with such a gracious Savior!

By Trish Donohue

 

You know how there are some topics that are a little untouchable?  We don’t usually chat about these over coffee or call a friend for a quick conversation about them.  It’s a little like my daughter’s reaction when I tried to get a splinter out tonight: “Nooo!  Get away!”

 

Well, I think the big green topic of envy is one of them.  If I’m thinking of things I’m willing to confess to others or even admit to myself, envy is probably on the short list of topics to avoid.   Yet if we are honest, we all battle it in some way at some time.  We can envy others’ appearance, children, intellect, personality, homes, style, talents, even spiritual maturity.  The list of envy temptations is exactly as long as the list of things we want in life. 

 

Fortunately our friends on the Girltalk blog have guts!  They are jumping right into a forthright, gracious, helpful discussion on a topic that gets to the heart of the envy challenge.    

 

They recently asked us this question:

 

Envy (like all sin) robs us of peace.  Think about it: have you ever met an envious person who was content, at ease, and happy?  Have you ever envied and been at peace at the same time?  I doubt it. 

 

No!  I haven’t!  You got me.

 

But how about you?  Do you need a more specific description?  Here’s one from Jonathan Edwards that will dig a little deeper:

 

“[A]n envious disposition is…most uncomfortable and uneasy to its possessor….It is like a powerful eating cancer, preying on the vitals, offensive and full of corruption.  And it is the most foolish kind of self-injury; for the envious make themselves trouble most needlessly, being uncomfortable only because of others’ prosperity, when that prosperity does not injure themselves, or diminish their enjoyments or blessings.  But they are not willing to enjoy what they have, because others are enjoying also.”

 

Those are the symptoms.  If you want the prescription, I encourage you to check out the blog (http://www.girltalkhome.com/) and benefit from the wisdom of God’s Word and others who are walking the genuine Christian walk. 

By Ramona Doyle

I recently had surgery to remove a small mass from a salivary gland and was overjoyed at the news it was benign.  After fasting for surgery, my greatest anticipation during recovery was my return to “real” food.  I quickly found, however, that because of a severe inflammation in the gland I could not eat solid food without excruciating pain radiating on the side of my face.  Yup…ouch!

Shortly after my discharge while in the middle of a bland puréed meal, I found myself crying out to God, “All I want is one simple slice of bread, and I can’t even eat that”.  Not really expecting an answer, I was surprised by that still small voice in my heart as I felt Lord gently respond, “I am the Bread of Life.”  Ever have one of those moments with the Lord where he seems to invade the mundane in a way unmistakably God—this was one of them.  In that moment I realized how much I take certain things for granted: the ability to eat, to comfortably sleep, to come and go as I please.  In the limitations imposed on me by my surgery and the absence of earthly bread (literally!)  I began to realize how very dependent I am on the heavenly bread that comes only from the Lord.  He is the Bread of Life (John 6:35), but in the midst of the distractions of daily life, how easily the need to draw life-giving sustenance from him can be dwarfed by the savory extras of our lives.  The Lord offers us a feast, yet we are often content with leftovers…so easily satisfied with so little.

I have seen how I can relegate my dependence on the Lord to areas where “I” recognize a need and fail to see that I am hopelessly dependent upon him for every breath that I take.  So I pray about problems in parenting, or health issues, of for grace to tackle a difficult relationship, but neglect asking the Lord to invade and provide for every moment of my day.  I am distracted by earthly pursuits—often good things—and because they seem to be a given I walk in self-sufficiency instead of drawing deeply from his abundant storehouse.

The Lord often uses seasons of weakness and need to highlight our deepest need for him— to make us more aware of our Savior than the savory extras of our lives…to make us more aware of our Savior than even our suffering.  We come face to face with our inability to live, have joy, and do anything on our own and in the midst rediscover our true hunger and thirst for him.  Are you desperate for heavenly bread?  Let us seek to be persistent, relentless, and yes, even desperate in our daily pursuit of his presence and sustaining provision for our hearts, souls, and lives.

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4).

By Trish Donohue

Most Christians have had the experience of reading the Bible and suddenly a passage you’ve read a million times goes slow-mo and it seems like you’re reading it for the first time.  It’s like the Holy Spirit is the director yelling, “Hold it!  Slow this part down!  In fact, rewind it for her!  She’s never gotten this part!” 

 

So I’m reading John the other morning (Isn’t John the most frequently read book?  Haven’t I read it a gazillion times?) and this is the scene I come across in chapter 6:

 

Jesus looks up and sees a mob of needy people heading straight for him, and he says to Philip,

 

“Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?” 

 

Philip was probably thinking to himself, “How in the world am I supposed to know?  You’re in charge here!”

 

And just when you’re entering into the panic and worry of the situation, you read the next line, which makes me laugh:

“He said this to test him for he himself knew what he would do.”

 

Of course Jesus knew what he would do.  He wasn’t really wondering.  He wasn’t wringing his hands, figuring out the distance to the nearest Wawa, estimating the size of the crowd.  He might have grinned and watched Philip out of the corner of his eye as he asked the question to see how Philip would respond. 

 

Here’s the paraphrase for my life: 

 

Jesus is walking beside me and looks up and sees a potential problem coming up.

 

“Hey Trish,” he says (maybe with a grin I’m too busy to notice), “What are we gonna do here—this isn’t looking so good.”

 

My typical response is: “I know!  I was thinking that exact same thing Jesus!  Yikes!  It’s all falling apart!  I knew it would!  That plan, that kid, that test, that relationship, that dream—it’s all going down!  Do you mind if I stop for a minute to worry and plan and fret until I figure it out?”

 

I don’t think Jesus says, “Oh, brother,” but I’d understand if he would.  Instead, we know through scripture that he does these things to test us, for he himself knows what he will do.

 

He knows exactly what he will do!  He isn’t confused, overwhelmed, upset, or worried.  He sees the situation clearly, and promises to work all things together for good for those who love him.  And that’s who I get to walk beside.  By God’s grace, I think I’m slowly learning to look over at him when he asks that question, and say, “You know what you’re doing Lord.  You’ll provide all that’s needed.  You always do.”

By Ramona Doyle

One of my sons recently completed a construction project for a school class: a soda straw and paper clip structure that would compete with those of other students to see which one could hold the most weight.  Before he even started the project I had already pointed out almost every potential mistake he might make, including his tendency to become distracted and procrastinate.  He finished his project on time.  He won.  He came home beaming with a $5 prize and I realized I had missed a huge opportunity.  Rather than encouraging his efforts and cheering him on to do his best, I became the prophet of doom.  Well not exactly, but I’m sure my admonitions weren’t very encouraging.

I am becoming increasingly aware of a subtle tendency to root my expectations for my children in things other than the Lord and his all-sufficient Word and work.  How easy it is to do this… we spend each and every day with them.  If we have large families, we’re surrounded!  We can be so acutely aware of past experiences, disappointments and hurts, and their sinful tendencies, as well as limits to our own strength and ability to parent well, and we can allow these things to inform our expectations of them.  When we do this it affects the way we view them, and as a result the way we interact with them.  We can make assumptions, have sinful judgments, self-sufficiently try to do what only God can do in them, and fail to recognize the Lord’s work in their lives and encourage them in it.  This can lead to discouragement on both sides.  And this doesn’t just apply to our children…we can do this with others around us—our husbands, our coworkers, and our close friends.

When we allow our experiences to inform our view of others we are ignoring some wonderful, hope-filled truth from the word of God.  Ephesians 2 reminds us,

“But God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”

The grace that pursued me in the midst of my sin is the same grace that is at work in my children as the Lord pursues them in the midst of their sin.  The grace I know as a child of God is the same grace the Lord lavishes on my children as they come to know him and learn to walk in his ways.  That is real Gospel hope, and clinging to it affects the way I live and the way I encourage.

Let’s daily fix our eyes on the source of our hope that we might live with great expectations.

By Rachel Gonzales

Editor’s note:  This a testimony about how the teaching in a Vital Life class unlocked some very important issues in a woman’s life.

I recently attended the Vital Life class titled Why Me?  A Pastoral Look at Suffering.  I went searching for one answer.  Not so much Why Me?, but simply Why?  Why had my newborn son died?

My husband and I learned half way through our first pregnancy (in 2000) that our baby was very sick with a very rare condition.  We endured test after test and our baby underwent two experimental fetal surgeries while still in the womb.  Finally we were told there was nothing more that could be done medically and that our son would die soon after he was born.  I carried him for another 3 months, praying for a miracle, yet trying to prepare for the worst.

Elijah was born on January 5, 2001.  He lived for one hour and 40 minutes.

The death of our son…well, it’s hard to put the experience into words.

Since that time I have known the closeness of God in ways that are indescribable.  At times, His presence through the grief has been amazing and powerful, almost physical.  I have also allowed grief to take me to lonely dark places.  I have seen my faith shatter into so many pieces that I, completely exhausted, quit trying to pick them all up and simply pretended to have faith instead.  I have looked at some of the darkest corners of grief and felt my Lord pull me to safety.  I have known His beautiful healing and restoration.  I have known the Lord’s love in ways that have left me breathless.  And I can honestly say that God has used Elijah’s death in ways that have allowed me to see His hope and goodness.

And while I know truth and hope for heaven, the question of Why has never been satisfied in my heart.  I have been asking God Why for a long time.  At times I have begged and implored Him to share with me, as a mom grieving over the unthinkable.  At times I have downright demanded He answer me, practically stamping my feet like a young child.  I have wondered at the possible ways God would use Elijah and his story for His glory and been hopeful.  I have been troubled at the dark possibilities of why God allowed Elijah’s life on earth to be so short and seemingly irrelevant.  I have considered that ultimately I probably can’t understand it all anyway, but I’ve still wanted God to try to explain it all to me.  I have always lived thinking that knowing Why would somehow make losing Elijah bearable.  I simply want the death of my infant son to make sense.  I came to the class hoping for the answer I’ve been waiting for, longing for, and searching for.

And God met me.

The first two classes were led by Joseph Stigora.  I thought the first class was great.  It was compassionately taught and biblically pointed to the expectation of suffering while in the world.  I left that class realizing that I was probably not going to get the specific answer I was longing for.  But I came back again the next week.

Joseph’s 2nd lesson outlined suffering as Christians and our Lord’s promises about suffering.  I left that class a bit refreshed and later reflected on the kindness of our Lord to include all this information about suffering in His Word.  I thought I was fairly well acquainted with scripture about suffering, but had never seen the fact that God had said so much in His Word as evidence of His kindness and care.

The final class, led by Rob Flood, was a look at Job.  To be honest, I have often been troubled by this book and some of the things in it.  There are two truths God revealed to me during this teaching.  One is that I would probably not be satisfied with God’s reasons even if He made it all clear and understandable to me.  The answer to one question would lead to another.  I realized that I would probably even suggest other ways God could have accomplished His purposes.  I was also struck by the realization that Job never knew why God had allowed the circumstances of his life, yet he trusted.  I realized that a lack of trust was at the heart of my question.  That realization led me to repentance and God lavished me with freedom.

I shared with my community group last week about this big revelation and that it felt like a weight had been lifted.  My sweet prophetic friend told me that she saw me being released from heavy shackles.  Yes, that is exactly what it was like.

Thank you, sweet Lord, for your beautiful patience.  Thank you for revealing this truth to me and for your forgiveness.  Thank you for growing my trust.  You are forever faithful.  Lord, thank you also for the ministry of the word through classes like Vital Life, where we can encounter life changing truth and learn to live it out in a community of friends.

If you have never experienced the applied truth in Vital Life the next Vital Life will take place from nine to noon on Saturday April 10.

By Ramona Doyle

We buy milk, eggs, and bread before a winter snow storm.  We keep candles in a drawer to be prepared for a power outage.  We stockpile wood all summer to supplement our winter heating costs and provide cozy winter fires.  We have savings for times of emergency.  But in our physical preparations for very real needs, we can sometimes neglect to build an arsenal that will serve us by fueling our hearts with faith during times of trial.  In a time of trial, the physical challenges are hard—no question, but the state of our hearts and souls can make it nothing short of overwhelming.

When I go through a trial, my greatest challenge is the battle to draw peace and security from the Lord.  This is often accompanied by the realization that I have rooted my security and sense of well being in something other than the Lord…usually my own strength and abilities or in my circumstances.  Things have been going well and I feel great.  I think I am prepared for the future, then something happens and I am caught off guard and unprepared.  Circumstances can change, sometimes very quickly, and my own strength is suddenly woefully inadequate.  It actually has been all along, but if I’ve rooted my security there, I will often fail to see it!

I have found that the battle to walk securely in these seasons can be won or lost by where I daily (and minute by minute!) choose to fix my eyes.  Do I spend countless hours looking at my trial and all the ugly possibilities, weighing and sorting them over and over in my mind?  Or, do I set my gaze on the Lord who is the only unchanging source of hope and help who has promised he will never leave or forsake me?  Where I fix my eyes will ultimately fill my heart…either with fear and striving or with confidence and peace during uncertain times.  And my best preparation for times of trial is developing habits now that will serve me then…habits of looking to the Lord and his Word for daily life-giving sustenance.

Prayer and God’s Word are priceless, ageless reservoirs that the Lord has given us to fuel our hearts with faith and fortify our souls with confidence for times of difficulty.  Scripture tells us that as we lift our requests before the Lord—as we place our burdens in his capable hands—we will know an abiding peace that will guard our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7).  And Scripture is filled with promises of the Lord’s care for those he has redeemed.  It is in Scripture that we are reminded, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).  In our frailty and forgetfulness, we need to gather this kind of manna each and every day.

Let us be like the ant who gathers his food in the summer, and store up priceless treasures by daily drawing deeply from the Lord’s limitless storehouse.  What an arsenal is right there for us!

By Cindy Campbell

If you know me, you know I am an avid fan of the blog "Girltalk" by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters.  I love the fact that I can be encouraged, challenged and affected by the Lord in my house while I am working throughout my day.

A while back the girls at Girltalk were talking about the different seasons that we experience as women.  They began with teens and how as teenage women we can use that season of our lives for the glory of the Lord and honoring him.  (You can read those posts by clicking http://girltalk.blogs.com/)  They then turned to the single season that we all experience as ladies.  It was a wonderful reminder of that season of my life 29+ years ago.  In a post dated 2.26.09 Carolyn wrote about single women nurturing children.  I have pondered and thought about her words a lot since then.  Here is a snippet of what she posted:

So, how does a single woman enter into the meaning of motherhood if she doesn’t have children of her own?  How does she express her femininity as life-bearer, as nurturer?  Elisabeth Elliot answered this question: 

“A single woman can have children!  She may be a spiritual mother, as was Amy Carmichael [missionary to orphans in India], by the very offering of her singleness, transformed for the good of far more children than a natural mother may produce.”

Single women, you can express your femininity in this season of your life by nurturing other people’s children.

When you babysit, you are giving expression to your femininity.  When you take an interest and reach out to children in your sphere of relationships, you are displaying your God-given gift of femininity. 

And may I say “thank you” on behalf of all of us mothers!  Thank you for the way you nurture our children.  Thank you for the countless times you have served us through babysitting.  Thank you for the way you have loved our children as if they were your very own.  It means so much to us!

However, you are doing more than just blessing us; you are honoring God by giving expression to the nurturing aspect of your femininity

As I ponder this I thought it would be fitting that as the moms of CFC that we thank all the single women (and men!) in our midst who have served us, and nurtured our children.  Thank you for the Godly example that you set before our little ones.  Thank you for living a life that honors the Savior and that we can point you out to our children as some one to follow as you follow the Lord.  Thank you for the creative ways you bring life and laughter into our children’s lives.  Thank you more than we could EVER express for loving our children and for allowing us to attend meetings or go on dates!!  Truly you are some of the greatest servants we know and you are great in our hearts and in the eyes of the Lord.  It is a privilege to be a part of the “Family of God “along side of you!

By Ramona Doyle

Did you know that the Lord wants us to have joy?  In fact, he specifically addressed his disciples on this very topic!  OK…cool.  But how does that relate to my Monday mornings and my sleepless nights, or the stacks of unfolded laundry in the hall?  How does Sunday morning translate into my busy week?  How do I find joy in the trenches of my life?

In the Gospel of John, shortly before his betrayal and arrest, Jesus gathers his disciples and spends some significant time teaching them on a variety of topics.  It is as if he wants to make sure they really get the important stuff before he goes to the cross.  He’s preparing them to stand strong and draw from him in the midst of a chaotic world that opposes everything they hold dear.  And joy is one of his themes!  “These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).  Jesus not only wanted them to have joy, but to have it in fullness!  And he wasn’t just talking about that wonderful day when we will rest in his arms free from sin and suffering; he was talking about the trenches—the everyday stuff of their lives.

So this begs the question, what things did he speak to the disciples that they might find joy?  I love to ask these kinds of questions when I dig into God’s word.  Notice that his comment follows that well-known passage from John 15 on abiding in the vine—walking in close relationship with the Lord by responding to his lavish love with trust and obedience to his commandments.  Jesus promises this is the key to knowing joy in the every day.

Abiding.  I don’t know about you, but I can be pretty good at abiding in myself.  Think about it…you get up in the morning and walk to the bathroom mirror, and what do you see?  OK, don’t answer that.  Then you go downstairs and what is the first thing you see?  If you’re like me, it’s often everything you didn’t get done the day before.  Everything screams for your attention.  Your kids need you.  You get wrapped up in the duties of the day and by the end of the day you’re treading water waiting for a life-preserver to float by.

Yes, we need a devotional time each day to draw strength from the Lord’s abundant grace.  But abiding is also about the nitty-gritty of the day.  I find that I am helped in the trenches by small minute by minute choices look past what my physical eyes see and remember some priceless truths about my day…things like: this day has already been recorded in the Lord’s book (Psalm 139:16), that God is with me and acquainted with this circumstance (Psalm 139:1-3), that he will be strength in my weakness (2 Corinthians 4:7), and guide me in the midst (Psalm 73:23-24).  Then I choose to trust him over my temptation to pout, react, or operate in self-sufficiency.

We won’t always get it right, but as we seek to abide in those little minutes, he promises joy.  May the Lord help us to say with the psalmist, “For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for Joy” (Psalm 92:4).

By Trish Donohue

 

Here’s a riddle for you—complete with my own best guesses…

 

What revives the soul,  (strong coffee?)

Makes simple people wise,  (Cliff Notes?)

Makes your heart rejoice,  (a big tax return?)

Enlightens you,  (People magazine?)

Endures forever,  (a bad haircut?)

Is more desirable than gold,  (a cleaning lady?)

Is sweeter than honey,  (boardwalk fudge?)

Offers great reward? (Botox ads?)

 

I was reading Psalms in my quiet time the other day, and I came across this exact riddle in Psalm 19.  As I read it, my eyes opened wider and my grogginess wore off.  I was thinking, “Hey, I need all this stuff!”  My soul needs to be revived, I need wisdom desperately, my heart needs to rejoice, I need to be enlightened, and I definitely want great reward.  This is quite a sales pitch.  And since I found it in the Bible and not in a magazine, it’s got to be true!

 

So are you ready?  The answer is God’s Word.  But now that you know the answer, do you feel a hint of disappointment?  Are you thinking, “Oh, it’s a spiritual answer—there really isn’t anything real and practical that accomplishes all of that.  Bummer.”

 

Those are your idols talking (well actually, they’re mine, but you probably have some of your own.)  They’re jealous because they want you to look to them for relief and refreshment.  They like to make the bold promises. “You want refreshment?” they ask.  “Watch me.” “Buy me.”  “Seek me.”  “Lust after me.”  “Trust in me.” 

 

They’re all liars though.  And as God helps us grow in our faith, we’re getting smarter, and we can read Psalm 19 and believe it. 

 

What will revive my soul?  The perfect law of the Lord!

What will make my simple mind wise?  The sure testimony of the Lord!

What will make my heart rejoice?  The right precepts of the Lord!

What will enlighten my eyes?  The pure commandment of the Lord!

 

In other words, God speaks truth, through scripture, into our lied-to hearts.  He’s given us pages full of perfection, straight from his holy, brilliant, clever, creative, sovereign, understanding, amazing mind. And those words and their results bring all that we desire: refreshment, wisdom, rejoicing, enlightenment, righteousness, sweetness, reward!  What a promise!  What a deal!  And no member fees!

 

Our creator knows us so much better than we know ourselves.  Lord, open our eyes to see that your word is “more to be desired…than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.”

Editor’s Note:  This is a blog from Janis Shank, wife of Sovereign Grace pastor Steve Shank.  It’s a wonderful introduction to an unsung hero of the faith. 

 

By Janis Shank

I love biographies!  There is something powerful about reading the entirety of a person’s life journey that inspires faith toward God while I am still living mine.  Most recently, I have been deeply affected by the life of John Calvin, who was born 500 years ago July 10.  Many worldwide tributes devoted to his remembrance and the impact he made on church history are occurring this year.  John Piper explains how we honor God through appreciating Calvin in particular:

"I am eager for people to know Calvin...because he took the Bible so seriously, and because what he saw on every page was the majesty of God and the glory of Christ.  Calvin continues to inspire me because of his relentless focus on the greatness of God....

In the end, Calvin’s manifold ways of inspiring us have the effect they do century after century because he saw the gospel so clearly and made Christ so central....

If Jesus Christ, in all his majesty and excellence, is kept in clear view, the church will be kept from many errors.  Therefore, Calvin continues to inspire and serve the church five hundred years after his birth....  " (Taken from Desiring God blog)

We thought we would honor John Calvin indirectly by taking a peek at his dear wife, Idelette.  She, like us, was married to a pastor, called to be a helper to a man devoted to the service of God and His people.  What can we learn from this “older woman” of the faith?

Idelette lived from 1510 to 1549.  We are introduced to her when she and her first husband converted to the Reformed faith from being Anabaptist, and along with their two children joined John Calvin’s church in Strasbourg, Germany.  In the spring of 1540 Idelette’s husband died of the plague.  Surprisingly, by August 6 of the same year, she married John Calvin, the pastor who conducted her husband’s funeral.  Calvin’s ideal in a wife is revealed in his words to a friend: “But always keep in mind what I seek to find in her; for I am none of those insane lovers who embrace also the vices of those with whom they are in love, where they are smitten at first sight with a fine figure.  This only is the beauty which allures me, if she is chaste, if not too fussy or fastidious, if economical, if patient, if there is hope that she will be interested about my health.”  John found this ideal in Idelette as their brief and devoted union proved.

After six months of marriage, John and Idelette moved to Geneva, Switzerland where her husband assumed his new duties serving the Savior whom he so deeply loved.  They kept a lively home, offering hospitality to many and it was said of Idelette, “Your hospitality in the name of Christ is not unknown to anybody in Europe.”  She certainly assisted her husband’s ministry by keeping an open heart and an open home, often helping the poor and devoting herself to deeds of charity.

During the next few years Idelette had two miscarriages and gave birth to precious son, Jacques, who lived only two weeks.  Deeply weakened and ill from his birth, she took comfort in God and in the words of her husband, “The Lord has certainly inflicted a severe and bitter wound in the death of our infant son.  But He is Himself a father, and knows what is good for his children.”

Their marriage didn’t last long by today’s standards, and in 1549, after only nine years, Idelette finally succumbed to the illness that plagued her most of her life.  John was at her bedside when she died and heard her triumphantly exclaim, "O glorious resurrection!  O God of Abraham and of all our fathers, the believers of all the ages have trusted on Thee and none of them have hoped in vain.  And now I fix my hope on Thee.”  She certainly was a true companion to her husband and shared his deep conviction in the sovereign love and grace of God.  Her very last words proclaim God’s greatness and her trust in Him!

John Calvin’s grief was profound, and his words reveal the depth of his love for his wife, “I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, who, if our lot had been harsher, would have been not only the willing sharer of exile and poverty, but even of death.  While she lived she was the faithful helper of my ministry.  From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance.”

What can we learn from Idelette’s brief journey while we are still living ours?  Here are a few take-a-ways for our encouragement.

1. She loved the Savior and served Him by loving her husband, children and God’s people entrusted to their care, often through hospitality and deeds of love.  She devoted herself to the advancement of the gospel in her lifetime.  We have the same calling and privilege.

2. She endured loss and physical suffering by trusting in the sovereignty of God.  Though we live in an age of modern medicine and many modern conveniences, we too suffer in various ways and can find our comfort in the same Sovereign Love.

3. She was a “faithful helper” of her husband’s ministry and “the best companion” of his life.  There is something so inspiring about this simple yet profound commendation by her husband.  By God’s grace, I can do this day by day; faithfully helping and seeking to be my husband’s best companion. 

4. She maintained a robust hope in God, even at her death.  By God’s grace, may we be ever growing stronger in this hope, now in life and all the way to our dying breath.

As you enter a new week, I pray you are inspired and encouraged by this ancient pastor’s wife to trust and serve our Savior.  May God give us grace to live in such a gospel advancing way as to leave a legacy for those who will follow after us, just like our friend Idelette.

By Trish Donohue

Happy Tuesday morning ladies!  We’re virtually together here on the blog each week, but how fun to be together in spirit and body this past Saturday morning at the women’s meeting.  We got to spill our coffee on real people instead of just on our keyboards! 

The meeting was great for a variety of reasons: a lobby full of happy conversations and pastry munching, the honoring of two inspirational lives, biblical teaching, and a time of Q and A.  And notably, no sports illustrations!

As a confirmed couch potato, I’m rarely grieving the lack of sports analogies, and yet one came to mind on Saturday: I’ve been on the sidelines a lot, waiting for games to start or just cheering people on.  I’m comfortable there, and yet I’m aware that the action and excitement and victory and progress happen on the field.  How I wish I was gifted to be down there!

Many of us feel like we have been sitting on the bleachers eating our concessions, waiting for the action of women’s ministry to begin.  Once in a while a meeting is planned, and we look forward to the energy and excitement it brings, but there really doesn’t seem to be much action on the field.  What can we do though?  We’re not leading the church or setting the strategy.  We’ll just try to wait patiently.

But on Saturday morning I realized I’m not on the bleachers.  My popcorn got knocked out of my hand and I found that I’m actually, shockingly, down on the field.  The Bible says that women’s ministry is not a spectator sport where we wait for a gifted woman to rise up and lead the charge or a program to be presented.  It’s a lifestyle where we’re all seeking to disciple and encourage and minister to one another.  As we move forward, we look for older women to learn from and younger women to encourage along the way.  The field is alive with action, conversation, service, encouragement, help, and love.

Jared’s message not only got us off the bleachers, but outlined the rules for play.  The “Six Biblical Essentials of a Women's Ministry from Titus 2” are simple, clear, and solidly scriptural:

• Our women's ministry must be rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• Our women's ministry must be the responsibility of the elders of the church.
• Our women's ministry must mobilize older women to train younger women.
• Our women's ministry must be a lifestyle.
• Our women's ministry must focus on biblical womanhood.
• Our women's ministry must be a part of our plan to advance the gospel.

The practical and simple nature of the “discipleship mandate” that scripture presents ensures that no one is sitting on the sidelines; and if they are, we should pull them down to the field quick—we need them!  Elizabeth Elliot shows us just how practical these opportunities for women’s ministry are:

“It is doubtful that the Apostle Paul had in mind Bible classes or seminars or books when he spoke of teaching younger women.  He meant the simple things, the everyday example, the willingness to take time from one’s own concerns to pray with the anxious mother, to walk with her the way of the cross—with its tremendous demands of patience, selflessness, loving-kindness—and to show her, in the ordinariness of Monday through Saturday, how to keep a quiet heart. 

These lessons will come perhaps most convincingly through rocking a baby, doing some mending, cooking a supper, or cleaning a refrigerator.  Through such an example, one young woman—single or married, Christian or not—may glimpse the mystery of charity and the glory of womanhood.”

Elizabeth chose the example of the anxious mother, but there are countless other discipleship opportunities around us as well.  As we clean someone’s house, care for an elderly aunt, encourage a struggling friend, pray for a community group member, or invite a younger woman over for lunch, we are following God’s direction for us as women, and we can be sure that He will produce lasting fruit as a result.

At the close of some meetings, we are looking down at a list of things we need to do.  At the close of this meeting, we were looking around at a room full of women who’ve already been organizing and participating in some powerful women’s ministry, without even planning it!  It ended up that the message wasn’t a redirection at all, but a cheer from the sidelines encouraging us to keep going with renewed purpose and zeal for the sake of the gospel itself. 

And though we’ll always enjoy meetings, nothing can top the opportunity to play the game everyday!

By Ramona Doyle

 

Ever notice how easily the definition of “Mom, we’re out of food!” can change from person to person in your family?  Seemingly for each one, if a certain grocery item is absent then the pantry must be bare and starvation must be just around the corner.  For one child it’s OJ (it’s just not breakfast without OJ!) and for another it’s E. L. Fudge cookies.  I’ve even got one for which it is fresh broccoli—a rare breed, but don’t you love it!  My husband and I often chuckle at the comments we get over the “food thing” in our home, and balancing the wants, desires, needs, and grocery budget for our family can pose some interesting challenges.

 

But differences in personal grocery lists point to something more significant.  All of our children are different.  Their personalities differ.  Their strengths and weaknesses differ.  Their hopes and aspirations differ.  They each attach differing meanings to the situations of their lives.  Parenting in the midst of these differences can be daunting.  Competing desires and interests in our children can easily tempt us to parent on the fly—to satisfy the urgent needs of the moment and forget about the important.

 

Bill and I have seen the need for great caution as we seek to guide and direct our children’s hearts.  We want their lives—every part of them—to be informed and transformed by the power of the Gospel.  And so we need to visit and revisit our parenting standards often.  Without guiding principles in our parenting, we could easily miss instilling some of the most important and basic lessons and values our children need.

 

These are some of the considerations my husband and I hold foremost.  No matter what differing goals we have for each child in a given season, these standards inform them all:

 

1. Keep the Gospel first:  Every day affords new opportunities to highlight the wonder of God’s saving love for us in Christ.  Only in the Gospel will our children find salvation and power for true change.  Our kids need to hear it daily if they are to grow to define their lives by it.

 

2. Emphasize character:  Our children can easily be distracted by the latest cultural fads—things like clothing styles, music preferences, past-times, and patterns of communication.  They must know that character is ALWAYS more important than being cool.  And Godly character will inform and define their choices in this area as they grow in their love for the Lord and knowledge of his word.

 

3. Never let them doubt our love:  How easily we can be tempted to anger when dealing with our children’s hearts.  We want our children to be more aware of our love for them than our dissatisfaction over the state of their hearts.  Their first introduction to the Lord’s extravagant love for us is through our expression of love for them.  If our children are not aware of our affection, we may be missing something big!

God’s word is powerful (2 Timothy 3:16), and as we allow it to define our parenting, we can trust in his faithful work in the hearts of our children.

By Ramona Doyle

Editor’s Note:  As we turn our attention to the new year the temptation is to focus on fresh starts, immediate change, new goals, great plans.  But this vision, if done simply because the calendar has turned, won’t produce sustainable change, and can become a great burden in a short amount of time.  Ramona’s blog below is a great reminder where to place our focus when we face the new seasons of life.    

I don’t like to wait. Recently, while in a crowded office waiting for a doctor’s appointment, I began to half-heartedly read to my children. As I read, my thoughts drifted to everything I wasn’t getting done because I had to wait. But one of my children, noting the back-up in appointments, commented, “Gee, Mom, isn’t it great we get all this extra time to read together?”

What a different perspective! In reflecting on my attitude I realized how much time I can spend waiting impatiently for a different set of circumstances. I can do it in the day to day moments of my life, like in that crowded doctor’s office, or in the seasons of my life. I remember being a student longing for the day there were no more studies and exams. “Everything will be better then,” I reasoned. Sound familiar? We can do this in so many ways—we long for a trial to end, or for a husband, or for the time we can quit work and stay home with children, or for the day our tots are no longer in diapers, or for an end to the difficult teen years.

There is nothing wrong with God-soaked, faith-filled anticipation for what the Lord will do in the various seasons of our lives, but how often do we respond impatiently to a season of waiting and, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, run off chasing rainbows. We long for a different set of circumstances instead of appropriating what the Lord has for us here and now. And we can so easily miss out on the wonderful blessings, the lessons, and good works that the Lord has prepared for this day or season of our lives. The psalmist declared with confidence, “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:5-6) He was content in his season and circumstances because of his abiding trust in the Lord’s care and purposes in the midst. He trusted in the Lord’s unfailing mercies, unchanging goodness, and ever-sustaining grace and found contentment where the Lord had placed him.

It helps me to remember that contentment is both a matter of faith and a posturing of my heart. We can grow in contentment: We can daily feed our hearts and minds with the Word of God and allow his precious promises to fuel our faith with truth—that He is with us and active in every season and circumstance of our lives. We can pray for eyes to recognize the Lord’s activity in our daily circumstances. And we can practice thankfulness for the many blessings the Lord has provided in the midst of our circumstances; a thankful heart seldom grumbles.

The psalmist said it so well, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

By Trish Donohue

Do you ever wonder how other Christians embark on their Bible reading each morning?  Do they have special tricks?  Are their Bibles magically highlighting amazing truths which jump off the pages at them?  Do they spring nimbly from their beds in anticipation?  Does soft music begin to play as they crack open the well-worn pages?

Just for the record, I don’t have any tricks.  But I know what John Piper does.  (I recently needed some inspiration for my quiet times and perused his website.)  Every morning before he looks into God’s Word he prays the words of Psalm 119:18 which say, “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.”

It’s not a gimmick or a trick; it’s just echoing the psalmist’s inspired prayer and asking for divine help.  And I’ve started to do it myself.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Why?  Because like Dr. Piper, I find that my spiritual eyes are shut in the morning.  They don’t see wonderful things in God’s law by themselves.  They see interesting stories or familiar passages or lots of tiny letters that morph into a cloud of sleepiness.  They see a legalistic checkmark on the “quiet time” slot or a grocery list or a catalog of worries that are elbowing their way into my time in the Word.  I need God to miraculously touch me if I’m going to see through my sleepy spiritual eyes.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

And He does.  It’s really amazing the way God answers our prayers, and ridiculous that we don’t pray more.  In the short time since I’ve begun my quiet times with this prayer, not as a mantra but as a heartfelt request, God has spoken to me clearly through his Word, pretty much every time.

I still don’t spring out of bed, I kind of roll out in a coma-like state.  But heavy eyelids are no match for the power of God, and I reach with faith for that big leather book.  There are words of wonder in there, and God’s going to show them to me!

By Andy Farmer

As we look ahead to the Christmas here is a nice blog for your holiday thoughts on the whole Santa thing, written by Noel Piper at Desiring God.  You can access the blog directly at Thinking About Santa

Thinking About Santa

Over the years, we have chosen not to include Santa Claus in our Christmas stories and decorations.  There are several reasons.

First, fairy tales are fun and we enjoy them, but we don’t ask our children to believe them.

Second, we want our children to understand God as fully as they’re able at whatever age they are.  So we try to avoid anything that would delay or distort that understanding.  It seems to us that celebrating with a mixture of Santa and manger will postpone a child’s clear understanding of what the real truth of God is.  It’s very difficult for a young child to pick through a marble cake of part-truth and part-imagination to find the crumbs of reality.

Third, we think about how confusing it must be to a straight-thinking, uncritically-minded preschooler because Santa is so

much like what we’re trying all year to teach our children about God.  Look, for example, at the “attributes” of Santa.

He’s omniscient—he sees everything you do.
He rewards you if you’re good.
He’s omnipresent—at least, he can be everywhere in one night.
He gives you good gifts.
He’s the most famous “old man in the sky” figure.

But at the deeper level that young children haven’t reached yet in their
understanding, he is not like God at all.

For example, does Santa really care if we’re bad or good?  Think of the most awful kid you can remember.  Did he or she ever not get gifts from Santa?

What about Santa’s spying and then rewarding you if you’re good enough?  That’s not the way God operates.  He gave us his gift—his Son—even though we weren’t good at all.  “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).  He gave his gift to us to make us good, not because we had proved ourselves good enough.

Helping our children understand God as much as they’re able at whatever age they are is our primary goal.  But we’ve also seen some other encouraging effects of not including Santa in our celebration.

First, I think children are glad to realize that their parents, who live with them all year and know all the worst things about them, still show their love at Christmas.  Isn’t that more significant than a funny, old, make-believe man who drops in just once a year?

Second, I think most children know their family’s usual giving patterns for birthday and special events.  They tend to have an instinct about their family’s typical spending levels and abilities.  Knowing that their Christmas gifts come from the people they love, rather than from a bottomless sack, can help diminish the “I-want-this, give-me-that” syndrome.

And finally, when children know that God’s generosity is reflected by God’s people, it tends to encourage a sense of responsibility about helping make Christmas good for others.

Karsten, for example, worked hard on one gift in 1975.  On that Christmas morning, his daddy stepped around a large, loose-flapped cardboard box to get to his chair at the breakfast table.  “Where’s Karsten?” he asked, expecting to see our excited three-year-old raring to leap into the day.  Sitting down, I said, “He’ll be here in a minute.”

I nudged the box with my toe.  From inside the carton, Karsten threw back the flaps and sprang to his full three-foot stature.  “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them . . .” He had memorized Luke 2:8-20 as a gift for his dad.  Karsten knew the real story.

In fact, a few days later, he and I were walking down the hall at the church we attended then.  One of the older ladies leaned down to squeeze his pink, round cheek and asked, “What did Santa bring you?”  Karsten’s head jerked quickly toward me, and he whispered loudly, “Doesn’t she know?”

(Adapted from Treasuring God in Our Traditions)

By Ramona Doyle

 

Our family lived in inner city Philadelphia for many years before moving to West Chester, a very different setting from the suburban—bordering on rural—area where we now live.  By necessity, we shared our lives with other Christian families who lived close by.  Parking was always at a premium, so we carpooled to church events and even shared trips to the supermarket.  It was hardly worth the purchase of a lawn mower to clip our postage stamp yard, so we shared our yard equipment: one family owned the mower, another, the weed-whacker, and another, the fertilizer spreader.  When I walked to the neighborhood store, I took a friend for safety reasons.  For lack of safe parks and big yards, we organized play groups so that our children could play safely in one another’s homes.  If I couldn’t find a parking place in front of our house late at night, I would park in front of a friend’s house and they would walk me home.  Because many of us owned homes with 3^rd floor apartments, we often shared weekly meals with the Christian singles or families who rented them.

 

Though we had a vision for Christian community it was often the practicalities of living in the city that brought us together.  But time spent serving one another in shared need fostered a desire to share our lives all the more!  And as a result, our relationships were significantly deepened, the hope of the Gospel burned deeply and in our hearts, and our witness in our neighborhood was strong.

 

Our circumstances are different now: we need a car for almost everything.  There is ample parking everywhere and I can safely park in my own driveway anytime.  Without our own yard equipment we’d be living in the equivalent of the Amazon Rain Forest!  The culture around us screams self-sufficiency and individualism.  As a result, we don’t always feel the need to share our lives as much as we did in the city, but the need, from a biblical standpoint, is every bit as real.  So my husband and I have realized that we have to plan to make community happen.  It’s not always the most convenient choice, but it always pays wonderful dividends.

 

We’ve been greatly strengthened and encouraged by biblical fellowship from regularly sharing meals with our Christian brothers and sisters.  As I’ve worked to mortify the pride that whispers that my home needs to be perfect to have someone over, we’ve been able take advantage of spontaneous opportunities for hospitality.  We’ve never been turned down when we’ve offered to pick up friends to drive together to a meeting.  We’re trying to use 5^th Tuesdays when community groups do not meet as opportunities to spend time with folks from the group, and if a meeting is canceled, we try to fill the evening with hospitality.  Sundays are great days to invite guests!  We also look for ways to involve unbelieving friends or coworkers in some of the things we do.  And as we spend time with folks, we become more aware of needs and opportunities to serve them.

 

As we’ve poured over our calendar and set aside time for people, it is our prayer that this is increasingly our experience, “…And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”  Acts 2:45-47.

By Gina Flood

 

I love preparing for the Christmas season.  I love watching the same movies with family every year, pouring over cookbooks to glean ideas for tasty treats to share, decorating the house with homey yuletide comfort, driving the neighborhoods gazing at Christmas lights with yummy mugs of hot chocolate, visiting a live nativity, and celebrating the birth of the Savior with family and friends.

 

I don’t usually think about the Christmas season as an opportunity to grow, more just to enjoy and then to survive.  But the Lord taught me a great lesson last year that I’m looking forward to practicing this year. 

 

As I was planning the annual Christmas cookie bake-a-thon last year, I thought I was wisely considering my current season of life – 4 young children, home school, pregnancy, busy schedule, and so on.  So…in my wisdom, I thought making 10 different types of cookies was conservative.  After all, my truly wonderful mother-in-law makes 27 different kinds at Christmas and I feel almost certain that the amazing women in this church are able to make at least 15 different cookies, home school their children, make all new decorations from home-grown ingredients, host 3 parties, keep their home sparkling clean, build a new shed, and potty train their child all at the same time and without sinning.  Hmmm…that’s my wisdom.

 

Now, my husband, who has carefully studied his wife for many years, wisely asked, “So, how many kinds of cookies you planning to make, hon?”  I replied full of self-glorifying false humility, “Only 10.”  Can you just hear my wonderfully humble tone?  Oh, yuck!  Well, the negotiations began.  Rob lovingly reminded me that I am in a “One-thing Season”.  Adding more than what God has called me to do, especially when it is for my glory, was not going to bless anyone with the love of Christ in that season and most likely was going to add tension to our home and my face.

 

When all was said and done, I was to make only one more cookie (I had already made 2 kinds) and I had a heart full of thanks for a godly husband who sees my limitations better than me and cares for me abundantly.

 

I am thankful for my One-thing Season.  I love being a wife, mother, homemaker, home school mom, and member of this incredible church!  I would not want anything else.  Yet I can so easily be swept into the cares of this world - comparing my productivity to others, and striving to make myself look wonderful.  I can “temporarily” set aside what God has asked me to do in favor of what I want to do.  I can easily be tempted to trade my God-given One-thing Season for a three ring circus for the sake of my own vainglory.

 

I am looking forward to revisiting my One-thing Seasonal frame of mind this year, remembering God’s kindness, mercy, and grace and allowing that to inform my choices for each day.  I am truly and joyfully thankful for this One-thing Season and my desire is to glorify God in it – every day.

 

May God give us the grace to embrace our One-thing Seasons with undivided hearts and unwavering confidence that we are exactly where our sweet Savior wants us to be.  To God be the glory.

By Ramona Doyle

I love encouragement. I’m sure you do, too. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t love encouragement. When I am specifically encouraged by a friend, I find my burdens lightened, my hope brightened, and my heart motivated in the area in which I’ve been encouraged. This is not surprising; Proverbs 25:11 tells us, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Encouraging words are like salve for our souls.

As much as I love to be encouraged, however, I find that I don’t regularly give what I delight to receive. My husband needs encouragement, too. He labors long hours to provide for our family, he carries the mantel of leading our family, and he cares for our hearts and souls. He bears much responsibility and wears so many hats…husband, daddy, co-worker, friend, fellow-servant, wiper of tears, and fixer of everything broken.

The Lord calls us to excel in this wonderful task, and so be used by him as he accomplishes his ongoing Gospel work in our lives: “For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11) So let us encourage!

Here are some suggestions…

~   Abide in the Lord and daily drink deeply of His love:  I find that when I have basked in the Lord’s ever-faithful, extravagant love, my heart becomes full and expressing loving encouragements to my husband flows much more naturally. I am also less likely to try to draw from him what only the Lord can supply.

~   Pray for your husband:  Lift his burdens before the Lord. If you don’t know his burdens…draw him out. You will be surprised at how simply doing so will encourage him and knit your hearts together. Add prayer to that, and you’ve lifted his needs into very capable hands.

~   Thank the Lord for your husband:  Think of the ways your husband serves you and your family…of the ways he is a blessing in your life. Be specific. Thankful hearts easily encourage and seldom grumble and complain. Don’t forget to let him know specific ways that you are thankful for him.

~   Purpose each day to point out where you see the Lord at work in his life.  Ask the Lord to give you eyes to see even the little things. God is at work; encouraging this in specific ways will lift your husband’s soul.

~   Point your husband to the Lord:  When he is discouraged, encourage his heart with promises from Scripture. God’s Word is powerful and the Lord delights to work through it.

Let’s make encouraging our husbands a daily habit… the Lord is glorified, his work in our husbands, our lives, and our marriages is furthered, and we reap the fruit of deepening trust, joy, and passion in our relationships.

By Gina Flood

 

As much as I enjoy being a mother, without daily sustenance and supply from Christ, my children would dwell with a scowling, self-absorbed, selfish mommy whose main goals were immediate peace and ceaseless comfort using the chief means of convenience and behavior modification to reach those goals. How merciful is our God, that He does not deal with us in such ways!

 

His lovingkindness is everlasting! He is longsuffering! He is abundantly more interested in changing our hearts than He is in changing our behavior. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” [emphasis added] Whatever has residency in my heart determines what springs forth.

 

As God continues to conform and transform my heart, He seem to have revealed five areas for mothers to concentrate on. 

 

1. The Heart of a Mother Loves Jesus Christ

 

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:8-9)

 

In the midst of the hectic busyness of a mother’s life, we are reminded that we are to be filled with “inexpressible and glorious joy.” Why? Because we are “receiving the goal of [my] faith, the salvation of [my] soul.” Our every day is to be characterized by joy in Him!

 

Are we grumbling, annoyed, frustrated, harried? If we are, it’s because we’re not focused on loving the One who saved us. Most likely, we’re focused on ourselves. How much easier, by the grace of God, it is to be filled with glorious joy inexpressible when I am dwelling on what I am already receiving – the goal of my faith – salvation!

 

2. The Heart of a Mother Loves Her Husband

 

Does your heart leap when your husband enters the room? Again, in the business of daily life, I can easily forget to focus my heart’s full attention on my blessed gift – my husband. I happily greet him with a pleasant salutation, hug and kiss because I am, indeed, very glad to see him…but that’s not a leap. I wanted a leaping heart, so I went to my Father for wisdom.

 

His answer came from His Word in Ephesians 5:33. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  I need to be dwelling on respecting the blessing God has given me in my husband and allow that gratitude to spill forth from my mouth in praise and thanksgiving for all to hear: my husband, my children, and others. And I must choose to be intentional in doing this daily.

 

These are just two of the five areas where we can be protected from mothering in our own strength, apart from the daily sustenance from Christ.  Tomorrow will bring the remaining three.  In the meantime, may we all be constantly aware that our call to motherhood comes from a loving God, whose power has been made available to us for the task.  He will never leave us nor forsake us…not even in motherhood.

By Christina Roth

This past September, Bill and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary.  It made me think of that amazing day when we were joined in our marriage covenant.  As the pastor spoke he held up a piece of rope.  “A rope with three strands is not easily broken,” he said pulling on the rope.  Those three strands, he told us, represent Bill, me and the Lord.  This wisdom we will carry with us as long as we live.

However, lately I needed to be reminded of our three strand marriage once again.  The Lord has graciously revealed a trend going on in my life.  I increasingly found myself making decisions on my own, without even speaking to Bill about it.  Recent examples include volunteering Bill to coach my daughter’s soccer team, scheduling various parties to attend, and inviting people over to our home.  When I make these decisions they all seem reasonable, even honoring to God.  The soccer team provides a great outreach opportunity, parties always provide wonderful fellowship with other women, and the Bible is very clear about the importance of hospitality…right?  Well, not so fast.  Each of those choices led into conflict with my husband and consequences that showed me these choices were in fact not as reasonable or God honoring as I thought.

In conversations with Bill I began to realize that I was acting as a single strand, weak and ready to break at any moment.  By not consulting Bill on these decisions, I was not considering him and the wonderful role he has as my husband, my leader, my protector.  I was acting alone, not accessing the wisdom and care that my husband often provides.  Even though we may have ended up doing the very same things that I planned, the process of making decisions alone deprived us an opportunity to seek the Lord together on important priorities in our lives.  As we resolved the conflict, Bill helped me see our three strand marriage vision, the same morning that my faithful Lord reminded me of it in His Word.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!  Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?  And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him- a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  (Ecc. 4:9-12)

By Ramona Doyle

Establishing a devotional habit…

If you are like me, it can sometimes feel like we live in Romans 7, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”  (Verses 19-20)  These verses provide all the more evidence that we need the Lord!  But, sadly, they can also describe the experience we have as we seek to set aside time to daily meet with him.

Though it can sometimes seem like our greatest daily challenge, establishing a fruitful devotional life is critical for the spiritual food and drink we need each day to live and walk in the hope of the Gospel.  You probably have many strategies that have helped you through the years …these are a few that have worked for me.

1.     Assume that God is for you: Don’t let condemnation over past failures keep you from meeting with him.  In Romans 8:1 Paul informs us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  He fulfilled God’s righteous law and now dwells within us that we might walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit, desiring the things of God.  And he promises help in our weakness (Romans 8:26)!

2.     Plan for success:  I find it helpful to develop habits that support my desire to have time with the Lord.  When I needed to supervise very young children, it worked better for me to get up before them in the morning—hence, an earlier bedtime at night.  In seasons of distraction, making a list of pressing needs before meeting with the Lord can help get them “off your mind” during your quiet time.  It also provides a wonderful list to guide your prayers to draw help from the Lord!

3.     Find a quiet place:  If everyone in your house has to walk through your chosen room on the way to the bathroom or kitchen, it’s probably not a great choice of locations.  Find a spot that will minimize interruptions and serve you as you seek to meet with the Lord…a basement room?  An unused guest room?

4.     Train your children to respect your time:  What a wonderful opportunity for your children to learn god-centered priorities as they see how important time with the Lord is to Mom.  Perhaps the children can practice piano, do their chores, or have a quiet play time while you steal away.  Explain the difference between an acceptable interruption and an unnecessary one and enlist their help to make your time successful!

5.     Have a plan B:  Life happens!  Days can be unpredictable.  If something interferes with your plans, try to grab the next available time…perhaps a nap time or during “daddy time” in the evening.  Even 10 minutes is better than no time at all!

Remember that the Lord is even more eager to meet with us than we with him.  We can count on his grace as we seek to establish a devotional habit!

By Ramona Doyle

Most of us would never think of baking a cake without a recipe. Nor would our husbands tackle a major building project without a blueprint. Yet we are often comfortable with a haphazard approach to the most important area of our lives—our daily walk with the Lord.  Without the right motivation and a plan in place, our devotional times can easily fall victim to the daily stuff of our lives...a busy day, a late night, an unexpected interruption.

Scripture tells us we are like jars of clay—frail and weak. Let’s face it, we are a needy bunch; but that is not a bad thing. God intentionally made us this way in order to show us our need of him (2 Corinthians 4:7). We simply don’t have what we need in ourselves to live in the hope of the gospel each day. We need grace daily. We need strength daily. We need the gospel daily. And that is why we need a daily quiet time.

I find that how I think about my daily devotions is an important factor in my faithfulness to them. When I think of my quiet time as something I need to “get done with,” it takes its place among the other items on my to-do list that need to be checked off. I may get to it, I may not. When I don’t, it can become like a monkey on my back…I know I should “do it” but my guilt can make it harder for me to make the time.  I find it more helpful to think of my daily devotions not as an end in themselves, but as a means to cultivate a vital relationship with my Savior—a tool that the Lord has provided to draw me closer to him. When I think about it this way, my devotions become the greatest privilege and biggest opportunity of my day. And it’s much easier to make time for something I view this way.

Think about what changes in daily communion with the Lord: We experience God’s power in our daily need and are transformed as we behold his glory. We see the Lord’s loving heart behind his commandments and find all we need for life and godliness. We experience freedom from the power of sin and learn to rest in Christ’s righteousness. We grow in affection for fellow Christians and passion for the church for which Christ died.

We grow in love for others and develop a heart for the lost. We cultivate humility and obedience borne of love. We are liberated form self-love as our sin is exposed and dealt with. We gain perspective in trials and grow in prayer. We learn to walk in the good works God has prepared and to daily die to ourselves. We experience genuine hope and true joy. We grow in gratefulness and yearn for His glory.

Our focus shifts from God’s gifts to the Giver of those gifts. And we become bold for the sake of the gospel. This is a win-win proposition.

God has promised to draw near to us as we draw near to him (James 4:8), so let’s make time to meet with him.  Next week, I’ll offer some practical steps to get a devotional time up and running.  

 

By Cindy Campbell

I have been reflecting a lot lately about our 25th anniversary. Twenty five years is a long time – about one half of my life and nearly the entire lives of our adult children, which really do not know any other church experience. In many ways, the twenty five years have flown by.  In others, well you know how it goes, they passed slowly. As I have looked back and remembered the past twenty five years, there has been a lot that has transpired in our lives, in the world around us and in the church.

Twenty five years ago, our family moved here from Gaithersburg not because we were in love with Philadelphia, but because of the vision that the Lord had placed in our hearts. Our lives had been radically changed by the truth of the gospel through living our lives in a New Testament church called Gathering of Believers.  That church is now called Covenant Life Church. We belonged to a small group, served in the church, shared our lives with others and were learning to be God-directed parents to our small children.

It was hard to leave our church family and, to be honest, there were times during that first year or so that returning to our friendships and former church looked very appealing.  However, there was truth in our hearts about how the Lord had changed us, and we felt compelled to live and share it with those He would add here in the suburbs of Philadelphia.

It was a lot of work at the beginning with only 14 adults and our children. When there were meetings that needed to happen, chairs to be set up, children to be cared for, meals to be made, people to care for - it was all of us. In those first days, I distinctly remember that when Bill Patton dismissed everyone to “Children’s Ministry,” over half the room got up to leave. We met together to pray for the people the Lord was adding, we talked about how to reach out and share the truth of the gospel with those we were meeting in our neighborhoods and in our daily lives, and we began to share our lives over meals together.  “Love Feast, any one?” or perhaps spaghetti at the Redrup’s?

There are so many memories from those early years as the Lord quickly added people to the church. I think all of the original church planters would agree that no one was more surprised at the growth of Covenant Fellowship Church of Philadelphia than we were. We realized that we were not special or unique in what we were doing, but the Lord was blessing and using our efforts. He was the one who breathed life and truth into those early days. Did we make mistakes? You bet we did! But did we grow, change and learn to laugh at ourselves more? You bet we did! The one thing that remained the same during those early years and to this day was the unending and unchanging faithfulness of our great God. We experienced, lived, and witnessed the truth that He never changes and that all that He does is for our good and His glory.

Looking back, there have been many people added to our church family. Some have stayed for a short season and then moved on.  Many others are still around today. We have shared in the life of the church together, gotten married, added children, experienced the passing of time and some have gone home to be with the Lord. We all look a bit older, but hopefully we have been changed over these past twenty five years.  By God’s grace, we have just a little more wisdom from our life experiences and trials. Many of our children are grown now, some are married and have begun families of their own, but we are so grateful that this next generation has begun to step up and take ownership of this church; the baton is being passed. I see my own older children serving in the church, in love with the Savior and passionate about building their lives for the Lord. It doesn’t get better than that!

Twenty five years of His faithfulness is something to celebrate together. In the blink of an eye, we will be celebrating 30, 35, 40, 45 and 50 years together. We can count on the fact that God’s faithfulness will never change and, as we have seen, experienced, and celebrated, His grace and mercy will be what we can celebrate together on each and every anniversary to come.

You have always been faithful
And You will always be good
You’ll never let us go, We’ll never be alone
You have always been faithful

By Trish Donohue

Well, it’s our day again, ladies, and I hope you’re reading this over a relaxed cup of coffee…but I’m guessing that’s not the case!  This morning, I thought I’d throw a lifeline out to you girls who read this blog occasionally and think, “Who are these people!  Here I am just trying to get the kids off to school and myself to work on time and they’re talking about family nights and modesty and all this biblical femininity stuff.  Where have these women come from?”

Great question.  I’m aware that when you’re new to the church, it’s easy to lump the pastors’ and leaders’ wives into one broad flat category (I know ‘cuz I did it). You can assume these ladies were baking cookies at 6, hoping to find and follow a husband by 17, and certainly only ever experiencing mini-muffin sized temptations.

Actually, I would love for that to be the case, but this sinner has had the overflowing casserole-sized temptations and, instead of quickly embracing God’s amazing design for men and women, I had quite a battle on my hands.

I had invested most of my mental stock into the world’s value system which said that powerful people who other people serve were on top of the ladder, and people who did the serving were on the bottom.  There were a few rungs in between, but I aimed to stay closer to the top than the bottom.  Words like submission and helper were getting dangerously close to the mat on the floor. 

But the intelligent, fun-loving, thoughtful women I met at church immediately began to mess up my nicely organized ladder.  These encouraging wives, loving moms, and selfless single women were really living out what the Bible taught—and were thriving!    I was scornful, curious, and impressed, in that order. 

Through many painful and helpful conversations, hours of study and soul-searching, and still surprising grace, my value ladder flipped.  I saw the wisdom of God in His design for men and women, and came to love it.  I’m not helping, encouraging, and laying my life down like I should, but those words are now beautiful to me.  They reflect Christ Himself, and I long for more of them in my life.     

Maybe, like me, you’ve come in these doors a little suspicious (What is with these women?) but also a little intrigued.  Hang around.  Not because the church is perfect, but because God is, and His plan is a wonderful one. 

By Ramona Doyle

I heard a humorous story recently that went something like this… …A prominent southern family hired a biographer to research and record their family history for posterity.  In the course of his investigations, the biographer went back to the family and expressed hesitancy to complete the work.  He had uncovered a “skeleton” in the family tree and feared the family would not want it exposed.  After sharing his findings, he was told to go ahead and complete the biographical piece.  He was given specific instruction regarding the distant relative who had scandalously embezzled funds from his firm, cheated on his income tax, and murdered someone to cover his deeds, ultimately resulting in a lengthy imprisonment and execution by electric chair.  The writer was asked to use his gift for weaving words so that the work could be completed without tarnishing the family record.  When it came to the relative’s byline in the book, the biographer wrote, “…he held the seat of applied electronics at the county’s most prominent institution.  He was bound to the position with the firmest of bonds and his death came as a great shock.” J

Words. They are very important.  It is easy to laugh at the discrepancy between truth and tale in the above story, but how often do we do the same thing??  Our words are powerful, telling, and never neutral.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:34, “…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  What we say is an indicator of what is going on in our hearts.

 

I’m guilty!  My sentences have exposed my heart and I’ve been sentenced by my words so many times.  I can be tempted to craft words to minimize impulsive spending at the grocery store or mall.  I can be tempted to retell a story to make myself look better than what really happened.  Or I can be tempted to call attention to my accomplishments in conversation.  And these words reveal pride, fear of man, and self righteousness in my heart.  And when words don’t reflect reality, Scripture calls them a lie.  Ouch!

 

Words like these reflect a selfish orientation rather than a Godward orientation in our hearts. But thankfully, the Lord does not leave us without instruction with regard to our words.  We can grow in honoring him in this area by being diligent to abide in the Lord that we might bear good fruit (John 15), slow to speak (James 1:19), careful to weigh our words (Proverbs 10:19), and quick to confess our sin (1 John 1:9).  And we can rest in the assurance that he gives grace to the humble as we seek to please him (James 4:6).  May our prayers and hearts mirror those of the psalmist who writes, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”  (Psalm 19:14)

By Ramona Doyle

What!  Forget one of our children?  Never!  

Well, maybe not…  All my children are different.  Some have required more input, discipline, correction, and time than others.  I’m thinking of the one of whom my husband and I would often joke, “If we can just keep him alive until he’s five…!”  But we’ve learned from experience that there can be some inherent problems when you have a challenging child in your home.  This child gets a lot of attention.  He hears the Gospel in the course of parenting many times a day.  He has lots of “heart talks” with Mom and Dad.  And Mom and Dad wear out the knees of their pants in prayer lifting him before the throne of grace for mercy and grace in time of need.  And the need is frequent!

Then there is the obedient child…the one who is usually in the right place at the right time.  This one is typically respectful, he doesn’t often make waves with his siblings, and you can tell he usually tries to do the right thing.  When we look back, we’ve realized how easy it is to “forget” the obedient child.  It’s easy to make assumptions about what is going on in his heart and not invest the same time and prayer into parenting him.  So he doesn’t get as much attention or have the frequent heart talks with Mom and Dad, and he doesn’t hear the Gospel in the course of parenting many times a day.  But though he doesn’t require the frequent correction of his sibling, he is every much in need of the Gospel as his counterpart.  Down the road the obedient child could easily drift for lack of Gospel restraint in his heart.

As we have labored to better parent our growing family and trusted the Lord to “work all things for our good” (Romans 8:28) in the midst of our parenting mistakes and weaknesses, we’ve sought to do implement parenting strategies that direct our focus to all of our children’s hearts.  We’ve learned to not make assumptions based on the outward behavior of our children and to regularly evaluate our parenting goals for each one.  We try to pray daily for each child, asking the Lord to protect them, guard their hearts, and continue his perfect work in each one.  My husband uses our family devotions each day not only as an opportunity to meet the Lord together, but also to draw out our children and listen to their responses to his questions.  And we seek opportunities for one-on-one time with each child, allowing opportunity to build strong relationships and specifically invest in each one.

And if you have a forgotten child, take heart.  The Lord is actively working in his life and never forgets: “Can a woman forget her nursing child … Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.  Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.  Isaiah 49:15-16 

By Gina Flood

 

I was in a doctor’s examining room recently and was skimming the magazine covers on the display rack while I waited for the doc. My gaze stopped on one title in particular – ”Reinvent Yourself at 40.” I noticed there was a lovely looking model sporting her reinvented self (I am assuming she was over 40; she was on the cover, it must be true). Now, I am approaching 40 and that’s okay, but it hadn’t really crossed my mind that I should be working on my self-reinvention. So I began to roll that one around in my head.

 

I recalled the days before I received Christ, The Inventor of my self. Each day was a new day to reinvent myself. I wrote endless lists and journal entries reflecting on what I thought was lacking in my character and my life and how I could achieve my goal of being the woman I thought I ought to be. Reinventing myself was a mission.

 

In the years following my conversion, Christ, The Inventor of my self, had drawn me out of the pit of destruction and the mire and placed my feet on a rock. He had put a new song in my mouth and I was so thankful. (Psalm 40:2-3) However, I was looking, ever looking, at the godly women around me, writing endless lists and journal entries about the wonderful, godly qualities these women possessed and what I should do to become like them. I was still reinventing myself, but now it was my ministry.

 

Then I thought about my life now. My life has gotten busier over the years. I don’t have as much time for lists and journal entries as I used to. But my life has gotten simpler, too. I love my God ordained calling as a Christian, wife, and mother. I love our church. I love my life. That has brought much focus to the lists and entries I take the time to write.

 

I realized, that by God’s amazing, wonderful, scandalous, unmerited grace, I am invented – by The Inventor! Through the life-changing power of His Word and the Holy Spirit, I am being reinvented into His image; I am a new creation. He has already prepared good works for me to do (Eph 2:10) and it is my Father in Heaven who works in me, to accomplish those works for His good pleasure. (Phil 2:13)

 

Have I arrived? By no means! Am I completed? Not until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil 1:6) I lack terribly in so many areas and I am thankful God has provided so many rich and wonderful examples in the saints.

 

But, I rejoice. I rejoice, because the Creator of the Universe, The Inventor of all things, invented me. There is nothing for me to reinvent, thank you Jesus. He has already invented and created and fashioned who I am. I press on because Christ has made me His own. (Phil 3:12) As I approach 40, I am thankful, I am refreshed, and I am overjoyed. Because now…now…instead of reinventing myself (in my own feeble strength and finite wisdom) into something I think I ought to be, my God, the Lover of my soul, is revealing who He has already made me to be.

 

May we all, as we humble ourselves before the throne of grace, walk in the good works he as prepared for us to do. May we rejoice in who He has made us to be already. May we press on toward holiness in faith and confidence that God knew what He was doing when He made us the way He made us. And may we stand amazed.

By Trish Donohue

 

We were at the shore for our last hurrah of the summer and decided to be adventurous and take a bike ride to the beach.  This may sound rather humdrum for the experienced cyclists among us, but for the Donohue Clan, this was a serious feat.  And if the cameras had been rolling this is what they would have seen.

 

Jim (borrowing a relative’s bike) had a stack of beach chairs bungeed to his handlebars which made him ride like a chimpanzee.  Next came Adam, who was balancing a boogie board twice his size and wobbling down the road taking out pedestrians on both sides while I yelled (in vain) from the back that that they had the right of way.  Asher and Bryn followed, trying to dodge flying shrapnel from the bikes in front while Shannon, our youngest, in her massive butterfly helmet, got stuck at every curb. 

 

Then there was me, who hadn’t been on a bike in an unmentionable number of years.  I initially had the sand shovels in my lovely bike basket, but three seconds into the ride, one fell out and flew between my bike spokes, which would have catapulted me into the air like a sunburned Evel Knieval except for the fact that I was going less than one mile an hour.  But I was jarred, and that qualifies as a serious athletic injury in my book.

 

Our actual ride was a crazy combination of dropping things, falling, walking across streets, talking to drivers who waited for us to walk across streets, screaming, and laughing very hard in a near-death sort of way.  

 

What does that have to do with anything blog-worthy?  Well, first, it’s a good story, and second, it’s a picture of how we moms can feel in our parenting.

 

1. We’re off on a new adventure (a new challenge, a new season of parenting, a new school year.)
2. We realize as we’re planning that our children are at so many different levels and have so many different needs.  Some are ahead and almost out of sight, some are falling behind, and none of them seem to hear the advice we’re calling to them.
3. We’re ill-equipped.  We’re supposed to be helping lead this troop, and we’re just learning ourselves!  We’re wobbling around in the back while they’re whizzing on ahead.  How do we catch up?
4. We’ve got baggage.  There are so many things and events to juggle and carry that we’re afraid we’ll get off course, or wreck, maybe even taking someone else out while we’re at it.
5. We’re temped to think, ‘maybe we should bag this’.  We thought the Lord had called us to it, but maybe there’s an easy way out, preferably without the risks. 

 

Here’s the truth:  God knows our limitations, and knows the job He’s called us to.  He knows each one of our children and the speed that they ride.  He knows their desires, their abilities, and their downfalls.  And He’s picked us, in our wobbly weakness, to guide them through the traffic of life.  But God is the one who keeps them.  And we can launch into God’s will for us in full assurance that He will get us where we need to go, safely, and in his time.

 

We almost took the van.  Nobody really wanted to, and we knew we’d sacrifice a memory, but we almost wimped out.  I’m so glad we didn’t.

By Ramona Doyle

 

I walk regularly for exercise.  On a recent vacation when I realized that I had forgotten my walking shoes, I used a pair of ‘trekking sandals’ in their place.  The open sides even seemed to add an advantage: when a tiny pebble became lodged in one of the heels during a walk, I assumed it would work itself free and ignored it.  I learned a huge lesson that day…one small pebble can cause one huge blister!

 

Sadly, this lesson had an all too familiar feel to it…you see, small pebbles are not the only things that can cause big problems.  I had a season of not being able to sleep.  It started when my husband got a sinus infection that left him with a tendency to snore, waking me up several times throughout the night.  Occasionally, I had difficulty getting back to sleep.  Then I started laying awake worrying about whether I would get enough sleep on a given night.  With less sleep, my daytime activities seemed harder.  Then, as I contemplated my age and remembered the difficulty my mother experienced with sleep in the latter season of her life, I started wondering if this was to be course of my remaining years.  Translation: fretting led to fear, which led to anxiety, which yielded the fruit of discouragement and robbed me of my joy.  And my discouragement subtly seeped into other areas of my life.

 

I had allowed a small situation to grow out of proportion by not taking immediate steps to appropriate grace and ask the Lord for help.  We can do this in so many ways: a small worry becomes a big fear; a little sin becomes a huge stumbling block; a tiny concern becomes an overwhelming anxiety.  A few small steps away from grace and before we know it we can functionally live as if we have no hope.  We can forget to stand on the priceless truths of Scripture that remind us that the Lord hears the prayer of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) and is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1), then in self-sufficiency seek to overcome our own problems or sin.  The Lord is willing and available, but our own strength is woefully inadequate!  It’s like crawling through a desert on our hands and knees gasping for water while failing to notice we are crawling around the edge of an oasis!  I praise God for his abundant grace that woke me up (pun intended!) to see his provision in the midst of my need.  I found peace as I prayed, meditated on His word, and asked others for prayer and counsel.  And the Lord later healed my husband’s snoring problem!  Psalm 25:10 says, “All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness...”  May this motivate us to take quick steps to appropriate His abundant grace for every need.

By Trish Donohue

On our most recent date night, Jim and I found ourselves in the middle of a great conversation in the Acme parking lot of all places. It was raining and the drops on the windshield were reflecting and shimmering on everything in the car including us; it was a perfect movie scene, although instead of a tearful break-up or a spontaneous declaration of love, we were talking about gratitude—very un-Hollywood.

Jim was showing me how I can often enter situations looking at what needs to change instead of first seeing God’s grace and thanking Him for it. His observations were welcome ones since this is an area I want to grow in, and I have benefitted immeasurably from his help.

In my puny attempts to change, I’m happy to inform all you fellow ingrates that God has been extremely patient and hasn’t given up on me. There’s hope for us! As wives and moms, our countless menial tasks provide us countless opportunities to glorify God through gratitude. Here’s one thing I’ve been realizing as I’ve pondered the practical implications of gratitude.

We women often complain about situations that we actually love.

Sounds illogical, I know, but let me give you some examples from my own life:

• My daughter happened to get very sick the one night that Jim was away recently. I was up with her all night—I think I might have gone to sleep at 5:30 a.m. 

The temptation in that moment is self-pity, and yet the truth is that I love being a mom. I love my daughter and that I am the one who can comfort her. I love that Jim enjoys his job and gets to travel and that I can support him in that. If someone would offer to take this responsibility away from me, and thus the long night, I’d refuse in a second. The truth is that I’m tempted to complain about the situation…even though I love it.

• I’m walking past my sons’ room and the floor is once again littered with stuff. Didn’t I ask them to at least keep the floor picked up?

The truth in this situation is that I love having boys. They are a gift—a messy, dirty one sometimes, but a gift. These bug collections and dirty camo shorts and Lego guys represent the joys of their lives. Would I get rid of this "problem" if I could? Would I exchange them for a quieter, messless variety? Never.

So many of the minor irritations in our lives fall into this category—part and parcel of a job we wouldn’t trade for the world. Today as we feel our "last nerve" begin to tingle, let’s see if we can look past it to the broader gift of God, and praise Him for it…in gratitude.

By Trish Donohue

Can you imagine being a vacation? Not going on one, but being one? A vacation’s job description is enormous and it all has to be accomplished in seven days, without fail. Here is what I usually want my vacation to do for me.

• Make me happier than I’ve been all year.
• Provide a round-the-clock atmosphere of relaxation even with a bunch of kids all living out of messy suitcases and ingesting vast amounts of sugar.
• Refresh my heart, soul, mind, and body so that when I come back home I will face my normal life with the music of a waterfall playing in my brain.
• Create family memories full of laughter and hugs and Kodak moments, ensuring that I look fabulous on all the pictures.
• Provide a tan with no sunburn, a feast with no weight gain, and self-indulgence with no sin.

Although I adore vacations and have files of precious memories from them, I’ve taken enough of them to recognize they can’t possibly live up to the tasks I’ve given them to accomplish. I’ve selfishly struggled that, while in utopia, I still have to do many of the jobs I do at home—feeding the hungry tribe, laundering the sandy clothes, and guiding the tempted hearts, beginning with my own. I’ve fought with the ever shrinking time left before returning home to the full inbox and empty refrigerator. I’ve grappled with a vacation’s sheer inability to produce the lasting tranquility I’m looking for.

Have you been there?

Here’s my conclusion. (You may have figured this out by now, but bear with me, I’m slower.) There are two ways to take a vacation. The first, my default, is to load it up with all the expectations I listed above, which should allow me to do the only thing left – relax. My job is to relax – not think about what God wants to do with my time, or the needs of others, or disciplines of any kind. This self-centered approach will pretty much 100% of the time dump me back into my regular life feeling deflated and worldly. And I blame my vacation for not doing its job.

The second is to enjoy a vacation as a gift from God, seeing his hand in all the beauties and blessings, and the opportunities to serve as well. In this situation, I’m not trying to escape from life, but to invest in the life and family God has given me. It’s not all about my own immediate pleasure, but the pleasure of living in God’s will. Instead of seeking the elusive cloud of “relaxation” (bring me a magazine quick!) I can rest in the goodness and sovereignty of God and enjoy what He’s provided without trying to make it something it can never be.

Can you guess which one brings more joy in the end?

Our vacations can do a lot for us. What can we do for them?

By Trish Donohue

At the beach recently, some girlfriends and I were meandering among the shops.  In one particular shop, a friend was trying on some beachy tops and a couple sundresses.  They were stylish and fun, but I knew they were a bit too revealing for me to try.  Yet, a quick thought of resentment rushed to my mind, “I could pull that off and look good but of course I can’t.”  There it was, an ugly mix of my own selfishness, vanity, and worldliness in one quick moment. Teenage girls aren’t the only ones in the battle…moms with minivans fight, too.

God helped me remember the rightness and wisdom of his decrees about modesty…and gratitude for his plan followed.  But even as I write the word, modesty, I’m aware that I’d prefer a different word.  It’s a bit musty, after all—a bit prudish, outdated, even embarrassing.  I want to declare, I am relevant!  I’m not an old stodgy church lady in a housedress!  The only little problem is, modesty is God’s word. (1 Timothy 2:9) It’s God-breathed, from the lips of the divine Creator and Wardrobe Director. Oops.

So what will prevail: fear of man or fear of God?  Will I let the culture tell me to scoff at God’s perfect truth?  Or will I see modesty for the beautiful, wise plan God says it is?

On Sunday, July 19th, Jim had the opportunity to address the men after Jared’s excellent message. That’s when we were ushered into the very chatty lobby and during light conversation, glimpsed the mass of sober male faces through the auditorium’s glass doors.  What were they talking about in there? 

The topic was sexual purity, or lack thereof.  The percentage of Christian men who seriously struggle with impurity is staggering.  During that short time, many of our brothers were on their knees, crying out for power to change and for help in grave temptation.

Can we change the Vanity Fair that surrounds them?  Can we reform TV, movies, ads, newspapers, billboards, workplaces, even cereal boxes that present challenges?  Probably not.  But can we add our voice of support by obeying God and dressing in a way that prevents further temptation?  Yes.  Even if it means passing up an opportunity to impress someone?  By God’s grace, yes.

Listen girls, it’s easy to downplay our role in this important battle. However, greater effort and attention from all of us in this area will not only honor God, but may bring a respite to some of the weary saints. 

So goodbye breezy sundress.  I’ll find you in a better style.  And hopefully a better sale.   

By Deb Demi

Do you know the verse about hiding God’s word in your heart?  (Ps. 119:11)  The problem that I have is once I hide it, I can’t always find it.

Maybe it’s because I’m over 40 or maybe it’s because I have 7 kids (4 of whom are teenagers), but I have a hard time remembering things - specifically scripture.  I can still recall bible verses that I learned when I was in grade school and even ones that I learned in college.  Back then, scripture seemed to stick in my head.  Now, however, I’m lucky to remember a verse that I memorized last month. 

Maybe you’ve experienced this too.  You spend time memorizing a passage of scripture only to be unable to recall five words of it two weeks later.  Maybe you don’t even try to memorize scripture, because it’s just too difficult.  Before giving up on the idea of memorizing portions of scripture, let me encourage you!

This past year, I have memorized Romans 12, Romans 5, 2 Peter 1, and I just finished committing Romans 8 to memory word for word.  I’m not telling you this to pat myself on the back.  Each of those passages took me at least a month to learn.  I’m not a great memorizer.  And, when I just tried to recall Romans 12 – I only could remember two verses (the ones I learned in college).  So, you may be asking, why bother memorizing at all if in less than a year – you can’t remember anything?

Here’s an example of why I will continue to hide God’s word in my heart:   For the past three months (!)  I’ve been memorizing Romans 8.  Every day while I dry my hair, I say the verses aloud from the beginning of the chapter (several times), and try to add a new one.  Then, when I’m driving in my car or lying in bed at night or taking a shower or when I first get up in the morning, I meditate on the chapter as far as I know it.  For the past three months, I’ve been immersed in the gospel promises laid out for us in Romans 8.  Through memorizing and replaying, I did what I rarely have time to do in my quiet times – I meditated on and practically applied these amazing verses on a daily basis.

Though I can’t recall much of what I memorized earlier in the year, when a verse is needed, I know if it’s located in one of “my” 4 chapters.  And, I know that it’s still hidden in my heart somewhere, because when I try to relearn portions of one of the chapters, it comes back almost instantly.

So what are you waiting for?  Find a passage to memorize.  Don’t bemoan the fact that you may not retain it forever; revel in the fact that as do the work of memorizing, your soul is being fed.  Even if you can’t find it next month, you can be confident that God’s word is hidden somewhere in your heart!

“The Word is forgotten but they are still doing their work secretly and the spirit feeds on them and grows strong.”  Françoise Fenelon

By Ramona Doyle

With the recent media blitz surrounding the death of Michael Jackson, one of our country’s most famous pop stars, my husband and I found it interesting to note what folks were saying about him. Words and phrases like ‘legendary’, ‘superstar’, and ‘larger than life’ were liberally pasted across front pages of papers and magazines around the world and TV stations put regular programming on hold to cover the events of his life and death. Yes, this was a talented man. And yes, he had a large following and his fame spanned the generations. But though he loomed large in the world, we have the responsibility to discern who should loom large in the eyes and minds of our children and families.

Our country makes much of its entertainers and athletes. All the information one would ever want to know about them is never more than a ‘click’ away. And media effectively places them ever before our eyes. In this age of instant information and cult followings, Bill and I have become all the more aware of how important it is to carefully select the role models who will influence our children. Equally important, we’ve seen the need to supply appropriate commentary for our children in the midst of these kinds of current events.

When we think about choosing role models for our children, these are some of the questions my husband and I have considered:

          • What does the life of this person teach those who watch?
          • Is he/she rebellious or gracious and full of character?
          • How does he/she respond to life situations … in anger or envy, or with humility and forgiveness?
          • Does this person face the challenges of life with perseverance and learn from their mistakes, or by whining and complaining to anyone who will lend and ear?
          • If a woman, does her life model biblical femininity… does she value motherhood and is she oriented toward the home?
          • If a man, does his life model biblically masculine traits like courage, selflessness, and humble leadership? 
          • And how does this person respond to authority in his or her life …with cynicism or by genuinely valuing the authority over them? Do they value the role of parents?

We have found these kinds of positive role models more abundant in the lives of godly friends and families with whom we spend time and on the pages of good biographies and literature than on movie screens, video games or nightly TV. That notion alone helps us guide our children in how they spend their time. And as we seek good earthly role models for our children, we are also ever mindful of our need to keep before their eyes the life and character of the One who is truly ‘legendary’ and ‘larger than life’, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As we point our children to His goodness, mercy, and grace, we will help them to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

By Deb Demi

 

It started out with a simple (or so I thought) idea...

 

Tired of looking at the old, peeling, ugly wallpaper covering our kitchen and family room, I decided to take on the task of stripping the wallpaper and repainting.  But to my surprise, this “simple” task has been anything but simple.  The wallpaper pulled off the paint underneath it, the paste left on the wall in some places seemed inches thick, and scraps of border refused to budge.  And just when I thought that it couldn’t get any more overwhelming, Jeff decided to take down a wall and rip out the carpet in our dining room.  So not only is the wallpaper partially stripped leaving ugly, paint-stripped, paste-gooped walls in my kitchen and family room, there’s a big chunk of drywall missing in our dining room wall along with bare plywood floors.  I hope you get the picture.  My house is a mess right now.

 

Looking around, it would be easy for me to fall into despair.  However, what keeps me from discouragement and unashamedly able to live in my house is the vision that I have for what I want my house to look like.  As I strip and scrub the walls, I have the hope that soon, it’ll look much better than it did with the old, peeling wallpaper.  But before things look better, I know that I have to undergo this time of disarray.

 

At the same time that this construction has been going on in my home, the Lord has also been doing some extra “remodeling” in my soul.  Although the Lord is always at work in our lives, there seem to be seasons when we can feel the “construction” more acutely.  Lately I’ve been more aware of sin in my life, I’ve been experiencing failure, and I haven’t been able to keep all my plates spinning.  My inadequacies loom large revealing that I am not “done” yet.

 

One evening as I was tempted to wallow in my internal mess and disarray, the  Lord reminded me that just as I have a vision for my home, He has a vision for what He wants to accomplish in my life.  He is lovingly stripping me of my self-sufficiency, revealing my inadequacies and showing me where I’m not depending on Him.  Although at times the work that He is doing in us can look messy, we can be confident that He is using the painful, ugly-at-times process to deepen our relationship with Him.  When we can’t see what He is doing – when all that we can see is the chaos, we can trust that we are being conformed to the image of his Son.  And unlike my construction project, God is not daunted by the amount of work that it’s going to take nor does He lack the skill or time or vision. 

 

How is God at work in your life?  Are you in a season of heightened “construction”?  Or maybe your teenage son or daughter is in an obvious construction stage.  Be encouraged.  As painful as it may feel, embrace the work that He is doing in you being confident that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.

By Traci Healey

Pastor’s note:  Traci wrote this in early March.  As we post she is joyfully expecting the imminent arrival of the baby she talks about below.

Sometimes I get afraid people will think I’m silly for getting pregnant soon after getting married (a little over 3 months).  Mostly because I would have thought it was silly.  When we were engaged, I asked Rick to give me at least 6 months before we started trying to have kids.  It could have been longer, but hey, I’m getting old.

But one day I read this and God spoke to me.

Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Reading this, God showed me my heart and its fears and then He showed me the promises of His Word.  I was convicted of two things.

The first was being afraid of what people (my family and close friends) would think of me.  What would they say about me?  Would they think I was crazy for not wanting more time alone with Rick?  Would they think I was missing out on the newlywed years?  Maybe.  Does it matter?  No.  Because the promise of this verse is that children are from the Lord…a reward…they bring blessing to their parents…there is no downside to kids in God’s economy.

The second is that I was afraid of the future.  What if we couldn’t provide for our kids?  What if we couldn’t buy a house?  What if all the money I wanted to spend at Anthropologie suddenly went to diapers?  Well, the first part of this psalm spoke to my anxieties: “…he gives to his beloved sleep.”  The anxious don’t sleep well, but God’s beloved do.  He cares for them, builds their house and watches over them.  Now that is a promise.

So God spoke to me.  He eased my fears.  And then I very clearly knew what repentance and obedience looked like.  I was to trust Him in all things and have kids.  And now that I’m pregnant?  I know that this is what God called me to do from the beginning…and that gives me great joy.  Even if it means a change in some of my shopping.

Blogger’s Note: I understand that there are perfectly good reasons to wait to have kids.  And I’m not saying my story is the best one to follow.  But it’s a good reminder that God is the one who sets our priorities.

By Ramona Doyle

My husband and I have five children, and though our oldest daughter is now married, we’ve realized that we are still a long way from the proverbial “empty nest.” Those children remaining at home range in age from twenty all the way down to nine. Looking back, we have such fond memories of all the fun times we’ve shared, but looking ahead we take note that we have many more active years of parenting.

 

Now if your family is anything like ours, child #1 received hours of attention, and participated in everything from story hour at the library to baby swimming lessons and preschool music programs. When child #2 arrived, Mom and Dad’s time was a little more stretched, and the lessons and activities were divided between the kids. Then there was child # 3 …What was his name again? Oh yes, that was the one who taught himself to walk. J Obviously, I’m being a bit facetious here, but truth be told, sometimes the younger children can get a little lost in the mix.

 

We want all of our children to grow up to love the Lord and serve the church, so we’ve realized we can’t afford to coast during the second half of our parenting adventure. Because of the make up of our family, what we do may look different than when our older children were young, but it needs to be every bit as intentional. Here are some of the ways we are seeking to finish well with regard to parenting:

 

·        Take time to plan and pray – Once or twice a year my husband sets aside time for us to get away to evaluate the needs of our children and family. We discuss and pray for each child and set goals for the next season. We also evaluate our parenting and seek to make appropriate adjustments.

 

·        Learn from others – We try to be intentional in building relationships with others who are parenting with excellence that we might learn from them and give them a window into our parenting. It has also served us to reread good parenting books and regularly listen to good teachings we’ve collected through the years. How easily we can forget…we need a steady diet of wisdom and truth!

 

·        Don’t forget family devotions – We weren’t always faithful in this area, but as we’ve made this important discipline a priority, we’ve been amazed at how the Lord meets us, how much the kids look forward to it, and how easy it is to do devotions even with a wide range of ages. Some of our most cherished family memories have come from these times.

 

·        Involve all of the children in the life of the family – Having older children to help with the daily grind can make it tempting to leave the younger ones to themselves. And sometimes I would rather just “get done” with a task rather than take time to involve a child. I’ve started inviting my nine year old daughter to make dinner with me each evening. What a wonderful opportunity, not only for her to prepare to one day care for her family, but also to build our relationship and have yet one more context to point her to the Lord.

 

·        Cling to the Lord – We are weak and easily grow weary, but He is a fountain of strength who promises grace for every good work.

 

There is nothing magical these specific things.  They are just practices and reminders that have served us through the years.  Yours may look different…and that’s okay.  The most important thing is that we as parents remember that coasting is not part of our job description…and we need others around us to caution us when we start. 

 

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

By Stephanie Spence

 

I have come to the conclusion that pet peeves are not good things to have.  There was a time when I actually wanted one.  Really, it wasn’t that I didn’t have any pet peeves, I just hadn’t identified them yet. Just as most people have a favorite color, most people have favorite pet peeves, and I wanted to know what mine were.

 

Upon reflection, it wasn’t hard to name a few things that irritate me.  One group of irritations fall into a category I like to call “mouth sounds.”  This category includes anything that involves lip or tongue smacking, such as chewing with one’s mouth open. 

 

Once my pet peeves were properly identified I began to nurture them, feed them, pet them, and take them out for walks.  After all, they were my pet peeves and I needed to care for them.  For instance, I’d be in community group and someone would be sharing something meaningful, but instead of listing to his words, I was listening to the clicking noise his tongue would make each time he paused to take a breath.  Or, I might be at a coffee shop reading a book and someone at the table behind me would start slurping her coffee to my utter annoyance, producing in me anger and contempt. 

 

I discovered that pet peeves are no more your domesticated household pet than a lion or bear.   They are wolves in sheep’s clothing.  They are like wild animals which are nearly, if not impossible, to tame.  They are not animals at all; pet peeves are nothing short of my flesh on full display clawing, craving, and roaring. 

 

Romans 8:5-6 says that “those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace”.  Justifying and nurturing my anger is living according to the flesh and leads to death. However, I am not in the flesh but in the Spirit because the Spirit of God dwells in me (Romans 8:9). 

 

Unfortunately, pet peeves have a way of sticking around.  But, as irritations come and provoke the flesh, by God’s power my focus can be on what the Spirit wants instead of what these insidious pet peeves want. of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the

By Deb Demi

Are you looking to deepen your friendships, experience more biblical fellowship and at the same time be encouraged in your walk with the Lord?  I have found that all of these things and more can happen through praying together with other women.  Here are two specific ways of praying together that have blessed me.

A Weekly Prayer Group: The first way is by being involved in a weekly prayer group.  A little over two years ago, I began to feel a desire to pray regularly with some other women for our husbands and children. After sharing this with one of my friends, she too thought that it was a good idea.  We sent out some e-mails, found a home to meet in, and set a day and time.  So for over 2 years now, a group of about 5 – 10 women (16 of us in all) have been meeting at Lolly DiMaio’s house every Friday morning from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.  We try to start the meeting promptly after grabbing a cup of coffee, of course. 

Instead of sharing prayer requests, we jump right in by praying our requests.  Once a request is prayed, usually others join in by continuing to pray for that request.  We try to keep our prayers short and allow them to bounce around like popcorn.  Often someone will have a prophetic word or Scripture to share, there are usually tears, and we always leave deeply encouraged as we lift our needs up before our Heavenly Father recounting His faithfulness, His power in our weaknesses, and His goodness.  Even though some of us barely knew each other two years ago, through prayer, we have formed very special bonds.

Extended Prayer Times:  Not only is a weekly prayer meeting a good tool in building friendships, extended prayer times can strengthen our relationships in our community groups.  The first time that I mentioned to our CG women, that we were going to try to pray together for an hour, they looked at me a little skeptically.  If praying together for an hour seems daunting to you, try the following:  Come up with six categories such as praise and thanksgiving, confession of sin, husbands, children, church/leaders, and the lost.  Pray aloud according to the subject bouncing back and forth in no particular order. When 10 minutes pass, someone can move you on to the next category.  Before we knew it, we prayed for over an hour.  We learned about each other’s burdens, we cried together, and we confessed our sins before one another.  And, after praying our requests and burdens of our hearts, the context for our conversation flowed into deep and meaningful biblical fellowship.

How about you?  Who is it that the Lord is calling you to pray with?  Not only is prayer an effective means through the Gospel to bring your requests before the throne of God, it is a tool that the Lord will use to deepen your relationships and encourage your soul.

By Trish Donohue

“Warm, yummy, potato chips right off the conveyor belt, we’re coming!” we cried as we jumped into the van on a recent rainy Monday.  We were headed to the Herr’s Snack Factory tour (free and fat-filled—what could be better?)  We took the tour, clogged up our arteries with the free samples, and were dumped out into the gift shop where my generous husband told the kids to pick out something small.

The girls were gaga over the 25 cent plastic rings and a coloring book, one of my sons picked a plastic popcorn ball probably to aim at his brother’s noggin, and my other son got caught in the tractor beam of a stress potato.  He was enamored, charmed, captivated by it.  For the stress-free among us, an explanation may be in order.  A stress potato is a soft, but not too soft, rubbery potato that you can squeeze the daylights out of, presumably to alleviate stress.  I’m not sure who concocted the idea that you could channel stress into another object by squeezing it, but apparently it sells.  Anyway, my son was all giggles. 

I figured it was a worthy investment.  It could be by the piano for one boy during lessons, or on the other boy’s math book.  Jim could squeeze it while doing the budget and I could have it while rushing out the door and realizing that someone’s flip-flop had vanished again!  (The girls don’t have any stress, they only provide it, so they don’t get a turn.)    

The funny thing is that we all have our stress potatoes, whether it’s a bag of chips, the TV, sleep or shopping.  “This is just what I need,” we tell ourselves again, even though experience has taught us that these things don’t really relieve us, they just temporarily distract. 

Although the “Stress Spud” as we affectionately call it, still resides in our home, I’m so glad that there is real relief for stress, or more accurately, the sin of anxiety. 

“Do not be anxious about anything,” the Bible urges us, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Aaaah.  God’s truth and grace for anxious sinners.  No gimmicks, Herr’s logo, or carpal tunnel syndrome involved.  Just help from Almighty God and a promised peace.  Thank you, Lord, for providing real help in time of need.

But now what do I do with the stress potato?  Stress potato salad

By Deb Demi

Sometimes my life can feel like a roller coaster ride.  I find myself going up and down emotionally depending on my circumstances.  When things are going well, I'm happy and at peace.  When difficult circumstances enter the picture, I get depressed, discouraged and joyless. 

One day when I was feeling particularly down, the line of the hymn "The Solid Rock" came springing into my head  "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteous."  It was like the Holy Spirit turned a light bulb on in my mind.  No wonder I go up and down so much; my hope is so often built on my circumstances, not on Jesus' blood and His righteousness (the Gospel)!

For example, one desire that I have is that my kids would respond in a godly manner.  It's a good desire.  However, I know that my hope is built on that desire rather than on Christ when I get discouraged or fearful when they are not living up to my expectations.  On the other hand when my kids are doing well, I can be elated and even prideful because what I've hoped for happened.  In either case, my hope may be built on my circumstances rather than Christ.

It's one thing to know that your hope should be built on Christ alone, but actually transferring your hope from your circumstances to Christ is the challenge.  How do I hope in Christ, rather than in the outcome of my expectations?

For me to hope in Christ means that I have to look past my circumstances, almost as if they were transparent, and ground myself on what I know about God.  Sure, my circumstances may not look good, but I know that my God is faithful, sovereign, all-powerful and because of the Gospel I know that through Christ, God loves me more than I can imagine and will cause all things to work out for my good that He has a purpose for each circumstance that He's allowed in my life that He is actively at working accomplishing His perfect will even when things look dark, and that He answers prayer.  The truth about God from the Word of God has to become more real and tangible to me than even the circumstances that I'm walking through.

Our circumstances will constantly change and our expectations will sometimes be unmet.  But when our hope is fully grounded on who God is (by reading and meditating on the Word) and the riches of the Gospel, our emotions don't have to roller coaster up and down.  On Christ, the solid rock, we will stand!  For we know that all other ground is sinking sand.

 "Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."  1 Peter 1:1

Pastor’s note:  I thought Deb’s insight on seeing our circumstances almost as if they were transparent was especially rich.  Eyes of faith see through circumstances to the loving and wise God behind them.  And he is always there.  

By Kathy Breslin

I used to wonder how singleness could be considered a gift.  I’d heard all the typical responses to that question: “it allows you to serve God,” “you’re time isn’t divided and you can focus on Him,” “think of all the wonderful ways you can help the church,” etc…  I’d heard them all and in my heart I couldn’t help but think “is that really a gift?”  But as I’ve lived my life as a part of this church, my response started to change. 

Change doesn’t happen over night and this was no different.  There was no one thing that I did or heard that caused my change in perception about my singleness to happen; but rather God’s faithfulness in my life.  As I started to serve more, in my Community Group, in Alpha, babysitting for some of the families at church, reaching out to friends who don’t know the Lord, and so on, I was seeing God move in His people and my attention moved away from my own desires and focused on Him and His grace in my life.

God promises us in Psalm 37 that if we delight in Him he will give us the desires of our heart.  What strikes me about this verse isn’t that he’ll give me the desires of my heart but that this is a promise from the One who formed me and has the power to shape me and change me.  While my desires to have a family one day have not changed, my desires to see God’s name be great have grown.  One day this may be through a family but I am excited with what He is doing through me today.
 

In this season the Lord has also given me a clearer idea of what the gift of marriage is all about.  My view of marriage was that it was very much about me and my dreams, needs, and wants, rather than about the Lord.  As some of my closest friends were getting married I started thinking more about marriage and the sacrifices my friends were making to care for their spouse, family, and home.  The more I thought about this the more I realized that the sacrifices I was making to serve the Lord and the church were minor in comparison to those my newly married friends were making in their own lives.  Don’t get me wrong, my friends speak of the many blessings that come in marriage.  But I now have a sober appreciation for the need for grace to be married, not just to be single.  

 

This also made me freshly grateful for my parents and the sacrifices they’ve made for me and my sister.  They laid down their own desires and wants to be there for us even to this day.  I might never know the full extent of the sacrifices that have been made on my behalf but I know I am grateful for them and for whom they’ve allowed me to be as a woman.  

By writing this, I don’t mean to imply that I’ve arrived or that it’s never hard being a single Christian woman.  But God’s faithfulness to me is greater than my circumstances and he has graciously placed me in a church that encourages me and challenges me to continue to fight the good fight.  And while it’s tempting to list my phone number at the bottom of this page, just in case my future husband is reading, I will refrain and trust the Sovereign One who has provided me with more than I can ask or imagine.

Ramona Doyle

 

When I read Trish Donohue’s outstanding blog last week on how to be a younger woman, my immediate thought was, “What timely and helpful advice!  I wish someone had shared these thoughts to me when I was young…”  But it got me thinking about the other side of the equation – the ‘older woman’.  In order to write these thoughts, I first had to admit to myself that I am an older woman (well, at least a little olderJ).  I know I’ve already lost many of you with this title, but if you look past culture to the biblical picture of an older woman, she possesses much to be desired!  So here goes…

 

To those of us who are a little further along in years, Trish made a good point that I’ll state in reverse.  We are called to be younger women as well as older women!  I find it helpful to remember that though I have hopefully learned some things along the way and grown in wisdom by the grace of God, I am still a work in process.  I need help every bit as my younger sisters.  There are also those women who are a step ahead of me in years or life situation that I can seek out to draw from the storehouse of God’s wisdom and grace in their lives. 

 

So how can I be an effective older woman?

 

1.     Be observant.  Remember that though older than some, there are those older than me.  Take note of who is walking ahead of you.  There are many women around us who have hit those important milestones ahead of us…the marriage of a child, grandchildren, change of life, empty nest, to name a few.  They have cared for their families and managed their homes in the midst.  Who has excelled in these things…seek them out and ask specific questions!  

 

Blog Czar Andy here…  I thought this was a great point which stirred a couple of thoughts, so I’m breaking into Ramona’s blog with them. First, if you are raising teens and tweens there are some younger women who may better know what temptations and cultural enticements your girls may face than you.  It might be wise of you to find out what young women in this culture face and not trust in your own experience when you were that age.  Second, there are also some chronologically younger women who have gone through things you may yet face – debilitating illness, the death of a parent or even a spouse.  These women have much to offer, but often feel unable to identify with women who haven’t walked where they have walked.  Sweet, mutual ministry awaits those whose eyes are open to these opportunities.

 

2.     Look at whom the Lord has placed in your life.  If you are an older woman, there are younger women who need you!  With whom do you rub shoulders in the everyday activities of your life …perhaps in a ministry, through contact with your own grown children, in your community group, or around the church?  Start to pray for these younger women.  Encourage them as the Lord gives opportunity.  Perhaps the Lord will open a door to a deeper relationship.

 

3.     Be available.  I find it all too easy to fill every available moment with activity.  I may be doing good things, but if it is at the expense of fellowship and being available to the people the Lord has placed in my life, I may be missing some big opportunities.

 

What a delightful pattern the Lord has set forth in his word to ensure that we continue to grow in our love for Him, our walk in His ways, and in our ability to care for those He has entrusted to us.  May we as women soak our hearts and minds in the rich storehouse of wisdom the Lord has made available from the lives of those who have gone before us – and come after us.

By Trish Donohue

 

Wow!  What a great title!  I have you all hooked, I know it.  You’re envisioning the long sought fountain of youth bubbling up and covering all those fine wrinkles and graying hairs.  I’m sure Clinique offers something like this for approximately $350, but physical youth is actually not today’s topic.  It’s how to be the younger woman described in the well-known Titus passage: Older women…are to so train the younger women…”

 

Okay, it’s true that these verses are directed toward the older woman; the one we are all hoping will arrive in our moment of need, shower us with life-changing wisdom, and clean our kitchen while she’s at it.  But here’s the deal—most  women who would be a benefit to us aren’t prophetic enough to discern the moment we need them, confident enough to assume we want to hear from them, or available enough to be waiting outside our door for the cry of despair.  SO!  Take out your note-pads ye seekers of wisdom.  Here are some tips on how to be a younger woman.

 

1.  Look around.  Sometimes we get “fridge disease.”  You know, you’re looking for the salsa in the fridge and its right in front of you.  These elusive older women are sometimes right in front of us in the lobby at church, sitting beside us in community group, or right behind us in worship.  Who has God placed in our lives that is a little further along?  Whose children are a few years older than ours?  Who excels in an area where we are weak?  Look around and pick out a woman you could learn from.

 

2.   Jot down some specific questions for her.  How does she maintain such purposefulness in her singleness?  How does she do meal planning for her family?  What is her daily schedule?  What do her quiet times look like?  It’s helpful to have some questions ready so you can drop into a conversation quickly.

 

3.  Initiate.  Invite her to lunch after church or to grab some coffee between services, or draw her out after community group.  These conversations don’t have to be formal; in fact, it’s sometimes better when they’re not!  God promises to give grace to the humble, and He will bless our efforts to learn from the women He’s given us.

 

How do I know this?  Because I need a lot of help, and a lot of wisdom!  I recently chatted with a woman whose children are a few years ahead of mine and her counsel was so helpful.  A few weeks later, I grabbed a couple of moms at a meeting and asked them if they had ever struggled with a particular sin I was seeing in my life.  Help is often a conversation away!  And because we’re all called to be “older women” as well as “younger women,” let’s drink in as much wisdom as we can so that we have something to pour out when a younger woman reads this blog and walks over to us!    

 

 

Posted by Deb Demi

 

If you’re anything like me, staying focused while praying can be a struggle.  Minutes after I begin to pray, I oftentimes find that my mind has drifted off on an endless rabbit trail of unrelated thoughts.  Though praying will always involve discipline and faith, the Lord has graciously given me a tool that has made my prayer time more effective, more enjoyable, and more gospel centered. 

 

To stay focused, I keep lyrics to worship songs and hymns before me as I pray (usually while walking on the treadmill).  My prayer time begins by choosing a song and singing it aloud before the Lord.  After I sing/pray a verse, I continue by praying aloud my own thanksgiving, praise, and requests related to the lines of the song. 

 

For instance, one song that I’ve been using for quite some time in praying for my children is “One Pure and Holy Passion” by Mark Altrogge.  Instead of using the word “me” in the song, I replace it with “them.”  So I sing (aloud), “Give them one pure and holy passion.  Give them one magnificent obsession.  Jesus give them one glorious ambition for their lives, to know and follow hard after You.”  Then I may pause between lines and pray that they would fully grasp the gospel, that they would hunger after God’s word, and that they would not desire anything that the world has to offer them more than Christ.

 

Not only is alternating singing and praying through hymns and gospel-centered worship songs valuable for praying for my children, songs with rich lyrics provide a valuable context for meditating on the gospel while helping me to verbally give thanks to God for all that He has done for me.  Through others’ carefully crafted words, I’m reminded of who my hope is in.

 

Recently I sang/prayed through “Be Thou My Vision”, “Rock of Ages”, “In Christ Alone”, and “One Pure and Holy Passion.”  By using these songs as a backdrop for my prayer time, I had no trouble praying for 30 minutes.  My focus was directed away from me and my needs and toward giving glory to God.  The songs provided a springboard, enabling me to pray more effectively for my husband, children, neighbors, and CG members.  The extended time of prayer it afforded, allowed me to quiet my soul to hear God speak, and by singing and praying aloud, my mind did not drift.  I left my prayer time feeling that I not only brought my needs before the throne of God, I was able to reflect on the gospel and truly worship God.

 

Though I don’t use this prayer method every day (sometimes I pray through scriptures or a prayer list), I think that praying through depth-filled worship songs can be a tool that can spur us on in our praying.  Why not give it a try?

Posted by Stephanie Spence

 

I wouldn’t say I have a ton of fears, but I have enough to keep me busy.  And sometimes those fears can be big enough to battle for control of my life.  I worry about things like my job performance, what people think of me, and being alone.  One of my biggest fears revolves around driving.  I’ve been in several car accidents in the last few years and I am afraid of getting into another one.  Not just a little afraid, a lot afraid, to the point where I have limited when and where I drive as much as possible.  This fear was at a panic level about two years ago and my biggest help was the promise I found in Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you.  Be not dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  I made that verse into a little song and would sing it to myself over and over and over again every time I was driving.  Sometimes instead of singing it, I would shout the words of that verse proclaiming to my fearful heart the power of my God.  This verse was helpful to me because it reassured me that God was with me in the car giving me competence to drive safely.

 

I don’t know about you, but the command “do not be anxious” never helped me much.  What has helped are biblical truths like Isaiah 41:10 which tell me why I don’t need to be anxious; biblical truths which put my worries into proper perspective in contrast with the greatness of God.  My favorite verses remind me not only of God’s wisdom, love and power, but of his promise to act on my behalf.  Verses like Romans 8:31 which asks, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”  This verse quickly puts things into perspective for me when I start worrying about what others think about me.  It even speaks to bigger situations like the possibility of being let go from a job, or being harassed by someone.  It reminds me that God is in control, not people.  That’s the great thing about Romans 8.  You name a fear and it’s covered here.  Can any of these things separate us from what matters most - the love of Christ?  Can disease, or the inability to have children, or the loss of a loved one?  “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”  (Romans 8:37)

 

I shouldn’t at all be surprised by the calming and encouraging effect these Scriptures have on me.  The apostle Paul exhorts us in Ephesians 6 to “put on the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take up the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.”  Lies can rush into my mind like a swarm of arrows causing me great anxiety, but when I put my faith in the truth of God’s Word, God does battle with my enemy and I arise victorious.

Posted by Andrea Sharp

                                                            

Have you ever have had a quiet time where you really feel the presence of the Lord and you walk away so encouraged and ready for the day?

           

Well, that was not my experience this morning.  It was more like an unquiet time – at least for my soul.  My morning started as I stumbled off to the Y for a morning swim - still half asleep.  The pool that I regularly swim in was very crowded so I swam in the warm pool which this day felt like I was swimming in Jell-O. When I was finished, I was more tired than when I started.  I made my way home and slipped off to my room for a quiet time.  I began to read and in no time started to fall asleep.  I tried to rouse myself and pay attention with little success.  The passage I was reading was very difficult to understand.  Even with a commentary I was lost and feeling very distracted.  I was ready to close my books and give up, but through the faint prompting of the Spirit, who wouldn’t let me doze off for long, I pressed on.  After further reading, I took a moment to acknowledge my weakness to the Lord.  As I finished up, I was tempted to get going with the day, but I opened up a book on the Gospel.  This is something I’ve begun to do to help me preach the Gospel to myself every day.  I find it helpful that when I can’t seem to preach the Gospel to myself, I can let somebody else do it for me.  I read the following short excerpt from The Gospel for Real Life by Jerry Bridges:

 

“Happily for us, however, our reconciliation to God is permanent and eternal.  Because Christ accomplished it for us, there is no possibility it can ever be undone.  Though we continue, even as believers, to do those things that in themselves deserve God’s displeasure, we can never revert to a state of divine alienation.  For the sake of Christ, God will always accept us …… we must always keep in mind that our status and favor and friendship with God is always and ever will be, based on the objective work of Christ for us as our representative and substitute.  We have been forever reconciled to God though the death of His Son.”  (p. 96-97)

           

I closed my books this time, but at real peace as I thought about the glorious reality that my spiritual weakness is covered and overcome by his spiritual strength.  This day like so many others started out in weakness and temptation to abandon my quiet time, yet the Lord faithfully drew me and refreshed my spirit.  If you have had similar experiences, I encourage you to persevere.  He will not disappoint.  He can meet us in even the most unquiet times. 

Posted by Jean Benson

 

Editor’s note:  Jean Benson is a wife and mother at CFC who is also a licensed pharmacist.  This skill has produced some unexpected but ultimately glorious adventures for Jean.  Here’s her story from her recent participation on the Covenant Mercies Medical E-team to Uganda last month.  It’s longer than our usual blogs but will encourage you no matter what God is calling you to.

 

In October 2006, I was on a plane heading to Nagongera, Uganda.  If you know me, this was so far out of my comfort zone it was ridiculous.  There was very little desire in my heart to participate on this type of missions trip.  Fortunately God is so much bigger than my fears and apprehensions.  He used the encouragement of my husband Wendell and others, along with my own grappling for faith to confirm His will for me to go.

  

Fast forward to summer 2008.  Another medical missions trip was announced.  Clearly, in my mind, I had already served my time in Uganda.  Upon hearing that the area for this trip was even more rural and there was a possibility of no running water, I came up with a strategy - avoid Doug Hayes at all costs.

I am the type of person who does not prefer most creatures, except cats and kittens.  I hate all insects and the prospect of being dirty.  I do not enjoy hot summers in the U.S., much less in Africa.  I also do not like surprises and fear the unknown.  Having experienced a horrible bug situation at the end of my last trip, I had vowed never to return to Uganda.  Surely, of all the churches we have in Sovereign Grace, it should not be difficult to find one or two pharmacists besides me to send along.

 

This was the state of my heart during the summer of 2008.  It was screaming emphatically, NO!  Yet once again the spirit of God broke through my fears and unbelief, with encouragement from Wendell and friends.  There was a growing awareness that this medical team had a need and clearly God was not raising up anyone else.  I realized that God was calling me once again to go to Uganda.  The months of preparation that led up to the trip were mostly filled with fear and dread.  Praise God!  His grace is so much bigger than my fears and anxieties.  Although He was gradually chipping away at my unbelief and fear, leaving the U.S. was still a complete step of faith.  Right up until departure I was hopeful the trip might be cancelled.  In fact, it had snowed in London on the day of our departure.  Since London had not seen snow in about 20 years, Heathrow cancelled over 700 flights into their airport.  All flights that is, except the one scheduled to depart from Heathrow to Entebbe the following day.  That was my flight.

 

God was again reminding me that His grace would be sufficient for me in my weakness and that I was to fully trust in Him.  He was the one who was controlling this trip.  This was not an easy task, since most of the people I was surrounded by seemed so excited to be going.  However, God very graciously connected me with another person on the trip with a similar testimony to mine.  For us, this missions trip was a leap out of our comfort zone, looking to God constantly for grace for each situation.

 

After a 20 plus hour trip from London by plane and car our 8 hour flight, we arrived after midnight, looking forward to hitting the ground running the next day.  But God supernaturally carried us and sustained us as we sought to provide medical care for the people of Kiburara.  We later found out that this small town, that was not even on the map and was unknown even by people in Uganda had caught the attention of the Creator of the Universe.  I began to realize that God had called me to play a small part in the work He was doing here!  What a privilege!

 

My second day in Kiburara started around 3:00 am.  I was startled awake by an intense, overwhelming feeling of panic.  Initially, I could not breathe, I could not speak and I forgot where I was.  As I reached for my flash-light, everything was closing in around me; the mosquito net seemed to suffocate me.  I wanted to scream to my room-mate for help, but all that came out was a whisper.  I was crippled by fear, though my Bible and walkman lay a the foot of my bed, I could not move.  My heart was racing as I reviewed my options.  Leaving the bed to go to my roommate was not optional, I feared what might be crawling on the ground, and leaving the room conjured up even more frightening prospects.

 

I could not recount a single scripture.  Slowly and quietly I began to cry ‘God help me!  God help me!’  Soon I remembered a song from my daughters' CD.  I quietly sang, “When I am afraid I will trust in you, I will trust in you, in God whose word I pray.”  I sang this over and over as I rocked back and forth on the bed.  Some time had passed, and then suddenly scriptures started to flood my mind, it seemed to be every scripture I had ever memorized on fear and trusting God.  The crippling, overwhelming feeling started to diminish and I reached for my walkman and started to worship God for what seemed like hours.  When I looked at my watch it was just after 4:30am, and that was the last thing I remember until my alarm went off.

 

Although the desire to return home was still in my mind, there was increasing grace to remain and walk where God was calling me to go.  God was using my limitations to display His awesome power.  I still marvel at the fact that God took a simple housewife and homeschooling mother on this journey.  I no longer practice pharmacy, but have maintained my license, apparently for a time such as this.  I am overcome by how God delights in using our weaknesses to display His power and glory.  As difficult as it was for me to go on this trip, I will forever be aware of how God chose me, in spite of my fears.  We serve an extraordinary God.

Posted by: Kathy Breslin

Editor’s note – Ladies welcome one of our new bloggers from Thrive (the singles' ministry) – Kathy Breslin

I don’t know about you but I can talk myself into believing just about anything.  I grew up in a family of lawyers which came with its own set of blessings as well as curses.  Our family discussions were always lively but the point of them was to win.  And to win wasn’t about being right as much as it was about who could argue their point the best.  While sometimes this skill set is beneficial, it’s not always.  Especially when I use my arguing ability to convince myself of things that aren’t true.  Let me give you an example.

You don’t have to know me very well to know that I love to horseback ride and compete at horse shows.  It’s a blessing from the Lord to be able to enjoy it, but God also finds a way to work on my heart in the meantime.  When I ride in a horse show I’ve spent countless hours preparing to go.  It’s easy for me to pay lip service to God, “it’s for His Glory,” but when the day doesn’t go according to my plan, it can really bother me.  Or if the day goes better than I planned, how come it can feel like empty success?  Maybe it’s because I’ve talked myself into believing that I am riding for His Glory when in reality it’s so easy to ride for my own.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that being disappointed over a bad day means I’m automatically in sin, but a lot of times it is revealing something.      

What is it revealing?  Well, for me, it’s easy to convince myself that I have everything under control and leave God at the door.  I’ve worked hard, we’re ready (my horse and me – and he never seems to struggle with heart issues), so I’ll take it from here.  But God isn’t persuaded by my logic or internal arguments.  Rather, He is faithful to me to reveal my heart in these times.  He draws me back to His goodness as the Sovereign Lord and reminds me that my identity is not in being an equestrian but being a daughter of the Most High.  I love being an equestrian, but serving God who loves me so much that He took the wrath that I deserve, there is nothing better.  And when my focus is truly on His glory, he is also faithful to provide opportunities for me to declare His Glory to those in my equestrian world.

So what are some of the ways you convince yourself of things that God won’t buy into?  What stories about yourself are you tempted to believe?  How does the Sovereign God who numbered all of the hairs on your head remind you that he knows all the games and all the arguments you can buy into?  Aren’t you grateful that we serve a loving Savior who is not only wiser than us, but knows how to gently bring reality checks into our mixed up motivations.

Posted by: Andrea Sharp

Not too long ago my daughter Rosie and I went for an early morning walk before breakfast.  I walk and she rides her scooter—good exercise for both of us.  She’s a real trooper especially since winter mornings can be so cold.  As we entered the kitchen I was starving!  She asked if I would make her some hot chocolate, but the first thing that came to my mind was my loud stomach and hunger pangs!  I announced it was time for her to learn to make her own hot chocolate.  I barked out the steps as she got the milk and the chocolate sauce out.  Meanwhile I was chomping down on my shredded wheat (something not even tasty—which my family continually reminds me).  She finally got her hot chocolate, but as she sat down I was off toward the rest of my day and my agenda.

Later that morning we were reading the book Heaven for kids by Randy Alcorn, and the few pages we read were about good deeds which do not earn our way to Heaven, but nonetheless please God and can bring rewards for us in heaven.  Alcorn gave some examples saying, “Good works include helping and doing kind things for people, such as visiting someone in a nursing home, baking cookies for your neighbor, or making hot chocolate for a family member.”  (p. 105).  Startling, you would think.  But I was dull to my heart, and it took a while for this timely little rebuke to from the Lord to sink in.  Later that night, by God’s grace, I was able to confess at our fellowship group, and I started to see my selfishness and God’s grace to reveal it to me.  “For truly I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.”  (Mark 9:41)  I realize I missed an opportunity that day, but thankfully the lesson has not been lost on me.  I try to be quick now to offer hot chocolate when we return, and I am the one who is blessed when I see her face as she slurps up those marshmallows.

God is so kind to not leave us to ourselves.  If any of you ladies can relate to my selfishness and the difficulty of serving your children over and over in what seems at times to be a thankless job, remember that the Lord is not asleep.  He is an ever present help.  He is able to bring our sins to our attention, grant us forgiveness and extend grace for change.  He cares about even the smallest things.  He will bless the dishing of love in any form we give it – hot chocolate included.  What an amazing God we serve!

Posted by: Trish Donohue

I find it fascinating that so many parents, including myself, discipline their children in the bathroom.

 It certainly doesn’t seem like a logical choice—first of all you have to sit on the one available seat, presumably not the most attractive or clean one in the house.  Second, bathrooms are often tiny rooms, and I have emerged from many a loving discipline session feeling like I’ve been locked in a small closet with a wolverine.  Thirdly, it is the most frequently visited room in the house.  You can bank on the fact that as soon as you enter the bathroom with your suspect, someone will be pounding on the door while jumping up and down in obvious discomfort.  And you happen to be sitting on their source of relief. 

And yet there is some irony in the choice.  Because bathrooms have mirrors.  They have other things in them as well—recent finds in my own powder room include a hand-made bow and arrow, toddler-size undies (that’s always scary), and a Lego warship.  But there is always a mirror.  And I find the mirror an unnerving fixture when I’m disciplining my kids.  The bathroom mirror is a tool God uses to make sure the sermons I’m preaching to my kids are getting preached back to me as well.  

You see, after disciplining a child, I talk with them about what happened and about their sin and God’s mercy.  We’ve been well taught.  But any parent knows that these words of wisdom are not always received with rapt attention and deep conviction.  Yet no matter what behavior the guilty party is exhibiting, one person’s eyes are always watching me—my own.  The mirror becomes my teacher in those moments.  It has corrected me, encouraged me, and convicted me.

“Honey, it seems like in a lot of these situations you’re only thinking about what would serve you.  It doesn’t seem like you’re thinking of others or what would bless them.”  (The eyes in the mirror are watching.)

“Are we allowed to complain and become angry when we don’t get exactly what we want?  Is getting what we want the goal in life?”  (The ears in the mirror are listening.)

The mirror has diagnosed me perfectly.  How can I tell my children something that I still struggle with so much, calling them to a high standard when my own example is unsteady?  Are these sessions just a cycle of failures and lectures?  Should I go on?

But the voice in the mirror keeps talking…

“Love, you could never pay for these sins or earn God’s favor.  But God has done what we never could.  He’s made a rescue...”

As the redemptive truths continue, I’m reminded that God doesn’t give up on his children.  His mercy comes to us not just in times of obedience, but in times of failure—and failure again.  My kids and I all need a Father who is patient and loving to us.  I’m so glad I have a bathroom mirror to remind me. 

Posted by: Deb Demi

 “How can they afford to finish their basement or add an addition to their house?”  “Why is that family always able to take elaborate vacations while ours consists of sleeping on the floor of a tent?”  “My ‘poor’ kids have to buy their own underwear and pay for their own college.”  If I don’t guard my heart, I can easily find myself living in discontentment land rather than being satisfied within the boundaries of the pleasant place God has for me.

Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life.  Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t.  And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources.  But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.

When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:

1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness.  As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me.  As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment.  Colossians 2:6 - 7

2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family.  I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family.  There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel.  I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work.  Proverbs 3:5

3. By Focusing on Eternity:  Earth is not my home.  Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish.  I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth.  When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison.  Matthew 6:19 - 21

I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment.  There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent.  I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy.  I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances. 

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”  Hebrews 13:5

Posted by: Deb Demi
Whoever created flat, un-washable ceiling paint obviously doesn’t like our family.

While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen.  My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report. 

"Mom!  Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."

(Hmmm.  Since when do spills sound like an explosion?) 

"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction).  They're trying to wash it off."

(Wash it off?  Hot chocolate?  On the ceiling??)

On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains.  However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?

So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.)  But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial.  In my journal I wrote: 

"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life.  What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him.  I can't see this role as insignificant.  This Christ-like responding is my calling right now.  I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home.  What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"

"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother.  It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."

When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors.  I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.

With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day.  Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother. 

May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  1 Thessalonians 5:19

Posted by: Andrea Sharp

Editor’s note:  Andrea submitted this blog last Christmas but we didn’t get the chance to use it.  But she told me that this is becoming their new tradition.

As I stuffed the gifts under my bed, I couldn’t believe David and I had just spent the whole day shopping together—a first in our 25 years of marriage!  I have always done the majority of the Christmas shopping for our family, but this year, I was not able to get out there and do the early bird thing.  So I asked David if he would be willing to take one of his vacation days and go with me.  The look on his face said it all; but then he quickly recovered and agreed to go.  We started the day at eight am and headed for Lowe’s.  Within 3 minutes (give or take), David found some cool gadgets for the men in our extended family and then headed for the register.

Now David is disposed toward decisiveness and efficiency, a quality I’ve always liked in him – except for times such as this.  I tend to mull over things, compare, evaluate, and analyze.  Some say I go overboard trying to get just the right thing at the right price, which can make shopping with me a “prisoner of war” type experience.  I can’t imagine how they come to that conclusion. 

As we sat in the car looking over our shopping list, I started to get this uncomfortable feeling that David might not be the asset I thought he’d be.  Without much thought, I offered him an “observation,” mumbling something about missing evangelism opportunities if we did things his way.  Mercifully, he did not expose my attempt to manipulate and listened with a gentle smile.  I was experiencing our differences acutely at that moment, and I had a choice on how to respond.  Could I joyfully follow my husband’s leadership and wisdom, or would I battle for supremacy?  By God’s grace, I did not press the issue and we went onto the next store.  We were there a little longer, say about 10 minutes  And so went the day.  As we traveled to each place, we talked over ideas, laughed, and bantered with each other—all still at a nice pace.  By the afternoon, we were sitting in a restaurant counting our receipts, and I couldn’t believe we were almost done.  It was amazing to me – for I would have traditionally spread this event out over weeks and over budget.

As I recounted the day (which by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed), I marveled at the grace of God to use our differences as the source of joy between us that day rather than as a joy extinguisher.  We, as well as close friends of ours, would be the first to tell you that there are many times when both of us have made different choices in our words and actions toward one another, and still do, but God has been so merciful to us a couple.  His amazing grace first saves us and then “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”  (Titus 2:12)  And in the context of relationships, in this case our marriage which God has so graciously given us to enjoy, that results in forbearance, harmony, and love, which in turn reflects His character and brings the glory to Him!

And a wonderful day of shopping!

Posted by: Trish Donohue

Beauty has a magnetic affect.  A gorgeous sunset, a powerful piece of music, great art—they draw us in.  The longing in our souls for something higher, better, unlike ourselves, primes us to want more of it.  But if I’m not careful, they can draw me into the thing itself instead of into its author, the Eternal God.  The emotions and longings the roaring ocean evokes in me can lead me to become a lover of nature, rather than a lover of God.  The inspiration that floods the soul after a good play or a great book or a lovely song can make me a lover of theater or literature or music—only.  My temporal nature gets lazy and stops at the creation instead of following the golden thread back to its Source, the Master Creator, Singer, Writer, Composer.  God is the source of all joy.

A friend and I were commenting on the media’s growing ability to control our emotions.  Our conversation turned toward the widely acclaimed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy.  The majestic, almost magical quality surrounding the character of Aragorn in Lord of the Rings attracts us.  There is something right in the royalty this earthy man carries in his veins.  Hollywood has done its job well to portray something utterly convincing and attractive to us. 

But do we trace the thread?  Do those majestic, triumphant feelings meet us again in our times with the Lord the next morning?  Do we marvel that no beauty on earth is unsurpassed in heaven?  Does our breath quicken as we consider that the magic and mystery of Tolkien’s characters are paper dolls compared to the blazing glory of our God?  Did the slashing royal sword bearing the name Sting raise our adrenaline in the theater seat?  Sting would crumble to pieces before the sword described in Revelation, wielded by the One called Faithful and True.  He is the Rider of the white horse, whose eyes are a flame of fire and who is crowned with many crowns, the one who is followed by all the armies of heaven.

I’m always grateful for the reminders that Jesus is not an androgynous figure in a white gown surrounded by lambs.  He’s not a good luck charm or a wise teacher or a distant deity.  He is fearful and beautiful, holy and glorious.  And amazingly, He has descended from his throne to purchase my hopeless soul, declaring me not only a subject, but a sister, an heir, a beloved.       

The most powerful emotion, longing, joy, or inspiration, is a long-cast shadow from heaven, meant to point us to the Beautiful One. 

Posted by: Deb Demi

I'm not a very spontaneous person. My husband on the other hand is Mr. Spontaneity himself. So when it comes to hospitality, we don’t always start out in the same place.

When I think of hospitality, I think of contacting the people we want to have over and putting a date on the calendar for some time in the future. Or, if I really want to challenge my spontaneous side, I'll prepare on Saturday and then "spontaneously" ask someone over on Sunday morning.

Jeff, however, has begun a new trend. For the second time, in what I perceive as the second of many, Jeff turned to me at the end of the church service and said, "What are we having for lunch today? I want to invite this couple in front of us home for lunch." (May I add a couple we've never met?) A petrified feeling came over me as I answered, "Uh, maybe Ramen noodles?" thinking also of the shambles we left our house in that morning. Jeff sensing my distress (maybe by the color that drained from my face) said, "What about dessert instead?"

As the service closed, Jeff tapped the young couple sitting in front of us, introduced himself, and then asked them if they wanted to come to our house for dessert later in the evening. When they asked what they could bring, he simply said - your testimonies.

Lately we've been sensing the need to be more intentional in our practice of hospitality. We want to engage our guests together as a family and draw our kids into the conversations. We also want to focus a portion of our time to listening to how the Lord is working in the lives of others.

After playing a game with this young couple as a family, our guests each shared their testimony. One son of ours, in particular, was touched and was able to relate to the young man's journey. The Lord used this random act of hospitality to speak into his life just when he needed it most. And, we don't yet know the effect that this couple's testimonies along with the others that have been shared in our home have had in the lives of our other kids.

So recently when I saw Jeff talking to yet another young couple (whom I didn't know) at a wedding, I knew what was coming. "What are we doing tomorrow night?” Jeff asked me. "I just invited them over for dessert."

There is nothing wrong with planning for times of hospitality (I have several dates on the calendar), but may I encourage you to be open to spontaneously inviting people into your home even if it's just for dessert? And don't forget to ask them to bring their testimonies.

Posted by: Cindy Campbell

I am a regular reader of the blog Girltalk which is written by Carolyn Mahaney and her married daughters- Nicole, Kristen and Janelle. On October 6, 2008 their post was entitled “The Ideal Woman.” In my sin, I thought, oh yeah, here is my nemesis- that Proverbs 31 woman. I have been married over 28 years and have been a believer for longer than that; how much more can I read about her? But because I am so regularly provoked in my walk by what they post, I kept reading. Here are a couple of snippets from that first day:

She’s strong; she’s wise; she’s godly. And she’s intimidating.

For that reason, we sometimes avoid the Proverbs 31 woman! If we were at a party with characters from the Bible, most of us would probably rather hang out with some of the more “flawed” women: Sarah who laughed at God’s promises, or Rebekah who was deceptive, or Martha who was rebuked by our Lord.

The very next day, their post was titled The Proverbs 31 Wife.- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). Here is what Nicole said on that day:

“Doing Your Husband Good” wouldn’t play well on the cover of a woman’s magazine these days. In the aftermath of the feminist movement, motherhood has made a comeback, and even domesticity has regained popularity, but the role of a wife as portrayed in the Bible remains repulsive.

Kristen shared the following a few days later: First, take a look--Who is the one designed and appointed to bring my husband good? It’s none other then me! Many people may be a blessing to my husband, but as his wife, I have been created, fashioned and designed to be the most effective at bringing my husband good.”

Why is this important? They go on to show how our doing good to our husbands is a powerful display of the Gospel to a fallen world.

Already the Lord was at work in my own heart. He was gently bringing back to my mind, my husband’s comment from last night about how he likes all the window blinds open or how he really liked it better when I hang his shirts a certain way. At the time, in my sinful heart, I was thinking- yeah, yeah- it is really just a preference issue, but the Lord began to show me how in the little things I was not doing my husband good.

Ladies- if you are like me, I need a provoking reminder of what the Word has called me to do. It is so easy with all of the many things in our lives as women- motherhood, housework, Biblical fellowship, serving in the church, reaching out to our neighbors, caring for our parents etc to lose sight of what our first priority is!

Girltalk offered some great perspective on how to do our husbands good for a lot of different marriage situations. Here are just a few examples: A Woman of Action, Good with Her Gifts (even if it is Laundry)’; ‘Doing Good In a Difficult Marriage’; and ‘When I Don’t Want to Do Him Good’. They are even compiling a list of creative ways to do our husbands good!

Let’s take a moment as wives to ask the Lord to help us be doers of His Word. Take some time over the next few days to read the posts at Girltalk and allow the Lord to give you some ideas of ways that you can grow as a Proverbs 31 wife. Whether you are newly married or married for many, many years, I know that the Lord will be faithful as He has been with me to give you creative ways to do “your husband good.”

Expressing our love for our husbands and children in tangible ways leaves tangible fingerprints of our love on their hearts. It strengthens our family ties and builds a storehouse of precious memories of just how much mom loves them!

By Cindy Campbell

Editor's note: The following is a blog post that Cindy passed on written by Sheree Phillips that is from the Metro Life Church blog MetroMoms. It is a bit longer than usual, but worth the read. As Cindy says, “May this blog provoke all of us as Mom's to remember that our lives have been purchased by the Savior and that we have no claim to any our 24/7 - no matter what season of mothering we live in.”

Last Sunday night I spent the evening with my married girls. We included Lauren this time, since she will marry our Joey in a few short weeks. The purpose of the evening was to discuss a wonderful sermon by pastor and author J.R. Miller called, “The Christian Wife.” Although he died in the early 1900’s and the standards and vocabulary can seem a little out of date to today’s sophisticated Christian woman, the truths are timeless, inspiring and convicting. (If you want to get a copy of the sermon follow the link to the MetroMoms blog)

Preparing for this time together with a married daughter, two daughters-in-law, and a future daughter-in-law caused me once again to realize I’m on the back nine. But my heart and desire as a mother remains the same as when my approaching 30 daughter was the age of your little ones. Back then I wanted her to love being a girl. Love God’s wise and loving design in making her distinctly female, with all the responsibilities and privileges that entails. She was surrounded by brothers (until God mercifully gave her sisters some years later) and although she enjoyed playing with match box cars and didn’t mind getting dirty while playing outside, she was all girl.

I wanted her to grow up to embrace godly womanhood. To resist cultural pulls to feminism and resenting her created design to be a suitable helper to a husband and a godly mother to children, should the Lord give them to her. I wanted to do my best to equip her to be an effective home manager.

By God’s grace, Jaime loves being a mom. And now she longs for the same things for Kayla, Annie and Danae that I prayed would be her heart’s desire.

But she still needs the help, encouragement, correction and Titus 2 mentoring of others. At 3 she needed my help to learn to make her bed. At 7 we “used” her baby sister to teach her to bathe, burp and comfort a newborn. At 10 she needed help to understand why lying about cheating on her home school work was a reflection of her sinful jealousy over having to work harder on math than her older brother. At 15 it took time and long talks to help her understand why it was important to be honest with her temptations and sins, even when she was embarrassed. And at 18 she needed help to deal again with those same issues, especially when her lack of humility resulted in needing to apply the gospel when unmortified sin made life rough. (As it does with all of us!)

What am I feeling? I guess I want you to know that what you are doing with your life isn’t just for “this season.” Do you think that once the kids go to school or learn to drive you will have more time for yourself? Do you dream of the days when they will actually respond to your training and stop interrupting, making messes and learn first-time obedience? Realize that laying down your life for your children is a lifetime commitment. The break our culture and our sinful hearts long for will only happen if we give in to the myth of midlife selfishness.

Yes, there are days when I can lounge in the pool for 45 minutes uninterrupted, spend some extra time at lunch with a friend or have a leisurely devotional time without wondering what’s going on in the family room. But according to scripture, my life is not any more my own than yours is. I don’t wake up to nurse babies anymore. I just have trouble falling and staying asleep because I had iced tea with dinner or my hormones are wacky. I don’t get anxious about high fevers or whether I’m doing an adequate job teaching a first grader to read. I battle fearful concerns about whether my kids are adequately battling the worldliness or lust or self-righteousness or discontent that can lead to serious consequences in marriages and families.

I’m here to say that motherhood is a life calling. My role has certainly changed over the decades. What my life looks like is different in many ways. But I remain constrained by the gospel to continue giving my life away to my kids. When the Savior bought me with the price of His sinless blood on the cross, He laid rightful claim to every moment of every day of my life through eternity.

So if you’re waiting for the day when you can “get your life back” (as I recently read one author say about midlife when the kids are grown) please stop. Most of the same sins I battled when I was your age I’m still battling. And the same need I had for God’s strength to give my life away 24/7 then remains my need today.

In fact, it’s time to close this lengthy post. I have wedding rehearsal dinner invitations to address, a youth meeting to attend with 2 of my kids, clothes to move to the dryer, and a son who’s been gone for a week to pick up at the airport.

Lord, thank you for calling me to a life of devotion to others, especially my family. Give me strength to persevere in my battle against the sin that easily lures me to love myself more than I love them. Pour out Your grace on the young moms who are reading this post today. Give them a long term vision for their mothering and protect them from worldly thoughts of getting their lives back. Their lives, and mine, were purchased by you. How foolish to ever want they back!

By Ramona Doyle

Technology: It’s invading just about every aspect of our culture and lives, and much of what I do depends on it. IPods, Email, cell phones, podcasts, blogs, and online shopping are all a part of my family’s daily life and vocabulary. But I am finding that without intentional regulation, this information explosion can easily lay waste to my schedule and take over many of my waking hours!

I have seen the need to build some helpful constraints into my schedule keep technology in its rightful and useful place. Scripture says, “We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) Technology can be a useful tool for accomplishing what God has called me to do, or it can distract me from his purposes. Here are guidelines I have found helpful for regulating my use of technology and some questions I frequently ask myself:

• Start with priorities. If I am a wife and mother, caring for my husband and family come first.

    * Question: Am I allowing the use of technology (checking email, blogs, and computer games) to interfere with the priorities God has given me?

• Set some limits. I try to limit when and how often I check email or blogs. If you must check email often because frequent communication is necessary for your family or ministry, try to stay focused on necessary communication and save less urgent items for a time that you can schedule.

    * Question: Am I mastering my email, or is it mastering me?

• Stop surfing. Try a blog-feed service that will combine new posts on blogs you frequent. That allows you to go to one place for everything instead of wasting valuable time logging on and off. And try limiting the number of blogs you follow. It keeps me busy just following up on the many wonderful resources our pastors recommend along with their sermons.

    * Question: Am I maxing out on information and forgetting about application?

• Stay in touch. Our lives as wives and mothers are primarily relational. Try using a speaker system for your IPod so that when you are listening to music or sermons, it is not to the exclusion of your family. Monitor amounts of time spent in chit-chat on the phone.

    * Question: Am I practically unavailable to my husband or children because I’m plugged-in, on line, or tied up for extended periods during the day?

Take it one thing at a time. And be encouraged…a little thought and application go a long way.